Resisting My Submission

by Jenna Jacob

  But Max would want more than a taste.

  He’d want Samantha’s heart and soul to shape and mold.

  Would that be so bad? He’s strong enough to peel back all those layers and expose what’s in your heart. You know what’s there…waiting for him. Stop ignoring what you truly desire. You’ll forever deny your own happiness if you don’t at least try.

  I swallowed the lump lodged in my throat as I stared into his emerald eyes. I didn’t know if I’d succeed or fail the man. I only knew that he’d protect the sub still haunting the depths inside me.

  The time had come to let go of Desmond, break the chains that kept me bound to the past. Yes, he’d loved me…loved me with every breath in his body, but he was gone and never coming back.

  Max had been right…it would kill Desmond all over again to see me struggling in this paradox of pain and confusion.

  Change was inevitable. I’d survived the horrors of the past, and they’d brought me here, to this crossroads with Max. He was patient to a fault and accepted all the complex parts that didn’t quite align inside me. But most of all, he was the father of my child. I owed him the same honesty and truth he’d always granted me.

  I opened my mouth and drew in a quivering breath, then cast my eyes toward the sand.

  “Yes, Sir,” I softly whispered.

  His entire body tensed. Doubts slowly crawled up my spine. After several interminable, silent seconds, a gust of air exploded from between his lips before Max gripped a strong fist in my hair. His heated breath spilled over my lips as he guided my head back.

  “Look at me, Samantha,” he instructed in a deep and raspy tone.

  A shiver slid through me as I slowly raised my lids and locked eyes with his. The blazing fire of command and need that reflected back at me nearly stole my breath. His Dominant power all but crackled in the air. The submissive inside me rose like a phoenix and spread her wings once again.

  “You have from now until we’re inside your bedroom to decide if you wish to hand your power over to me. That includes asking any questions or giving me a list of your hard limits. Though you won’t need to worry about those right now, I want you to feel free to tell me what feeds your submission. But once we step inside that room, your power is mine until you use the word…mistress. That is your safeword from now on. Is that understood?”

  My whole body trembled. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good girl. Let’s go.”

  With his hand pressed to the small of my back, we hurried from the beach to the car.

  The whole way home, my mind spun like a centrifuge. But there was an unmitigated peace that surrounded me. I was encased in a forgotten white light, poised on the gossamer wings of freedom.

  “I used to like pain,” I whispered. “I’m not sure if I do anymore or not.”

  Max simply nodded. “Are you afraid to surrender to me?”

  “Yes, but I’m not afraid of you.”

  “Good. You’ll never have reason to fear me, Samantha. I promise.” Max darted a solemn expression my way before turning his attention back to the road. “Tell me what you’re scared of.”

  “Of failing…and not failing.”

  “You can’t fail me, Samantha. I already know that in my soul. What do you fear about not failing?”

  “That all this time I’ve been simply playing the role of Domme. That my true nature is and has always been a submissive.”

  “Did you feel like you were pretending when you worked Eli?”

  “No. I was in command and control of him…granting him the serenity he craved.”

  “Yes, you were. As I’ve said before, your Dominance is stunning. I know it nurtured a part of you, but it couldn’t fully fill the needs you’d buried inside you…the ones that were starving for the chance to fall at the feet of a commanding Dominant like yourself, could it?”

  “No,” I murmured.

  “No, Sir,” Max gently reminded.

  “No, Sir.”

  “I’ve seen the whole dog and pony show where Dominants take the stage for the whole world to look at me more times than I can count. You weren’t pretending a thing, pet. You were in control and command of the sub. You simply found the way to satisfy an aching voice within you. And at the end of the day, isn’t that really what we all do—Dom and sub alike—find a way to sate those cravings burning inside us?”

  “Yes. It is, Sir.”

  “I suspect that in a twisted kind of way, you were able to give your inner sub a bit of sustenance.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, you were providing the submissives what they needed. Isn’t that a backhanded form of submission in itself?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “So, you’re saying that you and the other Doms are submi—”

  “Don’t twist my words, girl,” Max warned with a look so fierce I felt my panties grow wet. “I’m talking about what you gained, not me.”

