Alien in the Family

by Gini Koch

  We walked up the aisle. There were a lot of people watching us, but we only looked at each other. It was the most romantic thing I’d ever experienced.

  Reached the front. “We beat you,” Kimmie said.

  “You did. Fair and square.” Martini reached into his tux and pulled out his wallet, extracted two twenties, squatted down and handed one to each of them. “Well done. Raymond, you still have the rings?”

  “Yes, sir, Mister Martini.” He held out his fist.

  “Good man. Keep hold of them for a bit longer.” Martini stood up. “We’re ready.”

  Our parents looked at each other. “We’re supposed to do the big exchange,” Alfred said.

  Martini shrugged. “I know. Already took her.”

  “Works for me,” Mom said. “Let’s sit, for God’s sake.” I started laughing again.

  “Alfred, Lucinda? After you,” Dad said, doing the ushering into seats move. “Trust me, in the end, it doesn’t matter what kind of ceremony you have, just that you have one.” Martini’s parents shrugged, and all four of them took their seats.

  Martini moved us up in front of White. “I hear we’re on a schedule.”

  White made a display of checking his watch. “I believe we have time to actually perform the ceremony.”

  “Great. Let’s roll.”

  I caught Reader’s eye. “He sounds so street when he says that.”

  He cracked up. “Yeah, girlfriend, we’re all keepin’ it gangsta.”

  White cleared his throat. “Children, if I may?”

  “Sure, sure, sorry.” Martini sounded relaxed and happy. I stopped worrying about anything other than what I was supposed to do. He leaned down. “Richard tells you what to do. It’s simple.”

  “I’m the girl for the job then.”

  White rolled his eyes and moved into the ceremony. He had a lavaliere mike on, so he was easily heard through the huge room. The beginning was fairly standard and about the only thing similar to Earth ceremonies—gathered here to join, discussions of why we were worthy to marry, deep love for each other, commitment and fidelity, any objections. I was a little tense during that part, but no one said Martini was crazy to marry me, so all was well.

  As we moved into the official vows, things changed a bit. Christopher and Jareen each held one end of a long, shiny rope made out of some kind of metal. I’d never seen one like it before, but it was familiar, so I assumed it was the same metal as the Unity Necklace. As the vows began, they wrapped it around us. Each vow agreed to meant the rope was pulled a little tighter, until we were very close to each other.

  “Jeffrey, do you take Katherine as your wife, to hold her to you until death, only, parts you?”

  Martini looked right into my eyes. “I do.”

  My throat was tight again.

  “Katherine, do you take Jeffrey as your husband, to hold him to you until death, only, parts you?”

  I swallowed. I didn’t want my voice in dog-only register. “I do.” Martini gave me a long, slow smile.

  Raymond came over and handed us our rings. Martini took my hand, slid my engagement ring off, hooked it into the entwined wedding band, and slid it back onto my finger.

  “It’s beautiful, Jeff,” I whispered.

  I took his hand, he pulled it away. I looked up at him, wondering if he was upset with me. “Wrong hand,” he whispered, with a small grin. He offered his left hand, and I slid his ring on. He stared at it. “You picked this for me?” I nodded, as worry raised another fin. “It’s perfect.” He looked at me again, and his expression said the ring was telling him exactly what I wanted it to—how much I loved him.

  “These rings are symbols of your love and your union—unbroken, never ending, precious, never tarnishing, enduring and beautiful. And with the rings willingly given and happily received, as Sovereign Pontifex, I pronounce you married. What has been joined will never be broken, in this world or the next.”

  I heard a lot of quiet sobbing. But I was looking only at Martini. Who it dawned on me I should start thinking of as Jeff. Since my last name was now Martini, too.

  He grinned. “I don’t care how you think of me, as long as it’s as the man you love.”

  “Always, Jeff.”

  White cleared his throat. “Jeffrey, you may kiss your bride. Remember there are children present.” This got a good chuckle.

  Martini removed the veil and wrapped it around my shoulders. Then he took my face in his hands. “You’re mine, you know.” His eyes held mine and I knew the truth—I’d been his since the moment he’d told me his name.

