Alien in the Family

by Gini Koch

  “So, Iguanodon? What’s the status for your ship?”

  Neeraj smiled. I was impressed. It was both scary and nice at the same time. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to see it again. “We do not need to be in our ship to fly it.” He and Jareen did something funky between them, and I felt a very large thing fly over us. “Our ship is near. Would you like it uncloaked?”

  “Can the Alpha Four folks see it through the cloak?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then uncloak away.”

  They did. It looked a little like a lizard with wings. “Wow, did the folks who created Star Trek hang with you guys?”

  “I’m sorry,” Neeraj said. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “No worries. Few ever do.”

  “Would you like the lights on?”

  “Sure, as long as we can turn them off right away if we have to.” Neeraj nodded, and we were bathed in light. Something resembling a cat’s paw and a dog’s head landed on either side of the Flying Lizard. They put on their brights, too. “You know, why is it humans make rockets that look like bullets, but all of you imitated yourselves?”

  “No idea,” Neeraj said. “You think strangely.”

  “Yeah. I think right, too.” I thought about this. “I think I know what ACE’s counterpart is going to be doing.”

  “Can’t wait to find out,” Martini said. “You going to share anything or just keep the rest of us in suspense until we die?”

  “Boy, are you testy tonight. Feeding you was the wrong idea, I guess.”

  He shook his head. “I was happier with the toasts coming than this, I can say that.”

  “Me too. Okay, fine, let’s break it down.” I took a deep breath. “This is all a chess game. Accept that, and it becomes easier to understand. We’re playing chess for the same reasons that someone would challenge Death to a match—it’s the only shot we have.”

  “Kitty, that was amazingly unclear, even for you.” Tim was next to Reader. “You need some tunes or something?”

  “Yes, but not just now. Look, chess, everyone know the game I’m talking about?” Most of the heads nodded. Chuckie spoke quickly and quietly to the heads that didn’t nod, and I continued. “Okay, it’s a game of strategy, of intellect. And in order to win, you have to be cagey. It’s rare to win a chess game by just barreling toward the other side’s king. You have to create action on all parts of the board, so your opponent is distracted from your true main gambit.”

  “Is the main objective finding a new king for Alpha Four?” Chuckie asked me.

  “No. Though even Gregory thinks it is. But he’s not actually the one moving the pieces on his side of the board.”

  “Who is?” Martini asked me quietly.

  “The person with the most to gain and lose.” I looked at Alexander. “How long ago was the king of Alpha Four hurt?”

  “Months,” Alexander said promptly.

  “And he’s Jeff’s grandfather, so he’s older than Alfred, so he’s in, what, his seventies or eighties?”

  “Older,” Alexander admitted.

  “Wow. An old man in his nineties is attacked by the Amazonian Assassin Squad, and he’s still managing to hang on to life. Amazing will.”

  Martini cursed. “You are kidding me!”

  “I wish, Jeff. Just think what you’d all be like if you were still on the home world.”

  “We’d suck.” Christopher’s voice was shaking with rage. “That’s why he wants my father dead.”

  “Yes, because the one person who could actually come back with the authority to lead thousands isn’t really Jeff or you . . . it’s the religious leader who’s been doing it in exile for decades. Richard is the one who leads the hearts and minds of the entire A-C population, including the hearts and minds of the people in charge of all operations.”

  “So the king isn’t hurt all that badly?” Kevin sounded suspicious.

  “No, and it’s obvious now.” Chuckie’s tone was one I was very familiar with. He was in full-on Conspiracy Mode. “But, the question is, who does the king want as a successor?”

  “No one.”

  Everyone looked at me. The spaceship floodlights made it really clear that everyone, even Chuckie, thought I was nuts.

  I sighed. “Guys, I’d like everyone to meet Paul Gower. Paul, come next to me, please.” He did, while giving me the crazy girl look. “Folks, what’s the most unusual thing about Paul?”

  “Oh, God, tell me you’re wrong.” Reader looked freaked. Finally, someone else got it.

  “I’m not wrong.”

  “Kitty, James. Answers, now.” Martini was growling and in full Commander Mode.

