by Erin Trejo
“What’s goin’ on?” Draven asks. I don’t look at him. I don’t say shit. I stare at her.
“Get the fuck outta here, Draven,” I growl out the command, and at first he doesn’t move. It’s not until I glance over and he sees the demon coming out in me that he jumps up.
“Fuck. Let me know if you need me,” he says as he leaves.
I watch him stand and walk out the door when I grab Bray around the throat. I pull her toward me, her plate clattering to the floor.
“Who is the fuckin’ SEAL your daddy has?” Her eyes are wide as she looks at me. She tries to shake her head no but I squeeze tighter. “Don’t make this harder, Braylynn,” I growl in a deadly tone. Her eyes fill with tears before I release my grip on her. Her hand flies to her neck, rubbing the marks I’ve just left there.
“Old friend of my dad’s. He was supposed to be-” She cuts herself off to take a breath before looking up at me.
“To be what?” I ask when she doesn’t say anything.
“I was supposed to marry him. My dad set it up. When I tried to run, he’d hurt me. He let the other guys…hurt me.” Her tears stream down her cheeks. I reach over lifting her chin with my fingers forcing her gaze back to mine.
“What did they do to you?” She shakes her head not wanting to answer me. I squeeze her cheeks so hard that her lips pucker. “What did he let them do to you?”
“They raped me. They hit me. Kicked me. You name it, they did it.” Anger builds up inside my chest.
“The burns?” I ask keeping my grip on her face.
“Cigarettes.” I let go of her face and pull my hands away from her. She looks away from me now. I can’t blame her.
“Why force you to marry him?” I ask.
“Seals his place in the club. He wouldn’t dare walk if he was married to me,” she says with a hitch in her voice.
“Makes no sense.”
“It does if you think about it. I’m the only thing he’s ever wanted, but my dad wouldn’t give in to him. Now that he has skills that are of value, my dad will stop at nothing to keep him.”
“Even givin’ up his own daughter to a monster.” I run my hand through my hair when Bray turns to look at me.
“I can’t go back there. I get that you want to hurt them, hurt me, but I can’t. You don’t understand what he’d do to me, Smokey,” she cries. I turn my head and watch her.
“What makes you think I care what happens to you?”
I can’t say the words out loud, but deep down, I know I care what happens to her.
Chapter 20
The next week is a blur. The Aces left but not without a word with Stone first. He has orders to get whatever the fuck he can out of Ninja. We are working on some intel of our own here too. I’ve avoided Braylynn. I don’t know what to say to her or how to look at her now. She looked at me like I was going to save her from her own reality. I can’t do that. Not when all I want is to satisfy my own dark needs.
“Bri!” I snap when I see her walk past in that little mini skirt. Her eyes brighten when she turns around to look at me.
“What do you need, Smokey?” I nod toward my dick, watching her drop to her knees. As soon as she pulls my dick free, I groan. The side door opens just as Bri sucks me into her mouth, my eyes connecting with Bray’s. I reach down and tug at Bri’s hair until she sobs around my dick. Bray watches for a second before something sparks in her eyes. She turns and heads back toward the door when I yell.
“Don’t you fuckin’ walk away!” I nod toward Decan to block the door which he does. Bray turns slowly to look at me. I crook my finger at her, motioning for her to come to me. She shakes her head slowly when I yank Bri off my dick. I shove her to side, not caring that she fell to the floor. I tuck my dick back in my jeans but don’t buckle them as I walk toward her. I reach up when I’m close enough, grabbing her around the back of the neck and pulling her toward me. Our faces are inches apart.
“What was that look?” I ask her. She tries to pull away but that’s not happening. “Answer me,” I growl low in my throat. “Did you want your lips wrapped around me?”
Her eyes jerk back to mine. I dig my nails into the back of her neck, shoving her down to her knees. With my free hand, I pull my dick out once again. I grip it and bring it to her lips. I twirl it over the softness before she opens up for me. Bray sucks me into her mouth. I let out a groan as my eyes roll back. Fuck, her mouth is so fucking perfect.
