A Slither of Hope

by Lisa M Basso

  It must have taken me five minutes to round the corner, but when I did, the pull faded. Marginally. My vision darkened, all color giving way to a very primal black and white. I turned my black eyes on my still breathing priest.

  “If you ever see any of those men again, you run. Close your eyes and never look back. You hear me?” The man, maybe in his fifties, nodded. “Now head to a shelter. You remember nothing except you want a transfer, one far, far away from here.” When he didn’t move, I snarled, “Go!” and watched him run.

  If I wasn’t going to Hell before, I sure was now.

  My body quaked with need. Need to chase him down and finish the job. Need to return to the basement and feel whole once again.

  No. I’d done what I had come here to do. It did nothing to help Rayna or me, but it was the only shot I had.

  Ray.

  I couldn’t go home now. Not with this epic need still humming inside me, begging me to feed, to bond myself with my brothers. I couldn’t trust myself around her yet, and I couldn’t return until I was sure. She was the only thing keeping me grounded.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Rayna

  I dropped the angel bible in my lap for the fourth time today. “It’s here, clear as day: ‘With God’s passing, a governing fifteen were chosen. Angels from different rankings will rule over Heaven and Earth.’ There is no God.”

  The look of disbelief on Lee’s and Gina’s faces shamed me into pulling back some of my pragmatism.

  I was never what you’d call a religious girl. I was never baptized, never went to church, never had religious conversations with my family around the dinner table. Somewhere, deep down inside, I did believe in a higher power. And there was one, now I was sure of it, just not the one Lee and Gina had been expecting.

  “And that’s straight from the angels?” Gina asked, hope dying in her brown eyes.

  “It’s still something,” Lee cooed, squeezing Gina’s shoulder.

  I closed the book and slipped it back beneath my pillow. “Never mind guys. This was a stupid idea.”

  “We came over to take your mind off this stuff,” Lee said, sliding his hand down Gina’s back, rubbing it in small circles. A tiny smile bloomed on her face. They really were cute together. “How about a mini marathon?” He leapt off the bed, returning with his backpack. He pulled out two DVD cases. “Torchwood or Firefly?”

  “That depends.” Gina straightened. “Do we have to start from the beginning? Because I’m halfway through Firefly.”

  I could have been imagining the sheen coating Lee’s eyes behind his new glasses. “You’re the greatest girlfriend ever.” He gave her his goofiest smile.

  She examined her pink polished nails. “I know. I rule.”

  “So this is official?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t ruining the mood, but since they weren’t leaning in for a kiss, I guessed this was as good a time as any to ask.

  “Yep. We’re a couple.” Lee dropped Torchwood back in his backpack and brought Firefly to the DVD player.

  Before the machine could spit out The Transporter, my phone rang. Hope welled inside me. It was Kade; it had to be. Cam’s number came up on the caller ID.

  “Hey,” I said, turning toward the now always-closed drapes.

  “Can you talk?”

  “Of course I can. I’m just here hanging out with Lee and Gina.”

  “I have news.”

  I sighed. News coming from an angel was never good. “What happened now?”

  “Your father.”

  Dad.

  “I’ve just heard from his new Protector. He’s awake.”

  “Awake? I have to go see…”

  I couldn’t go see him. I couldn’t go anywhere.

  “Everything okay?” Gina asked.

  I turned to them, smothering the phone’s receiver into my shirt. “My dad! He’s awake!”

  “That’s great!” They both said at the same time.

  “Jinx, you owe me a Coke,” Lee got out a millisecond before Gina. He kissed her nose.

  I lifted the phone back to my ear, knowing his reply before I even asked the question. “I can’t see him, can I?”

  “Unfortunately not.”

  “Yeah. Didn’t think so. He’s awake though. That’s something. What did the doctors say?”

  “They’re still running tests, but so far he’s doing great. They’re hopeful he’ll make a full recovery.”

  “That’s amazing.” I collapsed in Kade’s chair. “Have you heard from Kade in the last few days?”

