Film Star

by Rowan Coleman

  “You really care about me, don’t you, Ruby?” he asked me.

  I nodded. Sean looked at me, his expression full of regret.

  “I just can’t see how things are ever going to change with Dad. Until I’m legally old enough to be free of him, I’ll have to put up with it; right now I have nowhere else to go.” We looked at each other intently. “I’ve met some great people here,” he said sadly. “And I’m really going to miss you when I go. It would be great to stay friends with you, Ruby Parker.”

  I smiled up at Sean.

  “But maybe we can.” As I spoke Sean glanced over my shoulder and dropped my hand suddenly.

  “Oh—hey, man,” he said awkwardly.

  I turned around and saw Danny staring at us.

  “I spoke to Anne-Marie last night,” he said coldly. “She told me I’d got everything wrong about you and him. I didn’t believe her at first but she spent so long bending my ear I thought it had to be true. So, idiot that I am, I came backstage to find you and try and tell you how sorry I am.” He looked from me to Sean, his face a mask of ice. “Looks like I’ve got nothing to apologise for.”

  “Hey, man…!” Sean began, but Danny had turned on his heel and gone.

  “I’m sorry,” Sean said. I sipped my juice without tasting it and shrugged.

  “Don’t be,” I said, forcing myself to be brave. “It’s not your fault.”

  Sean looked uncomfortable.

  “Actually, Ruby…” Just at that moment Sean’s mobile phone beeped and he took it out of his pocket.

  “Mmm,” he said thoughtfully. He glanced up at me. “Look, I have to do something, but when I come back I’ve got something to tell you and Danny, something that will put things right. Tell Carrie I’ll be back in a few seconds.”

  “But the show’s already started,” I said anxiously. “Carrie will have an aneurism if you aren’t here when she comes to get you. I will!”

  “We’re not on for ages,” Sean told me with his easy smile. “We’re the grand finale. I’ll be back in time, I promise.”

  The minutes ticked by and one by one the celebrity presenters filed out of the green room to go on stage, until there was just a handful of us left. And Sean was not back.

  “Hey,” Carrie stopped short as she ran into the room. “Where’s Sean?”

  “Um…in the loo,” I said unconvincingly.

  “What?” Carrie looked worried. “Where is he really? You’re on next, Ruby. I’ll get killed if you don’t both go on; it’s Sean they want really.” She bit her lip when she realised what she’d said and smiled at me apologetically.

  “I’m sorry, but you know what I mean,” she said. I nodded. I wasn’t offended. It was after all the truth.

  “I do,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll find him.”

  I fished out my mobile that Mum insisted I took with me in case I went missing again and dialled Sean’s number, planning to ask him where he was and to tell him to get back here now. But as I rang his number, I discovered I didn’t have to. I knew exactly where Sean was because I could hear his phone ringing.

  Holding my phone in front of me I followed the tone until I could hear it quite loudly.

  There was a series of three doors in the corridor and the ring was coming from one of those.

  The first one I tried was locked.

  The second was empty.

  In the third one I found Sean.

  And Anne-Marie.

  Kissing.

  Each other.

  “Oh, good! You found him.” Carrie appeared right behind me and barged past me to get to Sean. She elbowed Anne-Marie out of the way and grabbed Sean by the arm with total disregard for his star status, and propelled him as fast she could towards the stage. “Come on, Ruby,” she yelled over her shoulder. “We’ve got two minutes.”

  I watched Sean being dragged away by Carrie, glancing anxiously back over his shoulder as he went. I tuned round and looked at Anne-Marie.

  “You said he didn’t fancy you and you didn’t fancy him,” I said flatly. “Funny that, because snogging the face off each other usually indicates exactly the opposite.”

  “I know,” Anne-Marie said, twisting her fingers. “But you see, we couldn’t tell anyone.”

  “But…” I struggled to find the words. “Why? Why not? If you had told just me and Danny then—”

  “Because Sean’s father…” Anne-Marie started.