“You like that, little flower?” I grab her hair in my hand, fisting it tightly as I guide her. Bray sucks and twirls her tongue and fuck! Bray moans around my dick, the noise vibrating through me. My breathing picks up the harder she sucks me. I can feel my balls tighten right before I blow down her throat. Bray eagerly swallows all that I offer. I release her hair and pull her up before tucking my dick back in my jeans. I drag her toward me, my mouth crashing into hers. Decan grunts, no doubt having a hard-on of his own.
My tongue dives into her mouth, stroking and sucking her tongue. My heart beats rapidly in my chest. Her hands wrap around my neck, pulling me impossibly closer to her. I walk her backward until her body slams into the wall. My hands slide around her waist, gripping her ass roughly in my hands. Bray’s breathing comes rapidly, the feel of her heart beat slamming against my own. I move my hands around front, sliding it into the front of her shorts. I groan when I feel how wet she is. Her pants are off and her bottom half is naked when I lift her, wrapping her legs around my waist. Our lips crash into each other. The only sound in the room is us.
“Hold on tight,” I warn her before my dick shoves inside of her. She moans before I fuck her roughly against the wall. Her legs tighten around me, holding me in place. I buck my hips as her pussy clenches around me. I pull my mouth from hers and suck my way down her neck. When I feel her ready to shatter, I bit into her flesh. Bray screams out her release letting everyone in the room know just how fucking good it was. I come with her, a high sizzling its way through my system. I jerk inside of her as the rest of what I have to offer fills her. Her head falls to my shoulder when I hear the applause.
I pull out of Bray letting her slide to the floor before I slip my dick back in my jeans.
“Fuck off.” I mutter under my breath when the guys laugh. Bray grabs her pants and yanks them on quickly before trying to step around me. I grab her wrist and pull her back roughly, her small body slamming in mine.
“Stay here. We’re gonna eat,” I tell her. She looks up at me and that sad look is still there. I don’t know what she wants from me. I’m starting to doubt what I want from her. I’m debating the whole fucking thing. The revenge. The hate. All of it. I pull Bray along with me as we get stares from some of the guys and the whores. Not like I give a damn.
“What’s this?” Hawk asks when I usher Bray into a seat.
“Dinner. What the fuck it look like?” I glance over with a grin. Hawk nods his head looking from Bray back to me.
“Hope you know what you’re doin’.” His eyes pierce right through me.
“I don’t, Hawk,” I tell him the truth. I have no fucking clue what I’m doing anymore.
“Fair enough.” He laughs before taking a seat.
We all sit in a strange silence while we eat. Bray has hardly touched anything on her plate. I know she has to be hungry.
“Eat somethin’,” I tell her. She glances up at me and nods slightly. She doesn’t eat though. I sigh and run my hand through my hair.
“I gotta get the fuck outta here,” I grumble. I shove my chair back and stand before heading straight toward the door. The night air hits my skin. It’s a slight relief though. The things that are rushing my senses are unknown to me. I’ve never had a problem with suppressing my feelings. Aside from my family, I didn’t feel shit.
“I’m sorry if I’m making things harder.” Her voice is so gentle yet I feel like I could snap her neck at any second. I close my eyes and tip my head back not wanting to lose my shit on her right now. I’m afraid if I do, there won’
t be any stopping me.
Chapter 21
I don’t have to look down to know her hands are on me. I can feel that heat burn my skin. Her fingers slowly drift under my shirt causing my muscles to tense. She trails just her tips over the muscles of my abs to the top of the of my jeans. My breathing is sporadic. Her little fingers fiddle with the button on my jeans when I reach down and halt her.
“Stop!” The roar rips through me. Bray steps back quickly, fear dancing her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” She turns quickly and walks toward the house.
I follow like a fucking fool. I just need some sleep and to let all this stress fade away. I can’t handle much more shit around her as it is. I close the door behind me when I hear her scream. I run down the hall and into her room, watching her on the bed with a razor blade in her hand. I don’t move. I’m enraptured by what she’s doing to herself. The blood slips down her arm as tears fall from her eyes.
