Into the Fire

by Victoria Smith

  He smiled huge when he saw her and raised the tongs in mock salute. Her stomach flipped and her intent to find out what was going on fled when her nerve-endings came to life. His presence filled her with longing.

  “You look good, well rested.” He glanced at the pan.

  “Thanks,” she said.

  She couldn’t help but wonder how much crap she’d looked like before. Then she realized she probably had, especially with the poison trashing her system. Hell, no wonder he couldn’t wait to get rid of her.

  Luke kept smiling. He seemed more relaxed as well. Instead of starting an awkward exchange of compliments, she peered into the pan over his shoulder.

  “That’s real bacon, not the fake stuff. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had bacon? How’d you get that?” She inhaled deeply, not sure if the rush of warmth was from the bacon or from Luke.

  Pigs began dying about the time Dan took office. Some strain of virus they said. Within months, they were extinct. Now she wondered if they’d had the complacency drug tested on them. It was illegal to possess pork products, regardless of when you got it.

  “Traded for it a few years back. Remember when you could buy bacon and ham and pork chops at the grocery store? And milk? Before milk was proven to cause cancer. Or so they say?”

  “That was before I was born. How old are you anyway?” She didn’t think he was too much older than she was, but milk had been outlawed years before she was born.

  “Thirty-two. July fourth.”

  “July fourth? That’s kind of fitting.” She smiled. He was only four years older than her. “And you have no idea what it was like to drink milk. You’ve probably never even tasted it.”

  “Well, no. I haven’t, but my mom used to talk about it all the time. She used to tell Matt and me how life was when she was younger. How you could drive anywhere, and pretty much do whatever you wanted, as long as you weren’t hurting anyone else. I used to think she was making it up, like a fairy tale or something, but I’ve met enough people who remember the time before all of the rules and laws.”

  “I know. My dad talks about driving to the West Coast on vacation. In a car, with no borders to cross. I still have a tough time believing that. The one time we tried to go to the beach when I was twelve, we weren’t allowed to leave the sector due to threat of illness.” She shook her head. “You know, I’d be satisfied with going back to how it was before they started drugging us and forcing us to conform. Before they took away our identities.”

  “No. You wouldn’t, because you know that wasn’t right either. We’re doing this for total freedom. I have a copy of the Declaration of Independence in my wallet. I keep it to remember how this country was supposed to be. That’s what I want.” Luke reached into his back pocket and showed her a worn paper.

  Olivia didn’t reach for it; she knew the document by heart, but he was right. They had such a long fight ahead of them to make that dream come true again.

  He held a crispy slice of bacon in front of her, wiggling it. “No more doom and gloom. We have bacon.”

  She nodded as she snatched the meat from him. “This is amazing.”

  “I know. It’s been languishing in my deep freeze. I was saving it for a special occasion. Luckily Matt didn’t know it was there.” Luke’s grin dazed her. She tried to force the thrill out of her girl parts.

  “Matt’s going to be pissed you didn’t wait for him.”

  He uncovered a plate of already-cooked bacon. “There’s plenty. We’ll save him some, but first we have to tease him.”

  “Whatever you say. I can’t imagine you won’t be bloody though.” She laughed and accepted the cup. “Thanks. Did we really sleep until morning?”

  “Yeah. I got up about an hour ago. I figured you’d sleep a long time, but I didn’t think I would. Do you feel better?” he asked as if he was afraid she’d been given the alternate immunization.

  “I do. I have full control of all my skills. The poison is gone and, actually, I feel better than I have in months.” She didn’t add how she’d feel even better if she could figure out the next step. But that wasn’t Luke’s problem.

  “Good. This place has that effect on anyone I bring here, which is actually very few. I’m not here much, so I’m always glad when I get to sleep in my own bed. It always smells like home here.”

