Paint

by Becca Jameson

  “What are you saying? I can’t possibly continue to attend services at St. Jude’s while engaging in behaviors you consistently remind me are immoral.”

  Father George took a deep breath. “I know. That’s why I think you should leave the church.”

  “What?” Now Luke leaned forward. What kind of a priest would suggest such a thing?

  Father George lifted a hand and continued. “I’m not speaking to you as a parishioner now, I’m speaking as your friend. Someone you’ve known for a long time, who has watched you grow and struggle and become the man you are. It’s time to leave the Catholic Church. There are many other Christian denominations, and some of them are far more open and affirming. I think you would find you don’t have to give up God entirely while you examine this side of yourself. As much as I hate to say this, I don’t believe it’s an either-or type of thing. What matters most is your relationship with God. Above all else. You have to get yourself right with God, not with me.”

  Luke was stunned.

  Father George nodded. “Please. Try another church. Maybe they’ll meet your spiritual needs better than I can. Particularly in light of the fact that I’d like to continue to have a relationship with you, even just as a friend.”

  Father George glanced down at his lap. “I’m so sorry, Luke. For so many things. You mother never wanted you to know. And perhaps it was selfish of me to tell you, but I couldn’t stand to see you in such pain thinking you were alone in this world. You are not alone. I know I can never be the kind of father you want, nor have I ever been, but I love you deeply, and I want you to be happy and healthy. I hope one day we can be close again. It might take a while, but I’ll always be there for you, day or night.

  “I won’t hound you anymore. Know I’m here. Come to me when you’re ready.”

  Luke couldn’t speak. He nodded.

  Father George stood and patted Luke on the shoulder. He paused for a moment and then left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Does my ass look big in this?” Olivia said, twirling in front of Nathan in a flared skirt and tight black camisole.

  “Your ass is perfect. Stop fishing for compliments. You know your ass is perfect.”

  Olivia nibbled her bottom lip. “Luke wouldn’t care if I were fishing.”

  Nathan shook his head. “He used the out-clause word, baby. I miss him too, but we at least need to give him some time.”

  “Coño. Estoy picado. Ticked off, I tell you. You and your out clause. Why did you even give it to him?”

  Nathan raked a hand through his hair. He’d developed the habit over the past few days. She was worried he’d start going bald if he didn’t cut it out. “I know you’re ticked off. But I thought he needed it. I gave it to him as a sign of trust. I didn’t think he’d freak out and use it the first time he had a cock in his ass.”

  “Stupid,” Olivia said. “It wasn’t the cock in his ass. It was everything else. We never should have let him come in here and demand sex. We should have talked. We should have gotten to know him, helped him stop worrying so much.”

  “I stopped by the Loft today, when I was on a lunch break.” Nathan’s flexible schedule was something Olivia envied, even if she’d hate to peddle drugs to hospitals like he did. She was tied to the store and had to work a lot of weekends and holidays, though now that she managed it, she set better hours for herself. Nathan still nagged her about getting a nine-to-five office job.

  “Did you see him?” she asked, plopping down in his lap.

  “No. The lady at the front desk said he called in sick for his last two classes.”

  Olivia turned to face him. “If he’s missing class, that means he’s losing money too. I’m worried, baby.”

  Nathan nodded. “Me too. But I don’t see what we can do.”

  Olivia sighed and rose from his lap. “Okay. Then let’s go to the dungeon. Kimber sent us a special invite. If anything, it’ll provide a distraction from just the two of us here.”

  “Are you angry?” Nathan asked, dropping kisses along her jawbone and cheeks, up to her forehead.

  “Not at you. I love you, baby. I always have. I’m pissed at the situation. But we’ll figure something out. We’ll find someone who’s right for us.”

  “That’s my girl,” Nathan said, patting her ass as she turned away. She hoped he didn’t see the sorrow in her face. They were both hurting. She was trying to make things better, come up with other options, but Luke’s absence was painful. Neither of them wanted anyone else. And even mustering the energy to go to the dungeon tonight took a Herculean effort.