  “RUBY PARKER GET HERE NOW!” Carrie hollered down the corridor, with the ruthless determination that only a television researcher on a short-term contract can know.

  I shook my head at Anne-Marie and started to walk as fast as I could in my high heels after Carrie and Sean.

  “You could have told me,” I said.

  “Ruby, I’m sorry!” Anne-Marie called out after me. “Just let me explain!”

  In a daze I caught up with Carrie, who rolled her eyes at me and shepherded Sean and me to the edge of the set. I felt the palm of her hand in the small of my back as we waited to go on.

  “Ruby…” Sean said.

  “Shhhhhh,” Carrie hissed at us.

  The show’s presenter was announcing us.

  “…and now for showbiz’s most popular childhood sweethearts, Sean Rivers and Ruby Parker!”

  “Go, go, go!” Carrie said in our ears and she gave us a little shove. I stumbled forward but Sean caught my hand and steadied me as we walked on to the stage to the sound of applause and cheers.

  “I was going to fix it,” Sean said in my ear as we smiled and waved at the audience still holding hands.

  I yanked my hand out of his without breaking my smile, and waved it at the audience.

  “You are nothing but a fake,” I told him through my grimly grinning teeth. “Your whole life’s fake.”

  “Do you think I don’t know that?” Sean said under the noise of the audience as we walked over to the podium. “Do you think I don’t hate it?”

  “Do you hate it?” I asked him as we took our places. “Or is that just fake too?”

  I looked at our lines which had been taped to the podium on the back of a card. We hadn’t had a chance to rehearse them like all the other award presenters. All we knew was that we had to read one line each in turn as we announced the nominees, and then wait for clips from each of the four shows to be screened before finally opening the gold envelope and announcing the winner.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” Sean and I began together. The audience laughed and so did Sean and I, grinning at each other like idiots. It should have been us winning the award for ‘Best Fake Friendship on an Award Show’.

  “Please accept our apologies,” Sean said, turning his smile on the audience. “We only got this gig this afternoon because of poor Sindy Torrington’s bad luck. And we’d like to take this opportunity to wish her a speedy recovery.” Sean let loose his dazzling smile and the audience clapped again.

  “I’ll let the beautiful Ms Parker take the first line,” he said, giving me a little bow. I beamed at him and read the first line.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, Sean and I are very glad to be here to present possibly the most important award of the evening, the award that announces the future of British soap…”

  We read out the nominees’ names without any more problems, and when they showed each one of them on the big screen I was relieved to see that Danny was in his seat. As they flashed his picture up on screen he was resting his chin in his hands, looking nervous. I could tell by looking at him that he really wanted to win the award.

  As we watched the clips of each of the nominees in action being screened, Sean covered his radio mike with his hand. I did the same.

  “Ruby, I didn’t mean it to happen, with me and Anne-Marie,” Sean whispered in my ear as we watched the big screen. “We only got together when she came up to the set. You had split up with Danny before that. You know it wasn’t my idea to have a fake romance between us…”

  “You kissed me,” I hissed at him. “It was in the pap
ers. You might have seen it in one of the five million copies that were knocking around?”

  “I didn’t know they were going to think that—I was just messing round,” Sean insisted.

  “Yeah, you were,” I told him. “With my life. Messing around with my life. You could have at least told me about Anne-Marie.”

  “I know, but you don’t know what would happen if Dad found out about Annie. You don’t know what he would have done to me, and I’d never be able to see her again. I just wanted something for myself…I really like her, Ruby.” Sean stopped talking as we both realised at once that the clips had finished and the audience were waiting for us to announce the winner.

  “Young love,” Sean said, as he uncovered his mike with an apologetic smile and a shrug. “You think the whole world will wait for you.” The audience erupted into laughter.

  Sean handed me the envelope. I took it and realised that my hand was trembling—from anger with Sean and Anne-Marie, and nerves for Danny, who I really, really wanted to win.

