by Ava Thorpe
As he was leaving the condo, something on the kitchen counter caught his eye. There was a note haphazardly strewn on top of a folded jersey. Seeing it was addressed to him, Luke flipped the note open, reading the message.
This is one of my game worn ones. Wear it to the game later, it said. It was signed by Carter, in a neat, handwritten scrawl that took Luke by surprise. He’d expected Carter to have messy handwriting, but Carter’s note had proved the opposite. Luke folded the letter again and pocketed it, before unfurling the jersey.
It was the Admirals’ red jersey, with white trim and embroidery. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he didn’t expect Carter to give him a game worn jersey. It belonged to Carter himself. It was much too big for him, but Luke was looking forward to wearing it. Luke ran his fingers over the stitching of Carter’s last name on the back. The thought of wearing something that belonged to Carter, something that had Carter’s name emblazoned all over it, it made Luke feel fluttery. There was something intensely personal about it that made Luke feel almost special.
He nixed the thought right away. He couldn’t go down that road, even if he wanted to. What he had with Carter—it was fun. Casual.
What did he expect? For Carter to buy him a brand new jersey? It was nothing, and Luke was making it into something that wasn’t there.
He shook his head, unsettled, and let himself out of the condo, locking the door behind him. While he had originally planned on taking transit to the arena, Luke ended up driving instead. It would have taken him over an hour to get to Kanata by transit, where the arena was located, whereas it was only a twenty minute drive from Carter’s condo on a good day.
It took him longer than usual to get to the arena, but Luke had expected that. It was game day, after all. What he didn’t expect was the mad house at the parking lot of the arena. It was every man for himself, and Luke almost got into an accident trying to find somewhere to park.
“Where are you?” he said into his phone, once Zarwah had picked up the other line. He started walking towards the entrance, shivering as the cold air hit his face. It was back to normal cold, winter weather, and the slight reprieve they had in temperature a few days ago was gone without a trace.
“By the ticketing booths inside,” she said.
Luke sped up his steps to a light jog. The sooner he got inside, the better. He was freezing his ass off. He hoped Zarwah hadn’t been waiting long. Carter had told him he’d reserved two tickets under Luke’s name, and he’d immediately asked Zarwah if she wanted to come. Luckily, Zarwah had been free for the day.
“Hey, Z,” he greeted once he spotted her. He gave her a quick hug, pulling them into the line at the ticket collection booth.
“Chris is super jealous, by the way,” she said. Zarwah’s boyfriend was a huge Admirals fan, and Luke could imagine the lament he must have had when Zarwah told him about the game, especially when Z had the same hockey knowledge as Luke: virtually nothing.
Luke grinned cheekily at her. “We’ll just have to take tons of pictures for him then. Wouldn’t want him to feel left out, of course.”
Z swatted him. “You’re such an asshole,” she said, but she snorted out a laugh. “I should be nicer. He drove me here.”
The line moved speedily along, and by the time they knew it, it was their turn to be served. Luke was asked for the name the ticket was reserved under.
“Last name Bailey, first name Luke,” he said. Then more hesitantly, “It was reserved by Carter Welling?”
The older lady at the booth looked completely disinterested, searching through her computer for Luke’s name. Then, she rummaged through a drawer behind her, and procured the tickets for them.
“Here we go, two for Bailey,” she said tonelessly. “Have a great game.”
She moved him along, calling out for the next customer, and Luke almost bristled at her abrasiveness.
“Someone hates her job,” Z said as they walked towards the ticket inspectors.
Luke gave her one of the tickets. “Can you blame her, though? It doesn’t exactly look exciting.”
They gave their tickets to one of the inspectors. “Section 115, go straight, then to your left, down to the lower bowl,” he’d said. “Enjoy your game.” This guy was marginally more excited than the last person Luke spoke with, at least.
The arena was packed. They had a few minutes before the game started, and Luke eyed the line to one of the concession stands. “Should we get beer?” he asked. “That’s tradition, right?”
