They got up at five to catch his early flight. They were both exhausted, only sleeping a few hours the night before. They’d stayed at Kate’s Friday night and spent Saturday on the boat, trying to hide in their own little world, avoiding clocks and calls and anything else that could’ve reminded them they were dead men walking.
After the sun had set, they’d returned to the house, and Jack had packed in silence while Kate stayed on the deck. They’d spent the rest of the night making love, never having enough, never willing to accept it was the last time. The words they were afraid to voice were spoken through their bodies. It wasn’t until exhaustion had overtaken them that they were willing to simply lie in one another’s arms and finally lose to sleep.
Kate wandered around the house, trying to keep busy, stacking dirty dishes and then restacking them, folding the same towel over and over. Jack had wanted to hire a maid to clean up after they left, but she insisted he didn’t. She didn’t want some stranger invading their special place. Besides, cleaning up after their week would surely give her closure.
She looked under the bed five different times for a sock or pair of shorts that might have been forgotten. Keeping busy was her lifeline. She wanted to send Jack off on a positive note, not with an image of her waving good-bye while sobbing.
“Kate, it’s time to go,” he called out from the living room.
Her heart fluttered, then cracked, but she walked out to the living room with a smile planted on her face. “It’s just the mother in me making sure you have everything.” She headed straight to the car.
The drive to the airport was agonizing. They might as well have been headed to a funeral. The only conversation consisted of small talk about flight times, layovers, and time zones. Kate considered the irony of it all. She’d first met Jack on casual terms; they’d never had the traditional client relationship. And now, after spending the week as lovers, she was sending him off as if he were a business acquaintance she’d met the hour before.
After a while, there was no talking. The pain was too overwhelming for her. As they approached the terminal, her stomach knotted. She took shallow breaths when they stopped at the curb, the pain in her chest unbearable.
Kate painted on a face that would be described by most people as composed, but she knew Jack could read her eyes. He’d seen them full of passion, joy, anger, and sadness. Now they were full of pain. And she saw the same in his.
“Kate.”
She heard it in his voice; he wanted to comfort her. He was so good at that, but she’d crumble if he tried now. “It’s been an amazing week. Thank you for everything.”
Jack smiled tenderly. “It’s been the best.”
Thank you. “You’d better go. You’re traveling halfway around the world. You don’t want to miss your first flight.” Her words trembled, but she held on.
“Good-bye, Kate.”
“Bye, Jack.”
When he got out of the car, he turned and smiled. One more image for her to cherish. Then, he shut the door.
The fairy tale had ended. Kate took shallow breaths to control the pain. She felt the trunk close, all remnants of Jack now gone.
When Ethan got back in the car, he turned to her. “Are you ready, Ms. Livingston?” His face was full of concern. They both knew he was really thinking, “Are you going to lose it now?”
“Do I have a choice?” She choked out a ghost of a laugh.
“Would you like to go back to the house?”
“No. I want to go to my home.”
“Very good.” He turned around, but she caught him looking at her in the rearview mirror. “If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.”
“Thanks, Ethan. I just need to get home as soon as possible.”
“Right away.”
He was pulling away from the curb when a loud pounding on the window made Kate jump. She turned and found Jack mouthing, “Stop.”
“Stop the car! Ethan, stop the car!”
As soon as Ethan slammed on the brakes, Jack had her door open, pulling her out of the car and into his arms. He took her face in his hands and said, “I couldn’t leave like that.”
Kate covered his hands with hers. “I know, I know.”
He kissed her. It was soft, but so full of unspoken words—longing, grief, acceptance.
When he broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers. “Remember this.” He pulled back to gaze into her eyes. “Remember, Kate.”
“Always,” she said, nodding her head, unable to stop the tears from falling. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he held her in a tight embrace.
They were frozen in this covenant when a deputy stepped up. “Hey . . . You two. This isn’t the stinking Titanic. Enough with the good-bying. Lady, get your car out of this lane. Now! And you, sir, get back to your luggage pronto unless you want to be delayed all day with security searches.”