  “Of course not.”

  The moment I opened my mouth, I realized how silly that question would be. Of course Kade wouldn’t contact Cam. I just wished I knew where he was. It had been days since he left. And he hadn’t called to check in once. “That’s what I thought. Just figured I’d ask.”

  Lee and Gina turned twin sets of sympathetic eyes toward me. Pity was so much more than I could take right now. I pushed out of Kade’s chair and turned my back on the new couple. Their whispers of concern didn’t get past me.

  “What kind of guy just leaves his girl for so long when she needs him?” Lee said.

  “She wouldn’t have a thing for him if he did this all the time,” Gina rebutted.

  “Cam wouldn’t disappear this way.”

  “I can hear you,” I said over my shoulder.

  “Oh, we know,” Gina added in a normal voice.

  “We do?” Lee asked.

  “There’s…something else,” Cam said.

  “I knew it was too good to be true. What is it?” Cam didn’t answer right away. “That bad?”

  He cleared his throat. “I overheard Elyon on the phone. He has plans to meet with the Governing Fifteen today. They’re going to discuss you.”

  The handful of angels that practically run Heaven and Earth, having a powwow, about me. “That can’t be good.”

  “From what I gather, Elyon will deliver a report and they’re going to vote on what to do with you.”

  “What to do with me?” My voice crested and cracked. “Can they do that? I am still human.”

  “Yeah, you might still be human, but something has prompted them to hold this meeting. Would you have any idea what that might be?”

  The explosive power I unleashed from my wings the day Elyon first showed up… he had warned me something like that might happen. “I don’t know, Cam,” I spat out defensively. “It could be anything.”

  “Whatever the case, it doesn’t change what’s happening.”

  “There has to be something I can do.”

  “Unfortunately not. Elyon didn’t mention it to me before he left. I doubt he’ll fill me in when he returns, either.”

  “When you say, they’re deciding what to do with me, you mean…?”

  “Since Elyon’s involved, I have to assume it means whether you live or die.”

  My body went cold.

  “I’m sorry, Rayna.”

  I sank onto the arm of Kade’s chair. “When do you think we’ll know?” My strong voice failed me, so my mousy one took over.

  “He should be back before morning. I’m holding out hope that if the result is negative, he’ll pull me off protection duty first so our orders won’t be conflicting. If that happens, I’ll let you know right away.”

  I swallowed down a sound of derision in my throat. “Wouldn’t that mean you’d be breaking rank?”

  “Yes. And no. I told you I won’t let anything happen to you. I gave you my word.”

  “I have to go, Cam. Let me know if you hear anything.”

  “I will, but Rayna…I think it would be best if you don’t contact me. Unless it’s an emergency. I’ve told Elyon I don’t know where you’re staying. I don’t want him to know we’ve been talking. As far as he’s aware, we’ve been meeting daily at a neutral location. It makes him question my proficiency but not my loyalty.”

  “I understand. Thanks, Cam.” I hung up the phone and let it fall from my fingers. “I’m pretty wiped. Woul
d it be cool if we called it a day, guys?”

  “What just happened?” Lee asked.

  Not much. Fifty-fifty chance I might die in the next twenty-four hours. No biggie.

  “Nothing new.”

  Lee didn’t look convinced, but Gina ejected the DVD and popped it back into the case. “You want us to come by tomorrow?”

  “Better not. Call me instead.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Lee asked again.

  “Yes. I’m fine. Just tired.”

  At this point I should have been sick of lying, but watching them leave, I knew I had to do it. They were both taking a huge risk coming over here, and while I loved the company, I couldn’t let it go on any longer. It only took one Fallen, or one slip from Cam, and one side would know where I was. No way I would ever let Lee and Gina go down with me.