“I think so,” Z replied. She looked at the line and whistled. “Long line, though. But hey, who are we to break tradition? It’s part of the experience. Or something like that.”
Luke laughed. It was clear Z felt just as out of place as he did. “Yeah, let’s get a drink. I don’t know if I want to get smashed at my first hockey game, no matter how traditional that may be, but a drink would probably be good.”
They braved the line, and by the time they’d gotten their beers and found their seats, the game was already underway. It was impressive—they were sitting close to the glass, near the penalty boxes. Luke felt so close to the action. He spotted Carter as soon as he sat down, following him with his eyes as Carter dashed through the ice.
“Chris is really going to be jealous, wow. Even I can tell these are great seats,” Z said beside him. She took a sip of her beer, making a disappointed face. “This beer, though. I can’t believe I paid $10 for this thing.”
Luke could commiserate. He bought food with his drink, after forgetting to eat lunch, and the total was a pretty penny. At least he didn’t have to buy the tickets. He was going to have to give Carter a thank you kiss later for setting this up.
Settling in his chair, Luke tried to follow the game as best he could. He knew some stuff now, but he still didn’t understand a lot of the nuances of the game. It didn’t help that hockey was fast. He knew that from watching some of the games on TV, but seeing it in action live, it was a whole different thing entirely.
His neck hurt from craning side to side, making sure he didn’t miss any of the plays while Carter was on the ice. Carter looked powerful. There was no other word for it. While he could tell that Carter wasn’t as quick as Ash or Alex Ovechkin from the other team, what Carter lacked in speed, he made up for in sheer, unstoppable force.
He was barreling through his opponents like they were nothing. Each time he threw a hit, the crowd went nuts, and Luke couldn’t help but join in with them.
Carter was amazing.
He was also hot as fuck. Luke couldn’t help but feel turned on as he watched Carter fly across the ice. He squirmed in his seat, trying to calm down his libido. He was in a public place, for fuck’s sake, surrounded by thousands of other people. This was not the place to drool over his boyf—it was not the place to drool over Carter.
The first period ended faster than he’d anticipated. The score was still 0-0, and Luke found he was actually starting to feel invested in the results. He wanted the Admirals to win. It was too bad Washington was playing amazingly.
He was startled when his phone vibrated. It was from Carter. Furrowing his brow, he slid his thumb over the screen.
Where are you? Did you make it to the game? Carter texted.
Luke immediately sent a text back. Yes, sorry, we were a little late. You’re not half bad there, sailor ;).
I’m amazing, don’t even front, Carter texted back, making Luke throw his head back in mirth. Then a second later, another text came. I’ll be on the look out for you next period.
“Is that the boyfriend?” Z asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “He’s pretty good. I think. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be following.”
“Not my boyfriend,” Luke reminded her quietly. He tried to ignore the pang of sadness rising in him. “He’s playing really well. I knew he was good, but it’s different in person, you know?”
Z just rolled her eyes at him. “Not your boyfriend? Seems like a lie, but okay,” she said, si
ng-song. “I approve, though. He’s cute.”
Luke scoffed. “Thanks, I’m glad I have your approval for this non-existent relationship.” He put his phone away, focusing on the game once the buzzer signaling the start of the period rang.
The rest of the game unfolded at a steady clip. There was a moment where Luke felt his throat close up as he watched Carter take a big hit from Ovechkin, but Carter got up without a hitch, and he was able to breathe normally again.
Hockey could be scary sometimes—dangerous—and Luke couldn’t help but feel worried for Carter. Still, Carter knew what he was doing, and Luke had to believe in that.
Carter didn’t score a goal, but the Admirals eked out a very narrow win, 2-1, over Washington. Not bad at all, considering for a good part of the game, Luke wasn’t sure if the Admirals were going to be able to beat Ovechkin and his team.
“How are you getting home?” he asked Zarwah, as he got comfortable in his seat. He was waiting for Carter. Luke didn’t know what the plan was, but at least he had an exit strategy in case Carter got pulled into other plans.
