by Linda Ford
Mary Mae looked ready to cry or demand Donna Grace apologize.
She would do no such thing. He had no right to speak to her that way even if he was tired and worn out from fighting mud for almost two days. He made her sound petty, self-pitying. That’s what came of telling him how her grandfather’s treatment had hurt her, how Melvin’s actions made her feel as if she had no value. And then Papa abandoned them. She buried her face against Elena’s blanket. No one would see the hot tears slipping from her eyes.
Late that afternoon, the sun finally came out. The canvas steamed. The inside of the wagon was hot and muggy. Mary Mae escaped the sweltering heat.
The ground was still saturated, making hard work for the animals.
“I hope we don’t get bogged down again,” Luke muttered.
He seemed to be talking to himself, so Donna Grace didn’t answer. His curt comments had cut deeply.
She couldn’t resist the sunshine though, so sat near the front of the wagon, enjoying the freshness of the world beyond the muddy tracks.
Luke shifted. “I’m sorry.”
Donna Grace let the remark hang in the air. She would not ask for him to explain.
“I spoke out of turn.”
“You only said what you thought.” Somehow she managed to keep her voice steady.
“No, it isn’t what I thought at all. I was tired and worried, and used that as an excuse to say hurtful things. I had no right. I know I failed you by acting in such a poor fashion. I won’t ask you to forgive me, but I hope it won’t make being together intolerable.”
“I think I can learn to overlook it. In time. But don’t expect it will happen automatically.” She was being harsh, but couldn’t stop herself.
“I understand.” His gaze came to hers. His brown eyes clouded and filled with pain.
She knew something he didn’t say. Likely didn’t even realize. “I think—” She spoke softly, slowly, forming her words with care, not wanting to bring more hurt and pain into their troubled relationship. “I think you seek ways to prove you failed, just as you suggest I look for things I can blame myself for.” She ducked her head, unable to meet his eyes, fearing he would take offense. “I am trying to stop doing that. I hope you will do the same.” She sat back in the wagon, not wanting to see pain in his eyes if her words had struck deep.
The rode on in silence for some time. She drowsed in the heat.
“Donna Grace?”
Luke’s voice jerked her to attention.
“What is it?” Please, let’s not fight any longer.
“You’re right. I never realized it before. I can’t say I will change right away, but I will try my best to be more mindful of how I choose to view things.” His voice deepened. “It’s hard to forget that I had some responsibility in Ellen’s death, if only by neglecting to protect her.”
Donna Grace would not point out that he could only do so much. “There comes a time when a person has to trust God to do His share.”
Luke laughed. “Put that way it seems downright foolish to think otherwise.”
Relieved the tension between them had eased, Donna Grace edged forward to look out the front.
The freight wagons were ahead of them, and slowly they came to a halt. “Not again,” Luke muttered.
Buck rode up. “A couple of wagons are stuck. Come and give us a hand.”
Luke jumped down as did Warren and they trotted to the front of the line.
Gil rode to Buck. “Let’s take the others to the left. I think they can get around that hole.”
Donna Grace climbed to the seat. If need be, she could drive the wagon. Papa had taught her. She waited as the heavy wagons slowly crept across the little draw and up the other side. Two teams were taken back to help with the stuck wagons.
Luke helped get the animals into place. Donna Grace could see he struggled with weary animals that knew what they would have to do, and had decided they didn’t want to. The teamsters snapped their whip, yelled and cursed. Luke pulled and shoved.
No wonder the poor man was tired. He’d been doing this for two days now.
Donna Grace called out to Judith. “Can you drive your wagon?”
“Warren has been teaching me.”
“I don’t see any point in sitting here waiting and doing nothing while your brothers work so hard.”
Judith nodded. “I agree. You lead the way.”
Donna Grace took up the reins, sorted them in her hand the way Papa had taught her, and praying she was as good as she remembered, she flicked the reins. The mules startled. She chuckled. “Guess you didn’t expect to have to move with Luke up there, did you?”
