Ultimate Vengeance (Wanted Men Book 4)

by Nancy Haviland

  Speaking of eating. While Alekzander had spent that time in the nursery, Sacha had pumped but could once again feel the firmness of her breasts and knew she would have to do so again. Or feed the baby. Angela must have given her formula earlier for her not to be fussing yet.

  “Make a list and I’ll have Yana get everything you need in the morning.”

  “Yana is still with Vasily?” She’d always loved sitting in the kitchen talking with the older Russian lady. “Um, do you think she would mind if I shopped with her. I have been making Lekzi’s food since she started on solids, so I am familiar with what works best.”

  “How about you and I will take a trip into town in the morning. What does she eat?”

  As her stomach dipped with pleasure at the thought of shopping with him again, she listed off the meals she commonly made up and began putting supplies back into the diaper bag.

  “Don’t do that,” Alekzander interrupted. “Find a spot…” He looked around and pointed at a bookshelf against the wall. “Over there. Pick a shelf and we can keep some things handy. That way you’re not always running upstairs when you need to change her. I’ll have a small cabinet put in my office, and keep it fully stocked so you can easily replenish.”

  His thoughtfulness and the fact that he was planning ahead left her shaken. This was happening, she thought as she looked around at the type of luxury only the very wealthy could take for granted.

  “You do not have to go to the trouble. I do not mind making the trip upstairs. I can always use the exercise,” she tacked on under her breath, remembering the size of Sydney’s waist. She took a few diapers, a container of wipes, and an extra tube of Vaseline from the bag and placed it on the shelf.

  “You won’t be needing the stairs to get your exercise.”

  Down went the Vaseline. She cursed softly and shivered as she bent and picked it up.

  “Look at me.”

  She turned on straightening when she heard his command and a sweet gurgle right behind her.

  “I want to be honest and let you know there are two things I’m struggling with right now. Would you like to hear what they are?”

  She itched to touch the beginnings of what would be a beard if he let it go any longer but instead took Lekzi’s hand when she grabbed at Sacha’s earring. She couldn’t read Alekzander’s expression at all. “I am not sure,” she said carefully.

  He brought his mouth to hers. His breath was warm; his tongue wet where he leisurely licked at the seam of her lips. Lust exploded inside her, weakening her muscles and readying her to take him.

  “First, I want to lay you down and strip the clothes from this body. I want to get inside you and fuck you for hours and hours until neither of us has the energy to move.”

  She was mortified to realize she was nodding. She didn’t know why she bothered when he’d just witnessed it, but she stilled her head immediately. When a third face joined in on their almost-kiss, Lekzi pressing her open mouth to Sacha’s cheek, she laughed in a nervous burst.

  Alekzander’s smooth chuckle was the equivalent of fingers stroking between her legs. “You can’t get enough of her either, ptichka?”

  Him addressing the baby in Russian—he’d called her little bird—was the sexiest thing Sacha had ever heard.

  “I know the feeling.” He straightened and moved away, taking their kissing birdie with him. “At the same time,” he continued, passing his wide palm over the crown of Lekzi’s head. “I want to kick your beautiful ass out the door and watch you beg for the right to see this precious little thing in my arms. I want to keep her all to myself for sixteen months. Until she’s almost two years old. Can you image the things you’d miss? Can you image how helplessly enraged you’d feel knowing there was no way to get that time or those moments back? That’s where I am. One minute wanting you because I need you like the air I breathe, and the next, wanting you gone because you showed me a side of you I didn’t want to know you had. A vindictive, calculated, deliberately deceitful side you weren’t supposed to have.”

  As guilt withered her heart, he turned to show her his forehead was creased with a confusion of sorts.

  “In my eyes, you were perfect. Flawless. You sat on that pedestal, and I worshiped at your feet. I’m fucking furious you dared step off where I need you to be.”

