Secret Santa (novella)

by Rhian Cahill

  ‘There. That’s the smile you were after I think.’ His own mouth curved upwards and he dipped his head towards hers.

  Jenn didn’t have the sense or the breath to protest. Not that she wanted too. Not really. Her brain might have set itself on the side of this being a bad idea, but her body — her rapidly pounding heart — wanted nothing more than Morgan’s lips on hers.

  He kept it light at first. Just a gentle press of lips. A soft sweep of tongue. Jenn sighed and moved closer. Her hands splayed on his chest then slid upwards until they slipped around his neck and her fingers got tangled in his hair.

  Morgan groaned. His hands moved to her hips, gripped tight and tugged her against him until they were aligned from neck to knee. The hard ridge of his sex pressed into the soft valley of hers and she rocked into him. They both moaned, hers a strangled plea for more, his a tortured cry of restraint.

  While their bodies strained together, Morgan kept the kiss easy, sensual. He didn’t rush. Didn’t push or demand more than she was willing to offer. It was a slow exploration of give and take as they moved ever closer to something dark and delicious.

  Jenn wanted more. Wanted to trail her hands all over his body. Wanted to follow with her mouth. Her tongue. Need grew and her breathing became ragged gasps around searching tongues and sucking lips.

  ‘Jenn.’ He growled her name into her mouth before nipping her bottom lip with his teeth.

  She cried out at the small sting, whimpered when he soothed the throb with his tongue. His hands had moved to cup her butt. Hers clutched at his shoulders, scrabbling for purchase in a moment that was quickly getting out of hand. Tearing her mouth from his, she arched her neck back and pulled drafts of air into her starving lungs. Her chest heaved with each pant while the rush of blood roared in her ears.

  He trailed his lips down her throat, nipped her with his teeth before licking at the shallow dip where her pulse beat double time.

  ‘Morgan.’ She couldn’t stop the pleading tone of her voice. Had no idea what she was asking for.

  ‘Jenn.’ He brought his mouth back to hers. ‘God, I want you so bad.’ He nibbled at her lips. ‘But we have to stop.’

  He sank his teeth into her bottom lip harder — tugged — and sent a shaft of electric heat into her core.

  ‘If we don’t stop…’

  He kissed her then. Drove his tongue between her lips, over her teeth, and stroked hers with a savage game of advance and retreat. His hand gripped her head, his fingers twisting in her hair as he held her still for his pleasure — for hers. Moans and whimpers filled her ears and she couldn’t tell if they were hers or his. Didn’t care. She only wanted more.

  Jenn cried out when he ripped his mouth from hers, panting hard and desperate as he enfolded her in his arms and tucked her head beneath his chin.

  ‘Shit. We have to stop.’ His voice was a rough growl filling her ears and vibrating over her aroused nerves.

  She didn’t want to stop. Couldn’t comprehend why he thought they should. ‘W-why?’

  ‘Because if we don’t, we’re not leaving here today and I promised you a ride.’ ‘I thought that’s what you were giving me?’

  Morgan choked out a laugh. ‘Jesus. That’s not funny.’

  Jenn smiled. ‘I thought it was.’ Her brain was beginning to clear as she slowly regained her senses. ‘Oh God.’ She buried her face against his chest.

  ‘None of that.’ He ran his hand down her back. Up and down. ‘We were in this together.’

  She knew that. Logically. But she’d been denying her attraction to him for so long she couldn’t deflect the guilt and embarrassment bombarding her.

  ‘Jenn?’

  ‘Mmm?’

  ‘We’ll finish this later. First I’m going to make you breakfast and then we’ll go on the bike ride I promised.’ Morgan gave her a final squeeze before pushing her to arm’s length. ‘Do you want to shower here or at your place? You’ll need a change of clothes for our date.’

  Date? What the hell? Since when were they going on a date?

  Morgan couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed a bike ride as much. After a leisurely breakfast on his back patio, they’d headed to Jenn’s so she could shower and change. He’d had to loan her a pair of sweat pants for the ride to her place because there was no way he was letting her on the bike in her dress. He got a shiver just thinking about her straddling his bike with her skirt hiked up around her thighs.