  She itched to ask the questions popping up in her head, but didn’t. Let them have a civil breakfast before she picked his brain. She really wanted to know what Matt had found out about Kenneth, but that would dredge up heavier conversation than they should have at a bacon breakfast. She took a bite of crispy goodness and groaned. Luke grinned and winked as he grabbed the plate of bacon and motioned for her to follow him into the dining room.

  He’d set the table. Steam rose when he lifted the lid from a container of pancakes. Her stomach growled as he passed her the dish, their hands touching. Her nerve endings were on overload. Maybe because of the great night’s sleep, or the bacon breakfast, or Luke.

  She couldn’t stop watching him eat. Every bite felt like innuendo and longing. When he licked syrup off his lip, she nearly fell off the chair. He gave her a grin as his thoughts passed to her. Whatever was going on between them had to be addressed before she came unglued. She leaned forward to grab the salt shaker, hearing a low moan from Luke that maybe she’d imagined

  Every movement added to her awareness. She had no idea what she was doing. What made her think sex with Luke would be different than Sandy, or anyone else? She shoved the negativity away when Luke’s leg brushed hers and forced the breath from her lungs.

  He watched as she went to the sink. She could feel his eyes on her back. Her body throbbed. Her knees buckled when he came up behind her, but she recovered quickly enough that she hoped he hadn’t noticed. He pressed her into the counter as he placed the dishes into the sink behind her. His heat filled her, and she briefly leaned into him.

  “What are we going to do?” he asked, his breath hot on her neck.

  “About what?” She could probably have come up with something a little cleverer, but it was the best she could do, considering she could barely breathe.

  “This.” He fitted himself against her.

  She met his eyes, scared but excited. He touched her cheek, kissing her as she turned to face him. Moving back, his gaze locked with hers. He ran his fingers down her throat before returning to her mouth. She whimpered, her hands on his chest. He gently bit her neck as he kissed his way down. Olivia jerked against him, grabbing the waistband of his jeans for support.

  He took a step, pulling her with him as she tugged open his shirt. Stumbling backward, he caught himself on the third step. Her shirt came off. He dipped his head to her breasts and gripped her butt with both hands. When she wrapped her legs around him, he picked her up. He kissed her deeply, missing the last step and pitching them forward. Luke caught them with a hand on the wall before they crashed to the floor. Olivia laughed against his mouth as he maneuvered them the rest of the way upstairs. His bedroom doorframe hit her in the back, but she barely felt it.

  She molded herself to him as he guided her onto the bed. Tiny doubts started, but then Luke was beside her. She rolled toward him. He removed her jeans and panties, and then shucked his jeans. His erection pressed against her belly, and she forgot about everything except how much she wanted him. She tentatively reached down to stroke him. Luke shuddered as she rocked against his hips.

  When he moved away and reached into the nightstand drawer, she wondered if this would be any different from the past. She held on to the fear until he pressed his thumb onto her, releasing the pressure for a few throb-filled seconds before reapplying it. When she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he entered her.

  Olivia cried out, biting her lip when she realized what she’d done.

  Luke groaned, brushing her ear with his lips. “Make as much noise as you have to.”

  She was drowning and didn’t want to be saved. Her muscles clenched around
him as he thrust deeper. The way he moved his hips against her brought the tingling sensation again, quickly morphing into an incredible feeling she didn’t want to ever end. She matched his strokes as he pumped faster, her body tightening around his as the spirals started. Tiny stars filled her vision, and her world exploded. She could die now and not even care.

  Luke moved her to him when he collapsed beside her, his body covered with sweat. She licked his chest, already wanting his touch again, and wondered what in the hell had happened to her. Closing her eyes for a few minutes, she let the peace and security wash over her with the overwhelming sense of well-being. The same vibes came from Luke, and she relaxed in the emotion. Aftershocks rocked her as she snuggled close to him.

  “I . . . I don’t know what to say. That was . . . wow. I never . . .” she said as she rested her cheek on his chest.

  “You never what?” Luke brushed the hair away from her face and gently forced her chin to look at him.

  “Just never. Not ever like that. Not even close. I always . . . well, never mind. It doesn’t matter.” She took a deep breath, the insecurity of the past fading away with the cooling of their bodies.