  “So what is it that you gain…Sir?”

  Max smiled when I added the late honorific. “The immensity of combining my power and a sub’s is staggering. The sheer magnitude of trust a sub places in my hands humbles and inspires me. I wield my control by dissecting their psyche with such finite precision they sail off to a magical and peaceful subspace. As they float away, I’m riding my own different wave…Domspace. Have you experienced that, as well?”

  “Somewhat. I’ve experienced a high, but I think it was mostly pride for helping the subs achieve what they needed.”

  “Yes, there’s a bit of that mixed in, as well, but for me, it’s the responsibility of holding all that precious power and control in my hands.”

  Comparing what we each derived as Dominants sent my submissive headspace askew. Like the scales of justice, control weighed far heavier within me now. I couldn’t solve this dilemma riding a roller coaster. Closing my eyes, I shoved aside my Domme perspective and focused on unfurling my submissive wings once more.

  When I opened my eyes, Max was pulling into the driveway. He turned off the engine and turned toward me. During the drive, there had been a palpable change in him, as well. I could feel the force of his Dominance as if it were a living, breathing thing, reaching out to me like a live wire. The air hummed with a familiar, ancient energy, and I welcomed the sensation…let the contentment spill over me like a waterfall.

  As his gaze raked over my flesh, I dipped my chin and lowered my lashes.

  Max stroked my cheek so fragile and tender I wanted to weep. “What do you want, Samantha?”

  “To please you, Sir.”

  His fingers instantly stilled. “You already have, pet.”

  Hastily exiting the car, he jogged to the passenger side before opening my door. He didn’t say a word, simply extended his hand. Not in chivalry but in a silent Dominant invitation. Once I laid my fingers in his palm, I would be placing my power and control into those masterful hands.

  Lifting my arm, my fingers trembled. I sucked in a shallow breath and slid my flesh into his. Once more he pressed his palm to the small of my back as we entered the house. Without a word, he prodded me toward the bedroom and paused just outside the doorway.

  “You’re safe. I won’t let you fall, Samantha,” he whispered in a whiskey-smooth voice. A shiver slithered up my spine, and I gave him a resolute nod. “Good girl.”

  Mentally casting off my fears and insecurities, I could almost feel them fall to the ground before I stepped through the doorway and into my bedroom. Max followed and closed the door behind him. He stood drinking me in with a steady gaze, shoulders squared, legs parted, and hands behind his back.

  Intimidating.

  Regal.

  Commanding.

  He glowed with an imposing sense of strength and power.

  My heart thundered in my chest. My body trembled in anticipation and fear.

  “Strip off your clothes for me, Samantha.”

  His words were forceful. Direct. This was it, the answer to the final question that plagued me. I had to know where
I belonged in the lifestyle. Backing down now wasn’t an option.

  With trembling fingers, I lifted the sundress over my head and let it flutter to the floor. Heat flared in his eyes as he watched me peel off my bra before I slid my thong down my legs. Max raked a stare up and down my naked body. Lust and approval flicked in his eyes, but it was the potent wave of his command that made my pussy weep and ache.

  Long, anxious seconds passed before he lifted his feet from the floor and moved in close. His palpable command grew even more intense, and I ached to fall to my knees before him. Of course, I wouldn’t…couldn’t, not until he issued the command.

  Max bent and pressed his tongue flat against the fluttering pulse point at the base of my throat. My nipples grew stiff and my pussy contracted. I wanted to toss my head back and moan, wrap my hands against his head, and pull his mouth to mine. Instead, I stood inwardly melting from the submissive flames that licked at my soul.

  He lifted from my flesh and threaded his fingers through my hair. Tugging my head back, Max pinned me with a compelling gaze. “Tell me what you need, little one.”

  “To serve you, Sir.”

  “Are you ready to surrender your heart, mind, body, and soul to me, Samantha?”

  “Yes, Sir,” I whispered.

  “Your safe word is mistress, don’t forget.”

  “I won’t,” I promised.

