Life Unexpected

by J A Stone

  After her ritualistic early-morning throw-up, Corey grabbed the newspaper and decided to go out to a deli for some breakfast. She wanted to stay out of that potentially unhealthy house as much as possible. She was nibbling on a cinnamon-raisin bagel and skimming the front page of the metro section when she came across a headline that read: Chemotherapy Patients Can Still Be Parents by Going to the Bank. It was a feel-good story about how more and more cancer patients were freezing their sperm or eggs in order to have children after chemotherapy.

  Corey’s heart started pumping rapidly, not exactly like a panic attack—but something similar. She remembered how Luke’s doctor had suggested that Luke might want to do such a thing. He hadn’t. Luke had said if he recovered, they would adopt. But Corey was sure that no one knew that he hadn’t. What if she told everyone that she was artificially inseminated with Luke’s sperm? That way, the baby would be cloaked in respectability. The firm could pass Corey off as a pregnant widow carrying her late husband’s baby, and Tripp would never have to know that he was the father.

  Of course, there was the ethical issue of denying Tripp his rights as a parent. And there was Nancy to consider. How could she let an eighty-seven-year-old woman believe that a baby with no biological connection to her was her grandchild? But, Corey rationalized, if they had adopted, the child would have had no biological connection and still would have been her grandchild. The artificial-insemination story was beginning to seem more and more plausible to her. Also, for some strange reason, she had a feeling that Luke wouldn’t object to her actions. They had tried for so long to have a baby that somehow her pregnancy felt more connected to Luke than the distant and faint memory of her night with Tripp.

  Corey went to the library to learn everything she possibly could about artificial insemination. People would ask questions, and she must know exactly how to answer. She even researched obstetricians and found one who appeared to be good and was conveniently located close to her office. With the next day being Sunday, Corey decided she might as well start the ball rolling with her mother-in-law. In some ways, Nancy would be the hardest person to tell, but in other ways, she would be the easiest. If Corey could get over the guilt, and actually get the words out of her mouth, she knew Nancy would not ask a lot of questions about the process. Luke, please forgive me for lying to your mother.

  The next day, Corey felt as though she were on a racetrack as the Sunday-afternoon drivers flew by her on I-75. It was a good twenty-minute drive out to Peachtree Wilden, which gave Corey plenty of time to think about what she was about to do. Corey imagined Nancy sitting in her tiny one-bedroom apartment, watching television, and waiting for her to arrive. The resident director had expressed concern to Corey that Nancy never took advantage of any of the many social and recreational activities that she was paying for by living there. Each time Corey visited her, Nancy seemed less like herself in some way than she had the week before. Last week, as she was leaving, the director had informed Corey that Nancy wasn’t coming down to eat in the restaurant anymore but had started taking her meals in her room.

  The entrance to Peachtree Wilden seemed more like the entrance to a country club than a retirement home, with its crystal chandeliers and expensive oil paintings. As Corey rode the elevator up to Nancy’s apartment, she felt as if she were standing on the edge of a cliff. Lying to Nancy would be like stepping off the edge, and there would be no going back. She couldn’t say, “Oh, my mistake, I’m actually pregnant by someone else and not your son.” Did she really want to do this?

  She knocked on Nancy’s door several times before it finally opened. Nancy’s disheveled appearance shocked Corey because she had never seen Nancy’s hair looking anything but perfectly groomed. She supposed that this week Nancy had given up on going to the hairdresser. Corey gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

  “Hi, darling,” Nancy said, welcoming her. The room was extremely warm and smelled strongly of something that Corey couldn’t identify but which made her feel slightly queasy.

  “Sit down, dear. Can I get you something to drink? I’ve got some iced tea made.”

  “Thank you,” Corey replied. “That would be nice. How have you been this week?”

  “I can’t complain. How are your renovations coming along?” Nancy walked slowly into her little kitchen nook and came back carefully, carrying two crystal glasses of iced tea.

