Beneath Him

by Kant, Komal

  “Being a douchebag,” she said, her expression quite serious, “but he did drive me to the store when my car wouldn’t start, so I guess you could call that nice. Although, he did look like he was being water boarded the whole time, so he probably didn’t enjoy himself too much.”

  My friends burst into laughter and Jordan reached across the table and high-fived her, before grinning at me. “I like her.”

  That was a lot coming from him because the last time I’d brought a girl with me to dinner, she’d been drunk and had been wearing a dress that left nothing to the imagination. Needless to say, the night had ended badly with Jessica warning me not to ruin our dinners by bringing skanks.

  That was a year ago. Sky was the first girl I’d brought with me since that incident.

  “Hi! Over here!” Jessica squealed, waving at someone behind me.

  I didn’t know anyone else was supposed to be joining us. Turning around in my seat, I saw a familiar blond guy approaching our table.

  What the fuck was he doing here?

  He was someone I hadn’t been expecting to see tonight, someone I made sure to avoid at all costs—Matthew De Voir.

  Turning back to my friends, I shot Jordan a questioning look. He looked at me helplessly and nodded his head at the girls. So they’d been the ones behind this. Why would they do that when they knew that I did my best to steer clear of Matt?

  I’d made sure to avoid dinner at my house the other night so I wouldn’t have to see Matt and his parents.

  “Hey, guys,” Matt said, reaching the table and pulling up a chair beside Sky.

  Too close. Too familiar.

  “I’m so glad you could make it,” Lisa said, and then glanced at me as though she’d read my mind. Or maybe I just looked really mad. “Matt and I were talking the other day and he wanted to catch up with you.”

  “That’s right, man.” Matt angled his body in my direction, flashing me a tentative smile. “How have you been? Every time I come over you’re never home.”

  I shrugged, not making eye contact with him. I couldn’t look at him. It made me too mad. “Been busy.”

  “Yeah, busy with girls I bet,” he said, and then winked at Sky. “So we meet again.”

  “Way too soon,” Sky said, keeping her tone light. I noticed the way the side of her neck was flushing. What was all that about?

  “Oh, wow, that just breaks my heart,” Matt said, laughing.

  The corner of Sky’s mouth twitched just a little and I could tell she was amused by him.

  I didn’t like this. I didn’t like the way he was looking at her. I knew Matt well, and he liked attractive, confident women. Sky was exactly that.

  “So do you like taking care of little Madeline?” Matt asked, his body turned towards her now.

  Sky’s expression instantly brightened as she answered him. “Yes, she’s very easy to take care of. Very smart, and she can talk my ear off about The Walking Dead.” Her voice was filled with affection which wasn’t lost on him.

  “Yeah, it’s adorable hearing her say ‘Corrraal’,” he commented, his eyes drifting to the top of Sky’s breasts pushing out of her low-cut top.

  A weird feeling snapped at me. It made me mad seeing them together like this, laughing, smiling, flirting. Sky had come with me, and Matt had no right to step in and act like she was his. She wasn’t his. Sky worked for me. She was mine. Sort of.

  I leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Matt’s getting a good view of your tits. I’d fix that unless that’s what you were aiming for.”

  Sky’s eyes darted to me, and her face turned a deep shade of red. Quickly, she adjusted her top and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Um, I’m going to the restroom.”

  “Okay!” Lisa glanced up briefly before turning her attention back onto me and Matt. Obviously, she had orchestrated this whole dinner so that I’d be forced to talk to him.

  When Sky got up and left, I was stuck with a clear view of Matt. Now I didn’t know where to look. I felt like I was being played by my friends right now and I was pissed off at all of them.

  “Nick, can I talk to you for a sec?” There was nervousness in Matt’s voice as he spoke. “We could go outside or something.”

  My friends watched us eagerly, and I felt a little betrayed. Why couldn’t they just understand that I needed space?

  Fuck, we might as well get this over with.

  “Yeah, sure,” I said, trying to keep my tone indifferent.

  We both scraped our chairs back and I led the way out to the front of the restaurant. I was taking charge of this situation. Matt being here had caught me off guard, but there was no way he was calling the shots in this intervention, or whatever the hell my friends thought they were doing.

  “What is it?” My tone was curt. I didn’t want to be here. I needed to leave.

  “We used to be good friends once.” Matt’s familiar, blue eyes flickered over me in concern. “The last few years have been tough for everyone, but that doesn’t mean we have to act like strangers.”

  That didn’t mean we had to stay friends. Shit happened.

  “Things change,” I said, making sure not to look at him directly. Too many memories were associated with him. “People change.”

  Matt’s face registered shock at my words, and I knew he couldn’t figure out exactly why I was avoiding him. “What happened wasn’t anyone’s fault. If you ever want to talk-”

  “No.” I didn’t need to talk about things that had happened in the past. “There’s nothing left to talk about. There’s nothing left.” My voice shook as I said those last words, composure failing me.

  “There is something left.” I could tell Matt had heard the falter in my voice because he reached out as though he was about to comfort me, but I saw it coming.

  Before he could make contact, I jerked back just in time and glared at him.

