by Linda Ford
“Listen for the baby,” Donna Grace said to Mary Mae.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to bring in that stubborn mule while Luke brings in the others.” She pointed to him, as he came toward the camp. One of the freighters walked with him, and they were in such a deep conversation she doubted he had noticed the missing mule.
“You’re sure about this?” Mary Mae had always been far more cautious than Donna Grace, which probably explained why Grandfather didn’t accuse her of being more trouble than she was worth.
“I can handle one animal.” She grabbed a length of rope from the side of the wagon and marched toward the mule.
The crazy critter gave Donna Grace one look and returned to nibbling grass as unconcerned as if a mouse walked toward it.
“I am no mouse, as you will soon discover.” She approached slowly, murmuring softly. “No point in you making things difficult for anyone. Luke has had quite enough to deal with the last few days.”
She looped the rope as Papa had taught her and held it out ready to drop around the mule’s head.
With a speed that would have served the animal well in a different circumstance, such as being chased by wolves, the mule turned about.
Donna Grace saw the intent. “You evil creature.” She back-stepped to avoid the oncoming kick. Hooves flew past her face as the mule gave a mocking bray. Her heel caught on a clump of grass and she fell to her back with a bone-jarring thud.
Polly screamed.
Mary Mae yelled, “Donna Grace.”
Donna Grace could neither answer nor move. Her air had been knocked clean out of her and she could not get it back.
The mule brayed again and trotted away.
Footsteps thudded toward Donna Grace.
Luke knelt beside her. He slipped his arm under her shoulders. “Are you okay?” He touched her face. “Where did he kick you?”
She pawed at his arm, frantic for air.
His eyes narrowed and then he nodded, understanding her problem. “Take a deep breath.”
As if she could!
He sat her up, leaned her forward and rubbed her back. “Use your stomach muscles to fill your lungs.”
Was he referring to the muscles that had recently stretched so far with the weight of a baby that they were now flabby, and totally useless? But thinking about it made her able to suck in air. She took several deep breaths before she felt normal again. “I’m fine now.”
He sat beside her, their faces close enough that she saw the little white lines fanning out from his eyes and the dark streak through his brown irises.
“Where did you get kicked?”
“I didn’t. I saw it coming and backed away. I simply fell hard.”
“You’re sure?”
“I think I’d know.”
“I saw his hooves come up and—” The way he sucked in air one would think he’d had his breath knocked out.
“Why?” he demanded in a voice full of fury. “Are you out here trying to corral the craziest, most dangerous mule in all of New Mexico, and maybe even further afield.” He spat out each word.
Inside, she shivered at his anger, but outwardly, she faced him with complete calm. “I thought I’d help.”
“Maybe you should stop trying to help.”
“And do what? Sit around and be nothing but a nuisance.” She scrambled to her feet. No way would she rub at the bruise on her bottom. Any more than she would let him know that his words had hurt her deeply. He made it obvious her help was a nuisance to him.
He was on his feet before she took a step and stood right before her so she couldn’t move. “You’d be more help if you stayed at the campfire and took care of the baby.”
“How dare you? I have not neglected Elena for one moment and I never will.” She pushed past him and hurried to the camp. So much for easing things between them. Instead, she’d succeeded in making them worse.
Mary Mae grabbed her arms when she prepared to steam past. “Are you okay? I thought for sure you were going to be killed.” Mary Mae choked back a sob.
Donna Grace hugged her sister. “I’m fine. Takes a lot to kill someone like me.”
Mary Mae’s laugh was without amusement.
Without meeting the looks of the others, not wanting to know if they judged her for being foolish, a nuisance, or whatever they might choose to think, she went to the back of the wagon and climbed in. Elena slept peacefully, but nevertheless, Donna Grace scooped her up and held her tight to her chest.
She faced out the back as Luke harnessed the mules and climbed to the seat. He hesitated a moment before he flicked the reins, but she did not move, even though she was just a tiny bit curious to see if he looked toward her.
Elena thought she should be fed if she was awake, so Donna Grace nursed the baby. She tried to ignore her confused feelings, but they would not go away.
All she wanted to do was help and everything she did ended up causing problems. Just as Grandfather Ramos said. But to be told she neglected the baby, well, that was going too far.
“Donna Grace.” Luke called her name softly.
Stubbornly, she stared out the back.
“I know you can hear me.” A beat of waiting. She did not respond. “I wish we weren’t always fighting.”
She kept her response inside her. But the words did no good if she kept them to herself, so with a shaky voice she spoke them aloud wondering if he heard her. “Don’t treat me like I’m useless or a nuisance, but most of all never suggest I would neglect Elena.”
“I don’t think you are a nuisance and I certainly don’t think you are useless. Never have. Never will. Any more than I think you would neglect the baby, but when—” His voice broke. “When I saw Old Achilles kicking and you go down… Donna Grace you have no idea how scared I was. I expected to see you all broken to pieces or worse.”
Her heart melted as she realized what he expected to see—a scene similar to when he’d found Ellen. She edged forward and pressed her hand to his arm. “Luke, I am so sorry. I know now that it must have reminded you of Ellen. I never thought of it that way.”