  Traffic had been a little hectic when they first started out, but once they hit the motorway it thinned out. By the time they hit Penrith, he was able to let his mind wander to the woman behind him instead of being solely focused on the road. She’d ridden behind him like she was born to it and he was thrilled to find another thing they could enjoy together. She had her arms wrapped around his waist and he took a moment to enjoy the feel of her so close.

  He grinned as he gave the bike a bit more gas and moved into the fast lane to overtake a truck. Jenn’s whoop of joy could be heard over the roar of the motor adding to the thrill of being out in the fresh air doing something he loved. Her fingers splayed over his belly and he had to concentrate on keeping the blood out of his pants. Besides being uncomfortable to ride the bike with a hard-on, it was stupid to be out of control when in control of two hundred kilograms of throbbing machinery.

  Nothing like the idea of the person you love hurt to shake you down to the bone. Morgan’s breath hitched. Love? He loved Jenn? He rolled the idea around in his mind as the bike rolled over the highway. The thought didn’t send fear through him and if he were honest he’d have to say he’d known deep down this was where he was going. He’d never had to woo a woman before. Most had fallen into his bed and left when he showed them the door.

  This one he wanted to stay. He wanted to take his time and savour the fall. Or savour her fall. Morgan was already at the bottom, but, from where he stood, it sure felt like the top of the world.

  December 26th

  The Date

  Jenn shook out her arms and legs. Her back was sore too and she pressed her hands to the bottom of her spine and rubbed.

  ‘Sore?’ Morgan stepped behind her and began to massage her lower back.

  ‘Mmm, that feels good.’

  He leaned close to her ear and whispered, ‘Is this the only spot that hurts? I’m happy to rub anywhere you need.’

  His warm breath sent a shiver through her. ‘Y-you’re good at that.’

  Morgan chuckled. ‘It’s all that dough making.’ He worked his way up her back until his fingers were digging into the muscles around her neck.

  She bit her lip to stop the moans of pleasure from escaping. He had magic hands and Jenn was finding she had very little resistance where he was concerned. He’d manipulated, tricked, and seduced her into spending time with him over the last three days and she didn’t regret a second of it. And she refused to think about tomorrow. They’d be back at work and their little interlude would be over.

  Straightening, she moved away from his touch and turned to face him. ‘Shall we go?’

  He frowned. ‘Um, sure. The café I told you about is down this way.’

  Morgan grabbed her hand, twining their fingers together in a grip that felt natural, and led her along the footpath to a building that turned out to be a group of shops and a couple of food places. He made his way to the rear of the plaza to a small cafe where a big deck overlooked the breathtaking mountain vista.

  ‘Oh, the view is amazing.’ This time of year heat shimmered above the tree line and the scent of eucalyptus was strong. Jenn could hear birds chirping and the incessant drone of cicadas. It was as close to nature as you could get without actually stepping foot in the wild. ‘Can we sit by the railing?’

  ‘Sure.’ Morgan indicated she should lead the way.

  Once seated Jenn stared out over the mountains and marvelled at the beauty before her. She didn’t get out much. Working six days a week she spent her one day off doing house work or collapsing at ho
me with a book. She’d have to make more of an effort to see the world around her. Driving up to the mountains for the day never would have occurred to her, but now that she’d done it she vowed to make one road trip every month.

  ‘What’s got that smile on your face?’ Morgan’s words drew her gaze back to him.

  ‘I was just thinking I should do this more often.’

  ‘What? Eat out?’ He held the menu in his hand.

  ‘No. Take a day to go explore somewhere I haven’t been before or return to somewhere I liked.’

  ‘Where would you like to go?’

  She thought about it for a moment. ‘The south coast. I haven’t ventured south of Sydney at all and I’d like to see some of the coastal areas down there. I’ve heard the Jervis Bay region is nice.’

  ‘It is. I’ve got a house down at Callala Bay. It sits on the inner curve of Jervis Bay. I’ll take you there one weekend.’