They broke apart, but Jack wouldn’t stop looking at her. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to, but Kate answered anyway. “Always.”
Chapter 25
When Kate returned home, she stripped off her clothes and climbed into bed. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally, but sleep evaded her. She considered taking a sleeping pill but decided it would throw off her sleep cycle. She had to rest tonight. The kids would be home tomorrow. Thank God for my babies. Thinking about them eased the weight on her heart.
Finally, she got up, put on sloppy sweats and an old T-shirt, and went downstairs to make coffee. If she could get enough caffeine, she was sure she could shake the overwhelming sense of exhaustion. That’s what she told herself. She pulled up Pandora, selecting Chopin’s nocturnes. The soft, dark melodies reflected her mood. She wasn’t ready to start the recuperation process.
After three cups of coffee, she still wasn’t ready to get out of her chair. She was content to stare at the wall. She was so zoned out she jumped when the doorbell rang. She ran to the door, hoping it would be Jack, saying he couldn’t leave. That he needed her too much.
But it was Sue. Kate opened the door, trying to mask her disappointment. “Hey,” was all she could muster.
“Hey, yourself,” Sue said as she walked into the house. “Got any coffee?”
“Yeah. Help yourself.” Kate was grateful it was Sue. She had no desire to make an effort at hospitality. That was the beauty of their friendship.
Kate followed her and refreshed her own cup. They moved into the living room and sat on the couch, Sue facing Kate, scrutinizing her, as she was so apt to do without any qualm. Kate stared into her cup.
“How are you doing?” Sue asked, never one to mince words.
Still looking into her cup, Kate answered, “Okay.”
“You sure about that? You look like crap.”
Kate sighed heavily. “I’m okay, all right. It is what it is.” She sat down her cup and played with her watch. “I knew what I was getting into. If you’re going to play like a big girl, this is how it goes, right?” She finally looked up at Sue, hoping to find confirmation, some answer, anything that would minimize the pain that was overtaking her. Instead, she saw eyes of sympathy.
“The kids are coming home tomorrow. It feels like they’ve been gone for a lifetime.” She had lived another life in their absence. Kate fought to keep it together. “I can’t wait—” A sob erupted before she could finish.
Sue gathered her in her arms and held her while Kate bawled. “Oh, sweetie,” was all that Sue said. Kate was grateful that she didn’t offer platitudes that she wasn’t ready to hear. There were no words that would take away this pain.
Kate pulled away. “God, Sue. I didn’t know. I was so stupid thinking I could do something like this. That there’d be no consequences.”
Sue got up and brought her a box of Kleenex.
“Thanks,” Kate said, blowing her nose. She took a deep breath and then her shoulders started to shake again. “It hurts so much. What am I going to do?” With that, the sobs began again, and she fel
l back into Sue’s arms.
She held on to her friend for dear life, while Sue patted her back. No words were needed.
Eventually, Kate was able to gain control and stop crying. She looked at Sue and laughed. “I’ve ruined your shirt.” The shoulder of Sue’s linen blouse was drenched from tears.
“No biggy. I didn’t really like it. Makes my boobs look small.” Sue smiled at her, gentleness in her eyes.
Kate laughed, and then took a ragged breath. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me, too.” Sue squeezed Kate’s hand. “Do you feel like going for a drive or something that’ll get you out of the house?”
“No. I know I should, but I’m not ready to look on the bright side of life. Besides, I have to get over to Maggie’s and clean up. We left the place a total mess.” More tears came, but silently this time. “I have to finish that before the kids get home.”
“Hell no! You’re not going over there. That’s the last place you need to be . . . the scene of the crime.”
“Sue, I don’t have a choice.”
“Bullshit.” Sue waved her hand at Kate as if she didn’t have a clue. “Don’t worry. We’re going to take care of you.”
“What are you—”
Before Kate could finish her question, Sue was on her cell. “Dean, as soon as you get this message, get over to Kate’s. She needs you. And bring some pimento cheese.”