He nodded. “Truth is, I wasn’t even thinking of Ellen.” His gaze hit hers with a force it left her speechless. His look went on and on searching out and filling empty places that, until now, she’d been unaware of.
A teamster snapped a whip. The sound jerked her away from the long journey into her soul.
Her cheeks burned. What had just happened? She was at a loss to explain it and sought for a way to erase her uneasiness. She stared at the mules. “Old Achilles? Really?”
Luke could have let Donna Grace believe he thought of Ellen when he saw the mule kick at her. But his first and only thought had been he would find her battered beyond recognition and hold her as she bled. Yes, it was much like what he’d gone through with Ellen. But this time it was different. And that left him fighting a war with himself. He couldn’t grow too fond of Donna Grace, though he couldn’t remember his reasons, apart from his promise to let her go when they reached Santa Fe. That was the fact of their relationship, but somehow knowing it and feeling it as he looked deep into her eyes were two distinctly different things.
He was grateful she’d looked away and asked about Old Achilles, and he chuckled a little though he wondered if it sounded as forced as it felt. “You remember the naturalist?”
“I think you’ve mentioned him a time or two.”
Her wry sense of humor pleased him and his laugh was genuine. “I suppose I should call him by his name.”
“Seems like, after all this time, a proper introduction would be in order.”
His smile went clear to the pit of his stomach. “Mrs. Russell, allow me to introduce you to Mr. Dusty Leaf.”
Her eyes widened. Her mouth opened and closed without a word coming out.
His laugh began deep in his chest and rumbled upwards.
“You are surely joshing me.”
“Nope. He once told me his real name
was Darwin Leaf but some classmates started calling him Dusty Leaf as a joke, and he liked it so much he went by that name ever after.”
Her grin widened her mouth and sparkled from her eyes. “I like that. He sounds like a nice fellow.”
“He was excellent company.” Almost as good as Donna Grace, but he was wise enough not to say that aloud.
“So he named the mule?”
“Yup. He said it referred to a weak spot on the body that gave a person grief.” He touched the back of his heel. “He told a little story about a Greek hero called Achilles who was dipped into a special river to make him be strong.” He’d forgotten most of the details Dusty had told him and struggled to complete the story. “His mother held him by the heels, so they never touched the water and so that became his weakness.”
“So that mule is a weakness? I don’t understand.”
“Let’s just say the animal tends to bring out the worst in me.”
As soon as she understood his meaning, she had a good laugh. Her amusement ended abruptly. “Am I also an Achilles heel to you?”
He understood her need for reassurance, but he wasn’t sure how to provide it. “Donna Grace, if I worry about some of the things you do, it isn’t because you’re a nuisance, it’s because I don’t want you hurt.”
She studied her hands in her lap. “I’ll try to remember that.”
Elena fussed and Donna Grace went back to tend her.
Luke wished he could find a way to convince her she wasn’t a bother. But perhaps he would always fall short of what she needed.
She had told him to stop seeing himself as a failure. Was that even possible? He shifted his thoughts to how she’d laughed at his confession that the mule brought out the worst in him.
And Donna Grace? So far she hadn’t brought out the best, but she made him wish it would happen.
They journeyed onward. Luke hunkered down in his thoughts as Donna Grace fed the baby. Elena fussed a little and Donna Grace hummed.
He recognized the tune as the hymn he’d taught her and softly sang along until Donna Grace whispered, “She’s asleep.” She settled the baby on a pad in the hollow of a trunk tray then eased forward to rest her forearms on the back of the bench. She was close enough he could admire the smoothness of her skin and see her dark and thick eyelashes. Not that he hadn’t noticed before, nor had he failed to note that Elena had inherited those eyelashes.
“Clever way to keep her safe.”
“Thanks. But that’s my job, isn’t it? To keep her safe.”
“And mine as long as we’re together.”
They both fell silent. It would be difficult to relinquish his protectiveness when they reached Santa Fe.
One thing stayed in Donna Grace’s mind. He hadn’t thought of Ellen as he rushed to her side when he thought the mule had kicked her.
She told herself it meant nothing, but her heart refused to listen. The trouble was, she wasn’t sure what to think. Finally, she gave up trying to reason it out. Better to continue as they had started, as they had agreed things would be.
Their noon break was short, as Buck wanted to make up for lost time. The animals grazed and the men rested and then they were on their way.
Donna Grace opted to sit beside Luke, the baby in her arms as they continued throughout the afternoon. When feeding time came, she wasn’t sure what to do. She did not want to nurse the baby in front of a man. Yes, he was her husband, but in name only. She solved the problem by covering up with a thin blanket. The blanket slipped. She grabbed it. “If you stop, I can climb in back.”
“I am your husband. I think it’s acceptable to nurse the baby with me at your side.”
What was she supposed to say to that? Point out that he wasn’t really her husband? Confess that this whole business made her uncomfortable?
Elena wailed her distress at the delay and flailed her hands about.
