Lone Wolf Standing
Page 17
“Do you cook?” she asked once they had left the drive-through window of Chang Li’s and were on their way to the cottage.
“I’m a bachelor, of course I cook,” he said. “If I have the time I can make a mean spaghetti sauce or a great pot of chili. I can cook a roast so tender it will make you weep.” He flashed her a quick smile. “I did a lot of cooking when I was in foster care.”
She nodded and stared out the passenger window. For some perverse reason she’d hoped he couldn’t cook. It would have been a definite negative strike against him and she desperately needed to think negatively about him in order to keep her fantasy, her dream alive.
She was grateful when they reached the cottage and she could leave the car that smelled of him. Outside the air smelled of fresh pines and sweet flowers, not of familiar cologne and even more familiar male.
Highway greeted them at the door and she was dismayed to see that he appeared to be as happy to see Jimmy as he was to see her.
She carried the take-out bags into the kitchen where he got out plates and silverware, then pulled two diet sodas from the refrigerator.
It was all so familiar, all too easy, as if they’d been living together for months and she wasn’t sure why but suddenly it irritated her, he irritated her. He aggravated her because she liked him here.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” she asked once they were seated at the table across from each other.
“You mentioned to me that lots of people who know you believe that you’re a lot like your aunt. I want to know who the men are who have mentioned this to you,” he said.
She looked at him in surprise. “As a matter of fact somebody said that very thing to me today.”
“Who?” Jimmy took a bite of his chicken and gazed at her curiously.
“Edward Cardell.”
Jimmy raised a dark brow. “He came into the store?”
“Yeah, surprised the heck out of me,” Sheri admitted.
“What did he want?”
“He said he’d heard that I’d had some trouble and he wanted to tell me that he was sorry to hear about it.” She frowned thoughtfully. “It was kind of weird. He’s never been in the store before.”
She watched Jimmy chew slowly, his brow creased in thought. Drat the man. Why did he have to be so handsome? Why couldn’t he be the blond-haired, blue-eyed prince she’d been waiting for?
“I think maybe we’ll have another chat with Edward,” he finally said. “Can you think of anyone else who has mentioned that you remind them of Liz?”
“Just Abe and now Edward. Why are you asking me this?” She suddenly felt ill at ease by the conversation.
“It was just part of a theory we kicked around today.” He looked down at his plate, as if unwilling to meet her gaze.
“What kind of a theory?” Sheri’s heart beat an unsteady rhythm. Had they come up with something? Had they found out something that had to do with Aunt Liz? “Jimmy, you’re scaring me.”
His gaze shot up to meet hers and he immediately reached for her hand across the table. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He squeezed her hand and then released it. “We’re kicking around the idea that maybe somebody kidnapped your aunt Liz and for one reason or another is now after you because you’re so much like her.”
She studied him for a long moment as his words tumbled in her brain and finally locked into place. “S-so your th-theory is that s-somebody kidnapped A-Aunt L-Liz and probably k-killed her and now that p-person is trying to r-replace her with me.” She bit her tongue hard in an effort to halt the stutter.
“It’s just a theory, Sheri,” Jimmy said softly. His gaze was soft, so tender as it lingered on her. “It’s only one of many theories.”
She shoved her plate aside, her hunger gone along with any irritation she’d felt toward him. Rather she was filled with the need for him to hold her, to make sense of a world that no longer made any sense.
“Your newest theory scares me more than I already was scared,” she confessed.
“That wasn’t my intention.”
Sheri scooted away from the table and went to stand by the window and stared out at her backyard. She drew several long, deep breaths in an effort to control the emotions that suddenly felt wildly out of control.
“Sheri?”
She heard the sound of Jimmy’s chair scooting back from the table and tensed. She relaxed when she felt his presence behind her but he didn’t touch her in any way.
Leaning her head against the windowpane, she closed her eyes. “Even though I thought I was preparing myself for the possibility that Aunt Liz is dead, your new theory leaves no room for her to be alive.”
She opened her eyes and her tears of grief blurred her vision. She heard the thump of Highway’s cast as he came to where she stood. He gave a soft whine, as if sensing the depths of her sadness. “If you think the man who chased me in the woods might want me to replace Aunt Liz, then that means for sure she’s dead.”
“Our theory could be wrong,” Jimmy said softly. “We’ve had lots of wrong theories about everything.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and she wanted nothing more than to turn around and fall into his arms. She needed to weep the sadness, the fear out of her heart, out of her very bones.
But she had to stop using him, somehow she had to stop needing and wanting him. She straightened her shoulders and shrugged off his hands. As he took a step back from her she turned and faced him with renewed strength.
“You’ve gotten your question answered, now let’s finish our meal.” She stepped around him, not meeting his gaze, and returned to the table.
