Resisting My Submission

by Jenna Jacob

  “It’s simply breathtaking…like you.” I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him.

  Bright and early the next morning, the movers loaded up the truck. I said good-bye to my house and my independence. As Max and I drove away, a pang of fear and regret sliced deep. I inhaled a deep breath and searched for my Zen.

  Max reached down and squeezed my hand. “No regrets, pet. You, me, and our baby are going to be happy.”

  The conviction in his voice chased the bulk of my insecurities away.

  Dylan, Nick, and Savannah met us at the new place with bundles of groceries and a case of beer. The day was a whirlwind as we directed movers hauling boxes to the correct rooms. Midmorning a delivery truck arrived, chock full of furniture Max had ordered. A whole new wave of chaos ensued.

  As if sensing my dismay, Sanna pulled me aside. “Why don’t we let the guys deal with the new furniture and you and I go pick up some pizzas so we can feed these beasts?”

  “I say yes. We both could use a break from the pandemonium.”

  After we offered to get lunch, Nick thanked Sanna and kissed her hard before handing her the keys to his truck. Dylan and Max were in a hot debate regarding which direction the kitchen table should face.

  “I bet you money neither one of those two have ever watched HGTV before,” I said with a laugh once Sanna and I were outside.

  “And you didn’t really think that Sir Max picked out all that gorgeous furniture himself, did you?”

  I hadn’t given much thought when the delivery truck arrived. I’d assumed Max was the one responsible for the seemingly never-ending lugging parade ensuing as Sanna and I had left.

  “He didn’t?”

  “Nope.” Sanna smirked as she shook her head.

  “Did you help him?”

  “Me?” She blanched. “No way. Master Dylan hooked him up with an interior designer friend. Next week she’ll have her whole crew crawling through every room of your new house, hanging drapes, pictures, and adding special touches everywhere.”

  “Oh, Max…you sneaky little rat,” I drawled with a laugh.

  Changing topics as she drove, Sanna happily informed me that the subs from Control had reached out to Mika. He’d invited them to attend the weekly sub meetings, which, ironically, were being held that very minute.

  “That’s wonderful. I can’t wait to start hitting the meetings so I can get to know them better.”

  Sanna shot me a look of confusion. “You’re joining the sub meetings? Why?”

  Shit! Shit! Shit! I’d shoved not one but both feet in my mouth.

  “Sorry, Mistress. It’s not my place to ask.”

  “Please, don’t apologize, Sanna. Though I can’t explain right now, things will make sense tonight at the club. If I survive this move, that is.” I laughed softly.

  “Oh, a surprise. I can’t wait.” She grinned. “We’re all so thrilled that you and Sir Max are moving in together. I have to confess, when I first met the man, he intimidated the socks off me. But after he stayed with us a couple days, all that changed. From the outside, he might look like a scary badass, but underneath those tattoos and all those muscles is a kind and generous man. Still, he has that strict Dom vibe like a couple other Masters I know and love.”

  “That he does.” I nodded, anxious to feel Max’s strict Dominance again.

  You’ll be basking in his power forever.

  After returning with the pizzas, we ate and went back to work unpacking boxes. The afternoon whizzed by, and soon we waved good-bye to the helpful trio before preparing for our special night at Genesis.

  Butterflies tore through me in a mass migration.

  “Everything ready for tonight, Samantha?” Max’s eyes twinkled.

  “Yes, Sir. I’m nervous though.”

  “I expect you would be, but do try to relax. I’ll always be right by your side, pet.”

  When I stepped into the enormous shower, I closed my eyes and let the hot water melt my anxiety. Max joined me. We not only christened the spacious stall properly but he effectively wiped all worries from my brain, too.

  Though he’d sated me—and then some—I grew impossibly wet as he watched me primp and dress with a heated stare.

  “The scent of your cunt is intoxicating, pet,” he growled.

  My knees nearly buckled as he helped me climb into his truck. While Max drove toward the club, I sat quietly pondering the evening ahead.