  Jenn blinked. ‘Oh I couldn’t possibly impose on you like that.’ Was he trying to drive her crazy? She may survive this weekend and be able to return to work and pretend nothing had changed, but spending more time with him? No way could she stop her heart from getting entangled if she let herself take him up on his offer.

  Morgan reached across the table and placed his hand over hers. ‘Jenn. Look at me.’

  She hadn’t realised her gaze had lowered to stare at their joined hands until he demanded her attention. Slowly she raised her eyes to meet his.

  ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t push you. But you’re leaving me with little choice.’

  What was he talking about?

  He lifted her hand and wove his fingers through hers. ‘After this morning I thought it would be obvious what I want.’

  Jenn swallowed. He had to be talking about their kiss. She shivered.

  ‘And I’m not talking about sex. I want more than that. Far more.’

  Oh. If he wasn’t after sex, then what? ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘I said this was a date and I meant it. I want to explore this thing between us.’

  ‘But you’re my boss.’

  ‘Beside the point.’

  ‘No it’s not. What happens when you get tired of me?’

  ‘Whoa. Stop right there. Who said I’d get tired of you? What if you get tired of me?’

  She laughed. ‘As if. It doesn’t matter though. You’re still the boss and I’d have to find another job. I love my job.’ Her stomach cramped at the thought of having to leave Morgan’s.

  ‘What if I guarantee that won’t happen.’

  ‘You can’t.’ Did he not see how dangerous this could be? How devastated she’d be if she had to walk away from her life? Because Morgan’s was her life. ‘I can’t.’

  ‘You mean you won’t.’

  She shook her head. ‘I’m the one with everything to lose.’

  He frowned, his eyebrows moving closer together as his forehead wrinkled. ‘You have nothing to lose. I’d never fire you.’

  ’No. But if we got together and it didn’t work out, neither of us would be comfortable working at Morgan’s. You own the place, so I’d be the one forced to leave.’

  ‘You’re not even entertaining the idea that we will work out.’

  Jenn could see and hear his frustration and she wished she could just throw caution to the wind, but she’d lost so much recently, to lose her job, Morgan…her stomach pitched and rolled. She couldn’t do it. ‘I’m sorry.’

  He stared at her for so long Jenn began to squirm in her seat. When he finally looked away she couldn’t decide if she was relieved or disappointed that he hadn’t argued further. Her conflicted emotions only cemented her belief that she’d made the right decision. She couldn’t open herself up to that level of insecurity. Not when she stood to lose everything that had kept her grounded in the last year.

  No. They couldn’t go any further than they already had. It was safer to remain as they were. Work colleagues and nothing more.

  Morgan clenched his jaw, grinding his back teeth together. He could see the fear in Jenn’s eyes, knew she wouldn’t cross the line without a guarantee that everything would work out. And he couldn’t give her one. No matter how much he wanted to assure her, he couldn’t know how things would turn out because he didn’t know how she felt. His feelings were one hundred percent real and solid, but proving that would take time and she wasn’t giving him — them — any.

  He signalled the waitress. They needed a distraction. They’d order lunch and then head down to the lookout. Perhaps take a walk down one of the trails. Anything to take her mind off taking the next step with him. A smile curved his lips and he turned to the waitress as she approached. ‘We’re ready to order.’

  ‘We are?’ Jenn asked.

  ‘Yes. We’re going to both have the house special.’

  ‘I don’t even know what that is.’

  ‘Trust me. You’ll love it.’

  She eyed him for a moment before nodding. ‘I’ll have an orange juice too please.’

  It amazed him that she would put her trust in him for something like ordering lunch or riding behind him on the bike and yet wouldn’t trust he’d take care of her heart. He’d take more care with that than he would anything else. He leaned back and crossed his arms.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You really don’t see it?’

  ‘See what?’ She glanced around them.

  ‘Never mind. Let’s enjoy our lunch then take a walk to the lookout.’ He didn’t fight her when Jenn changed the subject.