  “You’re not serious? Holy shit.” Luke squeezed her against him.

  “I am serious. Sandy was my first, and he, well, I guess he was never really interested in me that way. He always seemed distracted, and he hated when I made noise. I thought it was my fault. Finding out he’s gay didn’t really help. I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d done something to force him in that direction. We were so perfectly matched in every other way. I couldn’t see another reason.” She wasn’t as embarrassed to talk about it as she thought she’d be.

  “Sandy’s an asshole. You deserve more than a best friend pretending to want you. That’s unfair. You deserve to be worshipped because, damn, you’re incredible.” Luke kissed the top of her head before resting his chin there.

  “My next encounter didn’t go very well either. He was done so fast I barely knew what was going on.” She did blush that time, but luckily Luke couldn’t see her face.

  “That makes sense then.” He twirled a section of her hair around his finger.

  “What makes sense?” She stiffened, not sure what he meant.

  “The things I perceived when you were poisoned. How you reacted when I kissed you in the motel.” He kissed her forehead. “Sandy didn’t deserve you. The other guy didn’t either. Don’t be ashamed.” Luke rolled her slightly and ran his hand to where their bodies touched. “Don’t ever be ashamed. You are incredible, and you deserve to be worshipped.”

  He kissed her. Olivia didn’t think it was possible to be ready again so soon, but the hard length pressing against her proved her wrong. The second time was more intense, probably because she now had the confidence she’d lacked. As she shuddered against him, her soul lightened.

  When Olivia opened her eyes again, she was plastered to Luke’s side. The sun had escaped and hard rain pelted the windows. She sighed and moved the blanket over them, not wanting to wake him. She felt different, and not just incredible sex different. Searching inside of herself, she tried to identify what had changed. Maybe it was her imagination.

  Luke’s arm tightened around her. She smiled up at him when she realized he was awake. He kissed her forehead, pulling her up so her breasts pressed against his chest. His stomach rumbled loudly. He laughed, a seductive sound that vibrated throughout her tender body and filled her with softer emotions. She didn’t care how sore she was, she wanted him again. Only he had different ideas.

  “Food. Come on. Let’s go.” He tugged her hand, practically dragging her off the bed as he tossed her one of his T-shirts. “Matt will be here soon.”

  “I thought he was coming last night?” She pulled the white V-neck tee over her head, stopping to inhale his scent.

  “Patrols were out in triple last night. He thinks he’ll be able to head out soon, but you know how that goes.” He leaned over and kissed her.

  It didn’t matter how uncertain their futures were. The here and now was all that mattered. Determined to enjoy whatever this was while she had it, she followed him down the stairs.

  Cool air swirled around her in the living room. Heavy rain continued to fall outside, a deep mist obscuring all but the tops of the trees. She shivered and rubbed her arms.

  “Do you want me to start a fire?” she asked, stopping behind him when he tensed. Maybe she should have phrased that differently. “In the fireplace? Or would the smoke be a problem. I can do it with a low smoke output, but I guess there’s still a chance it could be detected.” She rambled on, trying to dig herself out of the hole she’d created and only shoveling deeper.

  Luke didn’t turn around. “Do what you want. The smoke dissipates long before it goes out the chimney.”

  Olivia grabbed his arm, sensing his inner struggle about what they’d spent all morning doing, or more like what she was and how frustrated he was with himself for forgetting that. He turned away. She’d given him as much as he’d given her, and she wasn’t about to let him shut her out now.

  “You’re not going to do this to me. I can’t help what I am. I can’t help what I can do. No matter what happens, I’m always going to be a firestarter.” She kept her voice even, though she trembled on the inside.

  She backed off, going to stand at the window to stare out at the rain. Luke’s reflection appeared in the window as he stood behind her. She didn’t turn around as he dropped into a chair and heaved a sigh.

  “I’m trying to forget what you are, but you’re making it impossible.”