“You told him?” Even as she said the words, Kate realized she didn’t care. She could trust Dean.
“It was a little hard to keep him in the dark when you dropped off the face of the Earth. Here.” Sue handed Kate a new tissue.
Sue walked over to the window and jerked the blinds open. “He’s your friend. We talked about this, and he knew this was coming. He wants to be here, too. Now let’s turn off this damn suicide music before I stick my head in the oven. I mean, really, Kate. I know it hurts, but what were you thinking?”
“It’s Chopin,” Kate argued.
“It’s shit as far as what you need right now.” Sue walked over to the couch and pulled Kate up. “Now get up and take a shower. And for God’s sake, put on something decent.”
After her shower, Kate came down in shorts and a coordinating top, but her eyes were so puffy she could’ve been wearing Gucci and she still would’ve looked like crap. Dean was in the kitchen with Sue. He walked over and grabbed her up in a bear hug. “Oh, Lil’ Momma,” he said tenderly, rocking her back and forth.
Kate hugged him back. “Don’t get me started. My eyes are almost swollen shut. She stood back and attempted to smile at him. “Thanks for coming. You didn’t have to.” More tears rolled down her cheeks. “But it means a lot.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
Sue interrupted the special moment. “I’m heading over to Maggie’s to do the Hazel thing.” She set a pimento cheese sandwich on the kitchen table. “You eat this and tell Dean what you need from the store. He can get the groceries while you take a nap. I should be done by then, and then we’ll go get something for dinner.”
Kate looked up at her, pleading with her eyes to forgo the latter suggestion.
“Fine,” Sue responded. “We can order in.”
It was five hours later when Sue returned to find Dean holding a sobbing Kate in his arms. She walked over to the couch on which they were seated. “The nap didn’t help, huh?”
“It did,” Kate mumbled. “It was the movie. It was so sad.” She wiped at the tears that continued to fall, and then tossed the used tissue into the wastebasket that was overflowing with its predecessors.
“Dean, I need you to help me with something in the kitchen.”
Once they were in the kitchen, Sue lowered her voice, but Kate could still hear the conversation.
“What is she talking about? What movie was so sad?”
“Marley and Me. I thought it might make her laugh, but the dog died. Did you know that?”
“Everybody in America knows that, idiot. Why didn’t you just rent Old Yeller and hand her a razor?”
“Now hold on, priss. Did you see the previews? It’s supposed to be a comedy. Hell, Owen Wilson’s in it. I wasn’t expecting Schindler’s List.”
Kate heard the refrigerator door open. “You want a beer,” Dean asked Sue.
“Sure.”
“So what took you so long? Did you take a nap?”
“Hell, no! I’ve been working this entire time. You wouldn’t believe the sheets I had to wash. It’s a miracle she can still walk.”
“No kidding?” Dean asked. There was a tone of excited curiosity in his voice.
“I can hear you!” Kate hollered.
Her friends headed back to the living room. “I love you all to death for everything you’ve done, but please, don’t talk about my sex life.”
“Fine,” Dean said. “Just let me say, good for you!”
“Amen,” Sue added.
Kate couldn’t help herself. She smiled. When she looked at her friends, she saw the relief in their faces. “What would I do without you two?”
“A lot of laundry,” Sue answered, and then laughed. Kate followed suit, and then Dean joined in. Their laughs continued longer than the joke demanded, but it was a good emotional release for all of them.
“You all have been so good to me. Thank you. I don’t think I would’ve made it through the day without you. I’d probably be unconscious from dehydration.”
Sue and Dean sat down on each side of her. Sue put her arm around her. “It’ll get better. I promise.”
“We’re here for you, Lil’ Momma,” Dean added.
Kate squeezed their hands and nodded. Tears formed, but this time they didn’t fall.
Chapter 26
Kate waited impatiently at the gate. She didn’t understand what could be taking the kids so long to get off the plane. It seemed as if every other person had exited five minutes earlier. What if they’d missed their connection in Dallas? What if the airline attendant had lost track of them and Madeline had forgotten to use the family restroom and Charlie had gone into the men’s room and some sick man had chloroformed him and escaped from the airport before the Amber Alert had been issued? Stop. No crazy.
