The Life of Anna, Part 3: Embraced

by Marissa Honeycutt

  She was crawling in under the covers when she heard a sound coming from the bathroom. Her heart pounded as she saw a shadow emerge and walk towards her.

  “Alex?” she whispered. Was it his ghost?

  “Nein, Engel,” came the voice from the shadow.

  Kurt walked up to the edge of the bed and caressed her cheek. “I wanted to check and see how you were doing.”

  She gazed up into his eyes and put her hand on his. She moved up onto her knees and pressed her lips to his.

  “Anna,” he groaned and pushed her back onto the bed, kissing her and wrapping his arms around her. “Oh, mein Engel.”

  His kisses felt so good. His touch was incredible.

  “Make love to me, Kurt,” she whispered. And he did.

  She didn’t dream that night.

  Chapter Sixty-Three

  “Good morning, Anna,” Kurt whispered. He held her tightly against his chest, her back to his front, and kissed the back of her head.

  Anna was awake, but she didn’t know if Kurt knew that. The ache in her heart was back. Kurt’s voice was too much like Alex’s. His embrace was too much like Alex’s. She lay in the bed that she and Alex had shared together in his family’s home. Everything reminded her of Alex and she didn’t want to remember him. It hurt too much.

  The pill had worked. She’d felt better, just like Devin had said she would. But now she felt as bad as she did before. She could deal with the pain of life as a dull ache. It was the stabbing pain in the heart that she couldn’t deal with. And that’s what she’d woken up with.

  Maybe she could ask Devin if he had more at the service this morning. She could make it through the day if she had another one of those pills.

  Kurt’s hand slid down to her breast and cupped it gently. That felt good, too. Sex was enough of a distraction as well. Sex and those little white pills. Yeah, she could do that. She pressed her breast into his hand.

  “Yes, Kurt,” she whispered and pressed her ass back against his erection.

  He kissed her neck and then turned her onto her back and kissed her breast. “Such a beautiful sight in the morning,” he murmured.

  *****

  Once Kurt had left to get ready for the service, Anna hit bottom again. There was nothing to distract her with him gone. She dressed in a black dress and heels and then went downstairs to the dining room for breakfast. The other dancers greeted her with warm smiles and hugs. She hadn’t seen many of them yet. It was nice that they had come, but it didn’t make her feel any better.

  She looked at the food and realized she wasn’t hungry. She sighed and walked to the window and looked outside. It was raining again. She leaned her head against the cool glass and closed her eyes.

  “Guten Morgen, Anna.” Wilhelm came and stood next to her. “How are you feeling?”

  Anna sighed. “I don’t like feeling. It hurts.”

  “I can understand that Liebling. Sometimes it seems easier to be numb.”

  Anna nodded.

  “But I am glad you’re talking again. I was worried about you.”

  Anna managed a small smile. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

  She looked up at him and then closed her eyes. Looking at him was looking at Alex. She adored Wilhelm, but being with him was painful. Being here was painful.

  “Devin offered to take me home tomorrow,” she said without thinking.

  “He did?” Wilhelm asked, his voice shaking slightly. “Anna, you are welcome to stay here as long as you would like. You are part of our family. Alex’s death hasn’t changed that.”

  “I know,” she whispered.

  “I would rather you stay for a little while. I...I do not want you going home alone.”

  Being alone sounded rather nice. Nothing to trigger memories, maybe? But Wilhelm was right. If she went home, she’d be in that big empty house full of memories of Alex. And Seth and Tony as well. Which would be worse? Here at least she had people who loved her.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she admitted softly.

  “I will not force you to stay, Anna. But I do ask you to consider it. I love you. My family is your family and they love you. Maybe just...stay until the initial pain is gone.”

  “But what about dancing?” she asked. Dancing had always helped before. Maybe that’s what she needed.

  Wilhelm paused. “I forgot about that. You are close to another performance, correct?”

  She nodded. “Two weeks.” But she had missed many rehearsals. Would Isaak let her perform? It was to be her debut as principal. With Aaron.

