Breakaway

by Deirdre Martin

  She didn’t have too much stuff, so she and Liam were done in a flash. She thought her mam might show her face, even if it was just to scowl at her, but no. It hurt Erin more than she cared to admit.

  Old Jack glided over to the table, all smiles.

  “Evening all.” He shook Esa’s hand. “Nice to meet you. Who are you?”

  “Jesus, Jack. You could be a bit more polite,” said Rory. “This is my teammate, Esa. He’s here for a week to blow back, relax.”

  “Another hockey player, eh? Maybe we can get some more of you to come over and form a proper Irish hockey team.”

  Rory laughed. “In your dreams, Jack. I know you’ve got one or two club teams here now, but the truth is, you’ll never tear an Irishman away from the football pitch.”

  “What can I get you all?” He looked at Erin and Sandra. “Black Velvets for you two, that much I know. Rory?”

  “Know what? I think I’m going to branch out tonight. I’d like a pint of India Pale Ale.”

  Jack looked at Esa. “You?”

  “What’s your strongest stout?”

  “Russian Imperial.”

  “I’ll have that, then.”

  They had a few minutes to chat before Rory and Esa went to the bar to fetch the drinks. Esa was extremely solicitous, asking Erin and Sandra loads of questions about themselves and their interests. He was flirting mercilessly with Sandra, who was lapping it up. The minute he and Rory excused themselves to get the drinks, Sandra gave Erin a conspiratorial pinch.

  “Frickin’ hell, he looks like he dropped down from heaven,” Sandra whispered.

  “He’s certainly turning on the charm with you,” Erin noted.

  “Jealous, are we?”

  “Go chase yourself. I have Rory.”

  “I’m liking the charm. It’s been years since I’ve had a man stare at my titties like that.”

  Doesn’t Jake? Erin wanted to ask, but kept quiet. She changed the subject.

  “How you getting on with my mam?” Erin asked.

  “The dragon knows better than to go after me,” Sandra boasted.

  Erin put her hand to her chest, relieved. “I was hoping that would be the case.”

  “She should have been in the army, your mam. Good at barking the orders. But I get it: the place has to run like a well-oiled machine, doesn’t it? Still and all, she’s dead pleasant with the guests.”

  “I know. I think she really is happy running the place. Not that she’d admit it.”

  “She’s always been one to get up on the cross when it suits her. She’ll get over it, by the way.”

  “So you say. You look really great tonight, San.”

  Sandra looked pleased. “Do I?” She took a deep breath. “It’s so lovely to be here and not have to worry about what I’ll come home to. The kids haven’t really been asking too much about Larry, except LJ. I told him his dad had to go away to where the jobs were, but he’s not stupid; he knows I’m lying through my teeth. But he’s content to leave it there for now. Thank God for your Rory, and Jake, and Jackson Bell: he’s finally got some positive male role models in his life.” She looked down at the gleaming gold tennis bracelet on her left wrist. “I never thought I’d hear these words out of my mouth again, but he truly is a good sort, your Rory.”

  “I know,” said Erin. She looked at him at the bar with Esa. They were chatting with Liam. Never thought I’d see that, she thought to herself.

  Rory and Esa wended their way back to the table, Esa handing them their drinks.

  Sandra was positively flirtatious as she accepted her glass from him. Erin hadn’t seen her bat her eyelashes like that in years.

  Esa took one slug of the stout. The sour look on his face took Erin aback.

  “This is disgusting,” he said to Rory.

  “You’re a wuss.”

  “You have no taste buds.”

  “Excuse me while I get something cold.”

  “Finns,” said Rory in mock disappointment. “They’re such prima donnas.” He turned back to the table. “Let’s get our Irish on. Show him how it’s done properly.”

  * * *

  Rory was pleased with the way the evening was progressing. Esa was pouring on the charm, his charisma undeniable. But Rory could see he was even spinning a net around Erin, which cheesed him off. When Sandra and Erin excused themselves at one point to go to the loo, Rory told him to pull it back a bit. Esa needled him about being jealous, asking again and again how serious Sandra and her boyfriend were.

  “She’s got four kids and has no intention to leave Ireland,” Rory snapped.

