One More Try

by Rachel Hanna

  She nearly ran into the doctor leaving the room as she skidded to a halt in front of it. He raised an eyebrow at her, then smiled. “Oh, good. Listen, he needs another unit of blood and a morphine drip started.” He handed her the chart in his hand, incorrectly assuming she was the nurse who would be caring for the patient. With a hand that she didn’t control, Sadie reached up and took the chart, staring after the doctor as he walked away, grabbing the chart in front of the next room and heading inside.

  Like a statue, she stood stone-still, barely even remembering to breathe. Behind the thin curtain was the man she’d hated for the last two years, and by some insane twist of fate, he’d been brought back to her god only knew how broken and in need of medical care. Blood...morphine drip...neither spoke to a very good condition. With shaking fingers, she pried open the folder and looked inside. The doctor’s scrawl was slightly more legible than a three-year-olds as she skimmed the information inside.

  He was lined up for surgery for a punctured lung, had three cracked ribs, several facial lacerations and fractures, some internal bleeding in the stomach that had been temporarily repaired, and was on oxygen. He was breathing on his own, but it was labored with the bad lung, and there was swelling at the base of his spine.

  Sadie didn’t believe in magic, but part of her had to wonder...had all her hatred come back and caused Jake Donovan to be so badly injured? A few feet away, a rock star could potentially have lost his perfectly sculpted good looks, his powerful voice, and even his ability to walk. He was in bad shape, and Sadie honestly didn’t think karma owed him all that. At the same time, she felt like a terrible person because a small piece of her, the piece that still ached every day from his easy dismissal of her, was glad he hurt, wanted him to understand pain, even if it wasn’t the same kind of pain.

  Shaking her head to clear it of those evil thoughts, she took a deep breath and grabbed the curtain, straightening her shoulders and determined to see what harm had truly befallen that beautiful, if toxic, man.

  She gasped. Bandages, monitors, wires, tubes...they seemed to overwhelm him and make him look small in the hospital bed. She couldn’t see the extent of the wounds on his face for all the bandages and the oxygen mask, but she could imagine. He was unconscious, apparently had been the whole time. Sadie couldn’t believe her eyes, and she sure as hell couldn’t believe this was happening.

  “What are you doing?!” The hissed whisper behind her made Sadie jump, and she turned, blushing at being caught, to find Joan, having cleaned up her tears but still sporting a splotchy face with swollen eyes. “I thought you said you weren’t a fan.”

  She thrust the folder angrily at Joan. “I’m not. The doctor caught me in the hall and handed this to me. You’re welcome to treat him. He needs a unit of blood and a morphine drip.”

  Joan shook her head. “I’m being sent home. No budget for the overtime I’ve already pulled.” She pushed the folder back against Sadie’s chest. “You’re the better choice for him anyway. I have too much emotional attachment to get involved with his treatment.”

  Sadie nearly scoffed but swallowed it. If Joan wanted to talk about subjectivity, Sadie was sure she’d win the gold medal in this case. But she really didn’t want to air her dirty laundry, not when she’d just started her life over. So, she simply nodded. “I’ll find one of the relief staff to take over. I’m only on for another 3 hours. It would be better to set him up with someone who’s going to be here all night.”

  Joan shrugged, as if letting it go. “Why don’t you walk out with me? You could probably use some fresh air right now.”

  But Sadie shook her head. Yes, she wanted to get out of here, the room suddenly feeling small and her lungs deprived of oxygen. But she wanted to go to the smoker’s corner and chain smoke until she was wired with nicotine, and she wanted to do it alone. Resigning herself to the fact that she’d have to do this one task before she could pawn off the rock god’s care to someone else, she shooed Joan on. “It’s alright, I’m going to take care of this and find him another nurse. I’ll take a break then.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.” She gave Joan a weak smile she didn’t feel to send her off, then turned back to look at the patient. How on earth had things turned out this way?