  “The skylights and kitchen counters are in, but they’ve just started on the master bath, and dust is everywhere.”

  “Renovations can be so trying,” Nancy commiserated.

  Corey took a deep breath. “I have some big news.”

  “Are you dating someone, dear? Oh, I knew it was about time. You are so young. You know you have my blessing.”

  Corey was surprised. “No, I’m not dating, but I hope I will have your blessing anyway. Do you know what artificial insemination is?”

  “Of course.” Nancy looked confused and somewhat embarrassed.

  “Before Luke began chemotherapy,” Corey said, looking down at her hands in her lap, “his doctor recommended he freeze some of his sperm so that he might be able to have children afterward. I decided I wanted to have a child, so I underwent artificial insemination. I just found out I’m pregnant.”

  “Do you mean you’re having Luke’s baby?” Nancy asked incredulously.

  Corey finally looked up. She was disturbed to see that tears were beginning to drip down Nancy’s face. “Yes.” Corey prayed lightning wouldn’t strike her for such a bald-faced lie. “Please don’t be upset. Please don’t cry.”

  “Oh, my dear, can you not tell that these are tears of happiness? I’ve been sitting in this place for a year with nothing to look forward to, just waiting to die. Now you’ve given me a reason to live. How far along are you?”

  “About six weeks,” Corey lied. “I probably should have waited until I was farther along to tell you about the pregnancy, in case something happened. But I was too excited.”

  “Do you have morning sickness?”

  “Yes.”

  Nancy’s face suddenly brightened with a look of gladness that Corey hadn’t seen there for at least two years. “Then everything will be fine. Morning sickness is a real good sign. Now, you need to start eating lots of eggs and drinking milk. I know you don’t like milk, but drink it anyway—maybe ice cream if you can’t bring yourself to drink milk. Let’s go downstairs and get you some ice cream now. I think I’d like some too.”

  A couple of hours later, and after they’d both eaten an ice-cream cone, Corey started to leave. At the door, Nancy hugged her with a strength that belied her tiny stature. “You do not know how happy you have made me today. I wish I hadn’t moved so that I could be close by to help you with the baby.”

  As Corey drove home, she prayed that the happiness she’d brought to Nancy that day would negate the wrongness of the lies she’d told. With a sigh, she recognized that she’d made it over the first obstacle. Telling Diane tonight was going to be an even bigger challenge.

  Corey waited until she felt sure that Diane would be finished with dinner before she called.

  “Hello, Di, it’s Corey. How’s everybody doing?” After a minute or two of idle chitchat, Diane began to be suspicious.

  “Okay, sis, you never call just to chat. What’s going on?”

  “Are you sitting down?” Corey’s mouth went dry, and she felt almost dizzy.

  “Is this bad news?” Diane’s voice quivered just a bit. They’d had more than their share of those types of calls in the past.

  “I don’t think so.” Corey hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.

  “Are you dating someone?” Diane asked with sudden excitement in her voice.

  Corey wondered why everyone expected her to be dating. “No, but there will be someone new in my life in the near future.”

  “Okay, what gives?”

  “You know how I’ve wanted to have a baby for a while. Well, Luke’s doctor recommended that he freeze some of
his sperm before he started chemotherapy. So right after I came back from the beach, I was artificially inseminated, and I just found out I’m pregnant.”

  “What are you talking about?” Diane sounded exasperated. “Don’t kid around about stuff like that.”

  “I’m not kidding. I’m pregnant.”

  “If you’d been thinking about doing this, why didn’t you say something to me at the beach?” Diane asked in disbelief.

  “I . . . I was afraid you’d talk me out of it,” Corey stammered.

  “Why?” Diane challenged her.

  “Because I can’t even keep a plant alive, so you might not think me fit to be a mother.” Now that the lies were flowing, they seemed to be coming easier and easier.

  “Wow, I’m speechless. You know, Corey, having a baby can be pretty tough, and having one alone is going to be twice as tough.”