  “Look, everything’s fine, so we can stop this stupid ‘talking about our feelings’ thing. I don’t need anyone, okay?”

  “What about the people who need you? Do you even give a damn about them?” His voice was rising in anger now as he lost his patience with me. “I’ve tried to make excuses for your choices, but you obviously don’t care about anyone except yourself.”

  “Yeah, I don’t,” I fired back. “So save your fucking lecture and leave me the hell alone.”

  Not waiting for a response, I walked around him and back inside. I didn’t want to hear anything else. I didn’t fucking need this. No one understood what I’d been through, what I was still going through every day.

  I needed to get the hell out of here and then I needed a drink. A strong one.

  Chapter Eight

  Sky

  The drive back home was silent and incredibly awkward.

  I snuck a glance at Nick out of the corner of my eye and noticed how taut his jaw was and how white his knuckles were as they gripped the steering wheel. He stared straight ahead at the road in front of him, his eyes blank and unseeing.

  This was the other side of Nick—the brooding, serious one who seemed like he had all the world’s problems weighing him down.

  I felt so out of my depth with this man that I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I didn’t know him well enough yet. The only thing that seemed clear to me was what had triggered this side of him—Matt’s arrival.

  It was strange because Matt seemed like a really nice guy. I’d received no weird vibes from him, and Nick’s other friends had seemed fine with him too, so I couldn’t understand what had happened to make Nick sink into this mood.

  Worried that I would say something to make things worse, I kept my mouth shut as we reached the iron gates that led to the Ruggarson mansion.

  Nick sped up the long driveway, faster than he should’ve been going. Before I could tell him to slow down, he slammed on the brakes outside the front door.

  “Um,” I said, feeling frozen in my seat, “aren’t you parking in the garage?”

  “I’m going out,” Nick said,
his tone curt, “to find girls more worth my time.”

  Oh, wow.

  I tried not to be offended by his scathing remark as I unbuckled my seat belt and managed to remove myself from the car.

  It made me sick that he found enjoyment with random girls who were only sleeping with him because he was rich and good looking.

  It was no wonder he was so insufferable all the time. One night stands were brief, temporary. You didn’t receive real companionship or love from them. If he’d been doing this most of his teenage and adult life, no wonder he was the way he was.

  I didn’t even know why I cared; it wasn’t any of my business. Maybe I felt the need to say something because that night in the kitchen I’d seen a glimpse of the troubled man he really was and the person he could be.

  “Nick, wait,” I said, spinning around before he could drive off. “I may not know exactly what the situation is, but I can see that bringing random women home is a way for you to make yourself feel better. What you’re doing is only temporary and the effects will go away.”

  The way he was looking at me made my stomach jump into my throat. We’d never held eye contact for so long. I could see his jaw working, and I wondered if I’d said too much. It wasn’t my place to counsel him.

  Finally, he spoke. “I think banging out random women is a great way to make myself feel better. There’s nothing that boosts a guy’s ego quite like the screams of a girl begging for more and being unable to walk properly the next morning.” His gaze was dark, a taunting smile on his lips as though he was teasing me with this knowledge I now had.

  Heat immediately crept onto my skin. I knew he was only saying this to get to me, but it was still crude and vulgar. If that’s all that mattered to him, then he was seriously messed up.

  I scrunched up my fists at my side, absolutely ready to argue my point. “There are other things in life that are important, like friends and family.”

  His bottom lip curled, almost like he was snarling at me. “I don’t give a fuck about those things.”

  His words almost slammed me backwards, that’s how surprised I was. I’d never heard anyone say they didn’t care about their friends and family. What was his problem? Did no one matter to him?

  I hesitated, wondering if I should bring up what Madeline had mentioned to me. Why the heck not? Maybe it would get through to him. “You know, Madeline told me that you don’t play with her. That little girl thinks you don’t like her. Doesn’t that break your heart? Because it breaks mine, Nick. What you’re doing, it can’t be fulfilling for you. A part of you must know that.”

  His blue eyes gleamed back at me in the darkness, and he was silent again as we studied each other. For a second I really thought I’d gotten somewhere with him.

  “Don’t be silly, Sky,” he sneered at me. “Of course it’s fulfilling for me to fuck beautiful women every night.”

  Completely disregarding what I’d said about Madeline, he leaned over the passenger seat and pulled the door shut. Without another word, he sped off down the driveway, leaving me standing there like a complete moron.

  Humiliation and anger formed within me as I turned around and went to unlock the front door. What a complete douchebag. I’d totally put myself out there, hoping to get across to him somehow, but he clearly thought he was too good for that. Well, I was done trying to be nice to him when he showed the bare minimum of respect towards me.

  Nick Ruggarson could jump off a cliff for all I cared.

  Nick

  I’d been sitting in this hole-in-the-wall bar for so long, I’d lost track of time.

  My thoughts were flying through my head so quickly that I barely had time to process them all.

  Did Sky think she fucking knew me? Did she think she understood me? How dare she bring up Madeline and use her against me. She needed to stay out of my fucking business.