  “Mika phoned while you and Sanna were picking up the pizza. Everything is ready to go. The caterer should already be there setting up the dinner buffet. Oh, and he spoke to Eli. The boy will meet you in your private room in thirty minutes. While you’re talking with him, I’ll fill Dylan in on what’s happening tonight.”

  The reality of what I was about to do slapped me across the face. A part of me wanted to tell Max to turn around and take me home, but that would be caving in to my insecurities.

  My heart knew what it desired; I simply had to direct my head to get on the same page.

  I placed a palm to my stomach.

  So many changes were taking place in my life, and at such breakneck speed, I simply wanted things to slow down so I could take a deep breath.

  Of course, Max read me like he always did and placed his hand over mine before gently squeezing both mother and child.

  I’ll always be right by your side, pet.

  Yes. He would.

  CHAPTER TWELEVE

  Eli took the news better than I’d expected. There were tears, which I’d anticipated, but in the end, he was happy to gain a submissive sister. Still, he was understandably sad to lose me as a Domme.

  A few minutes after he left my room, Max entered wearing a smile so bright it nearly blinded me.

  “Are you doing all right, pet?”

  “Yes, Master, just a bit…I really am trying to calm down. I’m scared and excited.”

  “Scared of what the members are going to think of you?”

  “No. I mean, yes. There’s that, but I just don’t want to stand up there and start bawling. I cry at the drop of a hat these days. I hate it.”

  “I’ve noticed, so I tucked some tissues in my vest, just in case.” Max pulled me to his chest and enveloped me in a warm, reassuring embrace. “You’re stronger than you think you are, baby. You’ll do just fine. If the tears come, I’ll sip them from your cheeks.”

  His promise sent goose bumps to pepper my arms. Drinking in the tears—the tangible sacrifice of a sub—was heady and potent for a Dominant. Knowing that I would be feeding his command filled me with purpose…gave me an even stronger conviction than standing before the members to strip off my Domme cloak and unveil my inner sub.

  Max slightly pulled away. He brought his fingertips to my chin and tilted my face back. “You look gorgeous, my sweet slut. There’s not a happier or more honored Master on the planet tonight.”

  My heart soared and flew even higher when he slanted his lips over mine and claimed me with a passionate, hungry kiss. I clutched his wide shoulders as that familiar arc of electricity surged between us. The current didn’t only sizzle, but grew hotter…more exacting. I felt Max fortifying me with his strength, meshing his control to mine so I could face the members with dignity and poise.

  Savannah’s words rolled through my head: underneath those tattoos and all those muscles is a kind and generous man. She’d been spot on about that.

  Max ended the kiss when a knock sounded at the door. The knob turned and Mika poked his head in. “Everyone is here and seated. Are you ready?”

  I nodded and swallowed tightly and smoothed my hands over the ivory silk gown.

  “Make your Master proud, Samantha,” Max whispered as he squeezed me tight, then released me.

  With his wide, warm hand splayed at the small of my back, he led me down the hall. Before we breached the archway, I could hear murmurs coming from the dungeon. Mika had personally invited everyone to join him for a buffet dinner and surprise.

  I assumed the food would
be spectacular but hoped the surprise would be well received. When I entered the dungeon, I nearly swallowed my tongue. My knees began to shake and my palms grew sweaty. It would be a small miracle if I could keep from puking into one of the trash cans situated by the various stations.

  “Easy, Samantha,” Max murmured. “Take a deep breath, pet. You’re going to do fine.”

  Breathe? Really? I could barely walk, let alone breathe. But the minute I spied Eli—his dark eyes glassy with tears—wearing a huge smile of encouragement, the icy fingers of fear clawing at me melted. I wrapped Max’s compelling strength around me and inhaled a calming breath.

  “That’s my girl,” he whispered in a tone teeming with pride.

  I was so preoccupied with bolstering myself inwardly that I totally missed Mika’s introduction. It wasn’t until he turned to me with a smile and moved alongside Max that I realized it was time for me to address the crowd.

  Renouncing my Dominance was a small price for the chance to bask in the joy and honor of being Max’s girl…his pet…his slut…his slave. I lifted my chin.

  There was no longer any shadow of doubt.

  I was on the path of my heart’s desire once again.