  She watched the way his big body moved as he prowled the room, no longer looking at her. Why was he being so forthright? It was baffling. She’d assumed he’d want to keep her in the dark regarding a variety of things. His intentions. His feelings. His life. His business. She thought he wanted to have her here because of Lekzi, and maybe for some sex. She hadn’t expected him to open up to her. First at her apartment regarding the explosion, and now.

  He’d made his way around the leather sofas and dark furnishings to stop with a few feet between them. The golden edge of a massive mirror on the far wall made it look as if he was wearing a crown. He’d been well named.

  “I was a better man when I endeavored to be worthy of you,” he floored her by saying. “Now I’m just like everyone else. You should find that disturbing.” He shifted Lekzi to his other side. “But those who should really fear it are the ones who would dare threaten you or my daughter, because if they become my target, they will be shown no mercy.”

  She looked up at him through her lashes, stunned more by the way he’d viewed her than by the shadowed resolve that resonated in his voice when he spoke of protecting them.

  He scrutinized her. “Does that frighten you?”

  It should, but it didn’t. “No. For some reason, it does not.”

  He tipped her face up with a knuckle under her chin and kissed her. “That only proves something I was already aware of; you understand me better than any other woman ever could.”

  Whether he’d intended to make her happy with that statement, she couldn’t be sure. But the result on hearing it had a glow lighting in her chest and a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. She was falling again, and she was too enamored to care.

  TWENTY

  After an interview-like conversation that consisted of Alekzander grilling her about every aspect of her daycare business and the lecture transcript he’d seen from her open Yale course, Sacha once more found herself on the defensive when things took a turn.

  He was frowning at her from where he was now perched on the arm of a comfy looking chair, balancing Lekzi on his knee. She liked the way he kept staring at the baby, as if he was trying to memorize her every feature and expression. Which he probably was.

  “From what I understand, daycare is not cheap. If you have more than a half dozen children, you must earn a comfortable living. Why are you living in squalor? Are these parents taking advantage of you?”

  “I am not living in squalor,” she protested, insulted that he would be so blatantly rude. She waved a hand around the room. “I do not need two sofas, and chairs no one sits on to prove I make a decent living.”

  “You don’t have a chair someone could sit on,” he said, his tone and expression so snobby she just stared. “And that sofa in your barren apartment looks as if it saw its best day about fifteen years ago.”

  Her jaw fell, and then she was slapping her hand down on the back of fancy leather sofa number two. “You do not judge me! You do not know what it has been like living in fear that my ex-Russian-mobster-boyfriend was going to show up and find out I had his baby. I thought I might one day have to run for my life. I saved every penny I could in case that happened.”

  His brow flirted with the hair that had once again fallen over his forehead. “Ex-Russian-mobster-boyfriend?”

  Her hands fisted when she heard the amusement curling through his voice. A teasing humor danced in his pale eyes. “Yes. You goons represent something very scary to us peasants who live in squalor.”

  Lekzi punctuation her mother’s sarcastic remark by yanking on Alekzander’s bowtie that she’d undone.

  “You have no more reason to fear me than this baby does. I’
d take myself out before harming you.”

  Aaand there went her heart. The stupid thing started beating against her chest as if trying to break out so it could go over play with the one it loved.

  “Well, that is very sweet.” She plucked at the soft leather, knowing she’d overreacted because she was embarrassed by her simple, barren apartment. It couldn’t compare with Alekzander’s lifestyle in any way and not come up lacking. “But I was not aware of that this past year so I prepared myself for the worst. And my apartment appeared empty because I had already hidden all of Lekzi’s photos before you arrived. My fragile items I do not display because I do not want the children to break them.”

  “I see. Well, it was clear you hadn’t tampered with her nursery. It was one of the most peaceful, comforting rooms I’ve ever been in. If you could duplicate it here, I’d appreciate that.”

  Sacha was once more rendered speechless. How did he know just what she needed when she needed it? “Okay,” she whispered, her hurt feelings soothed.

