Save Me From Myself (Nashville Nights)

by Stacey Mosteller

  Anna’s standing behind her bristling, but when I give her one hard look, she looks away. Interesting, I think she might actually be on my side in this whole thing. Good to know. Turning back to Jeremy, I only have one more question I need answered. “How long?”

  Jeremy runs a hand through his hair and at least has the sense to look ashamed. Bastard should be ashamed. He’s been fucking around with my little sister behind my back. The same girl he’s known from the time she was a baby. The girl who he moved back to Nashville to help me take care of when she was a teenager. How the fuck does this shit happen? When he doesn’t say anything, I ask again, “Damn it Jeremy, how long have you been fucking around with my sister?”

  His back goes ramrod stiff and he gets right up in my face. “I haven’t been fucking around with her at all. We’ve been seeing each other for about three weeks.”

  “Seeing each other? Is that what you call it now? What the fuck Jer! We’ve been friends our entire lives, and you’re going to fuck me over like this? Do you get how messed up that is?” We’re shouting at each other now, almost nose to nose, and it’s all I can do not to break his fucking neck.

  “Back off D,” Jeremy warns, but I’m past the point of caring. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

  “Yeah? And why’s that friend? Why don’t I know what I’m talking about? Oh yeah, that’s right! Because you chose to keep this shit a secret. Did you think you were just going to be able to fuck my sister like you do every other girl you take to dinner?” SarahBeth pales next to Jeremy at my words, lifting one hand to her mouth and staring at Jeremy with a “please don’t let that be what this is” expression. The look on her face pisses me off more, but it also causes an ache in my chest because I know I’m the one that put that look there.

  “I said back off David! I’m not going to tell you again.” Jeremy’s fists are clenched at his sides and he’s so pissed he’s vibrating. I’ve seen Jeremy like this before, but never because I’ve been the cause of it.

  Feeling reckless, I continue to taunt him, “I won’t back off you sorry ass bastard. You’re going to break her mother fucking heart and for what? So you can get a piece of ass? That’s low Jeremy, fucking low, even for you.” As soon as the words shoot out of my mouth, I realize that that’s it. Jeremy’s had enough and he lunges forward to retaliate with his fists.

  ***

  The guys attack each other, each throwing punches and trying to literally beat each other to a pulp. SarahBeth’s sobbing, and after exchanging a look with me, Anna dodges around the guys, giving them a wide berth. When she reaches SarahBeth, she draws her into her arms, murmuring soothing words to her in an attempt to soothe her tears. That leaves me to try to separate the two guys, which is NOT something I want to do. While I’m trying to figure out what the hell to do to get them apart, Anna gets SarahBeth’s phone and punches out a message on it. Within a few minutes, Olivia comes outside with her brother Chris and David’s friend Tyler. I don’t see any sign of her boyfriend, but at least she’s brought some reinforcements.

  Chris and Tyler start trying to separate David and Jeremy, but don’t have much luck at first. They’re mostly trying to avoid getting hit themselves. I’ve never seen anyone fight like this. They are both fighting like the loser will be put to death, and I’m terrified. I’m more scared about what will happen if they don’t stop fighting than I am about David’s reaction when he figures out that I’ve known all this time. Of course, that’s if he hasn’t already figured it out. Based on his reaction when I touched him before, I’d say the chances are pretty good that he has.

  A couple more guys from our party tonight show up as reinforcements for Chris and Tyler, after being contacted by Olivia I’m assuming, and between the six of them, they are finally able to separate David and Jeremy and keep them apart. Both are spitting out mouthfuls of blood and giving each other “eat shit and die” glares.

  “What in the mother fucking hell is going on?” Tyler asks throwing his hands up in the air to bring their attention to him instead of each other. Even with everything going on right now, I can’t not appreciate his slight British accent.

  David wipes his bloody mouth with the back of his hand, “Ask that asshole what the fuck is going on. I’ll bet you’ll be just as thrilled as I am.” He’s studiously avoiding looking at Jeremy, his sister, and me right now. I’m hoping he’ll at least give me the chance to explain. I should probably wait until he calms down though.