  •●•

  Kimber met them at the door of the dungeon in a neon pink spandex dress and lace-up boots. She smiled wide and hugged both of them, smashing Nathan’s face into her ample chest.

  “Need to breathe here, Kimber.”

  She released him. “Sorry. Just excited to see you. I have a good surprise for you tonight.”

  Nathan raised his brows at Olivia, who shrugged.

  “I’m giving you a boy of your own to play with. He saw you two last time in the audience and requested to be yours for the night.”

  Butterflies took flight in Nathan’s stomach. “Who?”

  Kimber wagged a finger. “Nope. That’s the surprise. He’s going to be a waiter here, and maybe will do a few demo nights, but I told him we’d discuss it after you two were through with him. It’s hardly worth having him demo if you don’t think he’s up to snuff.”

  Nathan’s shoulders dropped. Not Luke then. Kimber knew all about how well Luke had done on demo night. Nathan plastered a smile onto his face and laced his fingers with Olivia.

  “By all means then, introduce us to your sub.”

  Kimber laughed. “Not my sub. I’m way too much of a woman for this one.”

  Olivia snickered and pulled Nathan into the main room of the dungeon. A St. Andrews cross was set up in the middle with a woman tied to it, a Dom in black leather pants and no shirt circling her as he traced a crop along her pale skin. Kimber directed Nathan and Olivia to the bar. “I’ll get your boy. You stay here and watch the demo.”

  Their boy. No. Not their boy. Their boy was home sick, worrying himself into a tizzy about his finances or sitting alone missing his mother or feeling crappy because of the Catholic Church.

  Nathan helped Olivia onto a barstool and stood next to her.

  The Dom cracked the crop on the left ass cheek of the bound sub, and she moaned in pleasure.

  “Still don’t understand how anyone could endure that kind of pain?” Olivia whispered.

  “I do,” a voice said from behind them, and Nathan’s heart halted.

  “Luke,” Nathan whispered and turned.

  Olivia jumped from her seat and wrapped her arms around their boy, kissing his face all over. “Luke Luke Luke Luke. We missed you so much, baby.”

  He trapped her cheeks in both his hands and kissed her back, open mouth and hungry. “I missed you too, gorgeous.”

  Nathan cleared his throat. “What happened?”

  Luke dropped his gaze. “It’s a long story.”

  Nathan grabbed the loop on his boy’s tight black jeans and pulled him forward, trapping Luke between his legs. “We have some time.”

  Luke nodded. “I’m sorry. Can I take it back? The out clause? Can I take it all back?”

  Olivia slid in next to him, her hands reaching for both his and Nathan’s. “Of course you can. It was a stupid idea anyway. We weren’t going to really let you go.”

  Luke’s gaze lifted. “Are you saying I can’t trust you at your word?”

  Olivia laughed. “Not about something like that. If Nathan hadn’t insisted on giving you a full two weeks, I would have camped out in front of your little classroom at the Loft and scared those kids half to death.”

  Luke smiled. “I love you, Livi.” Then his face turned bright red. “I mean…”

  She swatted him. “You mean, you love me. I know. What the
hell isn’t to love? I’m hot and can fuck two guys at once like a champ. Seriously, I’m basically the whole package.”

  Luke laughed hard, drawing looks from everyone in the room. Nathan beamed. His boy was so amazing when he let loose like that. And finally, for the first time, he didn’t seem self-conscious about it.

  “So,” Olivia continued, “is it true that you’re working, or can you take off and come bang me until my teeth rattle?”

  “I’m working. I mean, Kimber said I could be a waiter here or whatever, part-time. It doesn’t interfere with my classes at the Loft, and with the two jobs, I can cover my rent and start saving for college.”

  Nathan released Olivia’s hand and cupped Luke’s cheeks. “You don’t need to cover your rent. You need to come live with us and save all your paychecks to go back to school.”

  Luke licked his lips, and Nathan’s heart stuttered as he took in the whole picture of Luke before him.

  “Sit.” Nathan pulled out a second barstool and guided Luke toward it while Olivia climbed back onto her own. “Talk to us.”

