Instinctual

by Amanda Mackey

  Kate’s body had fit into Jake’s perfectly.

  She looked down at her chest and noticed her nipples pebbled hard underneath her tee shirt. God! She seriously needed to learn some self-control. Rising to use the bathroom, she decided she needed to keep powering ahead with her work to keep her mind out of the gutter. It was the only way. The article was far from complete but she knew that it would only take a few more cups of coffee and some 80’s pop/rock tracks on her Apple iPod to help get into the zone and she’d have the article knocked over by say, 7 p.m.

  She put the thoughts of hot sex and Jake, which naturally went together in the same sentence, out of her mind. For God’s sake, she was still so mad at him and holding a hell of a grudge the size of the Grand Canyon that if she ever saw him face to face she’d knock his charming, delectable smile clean off his face.

  ***

  Midday raced into evening and the light outside morphed for the tenth time that day. Shadows danced on the buildings until darkness engulfed everything. Kate’s article was all but finished as she decided she’d had enough for one day. So much for relaxing and taking it easy and so much for not breaking her promise to Cindy. She’d get her article, but not today. Kate’s neck and back ached and her eyes felt gritty and dry. She stretched and rotated her head a few times to try and get rid of the kinks. The clock on the wall above the computer desk read 9 p.m. Her eyes bugged out of her head. What had happened to the 7 p.m. finish time?

  Her stomach growled angrily at her for not having fed it, so it was time to head outdoors and nourish her weary body. There was only so much black coffee one’s system could handle before it realized it was being tricked into thinking the dark, extra strong liquid was actually food.

  In the bedroom, Kate searched among some semi-warm clothes, deciding on a pair of black three quarter length pants, a plain white button-down shirt, and a lightweight synthetic cardigan with black sandals. She glanced at her pitiful array of clothes hanging in the wardrobe and let out a sigh. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d splurged on clothes. Apart from the fact that a decent boutique was towns away, keeping up with fashion really wasn’t her thing. If something still fit from three years ago, she’d wear it until it fell apart. It was as simple as that. She had a few nice dresses, four pairs of shorts, two pairs of jeans, the black pants she was in, a handful of t-shirts and jumpers, one pair of joggers, heels, and sandals, and that was it. The oversized wardrobe screamed out to be full but it was just never going to happen. She only had what she needed to have.

  Checking the carved, wooden wall mirror, Kate’s reflection shocked her. Who was this alien staring back? When had she become so tired looking? Had she aged overnight? Black circles under her eyes clung to a pale face while her hair lacked any sign of life whatsoever. Thank goodness it was dark. She needed to hide behind the mask of night to ensure she didn’t frighten the locals.

  She left the inside light on, flew down the stairs into the foyer, and eased out into the night.

  Vernazza felt alive on this particular evening. Diners casually strolled in and out of restaurants, revived from their afternoon siesta. Tourists, flocking in for the start of the festival the next day, filled the streets.

  The full-faced moon gleamed, sparkling like a giant diamond against the inky sky. Stars shimmered endlessly, blinking their eyes and keeping guard.

  Wandering past Mr. Matioli’s café, Kate was tempted to stop and indulge in his specialty, bruschetta, but the growing queue out the door had her rethink that idea. She loved Mr. Matioli. He epitomized the Italian man. Handsome. Distinguished. Jolly. Hard working and very likeable. She spotted him outside clearing some plates with his black, full-length apron on. His graying hair fell over his eyes as he worked. She hurried past so as not to get caught up chatting.

  Kate headed down to the Piazza Marconi by the harbor, deciding on her favorite seafood restaurant, Trattoria Gianni Franzi. The spaghetti pomodoro was to die for and she was salivating before even making it to the door. Famous for its seafood dishes, the recipes had remained the same for the last century. As a matter of fact, all the restaurants and cafés in Vernazza were Kate’s favorite. Each one had something unique to offer.