“Chris is on his way, he doesn’t live too far from here,” Z said, checking her phone. “I’m probably just going to sleep over and then head back to the city tomorrow. You?”
Right, Luke forgot that Chris basically lived in the suburbs. He didn’t know how Chris could stand it. There was nothing to do in this area, with only the arena and a mall area full of big box stores around.
“I’m not sure. Carter just asked me to wait for him,” he said, shrugging. He probably should have clarified the plan with Carter yesterday, but they were, ah, busy.
They didn’t really have time to do much talking, at least, not the coherent kind.
“We should all go out one day with your boy, so we can properly meet him,” she said. “Gotta make sure he’s good enough for you.”
“There’s nothing to vet. We’re just…whatever, you know?” Luke said again. Sure, sometimes Luke thought about having more—wanting more—with Carter. But wishes and reality don’t often mix. Carter and him were just casual. That was Luke’s reality.
Z placed her hands on her hips. “Fine, fine, but still, he should go out with us one night. You may say he’s not your boyfriend, but he’s been taking an awful lot of your time lately.”
“I’ll ask him,” he promised. It would be nice to go out with his friends and Carter. He wondered what they’d think of him. Chris, of course, would be happy to meet him, but Ben, Elaine, and the rest of the gang didn’t care about sports.
“Anyway, I should go, Chris is close.” She gave Luke a hug. “I’ll see you soon? Hopefully?”
Luke nodded. “Definitely soon.”
He watched as Z walked up the stairs towards the exit. He didn’t have to wait long, though, because a few minutes later, he felt someone squeezing his shoulders from behind.
“Hey,” Carter greeted sunnily, before taking a seat beside him. He was freshly showered, with his hair sticking up all over the place. “You ready?”
Carter was wearing a suit that clung to his body, his dress shirt open at the top. He looked amazing, and Luke had to tamp down the dirty, steamy thoughts taking over his mind.
Instead, he looked down at his own attire and suddenly felt underdressed. Who knew hockey players wore suits?
“Yeah, I’m ready. Where are we going? It’s not anywhere formal, is it?” he asked, feeling self-conscious.
Carter must have picked up on it, because he said, “Oh, I was thinking of dropping by the condo first to let Puck out and change. Need to get out of this suit—they make us wear them during game day. Then we can grab a bite to eat down the street? There’s a good sushi place there that’s open late.”
Luke breathed a sigh of relief. He could do sushi. “That sounds good. I wasn’t sure if we were still going out, so I drove. I’ll follow you home?”
“Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s go home.”
Carter led him up the stairs, and they walked quietly towards the parking lot.
Home.
The word echoed in Luke’s head. It was startling, the realization of it all, but there was no denying the truth. Somehow, without him realizing it, Carter’s condo had slowly become his home.
Carter had become his home.
“You okay?” Carter asked.
Luke was scared. Terrified. He’d never felt this way for anyone before. He could only hope Carter felt the same way back.
He nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, never better.”
Chapter Sixteen
Carter
Carter hated road trips to the west coast. He knew he should be more grateful—after all, there are hundreds of thousands of guys who would kill to be in his position. He couldn’t deny his distaste for long road trips out in that corner of the continent, though.
It wreaked a havoc on his body. He was never good at adjusting to time differences, and having to hop between three different ones gave him headaches.
It was a long road trip, too, lasting almost two weeks. They had games all throughout western Canada, then down to California, then to Denver before heading back home to Ottawa for a couple of days of rest.
It was a lot.
He didn’t know how Max handled it. Nashville had one of the worst schedules in the league, traversing from one time zone to another on an almost weekly basis. Carter had no room to complain, not when his best friend had an infinitely worse schedule.
Except, well, Max had Chase, his boyfriend, with him. He didn’t have to leave Chase behind for weeks at a time. It was the perks of dating a hockey player, Carter guessed.
Max didn’t have to miss Chase—not like Carter missed Luke.