  I glanced at my phone, lying face down on the floor beside Kade’s chair. I wanted to call him, but whatever he was doing had to be important to keep him away for so long. Either that or he’d had enough of me. Whichever was more accurate, it didn’t really matter. Another call from me wouldn’t make a difference.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Rayna

  Sweat dripped down the back of my neck, between my shoulders, and behind my knees. The nightmares were getting worse. I shielded the sun that broke through the tears in the curtains with my hand, and pushed up to a sitting position. I’d taken to sleeping during the day in the last week, and watching for starry wings at night. It had only been a few hours since I spoke to Cam, but Kade still hadn’t been home and stir crazy was becoming a serious understatement for my penned-in condition.

  Funny how things change when you learn today could be your last.

  I picked up the phone from beside his chair and punched in his number. No answer. Again. “Where is it you go?” I asked his voicemail, then hung up. Sure, Cam checked in with me several times daily, but Cam wasn’t the one I’d become accustomed to—accustomed to? Hell, I was practically Kade’s unwanted, needy girlfriend at this point.

  Whatever. I rolled my eyes and shoved myself out of bed. I’d slept enough today anyway. From my phone I logged in to Lola’s Facebook account and tried to send Laylah another private message. A Message Send Failure box popped up. It seemed everyone was barring me from their lives lately. Kade, Laylah, even the hospital refused to give me an update on Dad’s condition over the phone.

  Already on a roll, I opened Kade’s laptop and tried digging online for any information on Mom’s mental hospital stay. I hit twenty different dead ends. No hits came up regarding the name of the institution. The one article I found under Mom’s name only mentioned her death, which I could only read half of before my eyes started to swim.

  Since the laptop was already booted up and ready to go, I found the number for the impound lot in San Jose where Dad’s car should have been. I keyed in the number and listened to the prompts until I was transferred to an operator. “This is my third time calling this week. I’m looking for my car. It’s a beat-up white SUV with—”

  “We still haven’t gotten it in.”

  “Oh.”

  “Look, kid, if it’s not here by now, it probably won’t be recovered. Check back in another week or two though. We may have something then.”

  “Thanks. I’ll do that.” I tossed my phone onto the bed and checked the clock. I might not have a week or two. The way my luck was running, I’d never get a chance to look at Dad’s laptop, never find out who might have had a hand in his accident.

  I closed my eyes. All I could see was Laylah. She’d been the source of every nightmare the last few days. Cam insisted she wasn’t being protected because they didn’t sense a need for it, but he hadn’t done such a great job watching my dad before he was put on officially Protector duty.

  I checked my phone again. If I left now I could at least see her. It was probably my last opportunity to leave here before Elyon got his yes or no answer from the Governing Fifteen. Then, one way or another, I’d be really trapped. I threw on the first clothes I could find, pinned on my wig, and bolted out the door.

  Using some of the skills Kade had taught me, I waited alongside the building across the street from Laylah’s school until someone came out, then swooped in and caught the door before it closed. I walked to the top floor and stood by the window at the end of the hallway. In less than twenty minutes kids started pooling in the schoolyard. My sister was late getting out, as usual. She followed no one’s schedule but her own, much like Mom had. I scanned the cars left in the lot, but didn’t see Aunt Nora’s or Dad’s car. She wasn’t letting Laylah walk home at a time like this, was she?

  After another few minutes chewing the hell out of my nails, I finally spotted Laylah in her patched uniform leaving the main building. “Thank God. The brat’s safe,” I mumbled to myself. A boy trailed behind her, running to catch up. “Who’s this now?” Maybe the boy she’d been dressing differently for? He hugged my sister from behind and leaned in to whisper into her ear. A dull buzz started at my back. As the boy continued to whisper, my wings quivered harder, turning my back into a radioactive tuning fork. He angled his head up, his lips still moving, to look straight at me. Even from this distance his eyes looked hard, cold, and wrong.

  I gasped and backed away from the window. The vibration in my wings cut off, like a master switch had been flipped. With my hands still shaking violently, I inched back toward the window and peeked out. The boy was gone. Laylah was alone, but Aunt Nora’s BMW had pulled into the lot.

  The boy. The whispering. My wings.