  The decisions to be made were starting to overwhelm her. She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to think about anything.

  *****

  People began arriving a little while later. Wilhelm’s brothers arrived first. Friedrich and Klara looked as distraught as Wilhelm and Ilsa.

  Of course. Erich. How could she have forgotten? Her grief over Alex had overshadowed the realization that there were other men that died that day. But all Anna could think about was Alex.

  She stood in the entryway with the rest of the family. She met Seth’s mother and sister, and Tony’s parents, and the other men’s families too. The Elders came as well.

  The power those men radiated was overwhelming, and with so many of them in the room, it was suffocating. They were very polite to Anna. She was introduced to several women that she knew instinctively were Elder-Mistresses. They seemed very nice, but...ethereal. They didn’t seem to understand why Anna was so upset.

  She didn’t even fit in among her “own kind.” What a depressing thought. She felt like she didn’t fit any anywhere.

  “Anna,” Devin said, walking up and kissing her cheek. “How are you doing?”

  She looked at the three men who walked over with him. Father, son and grandson? The older man, probably in his seventies, had gray hair and a gray beard. The younger man was in his early fifties and had black hair sprinkled with silver and a black beard. The youngest man was a few years older than Anna with thick black wavy hair and was clean shaven.

  “I’m all right,” she answered softly. She wanted to ask Devin about the pills, but wanted to wait until he was alone.

  “Anna, this is Vitaly from St. Petersburg, his son, Vlad, and his grandson Peter.”

  Anna looked at Vitaly with hard eyes. He was the reason Alex was gone. She knew she needed to be respectful, but wanted to slap him in his face. Her hands curled into fists and she trembled as she fought within herself.

  “Anna!” Devin said sharply, but quietly.

  “Hello,” she managed to squeak out.

  “I am sorry for your loss, Anna,” Vitaly said in a thick Russian accent. “I had no idea that Alex had so recently married or I wouldn’t have contacted him.”

  Anna pressed her lips together to keep from being rude. Tears stung her eyes and her jaw trembled. “Excuse me,” she said, and turned and walked away.

  She walked to a window and tried to get control of herself. She’d never been so angry before. Devin would be angry, but Anna was beyond caring.

  But if he was angry at her, he wouldn’t give her any more pills. She needed those pills if she was going to make it through the next couple of weeks.

  She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. She needed to calm down and be contrite to pacify Devin. When she was sufficiently calm, she returned humbly to Devin.

  “I’m sorry I was rude, Devin,” she said softly.

  Devin gave her a sympathetic smile. “It’s all right, Anna. I know you’re going through a lot right now. I shouldn’t have introduced you to them. I didn’t think how it would make you feel.”

  Wilhelm came up to the two of them. “Anna, the service will begin in a few minutes. We need to go inside.” He put his arm around Anna’s shoulders and guided her into the crowded hall.

  It was filled with chairs, and most of the chairs were occupied. There were several hundred people in the room. Wilhelm led Anna to the front row and sat her between
Ilsa and Kurt. Kurt took her hand in his and squeezed gently.

  A priest of some sort came to the front and began speaking in German. Kurt interpreted for her, but she didn’t pay any attention. She couldn’t concentrate on anything above the pain in her heart.

  Many people got up and spoke about Alex and the other men. They were held in high esteem by all present, Alex especially. Friedrich spoke about Alex and Erich as children. Isaak spoke about how much Alex loved the ballet and supported it, and loved a certain ballerina. More than one person talked about how happy Alex was being married to Anna. How he had become a better man because of her. Aaron spoke about his friendship and how much Alex had changed Anna and vice versa.

  Anna stared at the floor the entire time with tears streaming down her cheeks. She clutched Alex’s wedding ring in one hand and held Kurt’s hand with the other.

  By the time Wilhelm got up to give the closing remarks, Anna’s heart felt like it had been through a meat grinder several times. She wanted to run away and drown herself in a bath of cold water, just so she could numb her brain and heart. God, would this pain ever end?

