Falling for You: A Forbidden Office Romance (Annapolis Harbor Book 5)

by Lea Coll

  Jonah never seemed like a jealous guy to me. He was confident in his abilities; he’d always given credit where it was due. So, I wasn’t sure the reporter’s comment about Jonah being short with reporters was true. I wanted to talk to Jonah. To make sure he was okay.

  Finally, my screen lit up.

  Jonah: Sorry, I’m running late. We’re watching tapes. Can you get another ride home?

  The anxiety about the future I’d felt before I talked to Dylan was back full force. I wouldn’t be the jealous, clingy girlfriend. This was his career. It was important to him, and I’m sure he wanted to prove to the coaches he was determined to come back stronger than ever. I’d never get in the way of that.

  Callie: Of course. No worries.

  My vision blurred as I stared at the words I’d typed. It wasn’t true. I was worried about us, wondering whether our relationship could survive.

  I shouldn’t have gotten in so deep with him. I should have held myself back.

  I pulled up my app, ordering a car. I’d go back to my small apartment in the city. I’d start the process of pushing back my feelings. I’d lower my expectations. That way I wouldn’t get hurt.

  I hated this. The push and pull of a relationship. The worry about whether you were enough or if the person would one day get sick of you and walk away. Being single was so much easier. You didn’t set yourself up for heartache.

  Then there was the saying—without risk, there were no rewards.

  It sounded tempting, amazing even, but I needed a guarantee that things would work out. That the guy wouldn’t walk away.

  Checking the app, the car would be arriving soon. I headed outside to wait. When the small car pulled to the curb, I checked to make sure it matched the description before opening the door to get inside. I wrinkled my nose at the body odor the driver was giving off. I’d gone from a high this morning, lying in Jonah’s arms, to knowing exactly where I stood. Football came first for Jonah when I wanted someone to put me first.

  I knew what I was getting into when I started seeing Jonah. There was a possibility lurking in my mind that he’d get sucked back into his career. I’d let his touch and his sweet words seduce me, making me think we could transcend the stresses of a professional athlete’s schedule and focus. I should have known better.

  The love Reid had for Dylan―she was confident he’d quit if she needed him―was rare. That devotion didn’t exist for me. I was always the one left behind and made to adjust to the new reality.

  I’d focus on Rebel Sports so Reid wouldn’t have to stress about a thing. Then I’d make sure Grandpa was taken care of. People depended on me. I wouldn’t let them down. I was stupid to think I could depend on anyone else but myself.

  I closed my eyes, remembering the warmth I’d felt last night. The feeling that I belonged, that Jonah was mine. It was nice for a moment, but I couldn’t get used to it. Nothing lasted.

  Chapter Twenty

  JONAH

  Walking to my SUV after a draining day at camp, fans yelled out, “Are you going to play again, JT?”

  I opened my mouth to say, as soon as I’m cleared, but another asked, “When are you going to start earning that paycheck?”

  I tensed, the back of my neck aching with tension. I should have taken the team massage therapist up on her offer for a massage, but I hadn’t wanted to miss a meeting. It was the least I could do if I couldn’t run on the field.

  I smiled, but it felt brittle. “I want to get out there as soon as I’m cleared. I’m just as eager as you are.”

  “I bet you are. You’ll be riding that bench until Baltimore releases you.”

  The cold trickle of fear slipped down my spine, but I refused to rise to the bait. I was better than getting down and dirty with some asshole fans. I tried to remember the kids’ faces at Rebel’s opening. That was who I played for, not these guys.

  A security guard approached. “I’ll walk you to your car, sir.”

  “Thanks, Hector.” I made a point to remember everyone’s names.

  When my car door shut behind me, my shoulders relaxed. I threw the SUV in reverse, eager to go home. I had a few hours until I had to do this all over again.

  The fans were unforgiving. The sports commentators acted like I had something to prove. I did, but how could I?

  The uncomfortable reality was no one’s position on the team was guaranteed, especially when on the injured reserve. I couldn’t prove anything except I was devoted to the team and to getting back onto the field. I’d watch every film, attend every meeting, do every single thing the trainer asked of me until I was cleared to play.

  My feet itched to be on the field, running faster than the rookies, catching every pass thrown at me if I had a chance of erasing my last game. I needed to replace the memory of that dropped ball with new ones.

  The fans were fickle. I just needed one big play. Then last year would be forgotten.

  I didn’t want that one play to define the rest of my life. Panic made my throat tighten. If I wasn’t cleared to play, it was unlikely I’d get picked up by another team. My career would end with me dropping the game-winning touchdown pass. Anytime my name came up, there’d be the film of me screwing up. I’d always wonder what if.

  When I pulled into my driveway, I remembered how I was supposed to pick up Callie from work. I’d promised her I would, but that was before I realized I’d need to be a presence at camp. As much as listening to the questions and doubt bothered me, being absent would be worse.

  Chase took me aside at lunch, telling me I needed to be present, the veteran there for his team.