  “So?” Esa laughed. “That doesn’t mean she can’t have one night of unforgettable passion.”

  “That’s not her style. Trust me.”

  “Maybe it is now that she’s met me,” Esa needled.

  It took Rory a while before he noticed Jake standing at the bar, glaring at them. At first he thought he had to be mistaken; why would Jake look pissed off? He focused. Nope, it was definitely Jake, and he was definitely glowering. Rory excused himself and walked over to his friend.

  “What’re you doing over here?”

  “Assessing.” He tilted his head in the direction of Rory’s table. “That’s your mate, eh?”

  “Yeah. C’mon. We’re having a right laugh.”

  “Don’t think so.”

  Rory was puzzled. “What’s gotten up your arse?”

  “Your mate really seems to be pourin’ it on with San.”

  “Jealous, eh?”

  Jake raised his pint glass to his lips, his eyes still locked on Esa. “Look at her,” he said angrily as the women returned to the table. “All gooey-eyed, even lookin’ like she enjoys him checking out her body.”

  “If it bothers you so much, then come sit with us. Defend your territory.” Jake turned to him. The glaring hadn’t stopped. “For fuck’s sake, Jake. Stop being such an idiot.” He said it so loudly Bettina turned from where she was pulling some stout. Rory could tell from the look of intense concentration on her face that she was all ears now, so he lowered his voice.

  “Come over to the table,” he repeated. “You’re my best mate. I want him to meet you. He’s just being nice, making her feel good. And like I said, if it bothers you, defend your territory. Show her you want to take it to the next level. Now. Tonight. Even if it’s something small.”

  “All right,” Jake capitulated, still frowning.

  * * *

  Erin, Sandra, and Esa were already feeling good after a few drinks, so there was not the slightest bit of tension when Jake joined the table. That is, until Esa continued mesmerizing Sandra. There was no mistaking the antagonistic look in Jake’s eyes. Erin and Rory exchanged worried glances, but behind it, Erin knew they were both glad Jake had finally seemed to realize that Sandra and he both wanted the same thing: a good, happy life in Ballycraig.

  “I can’t believe you were married and he let you go,” Esa marveled as he gazed deeply into Sandra’s eyes. He turned to the rest of the table. “Can you?”

  Erin grimaced. “Actually—”

  “My husband was a drunken loser,” Sandra supplied.

  “I’m glad he’s not here to make you unhappy anymore,” Esa continued. “You deserve happiness.”

  “Yeah, she does.” Jake sneered. “You gonna give it to her?”

  Sandra looked at Erin with wide eyes.

  Esa looked at Jake, puzzled. “Does it bother you that I’m being attentive to Sandra? Is it something you’re not capable of doing yourself?”

  “You better feckin’ watch yourself, mate.”

  Esa looked at Sandra. “You’ve been having a good time tonight. Am I right?”

  “You’re right,” Sandra said. She touched Jake’s arm. “It’s just harmless fun.”

  “Is it?” Jake snapped.

  Sandra looked perplexed. “What the hell has gotten into you, Jake?”

  “It bugs me, okay?” His voice was forceful. Impressive.

  “W
hat for?”

  “Because I don’t like you flirting with him, right?”

  Sandra turned to Erin. “Are you hearing this?”

  “Look,” said Jake, “I’ve realized a few things.”

  “Oh, what’s that?” Sandra retorted. “That you’re out of your gourd?”

  “No. That what I want is a woman who wants the same things I do: a life here in Ballycraig.”

  Esa looked at Erin and Rory. “Perhaps we should leave.”

  “No one’s goin’ anywhere,” Jake declared. “I don’t care who hears what I have to say.”

  Sandra’s expression was skeptical. “So you want a life here in Ballycraig. There are loads of women here who want that.”

  “I don’t want to see them. I want to see you.”

  “God Jesus,” Sandra slugged down some of her drink. “This is doing my head in.”

  “Why?” Erin asked. “You two have been hanging out a lot, right? Plus, you had a mad crush on him at school.”

  Sandra shot her a murderous look. “That was a hundred years ago.”