While they finished the dinner, she told him about Isaaic Zooker being nice to her, that Michael Arello was working out nicely at the store and he repeated what Steve had mentioned over lunch about Roxy redecorating Tommy’s bedroom.
“I’m not sure who’s going to get to the altar first,” Sheri said. “Steve and Roxy have been talking about a wedding, but I have a feeling it’s very possible Marlene and Frank will sneak one in while Roxy is still dithering about all the details. She wants it to be the biggest social event the town has ever seen.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Jimmy asked drily.
He fell silent then, concentrating on the food and occasionally looking at her with dark eyes and an expression she couldn’t read.
It was obvious he had something else on his mind, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what it was. She didn’t want to explore further theories about Aunt Liz. She didn’t want to talk any more about what had happened to her and Highway. She was tired of it all.
What she wanted to do was get him out of her space, him with his handsome face and beautiful eyes. He commanded the space around him wherever he was and in the small interior of her kitchen his natural power and maleness was nearly overwhelming.
They finally finished the meal and he helped with the quick cleanup of the kitchen and then she walked him to the front door.
“I’ll drive myself to work tomorrow,” she finally said as he opened the door. He jerked around and opened his mouth in what she knew was going to be a protest, but she held up a hand to halt whatever words he was about to speak.
“It only makes sense. I’m meeting Roxy and Marlene and Ramona at the Dollhouse right after the store closes, so I’ll leave the store and go directly there. I imagine our meeting won’t take long and I’ll be just fine. Besides, we can’t keep up your babysitting of me forever.”
“I haven’t minded,” he said.
“And I’ve appreciated it, but I’ll take the shotgun with me in the truck. From now on it will go wherever I go. Highway will keep me safe here. You have more important things to do than take all the extra time driving me back and forth to work every day. I’ll be fine without you.”
His dark eyes studied her and he remained as still as a statue. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure I’ll be fine without you.” He drew in a visible deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Sheri.”
Chapter 14
He hadn’t intended to say the words. He’d decided that he’d never tell her how he felt about her, but it just slipped out and the result was exactly what he expected.
Her eyes opened wide and the faint smile that had been on her lips fell away. She reeled backward and stumbled to the sofa. “Oh, no, Jimmy. You can’t be. You’re obviously just confused.”
He left the door and tossed a bright yellow pillow from the chocolate-brown chair across from the sofa and sat, loving her with his gaze, with every fiber of his being. “I might be many things, Sheri, but I’m not confused about what I feel for you.”
“We’ve just been spending so much time together, almost acting like husband and wife. You’ve played such an important role in my life for these last couple of weeks. You’re mistaking love for something else...fondness...friendship...” She floundered as she stared at the coffee table.
“Sheri, look at me.” He waited until she lifted her gaze to meet his. “I’m not mistaken and I’m not confused. I know I’m not the man you want in your life, but I had to tell you how I felt about you.”
He should have kept his mouth shut, he thought. Telling somebody you love them shouldn’t put such pain and misery on their face. “I think I fell in love with you a little bit the very first time you came into the station with your sisters to talk about your aunt’s disappearance. I feel magic when I’m with you.”
“I can’t cook. I’m cranky in the mornings,” she protested.
“As I recall, you can be quite magnificent in the mornings,” he said with a teasing tone.
Once again she broke eye contact with him as her cheeks flared with color. “That shouldn’t have happened. It obviously gave you the wrong idea and made you believe that you’re in love with me.”
“Making love with you was incredible, but that’s not the only reason why I love you. I love the way you make everyone feel welcome when they walk into your store. I like how your eyes reflect your emotions and that your smile melts something inside me. I love talking to you about everything and nothing.”
“Jimmy.” The single word sounded as if she was in agony and when she raised her eyes to look at him once again, the agony was in her gaze. “Stop. Please stop. It’s just wrong. We’ve gotten too close under the circumstances. I’ve obviously been giving you mixed signals and for that I’m sorry.”
He’d hoped that she’d have some kind of an epiphany, that she’d suddenly realize her idea of a handsome prince was foolishness and that she was really in love with him. But she obviously didn’t feel the same way about him as he did about her.
He stood and forced a smile. “I guess the good thing about this is that I’ve always feared that I wouldn’t know how, that I wouldn’t be capable of loving anyone. The bad thing is I fell in love with the wrong woman.”
He didn’t wait for her to reply, but rather stood and hurried to the door. When he reached it he turned back to her. “Don’t worry, Sheri. This doesn’t change anything between us. I still intend to watch over you, to make sure you stay safe. I will still be working the investigation with every fiber of my being. The only thing that will change is that I now realize I can’t go back to being your friend anymore. I’m in too deep to be satisfied with just being a friend.”
It was the longest speech he had ever given in his life and when he was finished he walked out the door, into the warm evening that did nothing to take away the ball of cold that had formed like a lump in his chest.