  “Were Angela and Steve your first clients?”

  She nodded as Lekzi began to squirm.

  “Have you been to the office? Sheppard’s office?”

  She twirled her rings. “No.”

  “Why not? You used to come to TarMor all the time.”

  She shrugged distractedly, her fingers clenching when Lekzi looked back at her. Sacha wanted to take her but didn’t want to “take her” from Alekzander.

  “Have you met his family? I hear they’re fucked up.”

  “No. I do not know much about them.” She clasped her fingers together and took a half a step toward them. Lekzi was sucking on her fist. She was hungry.

  “So you hadn’t met Vex before?”

  “Who?”

  “Sheppard’s brother.”

  “Oh. Er, no.” Her breasts were beginning to tingle.

  “He’s the president of the Manhattan chapter of a well-known MC.”

  “What is an MC?” Lekzi was noisily sucking now and trying harder to see Sacha.

  “A motorcycle club. Do you remember hearing me talk about the Obsidian Devils?”

  She’d heard the name often enough to be intimidated. “Yes.”

  “So why don’t you know him?”

  “Who? Vex?”

  “You were with Sheppard for months, and he didn’t introduce you to any of his family? Not even Vex? Why?”

  A high-pitched whine had her stepping forward as what he was really asking finally registered. “She is hungry. May I have her? I will feed her and then give her some cereal. Or you can give her the cereal, if you’d like. I do not mean to take her away, but…” Her hands were fluttering, and she could have sworn she saw a softening in Alekzander’s face.

  “Of course. I’m sorry. I was distracted.” He got up and handed her over.

  “You were distracted by nothing.” She took his hand when he went to sit back down. He’d been honest with her. It was time she came clean with him. “I lied, too.”

  His pale eyes went flat. “About something else?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do tell.”

  “I wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me so I pretended Justin and I were romantically involved. What you said when we were dancing was accurate. I was not very convincing when I told you he was my boyfriend, because he is not. He is only a friend. A very close friend who I adore,” she added quickly, figuring she should get it all out at once.

  He was staring at her intently. “Not your boyfriend. Just a friend. Who you adore.”

  She nodded and forced herself not to cower as she waited for the explosion.

  “He’s never seen you naked. Never touched you. Made you come.”

  “Alekzander!” Her face squished up before she could stop it. “No! God, no.” Then she laughed, remembering Justin’s David Beckham comment. “That is not something he has any interest in.”

  “Then he must be gay.”

  “Yes, he is.”

  He gaped at her and barked out a laugh. “Are you fucking with me?”

  “No. And please do not discuss his personal life with anyone. It is not our business.” She put her hand on his chest when it started to rise and fall faster. “I am sorry I lied. I felt I needed the protection of a pretend—”

  He kissed her hard, cutting off her explanation. Grabbing her nape, he did it again, moaning this time. “You little witch.” Another kiss landed on her mouth at the same time as a light swat to her ass. She yelped in surprise which had Lekzi laughing and bouncing as she slapped at them both. “If we were alone, I’d be so tempted to spank this ass. I’d bare it and make you count each swat I landed. Jesus Christ, you zeroed in on my worst goddamn nightmare with that fucking guy.” He stepped back and swiped a hand through his hair, shaking his head as if he was trying to get his bearings. “Okay. Let’s do this. You need to feed her. Come on. I’ll show you how much I appreciate that confession later.” He took her arm and led her from the room. “Holy fuck,” he muttered again before asking, “Do you need to fix a bottle?”

  She tried not to smile. “I do not give her a bottle unless I have no choice.”

  “Privacy it is.”

  They crossed the foyer, and after passing by the curved staircase leading to the second floor, they entered a narrow corridor. Halfway down, he opened the door to his office that Sacha remembered spending some time in.

  “No one enters this room without knocking.”

  “Thank you.” She went over to the loveseat against the wall. Her stomach dropped when he closed the door but remained inside.