  I came here when I was at my lowest. Don’t ask me why, but being in this shithole bar gave me a strange sense of comfort; maybe because the patrons were too wasted to pay me any attention and I could disappear for a few hours.

  Tonight was one of those nights where I just wanted to disappear; it had been a fucked up night by all standards. Seeing Matt had completely fucked me up, and now Sky thought she was my goddamn therapist.

  “Can we join you?”

  The voice roused me from my thoughts, and I turned my head to the right to find two girls standing beside me. They were dressed provocatively in short skirts and tight tops with their tits on display, just the way I liked them.

  Neither of them was particularly attractive, but they weren’t the worst I’d ever had. I could see the hope in their eyes as my gaze skated over them. They were ready to go; all it would take was one drink, a few smiles, and they’d give it all up together.

  These were the kind of girls I was used to—the ones who went out looking for a quick fuck, nothing else.

  “Are you here by yourself?” the other girl asked. She was better looking than her friend; short, blonde, pretty face.

  “We could keep you company,” the first girl, a brunette, asked. She was terrifying looking and needed to lay off the makeup.

  For a split second, I seriously considered taking them up on their offer. Having a woman’s soft flesh against my body, her lips on my lips, and then the rush I always got when she screamed out for me, wanting me to do things with her, was pretty tempting.

  Why the hell not? I was alone in this fucking world and no one gave a damn about me. Everyone had given up on me a long time ago. They tiptoed around the real issue because they didn’t want to make things worse for me.

  But things were already as bad as they could get. That was why I needed a girl to warm my bed every night. It kept away what truly haunted me in the darkness—years’ worth of mistakes.

  All of a sudden, the memory of the look on Sky’s face, the disappointment laced in her voice, made me pause. She was right—this wasn’t truly fulfilling. This was only temporary.

  No one had ever said that to me before. All I ever got were looks of disappointment and comments on my lifestyle, but no one had ever put it quite like she had.

  I downed the rest of my straight whiskey and hopped off the barstool. “I haven’t had nearly enough drinks to impair my vision. You’re better off trying someone with better beer goggles.”

  One of the girls gasped; the other one cried, “Asshole!”

  Rude? Maybe a little, but I didn’t really give a fuck what these girls thought of me. There was only one girl on my mind.

  Sky

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  The noise penetrated into my dreams and had me jerking awake from my sleep.

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  Staring around the dark room, I realized someone was banging on my door. What the hell?

  With bleary eyes, I sought out the clock that sat on the bedside table—it was 2:12 in the morning. What was going on? Was there some sort of an emergency?

  Anxiety crept into me as I rushed over to unlock the door. When I pulled it open, the dark figure standing outside almost fell into me as they raised a fist to knock on the door again.

  Taking a step back, I felt along the wall for the switch flipped it on, bathing the room in light.

  Standing in the doorway was the last person I had expected to find—Nick.

  “Where do you come off telling me I don’t have a fulfilling life?” he demanded, slurring his words as he stumbled into my room.

  “Nick, what-”

  He didn’t let me speak; he seemed to be in his own world right now. His eyes were glassy yet bright, his face was red, and his expression was too animated. “I have a very fulfilling life. I have everything I could ever ask for. Who do you think you are coming in here acting all high and mighty, like you’re some sort of fucking saint?”

  He was hammered. I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to remember any of this tomorrow. I was pretty sure the toilet bowl was going to be his best friend tomorrow.

  What was
strange was he was actually acknowledging the things I’d said to him earlier on. Sure, the alcohol was probably doing all the talking for him, but you spoke your true feeling when you were drunk, right?

  “Nick, all I meant was there is more to life than just drinking and sleeping around,” I said in the most patient voice I could muster. There was no point in yelling at him right now. He was too wasted and belligerent to comprehend much.

  Which might not be such a bad thing since it was two in the freaking morning and I probably looked like I’d crawled out of a swamp. At least that part worked in my favor.

  “I like drinking. And I like fucking.” The way he said ‘fucking’ always made my stomach leap. He stopped short of me, and his eyes danced over my attire. “Women don’t say no to me. Ever.”

  My body flushed under his gaze, knowing very well what he was seeing. I was wearing shorts and a white top with thin straps, and my nipples were peeking through the sheer fabric.

  Quickly, I folded my arms over my chest in a lame attempt at modesty. How did I get myself into situations like this? All I wanted to do was go to back to my warm bed and dream about Channing Tatum sweeping me off my feet.

  “If that’s how you measure your life’s worth then go right ahead. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go back to bed.”

  Despite trying to maintain my cool, I was starting to become irritated with how obnoxious he was acting. Nick had this way of creeping under my skin like no one ever had before.

  “Yeah, it is a damn good way to measure my life’s worth.” He seemed just as irritated with me as I was with him.

  “Well, there’s something to be said about a guy who doesn’t get drunk and fuck girls.” I took a breath, trying to ignore the way my body grew hot from his wandering eyes. “There’s something to be said about a man who will just lay with you and hold you without wanting more.”

  “Every guy wants to fuck, doesn’t matter who they are. Some of them just aren’t as forthcoming about it.” Nick’s eyes flashed with anger as he folded his arms across his chest, mirroring me.