It was only the second day of the road trip, and already, Carter was restless. He couldn’t stop thinking about Luke. Luke and his never-ending smiles, Luke and his terrible jokes. Luke and his searing kisses.
It was a novel feeling. It wasn’t like Carter never missed his family or his friends. After all, Ottawa was a fair distance from Victoria. This was different.
He could feel it in his bones, this longing he had for Luke. It consumed him. He’d been looking forward to their Facetime sessions like he looked forward to hockey games.
The more he spent time with Luke, the more it was increasingly becoming clear that Carter’s feelings were growing. It wasn’t just casual anymore, not for him, and part of him didn’t know what to do.
He’d never been in a relationship with a man before. Everything was new to him, and he felt unsteady.
“That your dog-walker again?” Jared asked as they rode the bus to the practice facility in Winnipeg.
Carter turned off his screen, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Yeah, it’s Luke. He’s not just my dog-walker,” he said. It didn’t feel right just calling Luke his dog-walker. He was so much more than that.
“Friend, then?” Jared asked hesitantly, like he was unsure of what to say.
“Friend, yeah,” Carter said. It felt weird calling Luke his friend, too, but he didn’t know how else to describe him to Jared. His fuck buddy? The guy he sometimes had sex with? His boyfriend? Carter shivered at the last one. Boyfriend. It was different, but not entirely an unwelcome thought. “He’s been staying at the condo while I’m away.”
Jared’s brows furrowed. “For Puck?” he asked.
Carter supposed that was a good reason, but it wasn’t the main reason he thought of when he suggested the idea of staying at his place to Luke. He just liked the idea of having Luke in his house. “Yeah, partially. It is good for Puck to have company. This road trip is too long, man,” he said. “Plus Luke has midterms coming up. He needed a place to study.”
Jared looked at him intently. “That’s very nice of you,” he said quietly. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t say anything further.
He was acting weirdly, and Carter wondered if Jared suspected there was something more between Luke and him. He hoped it wouldn’t be a problem, if he di
d come out about Luke. Jared was his friend—he’d like to continue being friends with the guy. Before he could think of it, though, his phone made a noise.
It was a picture of Puck and Luke on the couch, with the message, Puck misses you.
Carter’s chest tightened. He traced over the picture, taking in Luke’s bright, beaming face. God, he missed the man. It gnawed at him, and without thinking, he punched on the call button.
It rang a couple of times before Luke picked up. “Carter?” Luke asked, surprised. “I thought you were on the way to practice.”
“We are,” Carter said, glancing beside him at Jared. Jared gave him a small smile, before turning to his iPad. It was clear Jared was giving him a little privacy. “We’re almost there, but I just. I wanted to…”
Carter didn’t know what he wanted, didn’t know what he expected out of the phone call, but hearing Luke’s voice made the tightness in his chest ebb away slowly.
I miss you, he wanted to say, but it felt too personal, too intimate for a bus full of hockey players. “How’s my boy?” he asked instead.
“Puck is fine. Bad, as usual,” Luke started. He gave a rundown of what happened during their walk, and Carter settled into his seat, letting Luke’s voice wash over him. It was a comfort he didn’t know he needed, not until now.
When Luke was finished, he cleared his throat. “You there? I didn’t bore you, did I?”
Carter shook his head, before remembering he was on the phone, and Luke couldn’t see him. “No, no, I’m listening. I’m glad you guys had a good time at the park,” he said. “How are you? How’s studying?”
Luke made a sad noise. “Hateful. I’ve gotten a little behind on my reading, and now I have to do a ton of it. It’s awful.”
Carter could imagine Luke pouting on the other line, and he smiled to himself. “Which class is this for?”
“My political science one.” Luke shushed Puck in the background gently.
“Swee—Luke,” he said, almost catching himself at the endearment. They came out so easily when it came to Luke. “You should have just dropped that course. You hate it.” Carter wished there was something more he could do. He didn’t like it when Luke was sad.