  Courage bloomed as I scanned the smiling faces of longtime friends like Julianna, Drake, Trevor, Ivory, Dark Desire, and so many others, to newbies like Woody, Maple, and Symoné. I returned their caring smiles and cleared my throat.

  “Thank you all for coming this evening. I mean…who’d turn down a free dinner, right?” I joked as the members nodded and laughed.

  “You all know me as Sammie, or Mistress Sammie. Anonymity is a fundamental must in this lifestyle, but the time has come for me to reveal the woman behind the curtain, so to speak.”

  All eyes were riveted on me, even Master Justice, standing at the back of the room, partially concealed in the shadows.

  “Before moving to Chicago and having the honor of becoming friends with Mika…who isn’t only a mentor, but a cherished friend, I lived in New Jersey. I was a different woman then. I was eighteen when I married a man named Desmond. He was my childhood sweetheart. Together we discovered the lifestyle. Through a bit of trial and error, our Master/slave relationship eventually began to flourish. It was…amazing.” My throat tightened and I paused, biting back my emotions. “On September eleventh, two thousand and one, my whole world crumbled. Desmond was aboard United Airlines flight one seventy-five…the second plane that crashed into the World Trade Center. I not only lost my husband, that day, but my Master as well.”

  Several members gasped and murmured in shock. Trevor covered his face in his hands and wept while Drake brushed a tear from his rugged face. I wanted to join them…break down and curl into a ball on the floor and sob like a baby. But I’d already done that…already purged the pain I’d carried for so many years.

  Today was a chance at rebirth. I paused as I sensed Max moving in close behind me. When he gently slid his fingers up my spine, I greedily absorbed his strength. Gathering the fortitude he offered, I continued.

  “Desmond’s death annihilated me. I was lost and aimlessly drifting out to sea. I knew in order to stay sane, I had to leave New Jersey. His ghost was everywhere. Every time I stepped out of our brownstone, I saw survivors mourning…wearing empty, vacant expressions like my own. I began to liken us to nine-eleven zombies. So I packed my things and started driving. The void of losing my husband was all consuming, but the loss of my Master was black and ugly. I had no direction, no purpose. I knew that if I didn’t find new meaning in life, I’d simply blow away.

  “Luckily, a lifestyle friend back in New Jersey had me get in touch with Mika, and he introduced me to Club Genesis. When I confessed this story to him and explained I couldn’t kneel to another Master again, Mika took me under his wing. He taught me how to find a different kind of fulfillment within the lifestyle. He gave me a second chance on life with a new and wonderful kinky family.”

  I darted a glance over my shoulder. Through my blurry vision, I saw Mika crying…proudly displaying the tears that trickled down his cheeks. I sucked in a shaky breath and quickly wiped my eyes. I didn’t dare look at Max. I’d break down and never finish what I needed to say.

  “My years as Mistress Sammie have been more rewarding than I can express in words. I’ve found tremendous joy scening and working you amazing subs. The trust you granted me to send you off into that lullaby of subspace has been a humbling honor. Thank you for allowing me to aid in your journey, as you’ve helped me grow in mine.”

  “Oh, god,” Trevor wailed. “You’re not leaving us, are you, Mistress?”

  “Hush, boy!” Drake barked.

  “I’m sorry, Master, but”—Trevor issued a mournful howl—“she can’t leave…”

  The utter pain in his voice was my undoing. A strangled sob slid from the back of my throat. I shook my head but couldn’t push any words past my lips. I turned toward Max as another sob shook me to my toes.

  “No, Trevor. She’s not going anywhere,” Max assured in a tone thick with emotion. He reached into his vest pocket and handed me a tissue. Accepting it with a watery smile, I knew these tears weren’t the ones Max intended to sip from my flesh. I blotted my cheeks and sucked in a ragged breath.

  “I’m not going anywhere, but Mistress Sammie is. She’s leaving…me, and in her place will be the submissive I locked away sixteen years ago.”

  Mika stepped up and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Ladies and Gentlemen of Club Genesis, it’s my pleasure and my heartfelt honor to introduce you all to slave Samantha.”