  “Yes, Jeff. Only and always yours.”

  He bent and kissed me deeply. I’d been wrong before. This was the best kiss ever.

  CHAPTER 73

  THE KISS WAS WONDERFUL, but not too long. By our standards, anyway.

  Christopher and Jareen untied the rope, and White came to us. He hugged Martini, who I was going to start thinking of as Jeff any minute now, then hugged me. “My dear Miss Katt,” he whispered, “let me be the first to call you by your married name, and know I do it with great joy and pride.”

  He let me go and turned to the audience. “Beloved guests, please welcome Jeffrey and Katherine Martini.”

  We got a standing-O, led by Chuckie and Brian who were still working at not cracking up. I was kind of impressed, though.

  Martini grinned. “First act as a married man is to tell you all to get over to the other ballroom right next door. All that running worked up an appetite.”

  This was met with cheers and laughter, as everyone did what he said. “You’re so good with the Commander thing.”

  “I command you to wear that dress every day on our honeymoon.”

  “Nice try. But no.”

  He sighed. “Your father warned me about this.” He scooped me up into his arms. “Can’t hold you the way I like in this dress. So, I guess it’s okay if you don’t want to wear it all the time.”

  I kissed him. “You’re so good to me.”

  He put me back down. “True, true.”

  Christopher shook his head. “Only the two of you would have ended up turning your wedding into a track meet.”

  “It could have been worse.”

  “Yeah, we might have had a superbeing formation.” Christopher looked around, as if he were waiting for something. “Well, small favors, I guess.”

  “Yeah, that’s how I feel about it.”

  “I see why we paraded all over the room,” Jareen said. “Sort of just ends and everyone wanders off.”

  “Not normally,” Jerry told her. “Only when Kitty’s involved.”

  Reader came over and pulled me away from Martini. Jeff. Guy I was now married to. Reader hugged me tightly. “You looked great. Even upside down.”

  “Yeah, the twins stayed inside.”

  “For the most part.” He laughed. “Next wedding I run, I’m not going to be in the wedding party.”

  “Don’t count on it. You’re the guy everyone wants with them, James.”

  He kissed my cheek. “Tell me that later.” He let go, and there was a twinkle in his eyes.

  “What are you planning now?”

  Reader just grinned at me. He put his arm around Gower, and they headed to the ballroom.

  Martini made sure no guests or members of the wedding party were straggling. Once we were alone, he stroked my face. “So, wedding of your dreams?”

  I thought about it. “Married the most gorgeous, wonderful man in the galaxy, so yeah, pretty much.” He took my hand and led me back down the aisle. “We running away already?”

  Martini laughed. “No. I just wanted to walk down the aisle with you this way, as a married couple.” We looked at each other the whole way. It was romantic and sexy. We reached the end, and I flung myself at him. He gathered me up and kissed me, deeply, passionately, and for a long time.

  I heard someone tap a microphone. “Jeff, if you and Kitty can stop making out for a minute, the rest of us are starving.” Christop
her sounded as though he was trying not to laugh.

  Martini ended our kiss, sighed, and let me slide back to the floor. “No problem. I sleep with you tonight, not him.” He swept me up into his arms and strode through the now empty ballroom into the bigger, very full ballroom. “They’ll be pretending to faint from hunger if I let you walk it.”

  “Humph.”

  He grinned. “Really. Wear this on our honeymoon.”

  I rolled my eyes. “We can play Chase Me, Chase Me or Pretend Attacker tonight, you know. The suite’s big enough.”

  “Mmmm.” His eyelids dropped and he purred. “I love how you think.”

  We got to the head table, and things started to blur again. Lots of great food. Lots of long speeches, some funny, some touching, some dull. Reader cut off the dull ones, earning himself yet another gold star in drill sergeanting.

  “Only known Kitty and Jeff a short time,” Jareen said for her toast. “But once you find your soul sister, she’s yours for life. So, take good care of her, Jeff—you don’t want to find out how we avenge our sisters out my way. We make Renata’s girls look like babies. Oh, and Kitty? Way to go on landing His Royal Hotness.” The girls in my wedding party were howling by the time she was done, Wahoa almost literally.