  It was about ten minutes before she proceeded up the queue to the counter. Kate surveyed the scene. Bottles of all shapes and sizes lined one wall, adding an old world charm to the small restaurant. Staff were all but running backwards and forwards into the kitchen, trying to keep up with the orders. The noise level would surely have broken the sound barrier.

  She’d really picked a busy night to be dining out, with visitors and locals packing the tables inside and out. During the cooler months it was inside dining only but when the patronage doubled, the canopied outdoor tables and white plastic chairs facing the unobstructed vast expanse of blue or in tonight’s case, ebony, were used.

  A flurry of aromas washed over Kate. Pizza. Pasta and seafood. Her stomach lurched in anticipation as she ordered, then searched for somewhere to sit.

  She spied a couple of middle-aged people getting up to pay their bill and nabbed the only remaining table outside before someone else did. She literally felt like she was dining out on the street as her plastic chair rocked unevenly on the cobbled road. The archaic, red brick building with green window shutters did a good job of hiding the hive of activity inside due to the flurry of orange and blue umbrellas practically on top of each other on the outdoor tables. The floors above the restaurant housed a quaint, small-roomed hotel with views to die for and the best of the town at its door. There was a “no vacancy” sign out front.

  Kate let her shoulders drop and relaxed into the atmosphere and view, happy to blend in to the town’s activity. She belonged here.

  She felt truly blessed to be able to live somewhere so picturesque while still earning a living. It really was the best of both worlds. Remembering her father’s words about going home, she had to smile. Home was where the heart was and her heart was definitely in Vernazza. She doubted she’d blend back into the Western culture now after having lived and breathed the Italian way of life for so long. She was as much a part of it as it was of her. No. Her father would just have to accept the fact that this was where she wanted to be, regardless of how much she missed her parents.

  After about half an hour a waiter emerged with spaghetti and a glass of red wine.

  “Grazie!” Kate grinned as the waiter placed everything in front of her.

  She was so tempted to dive head first into the oversized portion of al-dente pasta and tomato sauce but the crowded street held her back. Instead, she ate like a lady until the giant hole in her gut lessened in size and the embarrassing bubbling noises subsided.

  Kate wondered what Carlos was doing. He’d probably eaten alone. Maybe she should have called and invited him to join her. After all, he wasn’t leaving until tomorrow. She’d been so caught up in work that it hadn’t even crossed her mind. He was probably in bed now, though, getting an early night for his trip. She let herself off the guilt hook by thinking that. For some strange reason, she was actually enjoying her own boring company tonight, being able to practically inhale the spaghetti ravenously while watching passersby strolling, chatting, and enjoying the cloudless night as much as she was.

  Vernazza had the X-Factor, that certain quaintness, oozing history with a hint of elegance. Something special that defied explanation. It was the perfect piece of paradise. Regardless of the fact that it held painful memories, it had also been her savior in times of need. Locals had embraced her as one of their own and rallied around to lift her spirits. It was so easy to shun the rest of the world and pretend it didn’t exist when everything she needed was right here.

  “So, my dad isn’t keen on me never returning to the United States? He’ll have to deal with that. I miss my family big time, but I’m not about to give up the solitude and serenity in my life right now to return to chaos. Let them visit me. It’s not as if they’re short of a dime. The force has been kind to Dad fina
ncially.” It was more thinking out loud than insanely talking to herself.

  Just as Kate was about to slurp up shreds of spaghetti that were too sparse to wind around the fork, she sensed someone watching her. Looking up, a dark stranger caught her eye. He seemed oddly out of place, even amongst the immaculately dressed Italians and tourists. It wasn’t so much the head to toe black garb or the sunglasses that still sat on top of his matching dark hair, or the fact that he was reading his tourist guide upside down. It was more the fact that she caught him eyeing her more than once in as many minutes. Every time Kate looked his way, he pretended to be reading his upside down guide, yet when she looked away she could feel his eyes return, drilling into her and watching her every move. A sudden shiver had her pulling her cardigan tightly across her chest, leaving the morsel of divine pasta on the plate and walking into the restaurant to pay the bill. From inside she could see the man only because he sat under an antique street light, otherwise he would have melted into the charcoal background. He was huge even sitting, his crew cut accentuating a large head. Muscles fought to stay contained beneath his tight clothing. He brought with him a sense of power that made her nervous.