  After a split second of stunned silence, the members launched to their feet. Deafening applause, cheers, and whistles filled the dungeon. I was stunned. Overwhelmed. Speechless. My heart swelled. I was shaking with shock and joy at their unequivocal acceptance.

  Max moved in alongside me and banded his arm around my waist as Mika stepped forward and raised his hands in the air.

  “Settle down…settle down,” he instructed. “We’re not quite finished yet.”

  “There’s more?” Ian barked out. “Mad Max, you’re not going to the other side, too, are you, man?”

  Max laughed. “Not in a million. Someone has to keep Samantha on the straight and narrow.”

  “Oh, holy shit! Are you fucking serious?” Trevor squealed as he jumped up and down.

  “You’ll be paying for that filthy mouth of yours for weeks, my incorrigible slut,” Drake bellowed.

  “Beat me, gag me, shove your cock in my mouth for a month, Daddy… I’ll gladly take any punishment you give me, but I’ve got a new sub sister!”

  Trevor bounced into the narrow aisle between the rows of chairs and started dancing. I couldn’t help but laugh. With a scowl, Daddy Drake stood and wrapped a beefy fist in his lover’s long blond hair. He then yanked him back to his chair and narrowed his eyes. Trevor cupped Drake’s face and kissed him, hard.

  “All right. All right. If you’ll all settle down, I’m going to pass things over to Master Max.”

  Mika smiled and kissed me on the cheek. “I told you all this would turn out fine, sweetheart.”

  “Yes, you did. Thank you. Thank you for…everything.” My voice cracked. Mika wiped a tear from my cheek, then turned and sat beside a weeping Julianna before wrapping an arm around his slave.

  “Many of us, in and out of the lifestyle, spend years searching for that special someone who completes us. Many have been blessed and have found that missing puzzle piece of their soul. Others continue to search. To those of you who’ve not yet found them, don’t give up. When you least expect it, your One might do something as ordinary as opening a door…and your whole world will change.” Max sent me a knowing smile I could barely see through the tears pouring from my eyes.

  “Oh, but don’t get bent out of shape when, after you introduce yourself, she asks if that’s your porn or stripper name.”

  My cheeks caught fire as the whole room roared with laughter.

  “That just means she
’s really into you but doesn’t want to admit it,” Max added, cupping his hand to his mouth in a conspiratorial gesture. He flashed me a wicked smile as he waited for the laughter in the room to die down.

  “I’ve spent weeks in a battle of wills with this tenacious woman, trying to crash through her walls and lay a foundation of trust, communication, and honesty…the cornerstones necessary for all of us to grow and thrive. We’ve laid open our souls, and though neither of us has spoken the words until now, I want the whole world to know”—Max turned with a blinding smile—“from the moment I first saw her, I fell in love with Sammie, fell in love with Sam, and fell in love with Samantha, who I will treasure and hold with the greatest care of a man and a Master forever.”

  The damn inside me burst. Sobs tore from my throat and tears spilled from my eyes. This time, Max didn’t bother with a tissue; he simply pressed his lips to my cheeks and drank in the love spilling from inside me.

  “I love you, Maximus…I love you, Master…I love you…love you with all m-my heart,” I sputtered between sobs.

  He growled and kissed me like he’d never kissed me before. The whole world spun and dropped out from beneath my feet. The room erupted in cheers and applause once again.

  Max begrudgingly pulled away and smiled. “About fucking time we got that out in the open.”

  I laughed and sniffed.

  I felt like a waterfall as more tears cascaded down my face. Max glanced toward Dylan with a barely perceptible nod. He was on his feet and standing beside Max in front of the crowd. The members grew quiet and anticipation lined their faces.

  “A Master is never complete without a slave. You complete me, Samantha.” I opened my mouth to reply, but Max pressed a finger to my lips. “After Master Desmond passed away, you honored his memory by vowing to never kneel before another, but in the process, you locked your own heart away. I know he’s watched down on you with pride, admiration, and joy, but also sorrow because you’ve forsaken the peace and serenity you deserve. It’s time for you rise from the ashes, pet, and kneel once again to another Master who loves you.”