The mules twitched their ears then moved forward. Donna Grace glanced over her shoulder to make sure Elena was safe before she drove the animals across the draw, following in the tracks of the larger wagons. Her wagon hit a hole and jarred forward. For a moment, it stalled. “Giddup,” she yelled.
The mules pulled and the wagon righted and moved forward. They reached drier ground and climbed to the hill. The freight wagons, except for the two without oxen, were lined up, waiting.
Donna Grace drew to a halt and looked back to watch Luke and the others trying to free the stuck wagons from the mud. One oozed from the mud and pulled up beside the Russell and Clark wagons.
Luke jogged over. “How did you get over here?”
“I drove.”
“There was no need for that.”
She met his angry glare with a triumphant little smile. “I saw no need to wait for you.”
He looked ready to spit nails.
A groan from the teamster nearest them drew their attention and they followed his look back to the second wagon.
“That axle broke.” Luke paused long enough to say, “We’ll talk about this later.” He jogged back to the second wagon. He, Warren, and the teamster examined the broken axle.
Buck joined them. There was much waving of arms, then Buck rode back, Luke jogging at his heels.
Luke climbed up beside Donna Grace. “We have no option but to stop here while repairs are made.” Following Buck’s hand signals, he pulled the wagon into place. Warren followed in his wagon, and then the reverend. Even before the other wagons were in place, Luke hopped down and unhitched the mules leading them to grass. At least there was water nearby for the animals. Luke and Warren went to the disabled wagon and began removing the freight. One of the pieces of lumber they had cut at Council Grove provided the spare axle.
Donna Grace picked up Elena then climbed down to join the others in preparing supper.
“If it isn’t one thing, it’s six others,” Luke groused as he worked at unloading the wagon.
“I’ll venture you aren’t talking about the broken axle,” Warren answered, his voice mild.
“That’s not the only thing. Have you forgotten the last two days of rain? The endless mud?”
“Nope, haven’t forgotten, but it isn’t the first time we’ve dealt with all of it. It’s not our first time on this trail.”
His brother’s calm voice did nothing to ease the burning sensation in the pit of Luke’s stomach. “Can’t even have a cup of hot coffee.”
Warren continued. “Seems to me you’re overreacting to things.”
“Huh. I don’t think so.”
“T’wasn’t too long ago you were grinning from ear to ear about that baby girl. What happened? You and Donna Grace have a spat?”
“What makes you say that?” He added a box to the growing stack of goods on the ground. “Sure hope it don’t rain and ruin this stuff.”
“I’m familiar with the signs of an argument between a man and his wife.”
“I suppose you are.” Luke’s voice carried far more vinegar than his brother deserved. He straightened and faced Warren. “Sorry, didn’t mean to take my frustration out on you.”
“Then don’t. What’s going on?”
“She’s so stubborn. Wouldn’t even wait for me to drive the wagon across.”
Warren’s laugh scratched Luke’s nerves in a place they didn’t itch. “Seems that’s something you should be proud of.”
“Proud of? What if the wagon had tipped? And who was looking after the baby?”
Warren brought out another box and set it down without taking a pause. “The wagon didn’t tip and she took care of the baby, didn’t she?”
“I suppose so.” They walked back together.
“Well, little brother, it seems you’re upset because she’s competent and can take care of herself. Maybe you’re afraid she doesn’t need you.”
“Humph. That’s not it at all.”
Neither of them spoke as they each grabbed another crate.
They crossed to the stack of goods. It irked Luke no end that Warren had pinpointed Luke’s irritability. Donna Grace didn’t need him, didn’t even want him, and he was learning more and more how much that hurt. What would Warren say if Luke told him that his marriage to Donna Grace was pretend and temporary?
It might precipitate one of those few occasions when Warren felt a good whopping was in order. Not that he could likely provide it, but he might try.
