Cowgirl Strong

by Jenny Hammerle

  “I wanted to take you back to the place, where in my mind, our friendship began.”

  “Our friendship? I’d have thought that was the first day at the creek.”

  “No, on that day I thought you were a trespasser, a pretty one, but a trespasser.”

  “So you wanted to have me arrested.”

  “Not particularly, imprison you maybe.” He squeezed her hand from where he sat behind the steering wheel. “So college is only a week away.”

  “I can hardly believe it myself. We’re officially Gators now.”

  “Sure are. College students- adults. Off on our own.”

  Where is he going with this?

  “I’m not sure about the dorm thing, but my parents insisted I live on-campus for the first year.”

  “I know.” He sounded displeased. “I’ll have an apartment. I’ve already picked it out. I’ll show you the floor plan online later this week. Close to campus and convenient. I’m hoping you’ll visit.”

  “We’ve already discussed it all before and nothing is going to change.” Rachael sounded annoyed. “You agreed to it. Dorm for me, apartment for you. Marriage down the road.”

  “That hasn’t changed, but I just don’t see why we couldn’t get married a little sooner. The seven year plan is still four years from completion date. I think we need to revisit that. Remember when you said you’d consider getting married after the Associate’s Degree?”

  Rachael slid over to her side of the truck and blew out an exasperated breath.

  “Hear me out Rachael, please.”

  “Go on.” She sat her arms crossed across her chest. He patted the seat next to him, silently begging her to move back over. When she didn’t, he started talking anyway.

  “If you’re telling me you want to go off to school and date other people, have that kind of college experience, I will respect that.”

  “I’ve never said that!” Rachael exclaimed.

  “I know. What I’m trying to say is I’m not boxing you in here. If your reason for not wanting to get married before graduating college was that, I’d be hurt but I’d get it. Girls feel that way. You wouldn’t be the first.” He tried to sound like he was really open to her dating other people when she knew he wasn’t.

  Travis clenched the steering wheel with both hands. He stared straight ahead at the road, unblinking.

  “Well, that’s not what I want, Travis. Is this just your way of letting me know that’s what you want?”

  “No. And this conversation isn’t going the way I planned at all.”

  “Me neither.”

  “Let’s start over. Can we please?” He begged.

  “Fine.”

  “I want to marry you, Rachael. You and only you. I know we are young to be getting married, and you’ve always been opposed to getting married straight out of high school or any time before graduating college. But I think it’s best.”

  “Are you afraid I’m going to run off to school and fall for some other guy, because I won’t.”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “Are you afraid I’m going to go wild off at school and start with some partying, reckless behavior? Go crazy and all that?”

  “No.” He shook his head.

  “So this is all about sex- again.”

  “Not entirely.”

  When she looked over, she could see he was staring out the windshield at the sun rising above the clouds.

  “Would you rather I lie?” He pulled the truck over and put his forehead on the steering wheel.

  “Of course not. I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal? I find you attractive and all, but I can wait four more years,” she paused, “I think.”

  “You’re not a guy. I don’t think I can and I don’t want to be in a position where I’m forced to lie to your parents.”

  “Are you saying you’d break up with me to get it elsewhere?”

  “Where did you get that from?” He pulled back onto the road.

  “I’m sorry about that last comment.” Rachael knew her face was seething by this point.

  “No, I’d never go elsewhere. I want you and only you, forever Rachael.”

  Rachael sat and considered her own motivation for putting off marriage. She wanted to finish college. She wanted her degree. There was no guarantee if they got married there wouldn’t be kids right away. Who knew?

  “This is where you have to trust God. We won’t have kids right away and if we did he has a plan for us, but no matter what I promise you’ll finish college.” Travis turned his truck and backed into the boat ramp parking area and cut the engine. “Talk to me. I know you hate me right now.”

  “I don’t hate you.” She opened her door and climbed out.

  Travis flew out of the truck. Rachael stormed toward the dock. In a few short strides he caught up to her. He gently caught her by the wrist.

  “Where are you going?”

  She stopped and looked him in the eyes. “If my parents say yes, then yes.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes.”

  Travis reached in his pocket and produced a ring box.

  She sighed. “Don’t you think you should ask my father first?”

  “Already have and he said yes, your mother too.”

  “Okay.” Rachael reached around to tuck a piece of flyaway hair behind her ear.

  Travis opened the ring box and a beautiful solitaire set in a simple gold setting with a wide band sparkled in the morning light. He got down on one knee.

  “I can’t, Travis. Please get up.”

  “But you just said yes. I don’t understand.”

  Rachael turned and stalked out onto the dock, her back to him. She glanced out at the river. The water was slick and peaceful, as the river’s name suggested. It was all exactly how she imagined it would be, the ring, the guy, the location even… with one exception.

  I’m eighteen.

  Rachael felt a burning deep in her chest. She wanted to say yes. She’d said yes initially, but what about college? Travis’ questions brought up a few things she’d never considered. She didn’t want to date anyone else, but there was so much more to college than that.

  The light footsteps of flip flops on the planks of the boards of the dock alerted her to Travis approaching from behind. He didn’t speak. He just stood there, hands on his hips.

  “I don’t want to date anyone else, but there are so many other things I’d like to do.” She couldn’t face him.

  “And you can’t do these things married?”

  Rachael turned around to look him in the eyes. “You don’t think it’s just a little taboo to get married so young? I mean, really?”

  “I don’t care if it’s taboo or not. I love you and what does it matter what other people think.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Come on. I’ll run you home.”

  “So what? Now we’re going to let it ruin the entire day?”

  “What do you want from me?” He yelled. “I don’t know what you want from me.” He sat down on the bench and ripped off his cap throwing it across the dock. He bent forward and put his hands in his hair.