  “I’ll hire a nanny. Come on, Di, can’t you be happy for me?”

  “I just don’t understand it, Corey,” Diane said harshly. “You show up at the beach looking like some concentration-camp refugee. You seem barely able to take care of yourself, and now you’re having a baby? It just doesn’t make sense. Did you consider going to grief therapy instead?”

  Corey suddenly longed to tell Diane the truth. But fear of what would happen next stopped her. “I’ll talk to you later,” Corey said abruptly, and she hung up the phone.

  CHAPTER 9

  When the alarm went off at five thirty the next morning, Corey wanted to hit the “Snooze” button and go back to sleep. But she’d missed several days of exercise already, and she felt so much better when she was exercising regularly. The saltines she kept by her bed and snacked on immediately upon waking seemed to help with the morning sickness. And she knew exercise couldn’t hurt the baby because she’d known some women who exercised right up until the day they delivered. Once dressed in her exercise clothes, Corey actually felt pretty good. She grabbed some work clothes and her makeup bag and headed out for the fitness club.

  As she left the ladies’ locker room, Corey was surprised to see John Kowlowski come out of the men’s door.

  “Hi, John,” she said in greeting. “I’ve never seen you here before.”

  “Oh, I’m usually long gone by now.”

  Corey looked at him closely to see if he was trying to be funny, but as best she could tell, he was serious. She made a face indicating how impressed she was and stepped up on a treadmill. She was surprised when John stepped onto the treadmill beside her, as there were several other treadmills available a little farther away. Corey felt compelled to make small talk with him, so they chatted about the Inman deal while they were walking at a slow pace and warming up.

  After a while, they both adjusted their speeds to running, and their conversation stopped. Corey was thinking about the best way to break the news about her pregnancy to Larry, when she noticed that John had increased his speed so that his pace was somewhat faster than hers. She reached down and adjusted her speed to match his. When John moved his speed into a gallop, the competitiveness within Corey made her ramp up her speed as well. Corey felt as though she and John were actually in a race next to each other. She began to feel breathless and realized she should probably stop, but she didn’t. Corey wasn’t going to let John beat her. She could feel her heart hammering against her chest, and she was having more and more trouble catching her breath. Then, all of a sudden, everything went dark.

  The next thing Corey knew, she was lying on the floor behind the treadmill. John was leaning down next to her, and several other people were standing around her. She tried to sit up, but someone put a restraining hand on her; it was the guy who worked the front desk at the fitness club. “You need to wait for the EMTs to get here.”

  “What happened?” she asked hesitantly.

  “You blacked out.” John’s face was close over her. “Just suddenly collapsed on the treadmill and then rolled off the back.”

  Corey felt ridiculous. Of course she’d fainted. Didn’t pregnant women do that all the time? She tried to sit up again, but the fitness guy still had a death grip on her arm. “I’m fine, really. I don’t need to go to the emergency room.”

  “Sorry, but it’s club policy,” the guy said. “Here’s the EMTs now.”

  Two guys with a gurney came hurrying up to Corey. One looked hardened, as if he’d done everything and seen everything. The other looked about twelve years old. “Everything’s going to be okay; just relax,” the younger of the two reassured her.

  “Listen,” Corey said to the older guy, who was feeling her legs, “just let me sit up and make sure nothing is broken. I don’t need to go to the emergency room.”

  “We need to figure out why you fainted. Could be just blood sugar, or it could be something more serious,” he said.

  “Or,” Corey said, exasperated as the younger guy put a blood pressure cuff on her, “it could be because I’m pregnant.” The moment the words came out of her mouth, Corey wished she could pull them back in. She looked at John. His eyes were wide with shock.

  “Pregnant?” John repeated, as though he hadn’t heard her correctly.

  “Yes, I’m pregnant. I was artificially inseminated with my husband’s sperm while I was on vacation. I’m four weeks’ pregnant.”