Luke came at his frustration from a different angle. “You’d think she’d have a little more sense seeing as she just had a baby.”
“Do you mean you wish she wanted you to take care of her instead of her taking care of herself? You need to think that one through, my brother.”
“What’s to think about?” Seemed pretty obvious to him that Donna Grace should allow someone to help her once in a while.
“You can’t always be available. She needs to be able to take care of herself and that baby, even when you’re not around.”
“Are you referring to Ellen? She didn’t have a chance, and I should have been there to protect her.”
“Maybe someday you will stop carrying all the blame for what happened to her. No one could have guessed those men would come back.”
“Humph.” They continued to empty the wagon as they talked.
Warren paused to wipe his brow. “Guess I don’t have to tell you that there are no guarantees of forever. All I can say, little brother, is make the most of every moment you have.” And he strode away.
Luke stared after him. Make the most of every moment. For Luke that was the space of a few weeks. Hardly counted.
He and Warren and the teamsters stopped when Judith called out for supper.
Luke could hardly wait to partake of a hot meal. But as he joined the others, his appetite fled.
Donna Grace had some kind of sling around her body that cradled the baby against her and she held the coffee pot, ready to fill their cups.
“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice left no doubt as to what he thought of her being up and about.
“Unless I am mistaken, I am offering you coffee. Yes or no?”
“No. And I don’t mean coffee. You have a newborn baby. Shouldn’t she come first?”
Donna Grace filled his cup. She hovered with the hot liquid about ready to spill over to his hand.
He would not back away, not from the coffee, and not from his intent to make her realize she should be reasonable.
She slowly stopped pouring, but the look she gave him had the power to peel back skin.
His cup full to the point of overflowing, he turned away, and saw that every pair of eyes watched him. Everyone lowered their gaze as he looked at them.
All except Judith and Warren. In each of their eyes he saw shock and warning.
They simply didn’t understand how stubborn this woman was being.
Why did he care what they thought? All that mattered was making Donna Grace see that she couldn’t—
What was it he didn’t want her to do?
He didn’t have an answer to his own question, which did nothing to ease the tangled web of his thoughts.
Knowing he acted ungraciously, yet powerless to stop the churn of his emotions, he ate his meal in sullen silence than stalked back to the wagon awaiting repairs. He built a fire to provide light.
Warren and several of their teamsters trotted over to join them.
The dog sat on its haunches watching and perhaps guarding them. No wolves or other wild animals could sneak up without the dog warning them.
With a grunt, Luke helped ease off the wheel.
The dog growled. The fur along his spine stood at prickly attention.
Luke looked the direction the dog indicated just in time to see the tall stranger slip away. The man and his traveling companion had joined the wagon train the day after the baby was born. Luke knew they were the same pair that had followed him at a distance as he rejoined the wagon train. The tall man was the same one who had come to the river at Council Grove when he and Donna Grace were there. A few too many chance encounters for Luke’s peace of mind, and yet, apart from the man’s skulking around, Luke had no real reason to object to the pair joining them. They’d paid the passage money, and unless they broke one of the rules, they were entitled to the protection the wagon train offered.
The man disappeared into the darkness and Luke turned his attention back to the task, hoping they would finish in time for them all to grab an hour or two of sleep.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a good night’s sleep and the lack was making him short-tempered.
Was it the only reason for his current attitude?
It was the only one he was prepared to admit to.
12
Donna Grace lay awake listening to the muted sounds of men grunting, the pounding of hammer on wood, and the occasional shout as the men worked on the broken wagon. The light of their campfire threw shifting shadows against the canvas. The oxen shuffled about and the mules stomped. She should be sleeping, but the strain between herself and Luke made it impossible.
All she wanted was to do her share so he would have no reason to consider her presence an inconvenience, or worse, a problem. And yet every time she did anything, he objected. She understood he fought his own memories, dealt with guilt at Ellen’s horrible death and the unfair remarks of Ellen’s father.