“Feed the poor little mite,” Luke said.
Seems she had no other choice and she struggled to keep the blanket in place while getting Elena to her breast. Finally it all came together. Donna Grace’s cheeks burned at the suckling sounds from the baby. “She’s rather a noisy eater.”
Luke chuckled. “I think she’s enjoying herself.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Relax, Donna Grace; we’ll soon learn to be comfortable with this whole process.”
“I hope so.” She wanted to explain she didn’t know how to view Luke.
Before she could find the right words, Buck rode up. “There’s buffalo off to the north. We’re going to take a hunting party out to get fresh meat. Make camp early so the meat can be dealt with.” He rode away, four men riding in his trail.
Luke’s gaze followed them out of sight.
“Are you wanting to go with them?” Donna Grace asked. “If so, I can drive the wagon. You know I can.”
“I’m sure they don’t need my help.”
And I do, she silently added, but found she didn’t mind the thought as much as she likely should.
By the time they stopped for supper, Buck and his crew had returned with meat and distributed some to each camp. The women set to work cutting much of it into strips to hang by the fire to dry. Several hunks were put to roast. A large stew simmered for the evening meal, filling the air with delicious scents.
It would be a treat to have something besides salt-cured meat.
Donna Grace heard Elena fussing in the wagon and went to nurse her. The baby finished and smacked her lips contentedly just as the men came in for their meal. Donna Grace needed to help with last minute things, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do with Elena.
She marched up to Luke. “Sit down.”
Too startled to argue, he did so.
“It’s time for you to hold the baby.” She placed Elena in Luke’s arms.
Luke opened his mouth to protest, but Donna Grace moved away. The baby snuffled, drawing Luke’s attention. Elena opened her eyes and looked up at Luke. Luke smiled and touched the little fingers.
“How can anything so tiny, be so complete?”
Elena pursed her lips as if considering his question.
Luke chuckled.
Donna Grace knew Elena had won Luke’s heart. It would be well to have a loyal, protective father figure for the rest of the journey.
She turned away. And then she would have to be both father and mother to Elena. Against her better judgment, she again watched them. Could she replace the adoration in Luke’s face? Could she teach Elena how to measure a man by judging him against Luke?
She sank to the ground as if exhausted and Judith rushed over with a cup of tea. But it wasn’t fatigue that weakened her knees. It was the glimpse of a future without Luke in it.
Pulling her determination into place, she reminded herself of the folly of expecting a man to want to stay with her forever.
Even a man like Luke? She had to tell herself yes, even a man like Luke.
The meal was ready and their little group gathered around to enjoy the succulent stew.
Eating with the others and listening to their news, went a long way toward making Donna Grace feel like things were back to normal. Except for one big change—Elena Rose’s presence. Donna Grace had taken the baby so Luke could eat.
Mary Mae had eaten her meal in a rush. “I’ll hold her now.”
Donna Grace handed over her little daughter. She sat beside Luke and ate. She had finished, and was about to take the baby back, when Judith set her plate aside.
“As another aunt, I’d like a chance to get to know little Elena.”
Mary Mae kissed Elena goodbye and handed her to Judith.
“Hello, wee one. I am your Auntie Judith. It’s a pleasure to hold you and tell you how special you are.”
An extra-large dose of sweetness filled Donna Grace’s heart at the love being heaped upon Elena.
After a bit, Mrs. Shepton begged for a chance to hold the baby she’d helped bring into the world. Polly hovered nearby until Mary Mae asked if she want
ed to hold the baby.
“Oh yes, more than anything.” So Polly held her under Mary Mae’s care.
Donna Grace smiled. One thing she didn’t have to worry about was having someone to take the baby when she needed help. In fact, Elena might become quite spoiled, but Donna Grace was okay with that. She didn’t think a baby could get too much love.
Luke sat beside Donna Grace. “Do you think I might be allowed to hold Elena again? After all, I am her father.”
Mary Mae lifted the baby into Luke’s arms. He cradled her on his drawn-up knees so they looked at each other.
“Elena Rose, you are a very special little girl. I know everyone else has already told you that, but now it’s my turn. You will always have a spot all your own in my heart and I will do everything in my power to make sure you have a good life.” Luke’s voice grew husky.
Donna Grace’s throat tightened. He made it sound like he meant to have a permanent part in her daughter’s life. Would he be wanting to visit on occasion? Be involved in decisions regarding the child? Donna Grace wished she knew. Or did she? Perhaps it was best to accept his sweet regard for little Elena for the duration of the trip.
A harmonica played from the freighters camp. A familiar tune that stirred memories.
“Mary Mae, do you recall that tune? Papa taught us the song when we were on this trail with him.” She listened for the note and then began to sing, “Buffalo Gals, won’t you come out tonight?”
Mary Mae joined her in perfect harmony. The mouth organ accompanied them.
When the song ended, both camps clapped.
“Mighty fine singing,” the man with the mouth organ called. “I could play you some more tunes.”
“More,” called the freighters. “Give us more.”
“Please do,” Luke murmured. “That was lovely.”