  When Callie’s text came through, I was watching film. The pressure to be at every meeting was intense. I felt bad I’d forgotten my promise, but I’d make it up to her. She’d understand. This was what it was like dating an athlete. My job wasn’t nine to five. It was doing whatever it took.

  I showered, letting the stench of the day dissipate. Tomorrow would be better. I knew what to expect. Sliding into the sheets, Callie’s smell surrounded me. Exhausted, I video-called her before I fell asleep.

  “Hey.” Her face filled my screen.

  I couldn’t tell from her expression whether she was upset.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I’m sorry about today. I didn’t realize how intense it would be.”

  “I got home fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  I shouldn’t have promised her a ride not knowing how the day would go. Now that I was alone, surrounded by her scent on the sheets and the memory of this morning, I wanted to be there for her.

  “I’m sorry. I got caught up. I thought I’d be able to come and go, but Chase thinks I need to be there to support the team.”

  “Of course, you do. I get it.”

  Did she? Or was she placating me?

  “I miss you.”

  Her face softened. “I miss you too.”

  Should I ask for space? Was it fair to date her when I was so consumed by work?

  I yawned, the stress of the day weighing me down.

  “You should get some sleep.”

  “Yeah. I’m exhausted.”

  “Good night, Jonah.” She hung up.

  I should have asked about her day. If anything had come up at work. For the first time in a while, what was happening at Rebel Sports hadn’t crossed my mind.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  CALLIE

  After his call on the first day of camp, I was cautiously optimistic we’d be okay. At the end of that first week, I wasn’t so confident. More often than not, he was too busy or too tired to call or text. I felt like an afterthought.

  Resigned not to depend on him, I handled the tech issues with the website at work. I scheduled nursing home tours that weekend, inviting Dylan along.

  At the first one, I got out of my car when I saw Dylan approaching. “Hey, thanks for coming.”

  “Of course. I’m happy to help.”

  It was nice to have a friend here, but I wished it was Jonah. Re
membering how he’d offered to accompany me, I’d texted to ask if he’d join me, but he said he had a meeting with the wide receivers this morning. I understood the pressure, but at the same time, I hated that he’d forgotten about me so easily.

  We went inside, checking in. Waiting in the lobby for a tour guide, I asked, “How’s Reid doing at camp?”

  “Good. He’s feeling confident going into this season. I think coming out about his speech issues made him more confident overall. He’s playing better than ever.”

  “That’s great.” I was happy for them, but my tone fell flat.

  “How’s Jonah doing?”

  “Good. He’s been pretty busy.” My gaze snagged on the bulletin board by the front desk that outlined activities for the residents.

  “It’s only my first training camp while involved with a player, but it seems like a lot. There’s so much scrutiny by the fans and the press. I bet Jonah’s feeling pressure about when he’ll be cleared to play.” Dylan’s tone was gentle.

  I nodded. “Right.”

  “They get so focused. It’s normal, I promise.”

  The difference was that Dylan and Reid were more established in their relationship, they’d been tested by her car accident and had come out better for it on the other side.

  Jonah and I were new, still in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. I wasn’t sure how many bumps we’d survive. Or if it was worth hanging on for the ride anymore.

  “You’re here to see the facility?” A woman in her thirties approached. She was dressed professionally in a suit.

  “I am. It’s for my grandfather.”

  “Of course. I’ll show you around. Feel free to ask any questions.”

  The place was amazing. Clean and bright. The staff seemed engaged and determined to make the patients’ stay enjoyable.

  As we walked around, my stress eased. I felt better about the idea of moving him. He’d be closer to my work. I could stop by at lunch and when I got off. I felt excited about the possibility.

  “Here’s the brochure with everything you need to make a decision.”

  I skimmed the top sheet as we followed her back to the lobby. My gaze snagged on the price listed at the bottom of the page.

  She paused in the lobby, her smile warm. “What do you think?”

  “It’s great. I’d feel good about placing him here—”

  “What’s holding you back?”

  “Honestly? The price. I’m not sure if this is doable.” Insurance paid eighty percent. It was the other twenty I was worried about.

  She flipped through the pages in my hands. “This is a list of options for you. There are a few assistance programs that might be a possibility.”

  The disappointment was acute. This was why I hadn’t visited any of the locations. It was the financial part that had me panicked. How could I afford the rest of his care and his medications when I needed to pay rent?

  Dylan’s arm wrapped around my shoulder. “We’ll take a look at it and call with any questions.”

  “I’m happy to help. I think your grandfather would be a good fit here.”

  Dylan guided me out. “I’ll look into these places for you.”

  “Would you?” I could do it myself, but help sounded better.

  “Yeah, this is what I do. I find funds for people who need it.”

  “Thanks, Dylan.”

  She paused at my car. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed.” I was light-headed all morning. I thought it was stress, but maybe I was coming down with something.

  “Why don’t you lie down when you get home?”

  “I should.” Exhaustion pulled at me. I wanted nothing more than to cover my head with a blanket and fall asleep.

  She held the paper with the financial assistance information in her hand. “If it’s all right, I’ll take this, research some options, and we can talk about it.”