  I slid my finger under the seal on the envelope and opened it.

  “Please let it be Danny. Please let it be Danny,” I repeated under my breath as I slid the card out of the envelope.

  It was blank.

  “Turn it over,” whispered Sean.

  I turned it over and read the name on the card.

  I couldn’t speak, and the moment of silence stretched out like years until at last Sean took the card from my hand and read the name out himself.

  “And the award for best newcomer goes to Tatiana Khan for The Dentists!”

  In that moment images of the three losers flashed up on the screen. When it showed Danny, all I could see was that he was leaving his seat.

  Without thinking, I tottered on my heels out from behind the podium to the edge, where I could see Danny walking up the steps to the exit at the back of the seating.

  Tatiana walked up to me and shook my hand, probably thinking I had come out to the edge of the stage to greet her. She kissed me on each cheek and was clearly waiting for me to escort her back to the podium. I looked at the double doors Danny had just left by and then back at the podium.

  “You go on,” I told Tatiana. “There’s something I have to do.”

  I knew that my mum, Lisa Wells, Sylvia Lighthouse and anyone who had ever had any kind of career would be appalled at me running off the stage in the middle of the ceremony. I knew that as soon as I realised what I had done I would be appalled at myself. But I had to go.

  I had to go after Danny because whatever happened between us I knew how much he would be hurting now, and even if we were over I at least wanted him to know the truth.

  That was when I fell off the stage.

  I had been trying to get down the steps too quickly in the too-high heels, and the too-long hem of the dress got trapped under one of the heels, sending me tumbling forward and sprawling on my face.

  “Ow!” I said, and for a moment I felt like sitting there on the floor of the theatre, with the eyes of the nation and the nation’s celebrities glued to me, and bawling like next-door’s toddler.

  But I didn’t. The show must go on, I decided. Even if it was one as miserable, embarrassing and as stupid as mine.

  I got up, dusted myself down, did a little curtsey and went after Danny.

  Just as I reached the exit I heard Sean say, “Excuse Ruby, she must have needed the bathroom.”

  “Well she did say it was an emergency,” Tatiana added.

  Everybody laughed.

  Backstage, in the corridors of the BBC Theatre again, I could just see Danny’s figure turning the corridor as I ran after him, stumbling and tripping with nearly every step, until I finally slid the shoes off my feet and went on, barefoot.

  “Danny!” I shouted again. “Wait, I need to talk to you!”

  The figure stopped and turned around and I almost ran right into him. Except it wasn’t Danny. It was a very short security guard.

  “Can I help you, miss?” the security guard asked.

  “I…thought you were someone else,” I said miserably. “Sorry.”

  The security guard shrugged and gave me a sympathetic smile.

  “Do you want me to page anyone for you, Miss Parker?” he asked me.

  “No thanks,” I said, feeling deflated and defeated all at once. “I’ll be fine.”

  I turned around and padded back along the cool smooth surface of the corridor towards the main auditorium.

  Now that the heat of the moment had cooled, I reflected on what I had done: walked off stage in the middle of a live television show; fallen flat on my face in front of millions; run screaming like a mad person after a short security guard; and to cap it all I realised, as I walked back down a totally empty corridor, I had lost my shoes. Tallulah’s shoes. Who knew what revenge she’d take on me for that.

  I sat down heavily on the bottom step of a staircase and looked at my toes.

  In the distance I could hear the laughter and applause from the show as it came to an end. Soon this empty corridor would be full with celebrities and I would have to face Mum and Lisa and Sean and try to explain what I had done.

  I had made a fool of myself on TV for nothing.

  I didn’t appear to have any friends left.

  In a few days time my part in the filming of The Lost Treasure of King Arthur would be mainly over and I’d be back at Sylvia Lighthouse’s Academy for the Performing Arts as officially the most unpopular girl in the school, possibly the country, if not the entire world.

  I sighed.

  A pair of black and white Puma trainers appeared in my line of vision as I stared at the floor. I knew those trainers.