  I slid down the wall by the window and sat against the corner. My wings. They only vibrated in crowds. But that wasn’t right, either. Once at the pier with Lee and Gina. Once when that guy pulled me into the alcove and tried to suffocate me. Another time with the man beside Detective Rhodes in the hospital. He’d been whispering, too. And now, here, the boy whispering in Laylah’s ear. Whispering. The man that tried to grab me had spoken in a language that didn’t sound close to human.

  Oh boy. This wasn’t good.

  I dialed Kade’s number and begged him to call me back the second he got my message. Next I tried Cam. He answered on the first ring.

  “Cam, it’s me. Something’s wrong. I need to talk to you. Can we meet?”

  “This isn’t really a good time. How about tonight? There’s a hotel. It’s on Eddy and Larkin. Do you know it?”

  “No, but I can find it. Are you okay? You sound weird.” His voice was jumping around all over the place.

  “It must be the connection. That’s supposed to be my line. You sound jumpy, Rayna. Is everything okay?” He sounded like he was talking through a tin can that was currently going through a shredder.

  “It’s my sister. I think she might be in some serious trouble.”

  “Got it. I’ll look in on her. So tonight, ten o’clock, room one-sixteen. I’ll be waiting.”

  The phone screeched just before he hung up.

  ***

  Looking up at the two-story, nineteen-fifties retro motel, a chill crept over my wings. Every door was painted a different neon color. Pink, purple, blue, and yellow lights shone down from the tall palm trees above, illuminating the courtyard and the oval-shaped swimming pool. The inner rim of the pool was checkered black and white. Several nines—or sixes—had been painted into the bottom and sides of the pool. This place looked like Alice in Wonderland on acid.

  A door on the first floor swung open. Cam appeared in the doorway, gesturing for me to come in with a tilt of his head. He disappeared inside a mere second later. I tried shaking the chill from my wings, but the day had held too many emotions, and the night offered no solace either in its promises or its wind. I glanced around one last time, looking specifically for any brighter-than-usual or too-close stars, a sure sign of Fallen. Satisfied, I followed Cam inside and closed the door behind me.

  The room held one bed, still made, two bedside tables with lamps, and a small sitting area with two
chairs and a glass-topped table. And no Cam. Water ran in the bathroom around the corner, its yellow light illuminating a long rectangle on the gray carpet. I waited as patiently as I could, peeking around the peach curtains of the wall-length window, never once thinking about sitting down. My nerves were too ragged for that.

  The sound of water cut off abruptly and Cam stood in the bathroom doorway, blotting a white towel over his face. Strands of wet blond hair clung to his face. He tossed the towel back into the bathroom over his shoulder. The room was so quiet I heard it hit the floor with a soft plunk. That seemed odd. Then again, I’d been on edge all day; frantic, even.

  He emerged from the bathroom. More shivers had my wings quivering. I ignored the strange feeling, writing it off as the cold still drilling into me.

  “Did you look in on her?” I asked. “Is she okay?”

  “Your sister’s fine. Are you sure you’re okay?” He crossed the room, taking my hands in his.

  My wings twitched, then began to hum. A string of panic worked its way up my shoulders. I shed his touch and turned to leave, the instinct so strong I had to fight it, to remind myself if I was safe with anyone, it was Cam.

  “I don’t know anymore.” My hands shook and tension weighed on my chest. “Something’s happening. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Cam.” I sank onto the bed, refusing to look up.

  Cam sat next to me, so close our legs touched, and he hugged me to him. An embrace so close, so personal, I allowed myself to remember a time when his hugs were the only ones I could stand. When his looks were enough to turn my stomach to jelly. If it weren’t for my wings going haywire behind me, it would feel exactly like our first kiss. Him comforting me, somehow knowing exactly what I had wanted, what I had needed. It seemed so long ago. Cam turned his head and kissed me on the cheek, squeezing me closer. My stomach contracted. Oh God. His feelings for me hadn’t disappeared the way mine had. He hadn’t felt the same clarity I had at his place, before Elyon walked in on us.