  December 27th

  The Kiss Goodnight

  Morgan turned the bike into the driveway of Jenn’s apartment. The streets were deserted. At one in the morning he didn’t expect to see anyone out and about. Not the day after Christmas. Well the day after the day after Christmas. They’d gotten carried away with their hike in the mountains and left it far too late to head back to the bike. By the time they’d walked the last few metres of the trail he was using his phone to light their way.

  He pulled up close to the front doors and cut the engine. All was quiet as he took off his helmet and hung it on the handlebar, but he’d walk her to her door regardless. Trud would slap him upside the head if he didn’t escort his date to the door. Jenn stumbled as she slid of the back of the bike and he whipped around and grabbed her waist to steady her.

  ‘Whoa. Tired?’he asked.

  Her helmet bobbed as she nodded and she mumbled something he couldn’t quiet catch.

  ‘What?’

  She fiddled with the chin strap. It took her a few seconds to get it free, but Morgan was worried her legs wouldn’t hold her yet so didn’t help. ‘Ah, that’s better,’ she said as she pulled her helmet off.

  There were dark smudges under her eyes. ‘You look exhausted. Let’s get you upstairs.’ He swung his leg over the front of the bike and stood beside her.

  ‘Oh, no, that’s okay. I can get there from here.’

  ‘Are you trying to get me into trouble with Trud?’ he asked. Morgan hoped the small dose of guilt would silence her protests.

  ‘Oh.’ She chewed the corner of her bottom lip and the urge to do that for her sliced through him. ‘It’s only one flight up.’

  ‘Doesn’t matter. A gentleman always walks a lady to her door.’

  Jenn rolled her eyes at him. ‘Fine. Walk me to my door.’

  She said it as though it were a chore to have him by her side. He’d have to change her mind about that.

  They headed inside and he noted the security door wasn’t locked. When he gave it a closer look, he discovered the lock was broken. ‘Does the landlord know this is busted?’

  ‘Yep.’ She hit the steps and kept going.

  ‘When are they going to fix it?’

  ‘Who knows? It’s been broken for as long as I’ve lived here.’

  ‘What?’ His voice echoed off the walls and up the stairwell.

  Jenn spun around and glared at him. ‘Shh! You’ll wake the whole building.’
r />   ‘Sorry.’ He rolled his lips between his teeth and joined her on the stairs. ‘I’ll be quiet.’

  They took the rest of the stairs in silence. When she reached the top she turned to the left. Her front door was right there and he realised her apartment faced the street, which explained how she made it downstairs so quickly when he’d picked her up the other day. He waited for her to pull her keys from her pocket and unlock the door. Before she could slip inside, he crowded her against the door frame.

  ‘Thanks for a great day.’ Morgan leaned in close so their faces were almost touching. ‘I’ll see you at work tomorrow?’

  She smiled. ‘You mean today?’

  He chuckled. ‘Well, yeah, today.’

  ‘Yes. I’ll be there.’

  Morgan watched her. Waited to see if she’d make a move, either towards him or away. It didn’t matter which, he just needed to know where she stood. When she didn’t go anywhere, he dipped his head closer still. ‘You know I’m going to kiss you goodnight, right?’

  Jenn’s teeth sank into her bottom lip, the sharp edges worrying the soft flesh as she gave him one small nod.

  He took her mouth then, pressed his lips to hers and sought her surrender. He waited for her to open to him. She didn’t disappoint him. Her lips parted on a sigh and her body moulded to his as she wound her arms around his neck. Morgan gripped her waist and tugged her closer. Their tongues tangled, stroking and teasing until their breaths panted in and out and their hands began to roam.

  She was like liquid heat against him. Every part of her burned, branded him with a need and want that filled his groin with throbbing desperation. He’d never wanted a woman like he wanted Jenn. He had to have her. Had to make her see they were good together.

  Morgan knew he could use her desire against her. Knew it wouldn’t take much to get an invitation inside her apartment. Inside her body. But he couldn’t do that to her. He’d manipulated her enough already. If they had any chance of making this work, she had to come to him. She had to make the next step. It wouldn’t stop him from teasing and tempting her though.