  “Jeff, I birthed ACE into Paul six months ago. Paul’s suffered no ill effects. Neither has ACE. But I’ll bet that if we bothered to check, Paul’s longevity has been increased. Also, ACE is part of our world and so thinks more like we do. More to the point, he’s joined with a group who are, truthfully, pacifistic at their core. But the other PPB net was around the most warlike, angry world out there. We assumed it became sentient and aware and took on the anger of the world it surrounded.”

  “But it didn’t, did it?” Reader asked. “Because the plan is to get rid of all the potential heirs to the throne here and now.”

  “Well, the net is angry, but it’s more than that. I’m fairly sure it’s being controlled, not doing the controlling, at least, not all of it.”

  “Who could control the net?” Alexander asked. “They’re created to stand alone and do what they’re programmed to do.”

  “But they’re sentient, and a sentient being can always change its mind. Plus, the person who created the net could always find a way to control it, or create a fail-safe. Or merely program the net to obey at the right time.” Paul and I could control ACE, to a degree, anyway, but I didn’t share that out loud.

  Instead I looked around at all the emissaries. “The plan is to get rid of all the other planetary leaders. And to do that, there needed to be an assassination squad. There were plenty of the best warriors around, in captivity on Beta Twelve. That’s why I know it’s the rest of Kyrellis’ crew who’re coming on that ship—it’s what they were created for, why their net talked to them specifically and told them what to do and who to listen to. The king of Alpha Four will join with the PPB consciousness from Queen Renata’s world and rule everyone, in both the A-C and Earth solar systems . . . potentially forever.”

  Everyone looked horrified and a little ill. No one from the A-C solar system, however, looked all that surprised. From all we’d heard, this was business as usual for Alpha Four.

  I looked at Chuckie. “So Earth has the most to lose, and the king of Alpha Four has the most to gain. Everything else, as always, was an elaborate ruse to keep us distracted from the real goal and what’s really coming.”

  “I’m so proud,” Chuckie said with a small smile. “All those years, you really were paying attention.”

  “To everything you ever said, yeah.” I looked back to Alexander. “I forgot to ask and you’ve never said—what’s Jeff’s good ol’ granddad’s name?”

  “In your language, my great-uncle’s name would translate to Adolphus.”

  I was quiet for a moment. “Wow. That’s so fitting it’s scary.”

  “So, why was Reynolds’ room bugged?” Christopher asked me.

  “Hitler’s royal A-C counterpart and the PPB net haven’t joined yet. I think Kitler wants to be sure he’s got a great story for the rest of the solar system’s inhabitants. You know, something like ‘Earth killed all your leaders and diplomats and all the heirs to my throne, so for the good of us all, I’m going to get some superpowers and fix everything.’ So, I assume he wanted to know if we’d figured it out or not as well as keep tabs on us.”

  “Kitler?” Neeraj asked. “Who is that?”

  “Adolphus . . . Hitler . . . King Hitler . . . put them together, it’s Kitler, also known as our Supreme Bad Guy?”

  “Oh. This is more of your humor.” Nee
raj didn’t seem amused.

  “So to speak,” Chuckie added.

  “So the Planetary Council is also a target?” Queen Renata asked, possibly to change the subject.

  “You are, Renata. The rest of the gang are all identified as being close to their world leaders, so assume every member of the Planetary Council with us is in danger. Kitler’s agents here on Earth set off the laser light show not to announce a royal wedding but to set Gregory off and into motion. Alexander doing the Royal Messenger thing on the home world helped them, which is why Alexander is still alive. Oh, I’d guess Uma’s in with the Reigning Megalomaniac. The PPB has to filter through a woman to go wherever it’s going to end up, plus someone has to be feeding Gregory ideas. She was too good about focusing all of us on the protocols issue—you will refer to him as My Royal Lord my ass, sort of thing.”

  “Uma is the sister of Alpha Six’s ruler.” Queen Renata sounded ill, and angry. “They murdered my mother for this insanity.”

  “Babe, they’re just upset they didn’t murder you, too. Your dissidents do think they’re talking to God, though. I’ve seen the fanaticism up close and personal, and it’s real. I’ve also talked to ACE in my head, and if I didn’t know what ACE was, I wouldn’t have a hard time believing I was talking to God.”