  Wilhelm spoke fondly of the men and then thanked everyone for coming. He sat down again in his chair and the priest dismissed everyone, saying there would be refreshments in the back.

  Kurt kissed her temple. “Are you all right?” he asked quietly.

  Anna shook her head. “I need to find Devin.” She needed those pills before she lost it.

  “Devin? Why?” Kurt looked suspicious.

  “I just do.” She stood and looked around the room. He stood in the back of the room talking with Tom. Tommy and Tyler were with them as well. She didn’t want to see Tommy. He was...too nice. But her desire for relief outweighed anything else and she hurried to the back of the room.

  Devin looked at her kindly. “You okay?”

  Anna shook her head and gave him a desperate look. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

  Devin nodded and they walked to the side of the room. “What can I help you with, Baby?”

  Anna chewed her lip for a moment. “Do you...have any more of...what you gave me yesterday?”

  Devin shook his head. “No, not with me. I have one back at my hotel room, but that’s it. It’s difficult to travel with those things.”

  Anna’s shoulders slumped and she hung her head. There would be no relief from her pain.

  “Is it that bad, Anna?”

  She looked back up at him and nodded. “I can’t stand it, Devin. I took it last night and felt so much better. But this morning, I felt terrible again. And all this....” She motioned around the room. “I can’t...deal with it. It hurts!”

  “I don’t think Wilhelm would approve of you taking drugs to help you feel better.”

  Anna thought for a moment. She loved Wilhelm. But being here was too painful. Devin had something to make her feel better. Devin didn’t look like Alex or remind her of Alex.

  “Anna, if you come home with me, I have plenty at home and you can have as much as you want. I have...other things that might help as well.”

  The thought was too tempting. She was too desperate to get rid of the pain. She made her decision. “I’ll come home with you.”

  *****

  Devin smiled, trying to keep himself from looking too satisfied. Anna had done precisely as he knew she would. She didn’t know how to deal with emotional pain. That’s how he made her. He would take her back to the hotel room, fuck her like crazy and promise her a pill when they got on the plane home tomorrow. He really did have a plethora of drugs to offer her. As long as she was coherent when he needed her to be, he didn’t care what she did the rest of the time.

  “I’m so glad, Baby,” he said hugging her. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I don’t want to go to my house,” she said with a desperate look. “I can’t go home.”

  Devin nodded sympathetically. “Why don’t you stay at the Manor for a few days and then we can discuss getting you a new apartment?” If she wanted one. She might be perfectly content to stay at the Manor. Though it was nice to have her in town. Hmm. He would have to think about that.

  Anna nodded, relief already showing in her eyes.

  “When do you want to leave?” Devin asked carefully. He didn’t want to press her.

  “When can we?” she asked.

  “My car is out front, but do you want to leave Wilhelm so quickly?” Devin was pleasantly surprised for her to be willing to go so soon. He didn’t want to stay any longer than he had to. The place annoyed him.

  Anna nodded. “He’s too much like Alex,” she whispered.

  “You need to say good-bye.”

  She nodded and went to find Wilhelm. Devin watched as she spoke to him, tears streaming down her face. Wilhelm looked up at him with narrow eyes and then back at Anna. He cradled her cheek and shook his head, speaking rapidly. But Anna shook her head and backed away. She said something else to him and then walked quickly back to Devin and hugged him.

  Wilhelm gave Devin a pleading look. Devin smiled triumphantly at him and guided Anna out toward the entryway. “I’ll have your things brought to the hotel,” he said as they walked outside.

  He motioned to Tom, who nodded. They had driven out here together with their sons. Anna would have plenty of sex to distract her until they got on the plane in the morning. He just had to warn Tyler to be nice until they were back in the country. Devin wouldn’t risk Anna running away or she might never return to him. Well, at least voluntarily. He preferred her coming to him willingly. It was much easier that way.