  It would be alright, she told herself. She wasn’t going to be in the ER again for another week, and she was sure one of the other nurses would have much greater appreciation for getting the opportunity to attend to the Jake Donovan. She could keep her distance, stay on the other half of the emergency wing, and when she left tonight, she would have washed her hands of the entire ordeal. In fact, Jake Donovan would never even know she was there.

  Sleep evaded Sadie, and she entered the hospital the following day grumpy, an unpleasant frown on her face. She made her way upstairs to the Intensive Care Unit and, seeing her coworkers, plastered a smile on her face. Fake it till you make it, she grumbled to herself. That’s what her mother had always told her. She’d never managed it before, but there was a first time for everything.

  “Hey, darling.” Freda Burgess greeted, chomping on gum as usual. The older nurse from Georgia always bubbled with happiness, and Sadie was grateful to be on shift with her. If anyone could drag her out of her sleep-deprived funk, it was Freda.

  “How’s the roster today?” Sadie asked, tossing her purse under the counter with all the others and taking a seat at the nurse’s station next to the woman she admired for her dedication and knowledge.

  Freda shrugged. “Same shit, different day. Although, we got several new patients up here since I left my last shift. All from that big bus accident. Does anyone know exactly what happened?”

  Sadie didn’t want to talk about it so she shook her head. “I don’t’ know. They all came in on my last shift, and I was so busy trying to find room for all of them I didn’t bother to ask. And I haven’t exactly been watching the news.”

  “I understand that. All the depressing crap going on in this world. What happened to human interest stories?” Freda shook her head. “Well, Danielle’s leaving now, so you’ll get her roster of patients.

  Lucky for you, the majority of them are still unconscious and stable. You only have one or two loud ones complaining like old farts.”

  That made Sadie laugh genuinely, and she looked up to say hello and goodbye to Danielle as she collected her personal things and left. Then, she turned to the computer and scanned the list of patients on their floor. Taking a deep breath, she prepared for her first round to check in and get vitals, patting Freda on the shoulder as she passed.

  She started at one end of her hall, following her routine. It calmed her nerves, and by the third room, where a young girl with facial lacerations and some damage to her kidneys lay with her mother sitting sentinel, she was able to bring a smile to both faces and she felt like her old self. She waved over her shoulder at the girl and headed to the next room, grabbing the chart hanging on the door without looking and walking in with just a quick knock.

  The room was silent except for the sound of a respirator and the beeping of the monitors, and she guessed this was yet another unconscious patient. She opened the chart and looked down at it as she headed toward the bed, but she stopped cold two steps from the rail, dropping the folder and fixing her eyes on the patient.

  Bloody hell.

  How in the name of everything holy had Jake Donovan ended up on her roster? She gritted her teeth as she looked at him, his face still a mess, his body still limp and bandaged. If it was anyone else, she’d feel sorry for them, do what she could to bring them out of this comatose state. But it was Jake Donovan who lay in the bed in front of her, and she found it damn hard to be objective in her care. If he woke up on her shift, and she had to look into those eyes, she’d probably punch him in the face and lose her job. This wasn’t healthy for her, and she backed away from the hospital bed, fully intending to trade Freda for her patient load.

  But that would involve explaining the situation, and sh
e wasn’t ready to divulge that information, nor to relive the pain for the fifteenth time in as many hours. Tears prickled her eyes as she realized the truth of the matter. She was stuck, had no choice in this. She’d have to suck it up and provide this patient – she couldn’t bring herself to even think his name right now and stay calm – with the same care as everyone else.

  Resigning herself to her fate, Sadie heaved a deep sigh and shuffled her equipment and the file.

  Luckily, she didn’t have to touch him...much. She hit the button on the blood pressure cuff and waited for the results, wrote down his pulse-ox, and recorded his heart rate. Per his chart, he was on a morphine drip, but it looked like the antibiotics he was on had run almost dry. She’d have to replace that and, in another hour, set up a new painkiller.

