Death in Time

by Robyn Nyx

  “But you’ll put forward a strong case?” The future of her best friend rode on the back of this decision.

  “What you’re proposing makes a lot of sense. There doesn’t seem to be much negative about it,” Jenkin said. “I wonder, though, if we should be concerned about how other operatives and staff will respond. Will they accept such a decision and be fine with it?”

  Landry nodded. “Delaney’s well liked and highly respected by the team. I think doing anything other than this and you risk a schism.” Simson was disposable and wouldn’t be missed. If anything, her disappearance might well be celebrated. “Doing this shows the board in a very favorable light. You recognized your responsibility for some of what happened, and you’re doing something about it. It’ll go some way to bridging the gap between the generals and the soldiers, you know? You’ve seen something go wrong, and you’re putting safeguards in place to make sure it never happens again. And you’re not abdicating your social responsibility to Delaney by sweeping her under the carpet.” Landry’s mom and Jenkin were nodding as she spoke. It made perfect sense. Now that the ball was rolling and it was looking positive, she could talk to Delaney about it and quash the specter of her memories being taken away from her. Landry had deliberately neglected to mention Ilsa again. She wanted the keeping or losing of those memories to be Delaney’s decision. It was a choice Landry was glad she didn’t have to face.

  Chapter Thirty

  The firm rap on the door woke Delaney from a satisfying slumber. It was the first half-decent sleep she felt like she’d had in months. Her first instinct was to berate the intruder until the door opened and Landry stepped in. Relief flooded over her like a warm and welcome tropical rainstorm.

  “Hey, buddy, what’re you doing sleeping on the job?” Landry smiled, punched Delaney on the shoulder, and sat in the armchair beside her. She put the two cups of coffee she’d been holding in her other hand on the table between them.

  Delaney swung her legs to the floor and sat back on the sofa. “Talking about my emotions is more tiring than a fifteen-mile hike with an eighty-pound pack on my back. Have you had a nap yet?” Dark circles under Landry’s eyes indicated she hadn’t.

  “Other than the twenty minutes in the regen pod, not yet. There’s been a lot to talk about with Jenkin, and I wanted to sort it out before I came to see you.”

  Delaney waited for her to continue, unsure whether she should share her plan to escape or listen to what Landry had been trying to organize. Honesty. If she’d learned anything from all of this, it was that Landry had her back. She picked up her cup and took a sip. “I’m glad you’re here. I want to run something by you.”

  “Okay.” Landry settled back into her chair and propped her legs up on the coffee table. “Talk to me.”

  “I can’t do this, Landry. I can’t just lie back and let them steal my memories. I know I’ve done wrong, but I don’t need to lose my sense of self to reinforce that.” Tell her. “I have to get off this island before they do it. Will you help me…or at least, not stand in my way?”

  Landry leaned forward. “What if there’s another way?”

  “I don’t see it. I either get away before they wipe my mind or I lose my mind. It’s not like there’s a multitude of options.”

  Landry shook her head and put her hand on Delaney’s shoulder. “I’ve spoken to Jenkin and my mom. I’ve asked them to consider just mind-wiping the run up to the Chicago mission and keep you on the island, training other operatives until you’re ready and willing to go back on missions. What do you think?”

  Delaney could see the prospect excited Landry, and it was an unexpected option that meant she wouldn’t lose Landry…or Ilsa. “What have you told them about Ilsa?”

  “Nothing. I mentioned a little of it to Jackson and Mason in passing, but they don’t have enough information to say anything. I wanted you to be in control of whether or not you lose that memory.” Landry sighed deeply. “When I thought Mom had wiped Jade’s mind, I was terrified. The thought of her no longer knowing who I was, what we’d shared, who we were together, shattered me.”

  Landry’s honesty reinforced that Delaney had made the right decision to trust her with her thoughts of escape. “I don’t know what I want to do about her. I know the easy thing would be to erase that part of the mission, but I feel like I’m a better person because of what Ilsa and I shared. I don’t think I want to lose that.” Delaney thought of their time together, in and out of bed. The sex had been amazing, yes, but it was a part of a much bigger connection on an emotional level that Delaney had never experienced before, not even with Landry. Comparing the two was like comparing silk and granite. She realized that now. Landry had been an obsession, a friendship she hadn’t known before that she’d mistaken for something deeper. But the depth of intimacy she’d had with Ilsa was in another time zone altogether. “I know I can’t ever be with her, but I want to feel that way again. Not yet, for sure. I’ve got to grieve my loss. But if I lose that part of myself, it really was all for nothing.”

  “I get that. If you let someone in and really open up, they leave an indelible mark on you, and you’re enriched as a person because of them.”

  Delaney bounced forward on her sofa. “Exactly. And if I let my memories of Ilsa go, and the me I was when I was with her, how long will it be before I allow myself to be that open again? Because I won’t know how fucking fantastic I felt.”

  Landry shrugged. “I wish I had the answers for you, buddy, but I’m trying to figure out this love thing, too.” She drank her coffee in one slug and pushed the mug back on the table. “It does sound like you’ve already made up your mind though. Ilsa can’t possibly be a part of your physical life, but you can keep her alive in your head. You can live the way you would’ve because of the effect she had on you.”