  “In that case, we’ll make sure nothing’s broken and then let your doctor take it from here,” the older EMT said.

  “Thank you.”

  “Who’s your doctor?” The young guy had picked up a clipboard and was writing furiously on it.

  “Uh . . .” Corey was thankful that she’d done her research. “It’s Dr. Byrne. Dr. Pat Byrne.” She needed to call his office as soon as it opened and make an appointment.

  After a few more minutes of prodding and poking, finally the EMTs helped her stand up and watched her walk around a bit. “You’re probably going to have some bruising,” the old guy warned, “but nothing’s broken.” He looked at John. “You a friend of hers?”

  John nodded yes.

  “How ’bout you drive her home?”

  “I’m not going home. I’m going to work,” Corey said adamantly.

  “So I guess you want us to take you to the ER, after all?” the old guy asked facetiously.

  “No,” Corey answered. The old EMT was a tough nut, and he wasn’t going to go away easily.

  “Then go home until after you’ve seen your doctor.”

  “Okay, I’ll go home,” she muttered.

  “And you’ll take her home?” The old guy turned back to John.

  “Sure.”

  “Okay.” The EMTs started packing up their bag and, after one last look at Corey, rolled their gurney toward the door.

  Corey turned to John as soon as the door closed behind them. “I’m not going home.”

  “I know, but are you sure that’s wise?”

  Corey thought John seemed genuinely concerned about her. “I’ll be smarter than I was on that treadmill. I was running so hard because I didn’t want you to beat me, you know.”

  John looked at her curiously for a moment or two. “I know. I was running so fast because I wanted to beat you.”

  An understanding silence hung between them. Corey realized that the competition they’d disguised for years was finally out in the open. Corey studied John’s face carefully. “I haven’t told Larry about my condition yet. Can we keep this between us for a little while?”

  “I won’t say anything, but you can’t keep news like this a secret for long. I wasn’t the only person from the firm who saw you collapse this morning, you know.”

  “I’m going to tell him today. I had planned to tell him today anyway,” Corey explained.

  “Good luck,” John offered, and for once Corey sensed that he was being completely sincere. “You’ve really surprised me today, Corey. I thought the firm was your life.”

  Corey suddenly realized that John’s concern about her and his openness with her was because he no longer considered her a threat. In his mi
nd, she’d dropped out of the race to become a partner.

  “Yeah . . . well . . . it is a big part of my life,” Corey stated tersely, “but I decided I needed more in my life than just a job. Thanks for your help, John.” Corey turned and walked into the ladies’ locker room. She figured she had about thirty minutes until Larry would be in his office, and she needed to be there when he showed up.

  Barbara wasn’t at her desk when Corey arrived. Corey tapped on Larry’s office door just in case he’d come in early. When she heard him call, “Come in,” Corey entered tentatively. Larry was bent over, looking into a minifridge that had been cleverly designed to hide behind a wall panel. He glanced over at Corey but didn’t stop his search.

  “Got a few minutes?” Corey asked, her voice strained.

  “Sure, come on in. You want a Coke or some water? Seems there’s everything in here except a Diet Coke.”

  “No, I’m good.” Corey’s voice quivered. She was more nervous about telling Larry than she had been about telling Diane.

  “What’s up?” he asked, finally pulling out a Diet Coke and holding it up like a trophy.

  “I have an exciting announcement,” Corey said with the widest smile she could muster.

  Corey suddenly had Larry’s full attention. “You better not have taken a job with another firm.”

  “I wouldn’t do that to you,” Corey said honestly, and then bluntly, “I’m pregnant.”

  Larry looked thoroughly confused. “What did you say?”

  “I was artificially inseminated with Luke’s sperm during my vacation, and I’m pregnant.”

  Larry stared at her unblinkingly for a moment or two. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “How about saying you’re happy for me?” Corey suggested.

  “No, I’m thinking more like, have you gone crazy? I don’t understand. Why would you do something like that?” Larry asked incredulously.