  Luke ducked his face. “You don’t have to do this. Not here.”

  “Yes we do.” Olivia took his hand in hers and squeezed. “We feel awful for not recognizing what you needed from us. We thought we were doing the right thing by not pressuring you to open up. You seemed so stressed all the time, and we thought being with us was sort of an escape for you.”

  “It is. And I appreciate you both. I’m so sorry for snapping at you and then blowing things totally out of proportion. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  “You’re young and human. You make mistakes. We all do. But you have to talk to us. You have to,” Olivia said.

  “I’m not like you,” Luke said. “I’m worried you won’t want to keep me because I can’t be so out there like the two of you. I mean…the thing at The Playground? I don’t think I could ever do that. And when you showed up at work? I thought…well, I don’t want my job to be compromised. I’m more private than you.”

  “But you let Julian and Morgan play with you? Did they tape it?”

  Luke’s mouth dropped open. “What? No! And how did you know about that?”

  Nathan laughed. “We’re friends with them. Knew them before they became completely exclusive. And you mentioned you’d done a scene with a couple, but you were so new to all of this…” he waved an arm at their surroundings, “…the math sort of added up that Julian and Morgan had brought you in.”

  Luke flushed a deep red. “I didn’t… I mean, I wasn’t with Julian or anything.”

  Nathan nodded. “Thank God for that. I was afraid I’d have to hear the whole, ‘once you go black…’ thing.”

  “Nathan,” Olivia admonished, but had a twinkle in her eye. “You can’t say stuff like that.”

  “What? I fully admit that Julian has a way bigger dick than me and is a way firmer Dom. I mean, if you’re into that kind of thing. Some people really like it rough.”

  Olivia shuddered. “I can’t even imagine. Poor Morgan.”

  Luke nodded. “I didn’t experience that with them. The rough stuff. He was, um, really in control. It’s interesting, all that orgasm-withholding and how he owns the room. But not really for me, you know? I mean, they tape their sex? I can’t imagine how I’d explain that in confession.”

  Nathan eyed him. “We’re worried about your relationship with the church, Luke. It seems every time you go there, you pull away from us. You’re piling way too much guilt onto yourself.” Nathan set a hand on Luke’s thigh and squeezed.

  “I’ve decided to leave the Catholic Church.” He looked from Nathan to Olivia.

  “Seriously?” Olivia gasped. “Are you sure? That’s a huge step. We wouldn’t want to be responsible for causing a rift like that.”

  Luke shook his head. “It’s done. It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you all about it another time. But it’s a good thing. Really.” He smiled. “I’ve been looking at other churches. There are some really good denominations that are more open to our lifestyle. I think I’d like to try one.” He glanced at both of them again. “Maybe you two would even be willing to give it a shot with me.”

  Nathan scrunched up his nose. “I’m not sure I’m cut out for such a thing. They have a tendency to believe in God at churches.”

  Luke chuckled. “They do. It’s sort of the premise.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “I will too,” Olivia agreed.

  “Now, tell us about this job you’ve gotten yourself. It sounds like too much,” Nathan said.

  Luke set his hand on top of Nathan’s. It felt so good to have Luke touch him like that. “It’s not that bad. A few nights a week here. I want to save money so I can go to college. It’s important to me.”

  Olivia leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Then you shall. You’ll move in with us, like Nathan said. That will free up the money you’re paying for rent and make you more available to us whenever you aren’t working so hard.”

  Luke turned toward her and smiled. “You have this all worked out.”

  “Of course. I always have. You just weren’t listening.” She giggled. “I’m kidding, but seriously, please. Take us up on this. We want you with us. If you desperately want to work so many hours, we’ll learn to live with your schedule, but at least don’t throw all your hard-earned cash away on rent when we have no intention of letting you go to that apartment of yours very often.”

  “Okay.”

  Nathan jerked himself more upright. “Okay? You’ll do it? That easy?”

  “Yes. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to try it, maybe for a few weeks.” Luke lifted Nathan’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Thank you. Thank you both for being so patient with me while I had several tantrums and my pity party.”