  Kate stalled at the counter, hoping to buy some time by fumbling in her purse for the correct change. Home seemed miles away. Was he following her? Spying on her? Why?

  She needed to think and act fast. She desperately wanted to be behind locked doors in the sanctuary of her apartment. The one-man fan club outside had put his book down and was focused on the restaurant. Maybe he didn’t think she could see him watching from inside, but for a brief moment they appeared to be eye to eye. Kate didn’t like the look of him one little bit and could find no reason why he’d chosen to focus on her, especially given what she was wearing. Underneath the beauty and grace of Italy lay a very different world. An underworld of crime. Murder. Drugs and other unlawful goings-on. A world that stayed invisible to most people. Like a thorn in Italy’s side it was sitting below the surface, simmering. Carlos had always warned Kate of that and to be aware of it when she was out on her own but she’d shrugged it off nonchalantly, as if she’d already convinced herself that it didn’t affect her and she had no need of the knowledge. What horrible things could possibly happen in Vernazza?

  The saving grace of the evening came in the form of a rowdy mob of people walking past. At a guess there were twelve people, all adults. Some couples had their arms around each other and others walked side by side. Either way there was enough coverage for Kate to hide behind and ease into the night. Quickly, she exited and sank low, using the group as a human shield, feeling more like a criminal than an innocent woman trying to hide from a seedy stalker. Well, she didn’t actually think he was a seedy stalker or that he was going to hurt her, but he was focused on her for a reason and she wasn’t hanging around to find out what it was.

  Her plan seemed to have worked because soon her new allies had turned the corner out of view, merrily on their way to God knows where. The gentleman beside Kate slapped her on the back in a show of glee, raising her to her feet, real quick. She hoped she hadn’t gone from one fire into another. It appeared he thought Kate had decided to join their little soiree and was out for a night of boozy celebrations. She hated to break the bad news to him and didn’t know if he’d be able to understand it if she opened her mouth, so she just smiled and hurriedly walked on ahead, turning to make sure no one was following the group before detouring into a side street and running the rest of the way home. Once inside she locked the door, made sure all the windows were firmly shut, and pulled the curtains. It was a little unnerving to say the least. Things were getting weird.

  Pulling her cell phone from her pocket, she dialed Carlos’ number. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

  “Come on, pick up. I know you’re probably asleep, but answer, damn it.”

  Ring. Ring. It went straight to voice mail, so Kate put on her, “I’m happy and there is nothing wrong” voice and left a brief message, wishing him well on his insurance seminar tomorrow. If that’s even where he was going, which her all-knowing was telling her he wasn’t.

  Suddenly doubting her ability and wondering if she was just being skittish and un-necessarily distrustful, she undressed and crawled into bed, placing the phone on the bedside table just in case Carlos returned the call. She decided to leave the living room light on in case the boogieman chose to invade her villa in the middle of the night and then she snuggled deep under the covers, willing herself to think about festival day, hoping sleep would grab her quickly. It didn’t take long as she felt herself drift off, pushing aside the images of the dark man at the harbor.

  Chapter Five

  Brooding for most of the night and angry for the mistakes of old, the run down, detached house jutting precariously towards the ocean on the outskirts of town, had sheltered Jake for the night.

  What the hell was he doing? He wasn’t a part of Kate’s life anymore, that was clear. She was happy, obviously with a guy she loved. He should just go. Leave her to it. Ignore the pull. Leave the past behind. Move on. It was good in theory but to actually put it into practice was impossible. He was weak and selfish. To let Kate go would be to say goodbye to a part of himself forever.

  He just needed a glimpse. To see her. Those eyes that could feel like endless lashings when angry, yet like sizzling pools of fire when aroused. The need overpowered all else. She was the first thing he’d thought of since his predicament. In fact, at the moment, she was all he could think about. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he rose to look out the bedroom window towards the ocean.