  He drew in a deep breath. His nostrils flared and his chest expanded before he slanted his mouth over mine. His kiss was hungry and feral but only lasted a second before Max pulled back and released my hair. “Hand yourself over to me, sweet girl. Kneel.”

  A burst of lightning exploded inside me…blinding and euphoric. A rush of tranquility, pure and sure, rippled outward and enveloped my limbs.

  With my eyes locked to his, I slowly sank to my knees.

  Floating in clouds of splendor, I was lost…lost in an emotional and spiritual reverie of long ago. While my heart still ached to bow before Desmond, I’d moved past pining for a ghost. Max was in control of me now, and I knew without a single reservation that I was safe, treasured, and protected once more.

  My heart soared as I spread my thighs and rested my hands, palms up, upon them. Drinking in one last look at Max, I lowered my head in reverence and respect to the Dom before me. He began to slowly walk in a circle around me. I could feel his dissecting stare singe over every inch of my naked flesh as he appraised my submissive pose…judged the sincerity of my silent plea to serve him. Chills raced up and down my spine, sending goose bumps to pepper my flesh. It was as if his gaze were conjuring the submissive rebirth churning inside me. I felt raw yet painfully alive, like never before.

  Max paused before squatting down beside me. He placed the tip of his finger between my breasts and slowly dragged his digit up my chest and stroked my throat. His movements hauntingly mimicked those of my dream, stilling the air in my lungs. Gently lifting my chin, Max tilted my head back before bringing the pad of his warm finger to rest on my lips. My back now arched and my breasts thrust toward the sky, I was stretched out in supplication to his every desire.

  The reckoning within wasn’t the cataclysmic pitch and yaw I had expected, but more a gentle shifting on the wind across an open field. Samantha sighed in satisfaction. Like the echoes of a heartbeat, Max’s touch revived the submissive—so fragile and small—who lay curled in the safety and protection of her Master’s palms.

  “You’re fucking beautiful in all your submissive splendor, Samantha.” His praise swept over my soul with a passionate kiss. “Tell me what you’re feeling, my slave.”

  “Free,” I whispered. “Alive again.”

  “Thank fuck,” Max murmured on a heavy sigh. “Drink it in, pet. Savor the peace…let it fill you up and wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.”

  “Oh, I am. It’s wonderful, Sir.” The words rolled past my lips on a breathless, tranquil slide.

  Max flicked the tip of his tongue over my earlobe. “Tell me more, pet,” his whispered words spilled down my neck.

  “I feel calm and small, and so ready to serve you, Sir.”

  “You are, sweet girl. You please me greatly following my instructions and telling me how you feel.”

  A contented smile tugged the corners of my mouth. “Thank you, Sir.”

  “You’re welcome, my treasure. I can smell your cunt…you’re aroused, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, Sir. I ache but it’s a low throb…a needy reminder.”

  “Reminder of what?”

  “That you’ll give me what I earn and not what I want, Sir.”

  “That’s true. I aim to make you earn all the pleasure you could want and more, gorgeous.”

  Demand hammered through me with a potent throb. Max gripped my hair once more and twisted my head back until our faces aligned. “You want me to fuck you hard, don’t you, Samantha?”

  “Yes,” I answered on a mournful plea.

  “Yes? Yes, who?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “You want to suffer for me too, don’t you, precious?”

  Immersed in the placid peace of submission, I’d crawl through fire to please this amazingly powerful man. “Anything for you, Sir.”

  “Mmm,” Max growled. “Yes…I like that. Rise and climb onto the bed. Lie on your back and spread your legs wide for me, Samantha.”

  Every time he whispered my name, a rush of ecstasy sang beneath my flesh. His command sank deeper and deeper into my bones. With his hand still cinched in my hair, I slowly rose to my feet and walked to the bed. Max released me as I climbed into position. I watched as he unbuckled his belt and slid it from the loops of his jeans.

  “I’m going to bind your hands, pet. Remember your safe word.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  I raised my arms above my head and watched as Max looped the leather around my wrists before securing the strap to the brass rungs of the headboard.

  Bound.

  Immobile.