  Christopher got the mike. “I’ve had no choice but to know Jeff all my life.” Lots of A-C chuckles for this. “But if I’d been able to pick the person who I’d go through everything with, risk my life every day with, and even fight with, I couldn’t have found anybody better than Jeff, even if I’d searched through two solar systems.” I heard sniffles from the audience. He closed his eyes for a moment. I took a fast look—Martini was trying not to lose it.

  Christopher opened his eyes. “Jeff, I’ve told this to Kitty, but I don’t think I’ve ever been man enough to say it to you. You’re more than my cousin, more than a brother, even. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and many times a better friend than I deserved, and . . . I love you.”

  People were sobbing. I was teary. Martini was really trying not to lose it. So was Christopher. He took a deep breath. “She’s the greatest girl, Jeff, and you’re perfect with her and for her. You make each other better, and you make other people better, me especially, because of how you are together. And if anyone was going to come along and force me to share you, I thank God every day it was Kitty.”

  I joined the rest of the audience and started sobbing. Martini got up and hugged Christopher. I knew they were both shedding the manly tears while I was busy wiping my eyes on the tablecloth. They separated, and Martini pulled me up and we did the group hug thing that was so popular among the A-Cs. I heard more sobs.

  “You two are just a couple of softies, you know that.”

  They both laughed and kissed my cheeks, at the same time. More unison stuff. I didn’t mind this kind of unison at all, though.

  No one wanted to follow Christopher’s act, so we were mercifully done with the toasts. Next up was the cake, which we did have. I had no idea if Reader had already ordered it or if Pierre had come through again, but either way, it was great—chocolate with white buttercream frosting. No figurines on it, just the symbol for eternity on top. It was a real piece of artwork, not food. Apparently an A-C custom—we would keep it somewhere in our home at all times. I thought it was romantic. I was getting big on the romantic feelings.

  Cut the cake, Jeff (ha!) did not do the smash it in the face thing, further proof I’d picked the right guy. Then it was time for the first dance.

  We had a deejay and a karaoke machine. I had reservations about the karaoke but decided not to worry until I had to. The deejay looked familiar. I got closer. “Pierre?”

  “MC Peterman here, darling. Oooh, is this our lucky groom? It was hard to get a clear view while you two were practicing for the Boston Marathon.”

  “Yes. Jeff, this is Pierre, uh, Peter, uh, the Peterman. My hairdresser from today. And the guy who found the people to do my veil and get the flowers and probably other things James needed.”

  “Like a decent deejay, darling.”

  Martini—Jeff—stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Kitty, darling, I understand why you’re hanging your hat with this one. Charmed, Jeff. I’d shake, but I must keep the tunes going. Darlings, did we have a special ‘our song’ for the first dance?”

  We looked at each other. “Uh, no.”

  “Leaving that one to Jimmy too, were we?”

  “No, just didn’t think about it. It’s been kind of whirlwind.”

  Martini got a funny look on his face. He let go of my hand and walked around the equipment to whisper something in Pierre’s ear. “Oooh, darling, are you sure?” Martini whispered again. “Ahhh . . . no, darling, no more explanations needed. I’m sure our darling girl will swoon.”

  Martini led me to the dance floor. Reader had the mike and was doing the usual emcee stuff to get everyone around to watch us dance. The music started, and it was a song I knew well also—“Angel” by Aerosmith.

  Martini pulled me into his arms and led me in a slow dance that worked well with the song’s rhythm. I didn’t know the dance, but it didn’t matter—I had no problem following his lead, and all I wanted was to be in his arms, anyway. My throat was tight again. “You are my angel,” he whispered to me. “I promise I’ll never let my jealousy keep us unhappy and apart, even for an hour. And I want you to know—every word of this song is how I feel about you.” Pierre called that right—I did almost swoon.

  All things end, and awesome rock songs sooner than you want them to. The music died away.