  *****

  Anna sat between Tyler and Tommy on the drive back into Frankfurt. She felt guilty for leaving like she did, but the longer she stayed, the more painful it got. She didn’t even say good-bye to Kurt or Aaron. Or even Ilsa. She ran. But soon she would feel better. Devin promised.

  They arrived at a luxury hotel in Frankfurt and Devin took her up to his room. They walked in and after Devin closed the door, he stood behind Anna and kissed her neck.

  “I’ve missed you Baby,” he whispered in her ear, running his hands down her chest to her breasts. “Let me make you feel better.”

  “Please,” Anna whispered and Devin took her into the bedroom.

  *****

  Had she made a mistake by leaving the Gutshaus? Should she not have left Wilhelm? Shouldn’t she at least have said goodbye to the rest of the family?

  Devin was out in the living room, making arrangements for Anna to return home with him. After the rush of sex was gone, she felt as miserable as ever. Added to that was the guilt of leaving people who cared about her. Maybe she shouldn’t have left with Devin. Maybe she should have stayed.

  She rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. She just wanted the pain to be gone.

  Devin came in a few minutes later with a bellboy following him. Anna sat up in bed and held the covers over her breasts. The bellboy grinned at her.

  “Anna, your suitcases are here.”

  The bellboy put her things in the closet, gave her one last look and then left.

  “Get dressed. We’ll have lunch in a bit.”

  “Devin?” Anna asked in a quiet voice. “Do you have that pill?”

  He smiled at her. “I only have one. Do you want it now or do you want it for the flight home?”

  Anna gave him a distraught look. “Only one? Can I have half now and half tomorrow?” A half made her feel good yesterday.

  “It is half. It’s the other half of what I already gave you.”

  Anna looked at her hands. “But you have more at home?”

  Devin smiled tenderly at her. “I have anything you could possibly need back at the Manor.” He sat next to her and smoothed her hair. “I’d rather you wait until tomorrow to take it. I’m sure Tommy would be more than happy to help you feel better.”

  Anna searched his eyes. She didn’t want to wait, but didn’t want to upset Devin either. Otherwise he might not give it to her at all. She nodded reluct
antly.

  “Good girl. Now go shower and get dressed.”

  *****

  Tommy and Tyler both helped her feel better for the rest of the afternoon. After lunch, she went to their room and they spent the rest of the day naked in one of the beds. Tyler was surprisingly gentle with her, though he still liked it a little rough. But she found she didn’t mind too much. Tommy was loving as always.

  She cleaned up for dinner and then Devin kept her with him for the rest of the night. Tom was there for part of the time as well.

  She hadn’t had sex so many times in one day in a very long time. But Devin was right. It kept the pain at bay, and she was grateful for that.

  Chapter Sixty-Four

  Their flight left at 8:30 the next morning, so they had to get up early. Devin told Anna to dress nicely since they were flying first class. She put on her travel suit and presented herself to Devin.

  He pulled her onto his lap and ran his hands up her thighs. He grazed her pussy lips and slipped under her panties to slip his fingers inside her body.

  “Open your mouth,” he said.

  She did and he put the pill on her tongue and handed her a glass of water.

  She swallowed and rested her head on his shoulder as he circled her clit gently. By the time she screamed out her orgasm, the pill had kicked in and she was feeling euphoric. It felt even better this time. She even smiled a bit.

  They were flying home with Tom and Tommy. There was a layover in New York, and they would part ways at that point. Tyler would leave with the Pendletons so he could get back to school.

  Tyler and Tommy were ecstatic about this particular flight. Apparently Singapore Airlines was the airline for first class. They arrived at the airport and, after checking in, they went to the first class lounge to wait for their flight.

  Anna was content. She wasn’t feeling much of anything and was quite happy about that. Soon, Germany would be far behind her, and she had no intention of coming back. Ever. She didn’t want to be reminded of anything having to do with Alex. He was gone. Nothing would bring him back. She just needed to deal with that and move on with her life.