He should have never spoken his feelings aloud, he thought as he got into his car. He should have never confessed his love for her. Maybe if he’d waited, maybe if he’d given it more time, she would have eventually developed a tremendous love for him.
Even as he thought it, he knew it probably wasn’t true. Sheri was waiting for a fantasy and he hoped her prince showed up soon. She deserved a prince to bring her happy ever after, to love her the way she needed to be loved.
What he’d learned from all this was a reconfirmation that he wasn’t meant to have love in his life, that he’d been marked by the very abandonment at the beginning of his life as a man who would want and not have. It was time to stop wanting and just accept the fact that he would always be alone.
* * *
He stood deep in the woods and watched the back of the cottage. The moonlight flooded down on it, painting it with silvery light.
His need, his desire had grown so big he could scarcely think about anything else anymore. His head was filled with only Sheri and his need to take her, to possess her.
He clenched his hands into fists at his sides as he thought of the dog. He’d thought he’d killed the beast that night in the woods. Using a wooden stick to slam into the dog’s leg, he’d heard the snap of bone and when the dog went down it had been relatively easy to plunge the syringe into his hide and empty it.
He’d been certain the dose had been lethal. He’d obviously underestimated the strength of the dog.
He had also underestimated Sheri’s skills, her speed and her will to survive. His hands clenched tighter as he thought of how she’d fought him. That whole night had been a failure of mammoth proportions.
Detective Carmani had been vigilant in keeping an eye on Sheri since then and now the devil dog was back. Sheri would be too smart for him to attempt to take her from the woods once again.
He needed a new plan. He had to have her. The old one wouldn’t last much longer and he wanted Sheri in the bunker before Liz died.
His brain clicked and whirled with suppositions, with possibilities and when he finally had a plan that seemed viable, he smiled in the darkness.
Soon, sweet Sheri. Very soon she would join her aunt in the bunker and then he’d kill Liz and begin the training to make Sheri his perfect partner, the wife he needed.
* * *
He loved her. The words haunted Sheri’s sleep and stayed in her head the next morning as she got ready to head into the store. She wished he hadn’t told her. Life would be so much easier at the moment if she hadn’t heard those words from him.
He loved her and she was confused. He was nothing like what she’d dreamed of, nothing like the man who was supposed to appear in her life and be her future.
But his smile made her warm, his laughter tickled her, too. There was a part of her that wanted to heal all the wounds he’d ever experienced and another part of her that wanted to make love with him again and again.
Was she in love with him? She was so confused, unwilling to give up a dream and yet drawn to a red-blooded real man who could potentially be her happy ever after?
She needed some time to sort it all out in her head. The very last thing she had expected was for Jimmy to tell her that he was in love with her.
True to her word, when she left the cottage she carried the shotgun to her truck and placed it in the passenger seat next to her. As she left the cottage she looked for any vehicles following her, for anyone lurking about the property, but saw nothing suspicious.
She didn’t relax until she made it to the store and walked in with her shotgun in hand.
“If this is a stickup I can tell you the owner is really going to be mad,” Jennifer said from her perch behind the register.
“Just a little precaution since Jimmy isn’t bringing me into work anymore,” Sheri explained, storing the gun under the counter.
“I have some bad news for you,” Jennifer said.
Sheri mentally groaned. Just what she needed...bad news on top of everything else that was troubling her mind. “What bad news?”
“Abe isn’t coming in tonight. He called and said he’s sick with the flu.”
Jennifer shook her head. “Sorry, I’m usually available any night, but tonight I can’t. We’ve got a family reunion to attend and my mother would kill me if I didn’t go.”
“I’m not really comfortable leaving Michael in charge of closing up by himself,” Sheri said with a frown. “It’s not that I don’t trust him, but I just don’t think he’s ready to take care of closing out the register and making sure things are locked up.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I’ll just hang around to close up shop tonight. I’m meeting my sisters at the Dollhouse around eight-thirty, so I’ll just work the evening hours and then head on over there.”
“It’s going to be a really long day for you,” Jennifer said.
“That’s okay. I’ve done it plenty of times before.” Besides, today of all days she welcomed the extra work which would hopefully keep her from thinking of Jimmy and his shocking confession of love the night before.
At that moment the first customers arrived and the business day officially began.
Thankfully it was a busy day, with people stopping in on a regular basis. She and Jennifer were kept hopping until just after noon when there was the usual lull in the store.
Sheri holed up in her office, leaving Jennifer instructions to come and get her should the traffic get busy again. As Sheri eased down into the office chair, her thoughts went back to Jimmy.
Her feelings for him were a tangled mess that she didn’t know how to begin to sort out. On some level she knew she could love him, could be in love with him if she’d only allow it.
But the idea of releasing a long-held fantasy, of trusting a real flesh-and-blood man to take care of her heart was almost as terrifying as the idea of the man who had chased her through the woods.