  “Especially if ACE said he was God,” Gower added dryly.

  “So this has been planned for a year?” Alexander asked. “Because the first announcement lights went off a year ago.”

  “Alex, you don’t plan to take over all the sentient inhabitants of two solar systems on a whim. This is a complex plan. His Royal Megalomaniacness has been planning it for years, maybe before you were born. I mean, why don’t you want to rule?”

  He shrugged. “My great-uncle spent much time telling me how onerous it was, how thankless.” I saw the light dawn. “He talked me out of it, didn’t he?”

  “Yes. Welcome to the team, big guy. We’ll do the blood oath and pinkie swear rituals later, but trust me when I say you come from really nasty stock. They must hate you—you’re a lot more like Jeff and Christopher than your own brother.”

  He nodded. “I’ve heard that I wasn’t like the rest of the family most of my life.”

  “You know, we need to protect Alexander, Martini, White, and Gower, but Reader is still going to be target number one,” Chuckie said calmly.

  “Why?” Reader asked, but so did a lot of the others. It was like we had our own echo even though we weren’t in a canyon.

  “Because Paul and Kitty both love you, and ACE is in Paul and worships Kitty.” Martini’s voice was clipped. “And anyone spying on us would know that. That’s why you were the target in the first place, James. To cause emotional trauma, to remove the person they both rely on. To ensure that ACE had to deal with that kind of loss and horror alone—because the two people who could best talk ACE through it would be out of their minds with grief.” He looked at me. “I hate my family.”

  “Not the family here, Jeff.”

  “True.”

  “Sins of the father,” Brian said softly.

  “Will be delivered like unto the fourth generation.” I didn’t go to temple much or mass ever, but I knew the Bible. “Yeah. Jeff and Christopher are the fourth. It ends here. Tonight. One way or the other.”

  CHAPTER 49

  “I HAVE ONE QUESTION.” Christopher sounded thoughtful. “Shoot.”

  “What is the point of the Poofs?”

  “Good question. No idea. Alexander?”

  He looked embarrassed. “They wanted to come.”

  “Beg pardon?”

  Alexander sighed. “Harlie has been around for a long time, before Gregory was born, maybe longer. It was always listless. I assumed it was because it was so old. When the announcement light triggered, it was the first time in my life I saw Harlie excited. There was one other Poof alive, and it was excited, too. When I realized it was up to me to make sure the people knew we had another royal elsewhere who might be able to take the crown, the Poofs mated. That’s how we got the other six.”

  “How did you get them out of the palace, let alone here with you?”

  He shrugged. “I told you, they wanted to come. Only the person they’re attached to can control them, so if they want to go somewhere, they go. The other Poof, Tenley, stayed at home.”

  “Protecting your great-uncle?”

  “No, my mother. They seem more attached to females than males. Tenley has been my mother’s since her marriage was announced.”

  “Can we trust them?” Chuckie asked.

  “Been helping us so far. But, to be sure, who did Harlie belong to?”

  Alexander shrugged and shook his head.

  Martini coughed. “My father.” He sounded embarrassed.

  “I’d call that a big yes, then.” I pulled the Poofs out. They looked at me and purred. Then, one by one, they jumped. Harlie went to Martini, and the one I’d called Poofikins stayed with me. The others went to Christopher, Gower, Reader, Alexander, and Chuckie.

  “Why is one with Reynolds and not, say, me?” Michael asked. He didn’t sound upset or jealous, just curious, which I considered massive personal growth.

  “Because they’re going to be gunning for the seven of us. Not that they will ignore the rest of you, but they want to take the seven of us out.”

  “Why?” Tim asked.

  “Because we’re the power pieces on the chessboard.” I figured Alexander had replaced Kevin because he was a legitimate threat to King Adolphus’ plan. With Reader back in action, we had two spare rooks. I hoped I wasn’t going to have to pull Tito or Kevin in, though.

  “I hate being a pawn,” Tim grumbled. “Pawns get sacrificed.”