  Tyler raises an eyebrow at David’s tone, but finally shrugs and looks over at Jeremy, “Well, mate, do you want to tell me what’s going on? Or are we just going to go back and forth all night?”

  Jeremy aims a glare at Tyler before spitting out, “He’s pissed because I’m seeing his sister.”

  David interrupts quickly to say, “No, I’m pissed because you’re fucking my sister!”

  They start shouting expletives and insults back and forth until Tyler looks like a ping pong ball going back and forth between them. He gets fed up quickly, finally yelling, “Shut the fuck up you arseholes!” They both turn to glare at him, but they do stop shouting. “Right,” Tyler says, “you both need a breather. Jeremy, you can sleep on my couch tonight and the two of you can pick this up tomorrow.”

  “You can take Jeremy back to yours, but he’s not coming back tomorrow unless it’s to pick up his shit. I’ll make sure it’s in the mother fucking yard and he can drive by for it.”

  “David…” Chris starts, but David cuts him off.

  “No, fuck that Chris. What if it was Olivia? Would you want to be around him if you found out he was fucking your sister?” Chris shuts his mouth at David’s words, obviously seeing his point. David turns to Jeremy one more time, saying, “Don’t fucking call me and don’t come to the bar. Just stay the fuck away from me and my sister. Got it?”

  Jeremy looks like he’s going to argue, but after looking at SarahBeth who’s still sobbing in Anna’s arms, he just nods his head. Looking over at Anna, David tells her he’ll take me home and she nods silently before giving me a sad smile. She knows just as well as I do that tonight is definitely not going to end well. All I can do is hope that David forgives me, that he doesn’t leave me. Otherwise, keeping the secret in the first place to avoid SarahBeth’s wrath was pointless.

  “What the fuck were you thinking Lyric?” David is pissed. He’s glaring at me, and his eyes have absolutely no warmth in them. I know I should have told him what was going on with SarahBeth and Jeremy, but SarahBeth pretty much blackmailed me into not saying anything to her brother after I walked in on them two weeks ago. I told her then that he deserved to know and that I didn’t want to keep it from him, but then she started threatening to convince him that she hated me. Knowing that he wouldn’t be with me if his sister truly disliked me, I agreed. Now, it just might cost me everything.

  “It wasn’t my secret to tell David. She asked me not to say anything. What would you have me do?” I ask him, dreading the answer he might give me. “What would you do if you were in that position? Having to make a choice between your boyfriend and someone you thought was your friend?”

  David stalked up to me, causing me to back up, until my back was up against the wall and there was nowhere else for me to go. Once he had me effectively trapped, he growled, “I wouldn’t be put in that position Lyric. I wouldn’t put anyone above you! There wouldn’t be a choice to make.”

  “You don’t know that David! What if it was something about Jeremy? What if you knew something about him and he asked you not to tell me? It was an impossible…”

  He cuts me off. “NO! It wasn’t an impossible situation. My best friend has been fucking my little sister for weeks and you knew about it. We talked about the fact that there was something going on with her and that I was concerned, and still you said nothing! Not a goddamned thing Lyric! You could have put me out of my misery weeks ago, and you said nothing. You sat there with me, knowing I was worried about her, worried about what wa
s going on with her. You should have told me.” He’s not looking at me anymore, and my stomach clenches. He’s so mad at me. I don’t know what I can do to make it better.

  I’m pleading with him now, “David, she’s your sister. She asked me to let her tell you when she was ready. How could I tell her no? She’s known you for 21 years, I’ve only known you for a handful of months. What did you expect me to do?”

  Stopping, he stares at me disbelievingly, “What do I expect you to do? I expect you to be honest with me Lyric. This isn’t high school. Life isn’t about friendships, it’s about doing what’s right. I can’t be with someone who can’t tell me the truth.”

  My heart stops, and I can barely ask, “What are you saying David?” My voice breaks, and it’s all I can do not to break down.

  Pinching his nose between two fingers, he sighs. Then, David looks at me sadly, and says, “I can’t trust you Lyric. If I can’t trust you, we can’t have a relationship.”