  Would they still have that fervid bond? Well, he knew he still did, but would she? Would she be able to feel him in Vernazza? If her gift was still strong, surely she would. Maybe she could help him find answers. Could he be so bold as to ask her for help? Hell, he knew how well that would go down. “Hi, Kate. How have you been for the last five years? Would you mind getting me out of a bit of a jam?”

  First things first. He needed to see her.

  At a loose end, he ventured into town again, on foot this time via the hiking track, to see what the day would bring and to think things through. He didn’t need to walk but thought it might help him settle, taking in the unprecedented scenery while trying to sort through things in his head that had become jumbled and indistinct.

  Snippets of memories blurred his vision. Hot, steamy, summer nights spent with Kate, sharing the very vista to his right, promising her the world. Naked with just a sheet draped around them, standing facing the vast blue expanse, Jake’s arms tightly wrapped around her from behind, nuzzling her neck, whispering in her ear his love, over and over, Kate’s head thrown back on his shoulder, totally oblivious to the rest of the world.

  His whole body surged with pleasure just thinking about it. He only had to think her name and he was in agony with desire. His Kate. She would always be his. Time seemed to cease even when daydreaming of her and before he knew it the familiar haphazard, brightly washed buildings beckoned him forward.

  Pain like he’d never known. Running. British accent. It overcame him in a flash, cutting into his memory of Kate without any warning, causing him to stop walking and grab at the metal railing that framed one side of the walking track. He winced at the sudden onslaught, not liking the anger that came with it.

  A few people passed him by, looking on curiously as he clutched his head in response to the image overload.

  “Get it together, Jake. Breathe. They’re just memories. Not real anymore. Don’t let them get the better of you.” He whispered the chant between gritted teeth, needing to get his shit together and not lose it. The salty air seemed to help fade the assembly of snatched visions of his recent escapades and he was able to push on.

  The celebrations engulfed the stillness as he tried to rein in his emotions. Festivals in Italy were a big affair with people coming from far and wide to celebrate. Locals and tourists alike forgot their cares for days and nights, eating and drinking merrily, welcoming al
l who cared to stumble upon this slice of heaven.

  Jake needed a diversion to gather his thoughts and piece together a plan. He really did need Kate’s help to get him out of his own mess. Could he use that as an excuse for his return to Vernazza? Whether or not she would agree to assist him would remain to be seen.

  Confronting someone who was ready to sell his soul to the devil needed a little diplomacy. Getting her attention would be the first hurdle.

  It seemed like an instant and he was in the thick of it.

  He was glad to be back, if just for a flicker of a moment. Vernazza was in his blood and stole his heart all those years ago, when work had led the lovers here. It seemed a lifetime ago. He’d been young. Reckless. Invincible. Desperately in love. Traveling through the Cinque Terre region with Kate had left them enchanted by the picture-perfect beauty of the coastal region.

  Not very much had changed since his first visit and he imagined it would remain unchanged in the future, which was part of its allure.

  His toes started to tingle, spreading quickly to his legs and thighs. Before long his entire body was buzzing with static. An erotic thought sped across his mind so fast he stopped short. Kate.

  His keenly tuned radar led him further down the uneven cobbles of the main street, towards the town square where revelers were already drinking and becoming merry.

  “I need you, Kate. Now. More than ever. I need your help. Where are you? Feel me and guide me. I know you can. You are the only one. Use your gift.”

  He closed his eyes and waited for a signal, drinking in the warmth of the oversized sun, letting the buzz and constant hum of his energy settle down. Market stalls lined the small piazza, making it even more cramped than normal. Fishermen, fruit sellers, and crafters were all out to cash in on festival day. Buskers sang for their lives, nodding intermittently as coins were thrown into makeshift piggy banks. Restaurant tables made up the cramped space with chairs and umbrellas spilling out onto any available space. There was barely room to move with hordes of people zig-zagging through the clutter.