  “Not my pawns.” Martini looked at the Poof. “Do me a favor and hide in my pocket.” Harlie purred at him and hid as requested. The other Poofs did the same, going into the men’s pockets. Poofikins hopped into my purse.

  “Break down their side of the board,” Chuckie said to me.

  “Knights are Kyrellis and Moira. Bishops are Gregory and Lenore. I know everyone thought she was clueless, but I’m betting she had some emotional overlay on her to block Jeff. After all, she said she was related to the now-deceased ruler of Alpha Five, so figure she’s in on it, too. Plus, Alexander didn’t trust her, so when in doubt, go with your gut. Their rooks will be the two imageers who infiltrated us, the guys I spotted in Vegas. I’m betting only two, by the way.”

  “Why?” Christopher asked.

  “There’s not enough distraction and destabilization of our side for too many more to be likely,” Chuckie answered. “It’s possible there are more of them, but I’m with Kitty, probably safe to assume just the two.”

  “I practiced with Christopher and Queen Renata,” Serene said. “I can tell who’s who if I’ve ever seen them before, even if they’re shapeshifted or have an image overlaid.”

  “Great work, Serene! You’re going to have a tough job, though, no matter what. I want Tim, Tito, Kevin, and Brian protecting Serene, by the way. The moment they realize she can figure out who’s who, she’ll be target number one.”

  “Who’s their queen?” Chuckie asked.

  “Uma.”

  “You’re kidding.” Martini snorted.

  “Bitch Leader is the queen. Trust me.”

  Queen Renata nodded slowly. “Yes. If I understand your meaning. She was influencing Gregory. It was subtle, but now that I can see the whole web, it was she who drove more decisions, though Gregory would tell you it was him.”

  Willem and Felicia nodded as well. “Renata is correct,” Felicia said. “But we are more than pawns.”

  “Not in this game. Your death or survival is meaningless to Kitler. In that sense, it’s meaningless to us. The difference is, we know you, have fought with you, and so are attached to you. He knows this about us—they’ve been watching, after all. But if you look at it from the point of a game of strategy, unless you can affect the outcome of this battle, you are not invol
ved.”

  “We are good fighters,” Willem said. “Why would you think we would not be able to assist, even turn the tide?”

  “Because,” Martini snapped, “I want you guarding the queen.”

  “Jeff, I’m going to have to fight.”

  “Not if I can help it.” He looked at all of Animal Planet. “Seriously. You want to help? Keep her safe, and keep her out of it.”

  “I agree,” Chuckie said. I glared at him. “What? You think any of us want you actually fighting these people?”

  “I’m not without the skills.”

  “You are in comparison to what we’re up against,” Christopher snapped.

  Willem and Queen Renata exchanged glances. “We will protect as you request,” Willem said. I was surrounded in moments.

  “Great. Nothing’s here yet. I think I can get out of the group huddle.” They backed off but stayed nearby.

  Jerry brought over some extra clips for my Glock. “Just in case,” he said with a grin.

  “You guys all weaponed up?”

  “Yep. The pawns have all agreed—we don’t plan on dying.”

  “That’s the mind-set I want.” I was with Martini—I didn’t want to lose anyone from our side.

  Chuckie and Martini were discussing strategy, and the conversation was getting animated. I went to them, Animal Planet trailing me.

  “We need to stop them here,” Martini said.

  “No argument. I’d like an idea of how.” Chuckie looked around. “Do we need to call in more agents, yours or mine?”

  “No.” They both looked at me. “Look, they’re the white side, okay? Accept it. We have no freaking idea of what they’re going to throw at us, just that it’s going to probably hurt. So our initial strategy has to be a reactive one. I don’t like it any more than you guys do, but that’s the reality. If we need more backup, we’ll call for it.”

  “If they don’t knock out telecommunications,” Chuckie said.

  “Too late,” Kevin was holding his phone. “Just tried to call for backup. No signal, no connection, nothing.”

  “They’re almost here, then.” I grabbed Martini’s hand and pulled him out of the group. Animal Planet followed. “Um, guys? Appreciate your slavish devotion to your assigned positions, but a little privacy?”