  “Feelings can be revived,” said Erin. She leaned against Rory. “Look at us.”

  Esa stood. “This is degenerating into a soap opera. I really think I should leave.”

  Jake stood up, looking at Esa with contempt. “Think you’re better than us, don’t you?”

  “Jake, c’mon,” said Rory. “There’s no reason to go down this path.”

  “Don’t you?” Jake pressed Esa.

  “It was harmless fun,” Esa said, looking bored. “Sandra herself said so. Just chill.”

  Jake took a swing, aiming to punch Esa in the face. Esa deftly sidestepped the punch, grabbed Jake’s wrist, and twisted it hard enough behind his back to force Jake back into his seat. It all happened so fast that no one else in the pub seemed to have noticed.

  “Jake!” Rory snapped. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  “Showing this arrogant asshole where he can put it.”

  Esa slowly released Jake’s wrist with a look of condescension. “Tougher men than you have tried that and failed, and they weren’t drunk at the time. Let’s chalk this up to your having too much to drink. I’m staying up at the farm. I think it best if we avoid each other.” He turned to the table, smiling graciously. “Sandra, Erin, it was very nice to meet you. Rory, I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

  Erin looked at Sandra as Esa left the pub. Rather than looking horrified, Sandra actually looked tickled.

  “Sorry about that,” Jake muttered.

  “Yeah, me, too,” said Rory angrily. “He’s one of my mates, Jake. There was no reason for you to be a total dick to him. You’re gonna apologize to him at the farm tomorrow, yeah?” Jake was silent. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, I’ll apologize.” He looked at Sandra. “You look very pretty tonight,” he said quietly. And that was all it took.

  31

  My head’s gonna explode.

  It was early the next morning. Erin had promised herself that no matter how hungover she was, or how late the hour, she would stick to the new schedule she’d set for herself and get up at seven to study. She’d grown used to studying in the evening, but morning was when she was at her most alert.

  She was tempted to ignore the alarm when it went off, but she didn’t. She wasn’t hungover so much as exhausted. She quickly padded downstairs to make tea. The house was quiet. Liam and Esa were still asleep. Aislinn had been working for at least two hours now. Erin silenced the tea kettle before it had a chance to scream, then crept back upstairs to her room with her cuppa. She checked her phone; no messages from her mother.

  The estrangement hurt more every day, though Erin hated to admit it. It made her feel like her mother held all the power. But Erin was determined not to bend.

  Two hours had passed with her glued to her laptop, answering mock exam questions like, “Which female artist painted Marie Antoinette’s portraits?” She much preferred working on practice essays in her specialty area, modern art. Those were a joy to write. The closer it drew to the days of her exams, the more doubtful she grew. What if this really was a stupid field to have picked? What if she never got a job?

  Her half-finished cup of tea had gone stone-cold, and she wanted to make a new one. She opened her bedroom door at precisely the moment Esa Saari opened his.

  “Hello,” Erin said politely. The evening had ended oddly: Jake driving Sandra home, Rory driving her home, even though both houses were within walking distance of the Oak.

  “Hello,” Esa returned courteously. “I was going down to make myself some breakfast. Would you like to join me?”

  “Sure.” What Erin wanted to say was that she really needed to get back to studying, which was true. But then she thought: this could be a good opportunity for him to get to know me as myself, not just Rory’s fiancée. She just wished she were wearing something a little more attractive than yoga pants and a sweatshirt.

  Esa quietly followed her down the stairs. Once in the kitchen, Erin could hear the sound of Aislinn herding her flock nearby.

  “I can’t believe Aislinn is already out there,” said Esa. Erin noticed he didn’t mention Jake being out there as well.

  “Farmer’s hours,” Erin replied.

  “My maternal grandfather was a farmer. Reindeer.”

  “Reindeer,” Erin mused. “I never really thought about them actually being raised somewhere.” She had a disturbing thought. “Do you eat them?”

  Esa looked amused. “Yes.”

  “All right, let’s change the subject. I don’t want to think about someone tucking into Rudolph.”

  Esa gestured at the fridge. “Is it all right if I just—”

  “Of course. I’m sure Liam and Aislinn told you to take what you’d like.”