  Tears of absolution and happiness spilled freely. Max brushed them from my cheeks and eased down on the mattress beside me. An almost frantic expression lined his face as he searched my eyes, anxious to gain insight into my tears.

  “Tell me, Samantha…tell me what it feels like, baby.”

  “It’s been so long…” My voice quivered and cracked. “I’m at the mercy of your pleasure…your pain…your benevolence.”

  “Yes, you are. Does that frighten you?”

  “No. I-I finally feel whole again.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Oh, my precious, precious, girl,” Max murmured before claiming my lips with a soul-stealing kiss.

  I gave back my heart, using my mouth to say all the things mere words could not convey…the depth of gratitude, joy, and the completeness he’d brought back to me. With his unyielding command, Max had swept the clouds from the sky and showed me the most brilliant sun. The rays saturated every cell, filling me with a blissful warmth and peace of mind I never expected to find again.

  I didn’t regret my decision to forge Sammie from the ashes of my past, but it was painfully obvious…I had to let her go. The cry to seize my submission was beyond a throbbing or visceral need…it was a merciless demand. There was only one man savage and commanding enough to set me free—Max.

  He tore from my mouth. The ruthless gleam in his eyes set me on fire. Bending once more, he sank his teeth into my bottom lip and gave an animalistic tug.

  “Whose mouth is this?”

  I sucked in a quivering breath. “Yours, Sir.”

  Max smiled and inched down the mattress a bit farther before latching onto one of my pebbled nipples. He flattened the tissue against the roof of his mouth, then nipped and laved the hardened peak. Reaching across my body, he plucked and pinched, showering my other with the attention it needed. On a purring moan, I lifted my shoulders slightly off the bed, offering him all of me.

  “Who do these pretty pert breasts belong to, Samantha?” he asked, twisting the now throbbing tips.
r />   “You…only you, Sir,” I gasped.

  “So, you’re really giving me your body to use as my own personal playground?”

  “As long as I get to play on your jungle gym.” I flashed him a sassy grin.

  “It’s about time.” Max narrowed his eyes, but he gave himself away when the corners of his mouth twitched.

  “About time for what?”

  “For you to start getting mouthy. I knew you’d show your claws eventually, kitten.”

  “I can bring out a lot more than claws if you’d like me to…Sir.”

  “Sweet girl, you can try to unleash anything you want. Just remember, I’ll be the one keeping you in line…and I, too, possess a few not-so-gentle means of persuasion skills.”

  “I can’t wait, Sir.”

  Max softly chuckled. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me, pet. Now hush that sinful mouth of yours before I have to go digging around in your toy bag for a ball gag.”

  A sudden chill cascaded over my skin. Over the years, I’d amassed a lot of toys. Mostly CBT—cock and ball torture—devices that had given hours of painful pleasure to numerous subs. It was going to be a shame to have to give them—

  “Samantha.” His word, harsh and threatening, pulled me from my wayward thoughts. “I don’t want you focused on anything but the sound of my voice. There’ll be time to process the rest later.”

  I flashed him a tentative nod.

  Max cupped my breasts and strummed my nipples as he leveled a commanding stare at me. “Follow your heart, Samantha. What do you desire deep down inside?”

  “To please you, Sir.”

  As the words rolled off my tongue, the tension stringing inside melted away. I sank deeper into the mattress on a blissful sigh. He knew what phrases to say, what questions to ask. Coupled with his husky and compelling voice, Max guided me down that silky path of surrender.

  Climbing between my legs, he spread my thighs wide. His gaze fixed on my weeping sex, and when he lowered his head and dragged his tongue up my wet folds and teased my sensitive clit, I gasped. As he lifted from my core, I bucked and arched. I fought to bite back the curse words blistering my tongue, the leather strap binding my wrists, and the overwhelming urge to take control. I was helpless, at Max’s mercy, and no longer in charge of my destiny. Panic surged and swelled inside, but before I could voice my dread, he drove two fingers into my sweltering core. Homing in on the tingling bundle of nerves hidden deep inside me, Max studied me with a cutting stare.