But understanding did not make it any easier. The thought of several weeks of being at cross purposes with Luke did not sit well with her.
Sleep held her in its arms for a short time and then Elena wakened to be fed. Not wanting the baby’s fussing to disturb the others, Donna Grace quickly pulled Elena to her breast where she suckled hungrily, her contented little sounds making Donna Grace smile.
The baby had eaten and gone back to sleep when she heard Luke and Warren return to the camp. Luke groaned as he stretched out beneath the wagon. Soon his snores indicated he slept.
Donna Grace smiled, glad he would get a few hours of sleep. The poor man was exhausted.
Elena wakened her in the dark and nursed again. Before the baby finished, someone lit the fire and Luke grunted as he pulled on his boots. Donna Grace quickly slipped from the wagon, leaving Elena to sleep. Warren and Luke had left. A fire flared at the wagon they’d worked on into the night, and then the men led the oxen into place. Donna Grace released her pent-up breath as she realized the wagon was repaired and ready to go.
Several of the freighters had trouble with their oxen and the yelling grew loud, the cursing colorful.
Mrs. Shepton rolled her eyes. “Someone should tell them there’s a little girl hearing everything they say.”
“I heard it all before,” Polly said, with an air of dismissal. “But Uncle says if he ever hears one single word like that from my mouth he’ll wash it out with soap.” She shuddered. “I tasted some soap to see how bad it was and it’s really bad. Besides, like Uncle says, my mama and papa would be very sad if I talked like that.”
Chuckling to herself at the child’s sweet wisdom, Donna Grace helped prepare a big breakfast. They’d made stacks of biscuits last night and had put more beans to cook. Mrs. Shepton cooked a huge pot of potatoes. Donna Grace made a large amount of dried apple cobbler—enough for them to enjoy it hot for break
fast and cold for the noon meal. Mary Mae fried up enough bacon to do them a couple of meals and Judith made corn dodgers. The men were going to eat well today, and they deserved it. Perhaps between a few hours’ sleep, having the wagon repaired and a filling meal, Luke would be in a better mood today.
“Is breakfast ready?” Polly asked. “Can I call the men?”
“You sure can.” Mary Mae smiled as the eager child ran toward her uncle calling, “Breakfast. Come and get it before it goes to the pigs.”
Donna Grace laughed. “I don’t recall us having any pigs.”
Polly returned in time to hear Donna Grace’s remark. “That’s what my mama always said.”
“Then I’d say it’s a perfect way to call the men in for breakfast,” Mary Mae gave the little girl a hug to accompany her words.
The men rushed in, brushing dried mud off their pants before they reached the campfire. They paused for Reverend Shepton to offer a prayer of gratitude, both for warm food, and dry weather.
The men all held out coffee cups and took plates piled high with food. Donna Grace made certain she handed Luke his plate and gave him what she hoped was a conciliatory smile. She did not want the strain between them to continue.
His gaze lingered on hers for a heartbeat and he smiled though it didn’t reach his eyes. It was a beginning. The food on his plate disappeared quickly. “Is there enough for seconds?”
Donna Grace refilled his plate. “We made lots knowing how hungry everyone would be.”
“Where’s the baby?” he asked.
“Asleep in the wagon. I’ll hear her if she stirs.”
He nodded but his attention was already back on the food. His cleaned his plate and pushed to his feet. “I’ll get the mules as soon as I help with that team.” He nodded toward a teamster who hadn’t been able to get his oxen into place.
It didn’t take long to put away the breakfast things. Donna Grace looked to where she’d last seen Luke. The oxen were yoked and ready to go. Her gaze went further afield. There was Luke herding in the mules. All except one. She’d noticed this one before, how it often balked at the harness and nipped at the others. Now it ran past the wagon and headed for a clump of grass and stood with its head down, munching away as if it hadn’t had plenty of time to fill its belly.