“I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to die!” she screams but she isn’t looking at me. She’s looking at her arm as she drags the blade across her skin once more. My heart picks up but I can’t pull my eyes away from the scene unfolding in front of me.
“Nobody has ever wanted me! No one knows me.” Her sobs choke her when she slashes herself again. I know a normal person would move to stop her. They would call in help but not me. I’m not normal. I stand in awe of her. How much fucking courage does she have inside of her that she would slice her own skin?
“Your favorite color is orange.” The words tumble from my lips. Her head raises slightly.
“What?”
“Your favorite color is orange. You like daisies. You won’t eat tomatoes but you eat ketchup.”
Tears fall faster down her face as she studies me. She didn’t expect me to know that about her. Like I said, I’ve watched her from afar before this plan ever formed in my mind. I wanted her, fuck how I wanted her, but I knew I couldn’t have her and now I feel like I’m crossing a line that I won’t be able to come back from. Bray shakes her head, looking back at the blood that slowly drips from her skin. She drags the blade across it once more.
“He would burn me with his cigarettes. He said I wasn’t good enough to be his daughter. He needed another son, one who could help him build his empire. The things he’d let the guys do to me.” She swallows hard.
What do I do? What part of my brain do I go with here? The one that says to walk away and leave her to her own fucked-up memories or the one that says to grab her and make her mine? There’s a war inside of me. The demon wants the blood but something else I’m unfamiliar with wants the girl. I want this girl.
“I’m a monster, Bray.”
She nods without looking up at me. She doesn’t need to. She knows what I’ve been doing to her.
“You have your reasons. They don’t,” she says softly. Her sobs pierce my ears. My chest tightens.
“Do I?” I ask her needing to hear an answer. What the hell am I doing?
“Yes, but I don’t want to die, Smokey. Not by their hands.” She looks at the blade in her hand before slowly bringing it up to her neck.
The flicker of silver sends a chill down my spine. Sweat trickles down my temples. The room is suddenly too hot to fucking stand. The tip of the blade touches her skin as a sad smile pulls across her face. Just as she’s about to pull it through her flesh, I move. I leap on the bed, taking Bray down easily. The blade clatters to the floor as my body crushes her to the mattress.
“Why did you do that!” she cries.
I push up on my hands and stare down at her. My chest is so tight I feel like I can’t suck in enough air. The room closes in around us as I look into those eyes. The eyes of the girl I wanted. The eyes of the girl I broke. My hands move to rest on the sides of her head, holding her steady beneath me.
“Do you think takin’ your own life would solve it all?”
Her eyes slowly open. She looks at me like I’m insane. “It would. I wouldn’t be the target for anyone anymore. I wouldn’t have to be used and hurt.”
The tears slide down her cheeks and my heart stops. With my thumbs, I brush away the tears. “There’s one flaw in that plan, little flower.” My thumbs keep trailing over her cheeks. She watches me intently but my nerves are getting the best of me. This is fucked up. Her family took mine. She was just supposed to be a pawn, a vehicle to exorcise the demon in me. Why do I feel anything toward her?
“What flaw?”
“Me. I’m the fuckin’ flaw.” I press my lips to hers gently. I kiss her softer than I thought I’d be able to. Bray opens up to me. Kissing me back, she wiggles beneath me. I sit up and pull her clothes off. I look at her bruised body, the marks I’ve left on her skin. It doesn’t sicken me like you think it would. It turns me on. My marks. Mine. All over her perfect body.
“I’m no good. I’ll never be able to stop hurtin’ you,” I tell her in honesty. Her hands tug at my shirt. I let her pull it off when she moves to my pants next. I stand from the bed and slowly strip for her. Her eyes track my movements. When I stand naked in front her, she climbs to her knees, her arms still oozing slightly, her tears still streaking her face. I step toward the bed, and her hands come to rest on my chest. I suck in a breath which she doesn’t miss.
“I understand your need,” she says.
I shake my head. There’s no way she could know.