  The relief was acute. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

  “Of course.” She hugged me quickly. “It’ll be okay.”

  It wasn’t just the financial part. It was the fact that moving Grandpa here was admitting his disease was progressing. It felt out of my control. I hated it.

  I visited Grandpa that afternoon, not expecting to see Jonah. He’d mentioned they were volunteering as a team with a local group of kids.

  I understood his work commitments, but I wished he’d make seeing me a priority at some point. Would I not see him for the duration of the camp? If I’d known that going in, maybe I wouldn’t be so bothered by it. Or if he called me each day, but he didn’t.

  “How is Jonah doing at camp?”

  “He’s focused on getting better.”

  “Is he worried about that rookie?” Grandpa’s voice was rough.

  I pushed his cup over to him, hoping he’d drink. “I think so, but he hasn’t said much to me.”

  He nodded toward the TV where sports news played. “The commentators are trying to make it look like a rivalry.”

  “I haven’t talked to him much since camp started, so I’m not sure.”

  He looked at me. “I thought you two were together?”

  “We are.” Kind of. Or I thought we were.

  “Then why don’t you know more about what’s going on?”

  “He’s really focused on football. I think that crowds out anything else.”

  “He’s young. Football’s important to him. I can understand that.” Grandpa nodded like it was no big deal. Like my heart wasn’t breaking in two.

  “Things were so great when he was working at Rebel Sports. I wasn’t prepared I guess.”

  “It’s an adjustment anytime you start a new job. Why don’t you help him like you did Reid?”

  “Be his personal assistant?” I didn’t like that idea at all.

  Grandpa nodded.

  “That’s not what I want to do. It was a good job when I was in school, but I need something in my field, something I’d be proud of.” I wouldn’t feel great following him around.

  What would I do when our relationship was over? I’d have a front-row seat to women coming onto him. Of course, it was still happening, I just didn’t see it. That made me uneasy too.

  Jonah never had a girlfriend during his career. What if he decided I wasn’t worth it? Maybe he’d decide he wanted one of the groupies instead. They were less trouble. You didn’t have to call them at the end of your day. Not that he was calling me.

  “If you’re not happy, you should talk to him.” This was the grandpa I knew. He saw through the bullshit.

  I looked out the window. “I don’t want to be clingy when he should be focused on football.”

  “Maybe he needs you too but doesn’t know how to ask for help.”

  The idea gave me hope. Was he in over his head? Was he stressed about the rookie? I’d been so wrapped up in feeling left out I hadn’t considered that he might need someone to talk to. He might not even realize it.

  Grandpa turned his attention back to the TV, turning up the volume.

  I paid close attention to when he talked, tucking away his advice to pull out later because I wasn’t sure how long he would have to dole out advice. There would come a time when he wouldn’t remember me at all, when he wouldn’t be coherent.

  I texted Jonah, asking if he’d have time to talk or get together. I didn’t want to be needy, but if we were in a relationship, then we should be able to talk about things. We needed to work out something for the season that made sense. If he wanted to take a step back, then it would be nice to know that so I could move on.

  Surprisingly, Jonah responded right away, saying he could meet me at his house in Southern Maryland later.

  When dinner arrived for Grandpa, I kissed his cheek, saying goodbye.

  Tonight, I’d talk to Jonah. The drive to his home seemed longer by myself. I was exhausted from worrying about Grandpa and the situation with Jonah.

  I could probably swing the nursing home, especially
if Dylan found us some assistance, but I couldn’t afford to move. Rent in the city was cheaper than in the county, plus I’d need the security deposit and first month’s rent. I’d just started paying back my student loans.

  The realization I couldn’t afford more loans struck me in the chest. Even if I was accepted into the MBA program, I probably couldn’t go, not yet. I loved my grandfather, but sometimes I resented having to grow up at such a young age.

  Turning into Jonah’s driveway, I questioned talking to him when I was so upset, especially when I was frustrated with more than just the situation with him.

  I knocked on the door, wondering if I should have gone home.

  Opening the door, he said, “Callie.”

  He looked so good in workout pants, a T-shirt, and bare feet. He held his hand out, pulling me inside into his arms.

  I rested my head against his chest, breathing him in. His arms tightened around me. “I missed this. I missed you.”

  “I did too.” There were so many things I should have asked like, why haven’t you called to check in with me? But I squeezed my eyes shut, enjoying the moment.

  “I didn’t realize how much until now.”

  That comment had my shoulders stiffening. It sounded too much like an out-of-sight, out-of-mind notion. It made me feel forgettable. I pulled away from him.

  “Come here.” I reluctantly took his hand as he led me to a stool in the kitchen. I stood between his legs, a hand on his chest, his heart beating a steady rhythm beneath my fingers.

  His mouth by my hair, he said, “I lost my mind a little this week.”

  I tipped my head back to see his face. “What do you mean?”

  He brushed a hair out of my face. “I got caught up in the hype. The reporters kept asking how I felt about the rookie gunning for my position until I was convinced I was in competition with that guy.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  His lips pressed into a tight line. “My record should speak for itself. I have nothing to prove.”