  Reader was back on the mike. “Normally we’d do the parents’ dance right now, but we like to mess it up around here. So I thought we’d play our team’s official song.” I looked at him, hoping he caught my WTF expression. Then “Keepin’ it Gangsta” by Fabolous and a bunch of other rappers came on. I started to howl.

  “I don’t get this song,” Martini said within three chords.

  “You’re so street, Jeff, and you don’t get it? Let me show you how we roll downtown.” I stepped back from him a bit and went into some hip-hop moves I could do in my dress. Tim and Reader joined me on either side. A-Cs might have it over us in speed, but we could out hip their hop without any problem.

  Christopher and Gower joined us and stood next to Martini. “This is half of Alpha Team, you realize that?” Christopher asked.

  “Yeah, and we’re gonna teach the three of you how to dance like this, too.”

  Christopher and Gower shook their heads. Martini grinned. “Move on over, Tim.” He moved next to me and started doing the same hip-hop moves we were.

  “You really can dance to anything, Jeff.” I found this ability a major turn-on.

  He grinned. “Anything I can do to keep you happy.”

  Song ended, we got a round of applause. Now it was time for the parents to come on and dance with us. Dad and I danced to “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” by good old Maurice Chevalier, Martini and his mother danced to “The Perfect Fan” by the Backstreet Boys, then I danced with Alfred while Martini danced with my mother to “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. Then the parents danced with their spouses, and I was back with Martini, dancing to Sting’s “Fields of Gold.”

  The rest of the guests started to join in, wedding party first, then the couples split up and started dancing with their real mates. Reader and Gower pulled Queen Renata in to dance with them.

  Pierre moved the song into Sting’s “When We Dance.” Martini pulled me closer, and I leaned my head on his chest. “You really don’t regret marrying an alien?”

  I nuzzled closer. “Nope. Have a hard time sleeping without a double-heartbeat right next to me.”

  The music ended and Reader had the mike again. “We have a little thing we’d like to do for the bride . . . and to remind the groom to never get complacent.” He was grinning, and I got a little nervous.

  They put chairs for us at the end of the dance floor farthest f
rom the deejay. Then the karaoke machine was fired up. Reader jerked his head, and he wasn’t alone up there any more—Christopher, Chuckie, Gower, Brian, all my flyboys, Tim, and Tito were there with him.

  “Hit it,” Reader said, and the song started—Elton John’s “Kiss the Bride.” I started the laughing that so easily turns into hysterics.

  Reader had a great voice, and he could really move, too. I found myself wondering why he hadn’t gone for a musical career. The rest of the guys were joining in, all on the chorus, some on more of the song. Hearing all of them sing out, “I wanna kiss the bride” was pretty funny and darned flattering and also kind of embarrassing. I risked a look at Martini. He appeared to be vacillating between shock and amusement, but he didn’t look upset. The rest of the guests were enjoying it, if the cheers were any indication.

  During the musical solo portion of the music, Reader pulled me out of my chair and handed me off to Christopher. Got a peck on the lips, passed to Gower, same thing. Next to Tim, then to Brian, Jerry, Joe, Randy, Walker, Hughes, and Tito, who handed me off to Chuckie. Got the requisite peck on the lips and a wink. Then I was spun back to Reader for the last part of the song. He twirled me up next to him, arm tight around my waist. Dipped me at the end of the song and gave me the final peck on the lips.

  Thunderous applause as he brought me up. I hugged him around his neck. “James, that was awesome. Everyone was great, but you were fabulous.”

  He grinned. “Glad you liked it. Think Jeff’s gonna kill me?”

  “Nah,” Martini said from behind me. “You all got your last kisses from her.” He looked over at Pierre. “MC Peterman, you have a tango in there anywhere?”

  “Of course, darling, I have everything.”

  The beat started up, and Martini moved me into the alien tango. Since the first time he’d danced with me like this I’d loved it. The dance was wild, sexy, and enthralling. And, as always, by the time the dance was over and my chest was pressed against his, my body curved back, with one of his arms on my upper back and the other pressing my pelvis against his, I was ready to go over the edge.