  “I’m going to invade your private moment to witness something I’ve yet to see. I hope you don’t mind.”

  She shifted uneasily and then shrugged mentally. It wasn’t as if he’d never seen her breast before. He just hadn’t seen it in the role of udder. What if he became turned off? He’d always been a breast man. What if seeing the primary function for them changed that?

  “I do not mind,” she lied as she looked around. “Would you hand me that cushion, please?” She pointed to a throw pillow on a winged back chair.

  He gave it to her, and she put it on her lap, then laid the baby out. Lekzi immediately started flailing and making a fuss. Sacha laughed.

  “You silly baby,” she murmured. “So theatrical.” Her face felt warm, the routine strangely awkward, as for the first time, she had an audience watch her do what she’d done so often since bringing her daughter home from the hospital.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Alek took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned his ass on the edge of his desk. He knew he was observing Sacha prepare to feed their daughter with an unusual degree of fascination, but he couldn’t help it. As he’d said, he’d yet to see it happen, and felt he needed to.

  She smoothly went through what was clearly a routine, her movements graceful and sure as she maneuvered her clothes and kept the baby secure on the pillow he’d supplied. All the while, a small smile remained on her lips. The flash of her firm abdomen gave him a poke, and naturally, the sight of her bare breast kicked him in the nuts because it was a gorgeous, round globe of nothing-but-beautiful. God, that tight nipple made him want to join his daughter and suck until he was pulling her mother onto his—

  Fuck, he was a nasty bastard.

  He soon forgot about everything but the incredible act he was witnessing. As society continuously tried to instill, Sacha’s breast was much more than something for him to sexualize. He realized it the minute his daughter’s gaping little maw latched on and began pulling. An emotion unlike anything he’d ever felt before shot up his throat. His eyes stung and his fucking nose burned at the innocent beauty of it.

  “Maybe you can sit?” Sacha said quietly. “I feel as if I should charge you an observation fee.”

  He forced himself to chuckle through his tight throat, and he had to clear it a couple of times before he could speak. He went over and sat next to them. He could see now that her breasts were s
lightly bigger than he remembered, which was only natural considering she was producing milk that provided his child with the nutrients that had kept her alive for the first months of her life. Incredible.

  “I’m sorry. I’m finding this weirdly mesmerizing.” He placed his hand on his daughter’s head and swallowed hard when her pale eyes flipped up and met his. And didn’t she get him completely when her lips stretched into a smile? A soft click sounded when it broke the suction and milk ran down the side of her cheek. She immediately forgot about flirting with him and got her grip again.

  “You’ve stolen my heart,” he whispered in Russian as he watched her throat work as she swallowed. Jesus Christ, this tiny human was killing him.

  “She does so very easily.”

  He nodded to acknowledge that. “How is she? As a baby, I mean. From what little I’ve seen, she’s damn near perfect.”

  “Close. She is quite exceptional. She has slept well from the beginning. She is a good eater.” The pride in Sacha’s voice was unmistakable. “In the hospital, they had me feed her shortly after the birth, and she took to it as though she had been feeding for months. The nurses were very impressed.”

  Of course, they were, he thought, suddenly desperate for information. “What else? Tell me about the pregnancy.”

  The pain that flashed in her eyes was stark. It reminded Alek of how she’d looked when she walked into his office that night. But, forever gracious, she pushed past it and answered his question.

  “The first few months were effortless. I would never have known I was having a child had the doctor not told me. There were no drastic changes until I neared week twenty, but even then I was able to manage with clothes that were a few sizes larger than what I normally wore.”

  He nodded, staying in the moment and out of his head. Kept thoughts of Sheppard and when he’d come on the scene buried deep, as he’d been doing for the last while.

  “I eventually appreciated the maternity wear. Particularly in the final weeks,” she was saying. “I was tired more then, being on my feet all day, and carrying around thirty extra pounds.”