  Olivia spun around and glared at him. “I am what I am. If you can’t accept it, I have no business being here.” Her soul made a little wounded sound.

  She went back to the window and watched the rain fill the holes in the driveway. Luke stood, hovering behind her for a minute before walking to the fireplace.

  “Go ahead and make a fire. It’s chilly in here.” He waved a hand towards the fireplace and left the room, an air of resignation around him.

  Olivia sighed, not sure what would happen next. She watched the rain for a few more minutes before gathering several pieces of firewood from the box set into the wall, but didn’t bother with tinder. She did mentally check to make sure nothing blocked the chimney, not that there was much wildlife anymore, thanks to the soldiers using anything that moved as target practice. As she concentrated on the log, flames sprang to life. Within seconds, warmth began filling the room.

  Luke returned as she moved away from the hearth. He handed her a brown bottle with no label and sat in the same chair. She held it up with a questioning expression.

  “Home brew. Matt and I make it every chance we get since liquor is so compromised. I grow some ingredients. Matt trades for the rest.”

  She took a drink. The flavor was impressive and she told him so, though she held back because her feelings were still hurt. Luke took another swallow and leaned forward.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about what happened. And I’m trying very hard here. I’m just in a place I never thought or wanted to be.”

  “Not my fault. Don’t blame me for whatever put this hate inside of you.” She took a long swallow of beer.

  Luke sighed. “I know. I’m trying.”

  She studied him, feeling his sincerity and how conflicted he was inside. “Okay.”

  “Come on. I’m hungry.” He kissed her hard and fast before grabbing her hand and tugging her toward the kitchen.

  ~ ~ ~

  Matt showed up shortly after midnight. Olivia raised her head when she heard the rumble of his vintage Chevy pickup, but Luke urged her to stay. “He has a key.”

  Luke took a deep breath and relaxed against her. Olivia remained awake despite the weariness from their lovemaking. They hadn’t cleaned up from their meal or picked up the clothes they’d thrown off. She searched herself, surprised to find she wasn’t embarrassed, only glad they’d made it to Luke’s bed and weren’t still in front of
the fire.

  The next morning, she found herself alone when she opened her eyes. Going into her room, she showered, taking her time. She finally made her way downstairs to the sound of male laughter. She hated to interrupt the brothers, but then had to force away the thought they’d been talking about her. She rounded the corner, and Luke greeted her with a smile.

  “We were just talking about you,” he said, kissing her quickly and thoroughly.

  “Oh really?” She tried to shove the insecurity back into the hole she’d created for it.

  “Yeah.” Luke stretched, revealing that fabulous stretch of skin, and she had to force her eyes away or jump him in front of his brother.

  When he didn’t offer to tell her why they were talking about her, she turned her gaze to Matt.

  “It was all good.” Matt winked and hugged her quick before heading to the coffee pot to pour her a cup. There was something lurking under the surface that neither brother wanted to tell her. “Thanks for not letting this jackass eat all of the bacon.”

  She accepted the mug, leaning her hip against the counter.

  “I imagine you’re wondering about your ex and his beau?” Matt asked, straddling a chair beside her.

  Olivia studied them, amazed by the attractiveness of the brothers even if they were contrasts. Luke was tall, lean, and dark. Matt was even taller, more muscled, and had brown eyes and lighter brown hair. He was adorable—like a teddy bear to her, but she could definitely see how appealing he could be. She turned toward Luke, the rise of need nearly overwhelming her. When would she ever get enough of him? Truthfully, she didn’t want to. She had a lot of missed time to make up for.

  “Yeah. I am. What did you find on Kenneth?” She picked up her cup, maybe to hide her worry.

  “You have to do something first,” Luke said as he turned a chair close. “Call him Kenny. Come on. Just once. Do it for me.” Luke grinned, and she couldn’t think of one thing she wouldn’t do for him.

  “Okay. Fine. Tell me what Kenny did.” She laughed when she imagined Kenneth’s face at the nickname.