  Slowly I looked up.

  It was Danny, holding the gold shoes.

  “Do these belong to you?” he asked me. He didn’t look angry, I thought. He looked sort of sad and tired.

  I nodded.

  “I was chasing you,” I said, figuring I might as well tell him before he read it in the papers. “But they don’t really fit me so I took them off.” Danny knelt down on the floor and slid a shoe on to each foot in turn.

  “Whomsoever these shoes don’t really fit,” he said, “I shall apologise to profusely.” He sat back on his heels and looked at me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m an idiot.”

  “Well…” I couldn’t entirely contradict him. “You were a bit. You should have trusted me.” I sighed. “But I suppose I’ve just found that you can’t always trust your friends.” Danny shook his head.

  “You can,” he said. “Anne-Marie was there when I walked off the show. She told me about her and Sean. She said there had never been anything going on with you two. She told me that last night, but for some reason I couldn’t believe it. I don’t know why.”

  “Because you’d made up your mind,” I said. “You think I’ve been chasing Sean since the moment I met him. Since before I met him.”

  “You had his poster on your wall,” Danny said.

  I thought for a moment.

  “Before I met him, when he was just a poster on my wall, well, yes, then I did have a bit of a crush on him,” I said honestly. “But the minute I met him in real life, that crush had gone. I realised that he is just a boy. A brilliant, talented boy who I really like, but he’s not you, Danny. I wanted to be with you and you wouldn’t believe me.”

  “I suppose I didn’t think I could compete with him,” Danny said.

  I laughed, which made him frown a little bit.

  “Can I compete with the thousands of girls who write you love letters every week?” I asked him. Danny’s answering smile was rueful.

  “That’s different,” he said. “They’re not you.”

  “And Sean’s not you,” I said.

  Danny edged a little closer to me on his knees.

  “I am an idiot,” he said again. “A total thicko.”

  “Yes,” I said, nodding, “you are. But then again I don’t suppose my behaviour would win me th
e final of Junior Mastermind either.”

  “I nearly spoiled everything by getting too serious,” Danny added.

  “You did,” I agreed. “You are an idiot and you are a thicko, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t really care about you and that I don’t sort of…well, actually—you know—love you, I suppose. Because…um, I do.”

  I swallowed hard. I had never said that kind of thing to anybody before in my life. And it hadn’t been quite as poetic and romantic as I had imagined.

  “Really?” Danny said, smiling broadly. “You do?”

  “Well, yes,” I said, feeling my cheeks burning. “But let’s not go on about it, OK?”

  Danny nodded. “Well just so you know,” he said. “I do—that thing you said—as well.”

  “Well, good,” I said, managing to smile back at him. “I’m sorry you didn’t win the best newcomer award. You should have.”

  Danny shrugged. “Oh, that doesn’t matter,” he said. “All I want to know is will you be my girlfriend again, Ruby?” He picked up my hand.

  I thought for a moment even though I knew the answer.

  “I will,” I said lightly. “But on one condition.”

  “What’s that?” Danny said, taking my other hand and edging a little nearer still.

  “That from now on, we trust each other, don’t get too serious, and we remember we are not from Verona,” I said.

  “We will,” Danny said, knowing exactly what I meant as he brought his lips a little closer to mine. “I promise that we will.”

  And he kissed me then, and I felt as if I were floating a little bit.

  “Oh, thank goodness!” I heard Anne-Marie exclaim. “You’ve made it up.” She blew a sharp puff of air out of her mouth so that a little bit of her long blonde hair wafted upwards.

  “You again,” I said coldly. “You keep turning up in the most unexpected places. How did you even get in here, anyway?”

  “Oh, Daddy got me in. Look, Ruby, let me explain…” Anne-Marie began.

  But just at that moment my mum and Jeremy Fort (who I didn’t even know was there) came rushing towards me.

  “Oh, Ruby, we’ve found you,” Mum said in relief.

  “I wasn’t running away again…” I said.