  “They did. I just wanted to make sure they weren’t just being polite.”

  “No, Aislinn would have let you know if you couldn’t help yourself to anything in the fridge, believe me. I’m making myself some tea,” Erin told him, turning on the kitchen tap. “Would you like a cup?”

  “Actually, not to be a pain in the ass, but do they have any coffee?”

  “Oh, loads. Liam prefers coffee to tea.” She pointed to the coffeemaker. “Coffee and filters are in the cabinet above.”

  “Thank you.”

  The atmosphere felt a bit awkward. Erin found it mildly disconcerting, but she assumed it would pass once they actually sat down over breakfast.

  Esa opened the fridge, peering inside. “Hmmm. Eggs. Also some apples, some muffins…” He turned around to look at her. “If I make eggs, will you have some?”

  “Sure. And I’ll have a muffin, too. With lashes of butter.” She wasn’t about to squash down her appetite because he was used to bone-thin models.

  Esa nodded, pulling out ingredients. “First, I have to make the coffee. If you don’t mind.”

  “Esa, look. You don’t have to be so deferential. I thought we got past formalities last night.”

  Esa ran his hand through his hair, looking apologetic. “I know, but I feel like an intruder. I didn’t mean to cause problems last night.”

  “Jake was the problem, not you.”

  “I thought: harmless flirting.”

  “Well, Sandra did, too.”

  “It was fun. She’s a good-looking woman, and she seemed to be enjoying it.”

  “Jake will be apologizing sometime today, I guarantee it. He realizes he went a bit mad.”

  “I hope so. I’d hate to have to snap his neck. It would make things very awkward between me and Rory.”

  Are all hockey players arrogant? Erin wondered. She couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. He wasn’t smiling, which meant he had to be serious. So macho, so early in the morning. Rory was probably the same way.

  Despite his confidence, however, Esa was going about making the coffee all wrong. If anything happened to the coffeemaker, Liam would go mental. Erin had no choice but to intervene.

  “No so much co
ffee,” she called over to him. “The carafe can’t hold it. You put that much in for a carafe that size, and you’ll be drinking mud.”

  Esa peered at the coffee basket. “You’re right.” He scooped some coffee back into the airtight storage container. “Rory seems very happy,” he noted, sitting down at the table.

  Erin was thrilled. “Does he?”

  “Yeah. He’s been a miserable bastard the past year. Now I see why.”

  Erin blushed, and then she fished. “Rory really didn’t get serious with anyone while we were split up?”

  “He wasn’t a saint, Erin. But he wasn’t a dog, either.”

  “That’s good to hear.”

  Esa looked at her curiously. “What if he had been? Would you still have taken him back?”

  “I think so. But I honestly don’t know.”

  “It’s hard to believe he didn’t grow up playing hockey. He’s a very talented athlete.”

  “I’ve never seen him play.”

  Esa looked shocked. “What?”

  “I’ve never seen him play hockey. In person, I mean.”

  “You’ll love it. I’m better than he is, of course,” Esa said, “but he’s pretty good. He’s been a real asset to the team.”

  The coffeemaker hissed its completion. “Tell me about you, Erin,” said Esa, pouring himself a cup.

  She suddenly felt shy. “I’m sure Rory has told you loads of things.”

  “He has, but I’d like to get to know you myself.” He brought his coffee to the table. “For example: Rory says you’re getting a degree in art history?”

  “Yeah.” Another blush made an appearance. “Probably crazy, I know.”

  “No more crazy than trying to make it as a professional athlete,” Esa pointed out with a smile.

  “I suppose.”

  “I envy you, going to university. Maybe I’ll go when I retire. I don’t know. There are lots of subjects I’m curious about, but I don’t have the time right now because I’m pursuing other things.”

  Erin ventured a tease. “Like models and parties?”

  “Ah, my reputation precedes me,” replied Esa with a boyish grin.

  “It does.”

  “I like having fun. Who doesn’t? But I won’t do that forever.” He took a big sip of coffee. “One day I’ll meet the right person and surprise everyone by turning into a mature, responsible adult. But until then, I’ll have a good time.”