Just as she headed toward the gate attendant, she saw them. They’re so big! Kate couldn’t get over how much older they looked. They hadn’t spotted her yet, and she took advantage of the opportunity to watch them. Charlie was eating a huge cookie, his mouth covered in chocolate. Madeline was holding his hand, protective as always. That’s my girl. They were as tan as butter beans, and their blonde hair was two shades lighter than when they left. No doubt, they’d enjoyed the beach. Thank you, God, for keeping them safe.
Charlie spotted her first. “Mom!”
“Hey, baby!” She ran to meet them at the end of the Jetway. She was thrilled to see that Madeline looked just as excited to see her.
“Mom!” Charlie yelled again, and ran into her arms, wrapping around her waist, sharing his cookie with her shirt. She didn’t care. She hoisted him up, surprised at his weight. “Oh my boy, you’re so heavy. I’ve missed you so much.” She covered his face with kisses before setting him down. She turned to Madeline. “Come here, honey.”
“Hey, Mom.” The twelve-year-old didn’t run into her mom’s arms, but she let Kate hug her tightly. Madeline seemed just as happy to be home. When Kate pulled back, she studied Madeline’s face. “Look at you, honey. So grown up. You just keep getting prettier and prettier.”
Unable to help herself, she reached around and grabbed both children in another exuberant hug. “I’ve missed you both so much.”
“What’s wrong with your eyes, Mom? They’re all puffy and red,” Madeline asked, staring at her. “Have you been crying?”
Kate wasn’t about to talk to her kids about Jack or her emotional meltdown after his departure. “No. I’ve just had a terrible time with allergies. I know I look dreadful. Remind me to take some medicine when we get home.” Madeline nodded but looked at her
skeptically.
“What did you do on your vacation?” she asked.
Kate hesitated but decided to share just a little of what had been pure happiness. Her kids needed to know she’d had fun as well. “I spent time with a friend who was in town. We went sailing a lot.”
“Who was it?” Madeline asked, ever curious.
“You wouldn’t know hi . . . them. It’s a friend of Aunt Maggie’s and Uncle Peter’s.” Grabbing the kids for one more hug, she ended further questions. “I’m so glad you’re home. Now let’s get your bags and go. I’m making your favorite tonight—sliders.”
That night, after they’d filled their bellies with greasy burgers and recalled all the wonders of California, the kids fell asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows. Kate wasn’t as fortunate. She was exhausted, but her mind kept travelling back to Jack. She wondered if he’d arrived in India. If he was excited to start on the new project. If he missed her. If his heart hurt like hers. She wondered if she was a terrible mother to be thinking of him so much after her children had come home.
The jumbled thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps coming down the hall. As was his custom, Charlie climbed on her bed as his means of introduction.
Kate leaned up on her elbows. “Hey, pumpkin. What are you doing up?”
“I had a nightmare.” He crawled up beside her.
“Come here.” Kate threw back the covers and pulled him into her arms, snuggling him close. “Sweet boy. It was just a dream. It’s over. You’re safe.”
“It was terrible. There were these soldiers, and I was fighting with them, oh, and we had these cool snake uniforms, and then these puppets came out of the woods—”
Lord, not the puppets. Kate stroked his back while he recounted every detail of the dream. Soon she realized he wasn’t as frightened as he was eager to climb into bed with his momma and talk about his dream. And what a dream. As he continued with his narration, Kate imagined he could give Steven Spielberg a run for his money.
Charlie’s storytelling seemed to relax him, but Kate even more. This was normal. This was how it was supposed to be. She’d had a hell of a time in Vegas, but she didn’t belong there. She was home now. Her heart would mend, she knew from experience. It would take time, but life would go on. There was comfort in that truth. The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was the invasion of puppets riding on the backs of goats.
Then He Showed Up Page 20