  When the tears start streaming down my face, he flinches. He’s really going to break up with me over trying to do what his sister wanted? It’s not like I wanted to lie to him. This can’t be happening. Ending things with Matt was nowhere near this painful, and we were together for three years! I’ve got to fix this.

  “David, please. Please talk to me. Let me explain -“ I start to say, and I can barely understand myself I’m crying so hard. But, David just shakes his head and starts to turn away. I reach out to grab his arm, and he jerks away from me.

  He doesn’t look at me again as he walks out my front door. He doesn’t say a word and he doesn’t slam the door. He just leaves me.

  ***

  Walking into my office at Drench, I’m at a loss. Normally, when something fucked up happens, I talk to Jeremy. Only, Jeremy is part of the reason everything is fucked sideways. Jeremy. And my baby sister. What. The. Fuck. Growing up, Jeremy spent more time at my house than his own. He was there from the time SB was born.

  And Lyric knew. She’s known for fucking weeks and didn’t clue me in. My sister’s been sneaking around, and looking guilty as hell every single time she’s around me. Lyric knew I was worried and trying to get SB to talk to me. She could have clued me in, but instead, she kept the secret. Every single time I asked her if she had any idea what could be wrong, she looked me in the mother fucking eyes and said no.

  At this point, I don’t know what’s worse. Her lying, or the look on her face when I ended things. I didn’t think my chest could hurt more than it already did, but damn, the look on her face, the tears rolling down her cheeks, it almost broke me. I’d already said irreversible things to her. Things I can never take back. Pain I can never erase.

  Thinking about everything that’s happened this weekend, I explode. I’m not normally a violent man, but with all the bullshit I’ve had to deal with this weekend, I can’t handle it anymore. It’s got to come out somehow. Turning, I punch the wall beside my open office door. I can’t even be here anymore. There’s too many memories. Lyric up against the wall, on the desk…FUCK! This is why I don’t do relationships.

  Walking out of my office, I see SarahBeth standing in the hallway. White-faced, she’s staring at me like I’m going to lose it any moment. And, she’s probably not far off. I feel like I’m going to lose it. “David,” she starts, but I cut her off raising my hand.

  “Don’t fucking start SarahBeth,” I don’t want to talk to her about this shit. I don’t want to listen to her excuses, her reasons why they went behind my back. “I’m too pissed right now to deal with you.”

  At my words, she goes even paler, but nods her head. When she says nothing else, I squeeze past her, I’ve got to get out of here. The only thing I want to do tonight is drink myself into oblivion. As I walk down the hallway, I hear my sister whisper brokenly, “I’m sorry.” Shaking my head, I walk over to the bar and grab a bottle of Jack.

  ***

  When Anna gets home, she finds me throwing things into my suitcase.

  “What the hell?” she cries, “Lyric, what are you doing?”

  “David and I are over. I can’t stay here. I need to get as far away from Nashville as I can.” I’m not sure she can even understand me, I’m crying so hard.

  She gasps, “Oh no! Is it because of SarahBeth and Jeremy? Did he let you explain?”

  I shake my head, “When he realized I’d already known and hadn’t said anything, I think it broke him. I’ve never seen him so upset! He looked heartbroken, and I did that to him. He thinks I betrayed him. I don’t think he’ll ever get over that.” After I’ve said that, my shoulders slump, and I sit heavily on the edge of the bed. Anna sits next to me, and puts her arms around me. As soon as she tries to comfort me, I lose it.

  Anna helps me lay down on the bed, and she lays next to me, putting her arms around me. She doesn’t tell me I was wrong for keeping the secret, or that he’s a first class jerk for being upset with me, she just murmurs words I can’t understand while stroking my hair, allowing me to cry. I didn’t cry this much or this hard when I ended things with Matt, but maybe that’s because I was the one to end it that time. This time, it was David’s choice, and it wasn’t what I wanted.

  We lay there like this for a long time, me sobbing, and Anna holding me. When I’m finally cried out, she pulls away and studies me. After a few moments, she opens her mouth, and then closes it again. Finally, with a determined look that I’m very familiar with, she says, “So, you fucked up, he fucked up, his sister and best friend fucked up, and you’re just going to what? LEAVE? That’s your answer to this? To pack up and run with your tail between your legs? You’re not going to fight for him at all?”