“Lie down,” I command her. Bray lies back on the bed, her soft curves calling to me. I kneel on the edge before climbing between her thighs. I grab her wrist, bringing it to my lips. I slowly run my tongue over the wound, savoring the taste of her blood on my tongue.
“I’ve never wanted someone the way I wanted you. Then I found out who you were and what they did.” I shake my head as I lean down, sucking her nipple into my mouth. Bray arches her back, a soft moan falling from her lips. My dick jerks near her entrance. I reach between us and slide inside of her slowly. I don’t take her hard and fast. No, I take my time.
Chapter 22
I still between her thighs. My hands caressing her cheeks. An unfamiliar jolt shoots through my chest as I look into her eyes.
“The thought of makin’ you pay for what they did. Shit.” I thrust a little further into her. “Retaliation was all I wanted. I don’t fuckin’ deserve redemption.” Her nails skate up my spine, shudders racing over me.
“Maybe you do,” Bray says, breathlessly. She raises her hips meeting my thrusts. Encouraging me to move harder, faster but I don’t want to.
“No. Look at what I’ve done to you, Braylynn. I’ve broken you.” I suck the soft flesh of her neck into my mouth as soft moans leave her lips. It’s hypnotic to hear her moaning the way she is. In this fucked-up head of mine, I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know I should stick with the plan, but I can’t fucking take it anymore.
“You can fix me, Smokey,” she mumbles under her breath. I pull away from her and look into her eyes. Her hands come to cup my cheeks and my eyes slowly close.
“I don’t deserve that,” I say softly. My voice doesn’t even sound like my own.
“We all deserve to be redeemed. Sometimes we don’t have a choice in what we do.”
Fuck! This is all about her. She didn’t have a choice! She never has. They wanted her to be something she wasn’t. They wanted a boy to fulfill club business, not a woman who could easily break it. And I’m no better than the bastards I wanted to hurt. I wanted so badly to fucking hurt them that I didn’t take into consideration that the one who would come out in the worst situation was her. All I could see was the pain that I wanted to inflict on them. Now I’ve ruined her. I’ve done what I set out to do. I’ve broken her down until there was nothing left of her to pick up. She can’t be fixed. There is nothing to hold her together even if I did piece her back together. I made her collateral damage.
I roll my hips. I watch her eyes. She holds my gaze, my thumbs caressing her cheeks. I don’t fuck her. No. I fucking make love to her. This is a foreign concept t
o me but I’m doing it. And somewhere in this messed up head of mine, I fucking like it. I like seeing her eyes sparkle as I move inside of her. My balls ache as that familiar burn runs up my spine, the heat of her body pushing me over the edge. I come inside of her just as she finds her own release. We ride that pleasure until neither of us have any energy left to give. I pull out of her and start to shove off the bed when she grabs my arm. I look over my shoulder at the look in her eyes. It pulls at my heart.
“Will you stay with me?”
I shake my head but the look in her eyes does something to me. My insides clench. I nod once before lying back on the bed. It’s an awkward feeling for me to have. Bray shifts on the bed before resting her head on my chest. I don’t know how to react to this. I don’t know what to do. Bray must be able to sense the tension in me. Her fingers start to move over my abs. I slowly bring my arm up to wrap around her. I pull her closer to me and something feels settled in my chest.
“This will never work,” I tell her. She blows out a breath, the warmth dancing over my skin.
“Why?”
“I’m no good. I could never stop hurtin’ you, Bray,” I repeat to her.
“Did you always want to hurt me?” she asks softly.
I sigh before I say, “No. At first it was all about gettin’ back at them. Seein’ my marks on you though, I can’t contain the demon in me. The one that craves the darkness. The one that wants to see you in pain. It isn’t just you, little flower. It’s any woman. I can’t pull myself back when I’m that far gone.” Admitting that to her is hard. I don’t even know why I’m telling her any of this.
“You can use me. Use me for what you need.”
I exhale slowly.
“You don’t get it, Braylynn. I don’t want you like that. I don’t want you walkin’ around with fuckin’ marks all over your goddamn body because I can’t control myself,” I snap.
Her hand tightens around my waist. “Why?”