  She should’ve passed the job to the tech, but she rarely made someone else care for her responsibilities, so she pressed on and finished the job, moving onto the next patient, though her mood had definitely fallen several notches.

  “You’ve got a ripe scowl on your face, sweetheart. Is everything alright?” Freda asked as she returned to the nurse’s station.

  Plopping down in one of the incredibly uncomfortable chairs, Sadie shook her head. “I’m fine. I just have some old ghosts haunting me today.”

  “I don’t think they’re haunting you, darling. Whatever ghosts have that look on your face are full on possessing you.” Freda chuckled. “Why don’t you go have one of your coffin nails? It might at least take some of those frown lines from around your eyes.”

  Sadie nodded, and stood back up, but she couldn’t imagine the dark cloud lifting from over her head until Jake Donovan was no longer under her care.

  ***

  Shadows and light. Some far away beeping noise. Or several. Intermittent voices. The dark fog surrounding his thoughts wouldn’t clear, and sharp pain shot through his head as he tried to make the sounds and images swirling around connect into rational thought.

  Jake tried to move, but he wasn’t sure if his limbs cooperated or not. Everything was heavy, both numb and aching at the same time, and his lungs hurt. As he lay there trying to draw in a deep breath, he realized there was something over his face. He tried to reach up to feel it, but his arm fell limp at his side, and the arrogant beeping noise grew louder, more insistent.

  There was a loud thump, and a voice, but he couldn’t make out the words. He strained to hear better, to comprehend, but it was no use, and he felt himself swirling back into a black hole.

  ***

  Sadie’s shoulders fell as she breathed her relief. The monitors had gone crazy, and she’d come into the room to find Jake’s fingers moving, his head turning ever so slightly. His heart rate had elevated, and he was breathing hard, but he seemed to have passed out again, his body and mind not quite ready to accept his predicament. Hopefully, he’d stay that way for just a few more hours and wake up on someone else’s watch.

  She hurried back out so she could catch the doc on duty and let him know there’d been some progress, and he promised to swing by and check in. Checking the clock, she sent up a silent prayer of thanks – her shift would be over in just a couple of hours, and she could go home and enjoy a couple of days off. By the time she came back, she figured Jake would be doing much better and she wouldn’t have to worry about running into him on her shift.

  Realizing her hands shook from the near-miss, Sadie pulled out her pack of cigarettes and headed downstairs, letting Freda and her tech know she’d be back shortly. As she reached the smoking area, her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she grimaced as she saw on the caller ID that it was her mother. The last person she needed to talk to right now was her mother. Sadie had a weakness for spewing anything going on in her life to the woman, and she didn’t want her mom to know just how upset she was.

  Ignoring the call and lighting up, she thought back to the whole situation with Jake. Her mother had offered no support, and told her what a dumb idea it had been to get tied up with someone ‘like him’. In her mother’s language, that meant a scummy rock star who slept around and treated women like dirt. And in hindsight, Sadie knew her mother had likely been right, but Jake hadn’t seemed that way at the time. He’d seemed sincere and stand-up, genuinely interested in her.

  She’d been so young and dumb.

  She stubbed her toe hard against one of the concrete columns, wishing she could kick herself instead, or at least Jake Donovan. She’d been hesitant to date at all since that night. Her whole life revolved around her work now, which was great for building her career but sucked as a whole. She had no social life, and she had no clue how to act around men without blowing them off or shooting them down.

  Growling in frustration as she stomped out the last of her cigarette, she ignored the questioning gazes of everyone around her and stomped back inside, trudging up the stairs only to find that there was a bit of a commotion on her side of the floor. Breaking into a jog, she wanted to vomit as she approached the sound of monitors again going off and Freda and the tech coming out of the room, smiling at her. “Your patient’s awake.”

  This couldn’t be happening. Nausea crept through Sadie’s intestinal tract, up her esophagus, and threatened to spill out in front of her. With heavy limbs, she slowed and started to approach the room, taking deep long breaths to try not to hyperventilate. Not sure if it was anger or fear that tormented her at this point, she squared her shoulders and reminded herself that the patient was her priority and he would receive the same treatment as anyone else, regardless of her own personal feelings. She’d just have to ignore who he was. After all, it wasn’t like he’d recognize her.