  I’m stunned, and my mouth drops open. “Um, what? How am I supposed to fight for him? Did you miss the part where he thinks I betrayed him?”

  “Honey, you did betray him. You knew that his sister and his best friend were screwing behind his back for two weeks. And you said nothing to him. I’d be pretty pissed off too. But, when he calms down, he’s going to realize that you weren’t keeping it from him to hurt him. SarahBeth asked you, well, really, she told you not to tell him. Remember what she said?”

  Yeah, I remember what she told me when she asked me not to tell David. She said if I told him, she’d never forgive me. That she’d make sure David and I didn’t last very long because he wouldn’t be with someone she outright hated. And she would hate me if I told him. I felt like I was being pulled in two directions. I wanted to tell him about his sister. I knew he’d be mad, and hurt that they didn’t tell him, but I also didn’t want to be the one to have to tell him.

  Anna continues, “If you turn tail and run sweetie, you’re telling him that he didn’t mean as much to you as he thought. If you’re able to give up on him so easily, to move on.”

  I sputter, and she says, “I know that’s not what you’re actually doing. But, will he know that? Or will he think you just up and left him?” It doesn’t matter. He’s not going to come looking for me. He may not have come right out and said that tonight, but by telling me that he couldn’t be with someone he doesn’t trust, he implied it.

  Shaking my head, I tell her, “I’m sorry Anna, but I need to leave. At least for right now. I can’t take seeing him everywhere. Ruby’s, here, my bedroom. It hurts too much. I need a break.” God, I hope she understands, because after everything else that happened today, I can’t fight with her too. I just can’t.

  Sighing, resigned, she replies, “Okay Lyric, if you’re sure that’s what you need to do, I’m not going to force you to stay.”

  Thank God. Letting out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding I finish packing my things. Zipping up my suitcase, I ask Anna to take me to the airport. I’ve already booked my flight, I’m too upset to drive back to Manhattan. I’ll have to come back for the rest of my things eventually anyway.

  ***

  I’ve been living in a Jack Daniel’s induced fog for the past three days. I haven’t left the house, I haven’t checked on the bar, ans
wered my phone, or looked at any text messages or emails. SarahBeth has been avoiding me, and Jeremy’s cleaned his shit out and left. The glimpse I had of my sister as she tiptoed down the hall thirty minutes ago has shown me a crushed, heart-broken girl. The fact that I’m largely responsible for the way she looks makes my chest hurt. I’m still pissed. At all three of them. But, I miss them too. It’s the most fucked up combination of feelings I’ve ever had.

  I’ve got to get to the bar and get payroll and inventory orders done. I don’t have to time to sit in a drunken stupor and act like a mother fucking girl.

  When I get to the bar, things are pretty quiet. Of course, it’s only Tuesday afternoon, so that’s not anything new. Bypassing the bar and dance area, I head slowly to my office. Obviously, I should have paid more attention to my surroundings, because I barely sit behind my desk before a brunette, pissed off female is standing in front of my desk glaring at me. Wonderful. She’s just want I want to deal with today.

  I say nothing, just sit and wait for her to speak her peace. With the way she’s practically vibrating with rage, it won’t be long before she erupts. And, true to form, it doesn’t take more than a few seconds before she starts. “Goddamn you David Pearson! I hope you’re happy with yourself! Lyric’s gone!!”

  Wait, what? “What do you mean, she’s gone?” What the hell? Where did she go?

  “She left you asshole. You broke her heart, and she went back to New York,” she practically spits at me. New York? Why in the everliving fuck would she go back there? She swore she never would. She didn’t want to live that close to her mother again. Or Matt. Shit, what have I done? I don’t say anything, just put my elbows on my desk, resting my head in my hands. “That’s right you jerk. The one place she didn’t want to be has now become the only place she thinks she can go. She didn’t want to stay here and risk running into you because she’s convinced you hate her.” Jesus Christ, for such a short little shit, she knows exactly what to say to inflict the most damage.