  “Any time.” Olivia set her head on Nathan’s shoulder and sighed.

  “Olivia,” Nathan said, but didn’t drop his eyes from Luke’s. “Would you be a dear and go tell Kimber we’re taking our boy for the night? And tell her that for the future, he’s not to do any demos on the clock unless it’s beneath me.”

  Luke’s breath caught, and his eyes glassed over. Nathan dipped his thumb into Luke’s mouth and Luke obediently sucked on it. Jesus, the kid could bring his cock to attention just by blinking those big blue eyes.

  “Tell me what you want, Luke.”

  Luke tried to drop his gaze, but Nathan wouldn’t have any of it. He traced Luke’s lips with his spit-soaked thumb.

  “I want you to work me over.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because I need to let go of what I did to you. And I need your help with that.”

  “What you did to us? What did you do?”

  Luke licked his bottom lip. “I didn’t believe in you. In us. I left you because I was afraid.”

  “That’s true. You did.”

  “And you need to punish me for it.”

  Nathan’s lungs froze. It had been a long, long time since he’d done any kind of pain play. Olivia was such a wimp about even the lightest touch. And Nathan loved her enough to put aside the rush of flogging. But now, with Luke and his pleading gaze, Nathan was rock hard and ready to take it out on Luke’s ass.

  Olivia slid back in beside Nathan. “The night is all ours. Kimber says thanks for giving Luke our seal of approval.”

  Luke didn’t break eye contact with Nathan. “Sir, please.”

  “What? What are we talking about?”

  Nathan turned to her and put all the seriousness in his voice he could muster. “Olivia. Our Luke needs something. So I’m giving you a job tonight. And this is not a job you can half-ass or decide you don’t feel like doing. I need this, and so does Luke. Do you understand?”

  “What’s the job?” Her chest heaved, and Nathan could already see the signs of her getting turned on. That was his Livi. When he got deadly serious, she could be an exceptional submissive.

  “I need you not to speak. Not one word. Not even please. I need you to le
t me control this entire scene. Let me take care of you and Luke.”

  Olivia’s gaze dropped and her nipples pebbled in her shirt. Nathan reached out to pluck one of them.

  “Good girl.”

  He dropped his hands and circled each of their wrists. He had no idea if he’d be able to give them both what they needed. They were so different. But he was going to do everything in his power to try. “Let’s go home.”

  Luke shook his head. “Here.”

  “What?” Nathan stared at Luke, confused.

  “I want to do a scene here.”

  “No. Baby, I’m not flogging you for the first time in front of all these people.” Nathan shook his head. Olivia gasped, but didn’t say a word.

  Luke bit his lip. Nathan wanted to reach out and pluck it from between his teeth. “Then another scene.”

  “But you said you wanted a punishment.”

  “I do, but I want you to dominate me here first then.”

  Olivia opened her mouth before Nathan could stop her. “You don’t have to do that, Luke. We know you aren’t comfortable with public displays. It’s not a requirement for us. We’ll do our scenes at home. You have nothing to prove.”

  Luke shook his head again, a bit more vehemently. “You misunderstand. It’s not so much being watched that bothers me. It’s being watched by people outside the lifestyle. I always feel like they’re judging me.” He looked around. “Here, it’s different. No one here would judge me. I feel…safe.”

  Nathan pulled him in for a tight hug and then held him at arm’s length and narrowed his gaze. “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then let’s do it. Something you can handle. And then we’ll go home and I’ll punish you properly.” He grinned, hoping Luke grasped his meaning.

  “I already know what I want to do.” Luke turned his gaze from Nathan to Olivia.

  Nathan’s smile broadened as he realized what Luke had in mind. “Excellent.”

  •●•

  It was so much easier this time. Even though it was only Luke’s second public scene, he felt a calmness descend over him as Nathan led him and Olivia by the wrists to an alcove off the main room. Luke had toured the entire dungeon with Kimber earlier before most people had arrived. The first time he’d been there, he’d seen very little, and what he had seen was clouded by his nerves.