  Chapter 3

  The bright lights nearly blinded Jake as he blinked several times, his eyelids heavy and crusted over with what felt like a year’s worth of sleep. Every joint ached, and there were several places on his body that felt as though he’d been slammed by a moving truck, then run over again while he was on the ground.

  A woman and a young man toiled over him momentarily, then disappeared from his view, leaving him feeling stranded as he realized he was in a hospital bed. He couldn’t really lift his head without the whole room swirling, so he lay there, staring at the ceiling and waiting in hopes that the pain and nausea would subside.

  He heard footsteps closing in and carefully rotated his head to the side to see who had entered the room – the older woman or the young man – but it was neither one. In fact, he wanted to laugh. “I must’ve hit my head pretty bloody hard.”

  The nurse frowned down at him. “On a scale of one to ten, how’s your pain, sir?”

  He stared in awe, barely registering her question as she wrote down his stats. The bright light created a halo around her head, and for a moment, he wondered if he’d died, and something along the way to heaven had gotten all messed up. If he was staring at this angel, he shouldn’t be in this much buggering pain. He wiggled his fingers and his toes and winced as all his muscles and tendons protested. “I’m right about a ten-point-five, love.”

  He continued to watch her, certain that, if he was alive, he was hallucinating. He’d never been one for drugs, but he was sure they were pumping him full of some concoction now that was making him see things he right well shouldn’t be seeing. Of course, she was a vision, one he thought he’d never see, but that didn’t mean he appreciated the fact that he’d been drugged to the point of daydreaming. That kind of thing hurt more than his physical pain.

  “Well, sir, we’ll have to see if we can get you something stronger for pain.”

  “I’m ripe sick at my stomach, and I think I’m seeing things. Got anything for that, love?” Her voice was harsh, and even in his compromised state of mind, he found himself wanting to hear the warmth he expected from that face, the sweet lilting Southern hospitality and flirtation he imagined.

  “I can take care of that as well. Give me a few minutes, sir.”

  And that alone made him wonder...yes, it definitely must be a hallucination. He wat
ched as she started away from him, admiring her attractive bum, and he couldn’t help himself as he called after her, “Sadie?”

  She stopped moving, and though his vision was a mess, he could tell she tensed. Dear god, he wasn’t hallucinating. It was really her. “Sadie.” This time, he said rather than asked it.

  “Is there something else you need, sir?” she asked in a clipped tone without turning around.

  “You are Sadie.” He breathed the words, hardly able to believe what was in front of him. How long had it been? “You remember me, don’t you?”

  Sadie’s thoughts swirled. Jake Donovan remembered her. By name. Either he had a photographic memory or...

  She shook her head. No, the only other possibility was that he’d hit his head really hard in the accident, and it was bringing back memories clearly that he shouldn’t be accessing. Slowly, she turned to face him, keeping her expression as stoic as possible, regardless of the pain churning inside. “Mr. Donovan, you’re a difficult person to forget. But that’s not what’s important. Today, I’m your nurse, and I need to let the doctor know that you’re conscious and in a lot of pain. I also need to get some nausea meds for you to help your stomach.”

  “Wait, Sadie, please.” He sounded almost desperate, and she watched as he made an effort to reach out to her. He winced in pain at the movement, and his arm shook until he had to let it drop. But she refused to offer him a soft spot in her heart. No, she wouldn’t let him manipulate her, even now as he lay in a hospital bed. “Sadie, do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?”

  That was just ridiculous, and she scowled at him, wanting to scream at him for lying but choosing the higher road instead. “Mr. Donovan, I’m not going to have a personal conversation with your right now. I’m on duty, and I have patients to care for, including you. Now, if there is nothing else, I’ll go get the medication and make sure you’re more comfortable.”