  “I want to marry you, I do. Just not this way…forced into it.” As soon as she spoke the words she regretted them.

  “Forced? Is that really how you feel?”

  “No. I didn’t mean to use that word.” Rachael rushed over and placed her hands on his shoulders kneeling in front of him. “I want to rush a sorority, I want to go out dancing with friends in clubs and stay out late, eat breakfast at three o’clock in the morning. All the things the college experience is about.”

  “You can still do those things. I wasn’t saying you couldn’t. We are going off to school together, I could join a fraternity. I’m not some old man. I want to do those things, too.”

  Rachael sat down on the bench beside him, but he still wouldn’t make eye contact with her.

  “We can do all those things together and more.” He paused, then lifted his head to look her
in the eyes. “Are you scared of marriage?” He asked in a hushed whisper.

  “No!” Rachael stood and strode from the dock.

  Travis watched her walk away, making no move to follow her. Rachael walked to the edge of the riverbank. She saw two otters playing further down the bank where they rolled this way and that. One raced down to the water and slid in. The other one quickly followed behind it. They disappeared below the surface.

  Why couldn’t I have been an otter?

  Travis stood and returned to his truck. He backed the trailer down the boat ramp and slid his boat into the water. He drove over and parked his truck in the parking lot.

  “You coming?” He returned, holding his hand out to her.

  Rachael turned and walked toward the waiting boat. He assisted her in. They rode in silence for a long time. The slight breeze coming out of the west carried on it the smell of saw and needle grass. Cattails bloomed and water hyacinth, but she could think of nothing else than this morning’s horrible conversation and how badly she was handling it. She just couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

  Travis continued working his way up the river. He opened himself a soda and handed one to her as well. She accepted it politely but uttered nothing.

  They were an hour from the dock when he finally cut the boat off and sat smiling at her.

  “What are you grinning at?”

  “We can sit here all day not talking if you’d like, or you can answer my question honestly.”

  Rachael looked left and then right. The river was wide at this point and the large ten foot gator lounging on the neighboring bank told her swimming away wasn’t an option.

  “That’s not fair. What am I, your prisoner?”

  “Pretty much. The way I see it you have two choices. You can open up to me about what you’re holding back about or we can just pitch a tent over there tonight next to that gator. Either way is fine. I’ve got all week.”

  Rachael walked over and sat beside Travis.

  “Fine. So I’m afraid of marriage. I don’t want to end up like my parents.”

  “What’s so wrong with your parents? They’re happily married.”

  “How happy can you be when one of you was in prison for part of it?”

  “For the record, I’m not planning on doing any stints in prison. And all marriages have ups and downs.”

  “That’s good to know, but my dad wasn’t planning on it either.”

  “Good point, but the positive thing here is that their marriage has survived prison. A strong marriage based in a solid foundation can survive anything.”

  Rachael nodded. “I’m not some backwoods hillbilly who wants to get married young. It’s not in my plan.” Rachael admitted.

  “Am I the backwoods hillbilly?” He laughed.

  “Maybe.”

  “Well, for your information, you weren’t in my plan either. You moved here.” He reached over and picked her up and set her on his lap. “I fell in love with you.” He placed a light kiss on her check. “And my plans changed. Now I have a new plan, a very simple one.”

  Travis swept her hair away from her neck and ran soft kisses down her neck to her shoulder. He held his lips to her shoulder and gently brushed kisses across the top of it.

  “Maybe I should’ve let Michael come along for the day.” Rachael teased. The events of a few evenings before played through her mind.

  “Might have been a good idea.” He cleared his voice. “Like I was saying, my plan is simple. I’m going to marry you, Rachael Harte, and make you mine forever.” He kissed his way back up her neck to the side of her earlobe where he whispered “And ever.” He kissed her cheek. “And ever.” He kissed her nose. “And ever.” He kissed her lips, gently at first and then more ardently.

  When Rachael lifted her head she looked in his eyes and saw the truth of what he was saying. The way she felt right now she knew he was right. At this rate, if she were being completely honest with herself, they’d be fortunate if they made it to their wedding day.

  “Yes. I’ll marry you.” Rachael was quick to amend her statement. “Give me a freshman year of dorm and college life. We’ll get married a soon as school lets out for the summer. Not a moment sooner.”

  “Great.” Travis produced the ring once more and slid the solitaire onto her left finger. “Then, we’ll share my apartment and finish school together. And I promise, we will finish.”

  “I’m afraid. I don’t want there to be hard times like Mom and Dad have endured. I used to fear never finding the right person and ending up alone. Or even worse- marrying the wrong person and ending up divorced. But even when you marry the right person there are no guarantees. That’s what scares me the most.”

  “There’s one guarantee- I love you and I always will.”

  “Maybe we should just elope. That way I could stay at your apartment whenever I want to from day one. Why wait until next summer?”

  “While you’d get no complaints from me with that option, I think your parents might freak. They agreed to a June wedding, no sooner. I think they figure if we get one year of college under our belts, we’ll be more likely to finish.”

  “I always wanted a June wedding.”

  “Then June it is, but for the record…you can visit my apartment anytime between now and the wedding day. We’re engaged now.”

  ”Yes, we are.” Rachael admired her ring where it sparkled in the bright sunlight. “Don’t tell me you renegotiated our purity pledge?”

  “No, but now that we’re engaged it’s not a bad idea.”

  “Travis! You wouldn’t!” She smacked his thigh.

  “No, I’ve learned my lesson there.” He did some mental math. “Ten months and counting.”

  “Ten months and counting.” She kissed him and then jumped up in the driver’s seat.

  “You think you can operate this?” He laughed.

  “I’m sure I can.”