Real Service
Page 10
Sexual Skills
Remedial Skills:
Have experience giving and receiving manual stimulation, oral sex, and some type of penetrative sex.
Reach orgasm by some reasonable method in under twenty minutes.
Engage in or fantasize about the activities that arouse you without being overwhelmed by guilt or shame.
Be reasonably comfortable with your own body, including being fully nude in front of your lover in good lighting.
Interact comfortably with the bodies of people you are sexually attracted to, including their genitals and sexual fluids.
Understand the basics of birth control (regardless of your sexual orientation) and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.
If you have a history of abuse or sexual trauma, be able to discuss it in general terms with someone you trust.
“Preferred gender” means the gender of the master that the servant is currently in service to, is primarily interested in providing service to, or has the most experience with. Obviously, this distinction is not relevant to all servants.
Basic Skills:
Be experience giving and receiving common sexual activities with your preferred gender. (Oral stimulation, manual stimulation, anal penetration, vaginal penetration, and the use of dildoes, buttplugs, and vibrators.)
If you are bisexual, have some sexual experience with both genders. If not, be open-minded about the possibility of providing limited sexual service to your non-preferred gender.
Be familiar with common SM and fetish activities (spanking, flogging, rope bondage, etc.)
Be skilled at providing sexual service that is not focused on your own pleasure.
Be skilled at receiving sexual pleasure, and able to respond with enthusiasm to most common sexual activities, and a variety of SM/fetish activities.
Be comfortable with the possibility of providing sexual services that seem “dominant” to you.
Be able to tolerate uncomfortable or moderately painful SM activities that you don’t enjoy, without psychological harm.
Be able to accurately assess whether an activity is putting you at risk for serious physical harm.
If you have a history of abuse or sexual trauma, be able to discuss it in detail with someone you trust, and understand how it effects your sexual/romantic relationships, your involvement in SM/fetish activities, and your attitude about people having power over others.
Be very comfortable with your own body, including being looked at by strangers (in a safe environment) when nude or dressed provocatively.
Be very comfortable interacting sexually with strangers in your preferred age range and gender presentation (in a safe environment) and reasonably comfortable interacting with the adults outside of that range.
Be able to dress and groom yourself in a sexually appealing manner.
Advanced Skills:
Be skilled at topping in common SM and fetish activities.
Be able to eroticize and respond enthusiastically to almost any sexual, fetish, or SM activity that is not excessively painful.
Be able to tolerate substantially painful SM activities without psychological harm.
Be able to accurately assess whether an activity is putting you at risk for serious psychological harm.
Be very comfortable interacting sexually with nearly any adult under reasonably safe circumstances, regardless of weight, age, gender, menstruation, disability, race, or any other personal characteristic.
Books, TV, and Movies About Good Service
Lives of servants on historic British estates:
Downton Abbey (TV miniseries)
Upstairs, Downstairs (TV series)
The Duchess of Duke Street (TV series)
The Jeeves and Bertie Wooster book series and TV series - a classic portrayal, even though Joshua objects to Jeeves’ attitude.
Remains of the Day (book and movie)
Gosford Park (movie)
Other historic and fantasy media:
Rome (HBO series) - with good portrayals of several strong, competent body-servants of famous main characters such as Caesar, Cleopatra, etc.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand (TV series) - with many examples of period servants throughout the show.
Lord of the Rings (books and movies) - especially the relationship between Frodo and Sam.
The Batman movies - look for Alfred, the Batman’s batman.
The Sherlock Holmes books and movies - while Watson isn’t exactly a servant, he does exemplify the role of the service-oriented sidekick who serves Holmes out of admiration for his brilliance.
Family Affair (TV series) - for Mr. French
Diary of a Chambermaid (book and movies)
The Addams Family (TV series and movies) - for Lurch and Thing
The Miles Vorkosigan book series
About the Authors
Raven Kaldera is a queer FTM transgendered intersexual shaman. He is the author of too many books to list here, including Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM And The Ordeal Path and Power Circuits: Polyamory In A Power Dynamic. He and his slaveboy Joshua have been teaching and presenting workshops regularly for many years to the BDSM, Neo-Pagan, Sex/Spirituality, transgender, and other communities. ’Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
Joshua Tenpenny is Raven’s Boy, and his devoted assistant, partner, and slave for life. He is a massage therapist, Shiatsu practitioner, and yoga teacher. He is polymorphously perverse, and finds spiritual fulfillment through any kind of worthy service. This is the second book he has co-authored with his master, the first being Dear Raven And Joshua: Questions And Answers About Master/Slave Relationships.