  Delaney shook her head. “Who’d have thought me and you would ever have a conversation as fucking soppy as this shit?”

  Landry laughed. “Not me. Could be this is some crazy alternative reality and this isn’t actually us.”

  Delaney smiled at the thought. If only it were. Perhaps then, she’d have more control of her own life and could choose a happy ending for herself. They sat in companionable silence, and Delaney was grateful Landry was allowing her to drive the conversation. She drifted back to Landry’s plan. Her proposal relied on a collective decision of the board. Delaney couldn’t take that chance. “What if they don’t go for it? What if they’re too scared of me going down the same road?” For all of Castillo’s talk about Pulsus wanting to learn and not repeat mistakes, surely that would mean eliminating the original source of the problem?

  “Dee, they know they fucked up with you. They realized they didn’t look after you when there were warning signs, and this gives them the chance to make up for that.”

  Delaney wanted what Landry was proposing. She’d get to stay at Pulsus doing what she loved, and she wouldn’t lose Landry’s friendship. “Could you trust me again, in the field, with your life?”

  Landry shook her head as if Delaney had asked the most ridiculous question she could ever think of.

  “I’ll admit that I thought I’d lost you for a while, Dee, but when it really came down to it, you were there. You’ve always been there, and I don’t want to imagine a Pulsus mission without you by my side. One was enough.”

  “I want to buy what you’re selling, Landry, I really do. But this is my life we’re talking about. What if the board says no and I’m taken by force for the mind wipe? What if you can’t stop them and now is my only chance to escape?” There were just too many variables. She needed Landry to help her escape.

  “If the board doesn’t go for it, which I think is a big if, I’ll help you get off the island.”

  Delaney could see Landry was genuine, but had she thought through the consequences fully? “What about your mom? Isn’t your loyalty to her and Pulsus?”

  Landry shrugged. “Mom and I are in the best place we’ve been for a long time. But if i
t comes to you having to escape, we’ll make it look like I didn’t have a choice. You won’t need to worry about the consequences. I’d handle them.”

  Delaney shook her head. “I don’t deserve you as a friend.”

  She evaded the punch Landry threw her way. “Don’t talk shit. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. You’re my chosen family, Dee. I’ll do whatever I need to do. I just can’t bear to think of you out there, not being you. And you won’t be, not if I have anything to do with it.”

  Landry had never let her down before. She’d saved Delaney’s ass just as many times, if not more, than she’d saved Landry. “If I’m sticking around to see how your plan pans out, I want a solid escape route worked out now.”

  “Fair play. Let’s do it.”

  Delaney sighed, glad to have Landry back on her side. The future seemed much less scary not having to face it alone.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Brooke shifted in the leather chair she’d settled in over half an hour ago. There were five seating options in the small room, and since she’d been left alone, she’d tried all of them before finally deciding on this one.

  She was a little irritated by the supposed welcoming committee. She couldn’t be mad at Donovan. It’d become clear she’d taken a huge risk by bringing Brooke back with her, but she exhibited a devil-may-care attitude to her mom and the boss. Brooke had gathered from the heated conversation that went on around her as if she wasn’t even there, that Jenkin, the boss, had kind of given Donovan permission to bring Brooke back by not expressly forbidding it. Donovan’s mom, Elena, seemed angry because the whole board hadn’t been given the opportunity to discuss the potential of her return.

  Donovan made a great case for her; it was so convincing she even had Brooke agreeing that she’d earned the right to this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that it seemed no one before her had ever been afforded.

  Elena had decided they should continue their discussion without Brooke, which made sense since she hadn’t been given the option of saying anything for herself. The fact that she’d passed out and been only vaguely conscious for much of their conversation might have been a contributing factor. Donovan instructed her to stay there and not move. Brooke had assumed that she hadn’t meant it literally though, and the excitement of what was beyond those doors and the world outside had her shifting from chair to chair in a futile attempt to keep herself occupied. There was nothing in the room to capture her attention. No books, TV, or computer. What does the internet look like now? Technology moved so fast, Brooke couldn’t begin to grasp the potential of what lay beyond those doors, and the anticipation was driving her insane.

  She tapped her feet on the floor and tried to think of the lyrics to her favorite song, but they eluded her. She wondered if memory loss was a side effect of the time travel. Would all her memories fade because she wasn’t meant to be in this time at this time? Slightly panicked, she pulled out her wallet and checked the photograph of her family. She’d seen a time travel movie once where people in photographs faded, and she was relieved to see her dad, mom, and sister all present and correct. Would she look at this in days to come and not recognize their faces? Jesus, I should’ve asked more questions.

  Nails tapping on the door window distracted her from a spiraling anxiety. Seeing Makenzie peering in felt strangely settling, and she leapt up from her chair to let her in.

  “Thought you might appreciate a friendly face.”

  Brooke blew out her cheeks. “You’re okay with me being here, then?” She really hoped so. She wanted to have the chance to get to know Makenzie and was worried she’d blown it by not being truthful with her about coming to her time.

  Makenzie grabbed Brooke’s arm, pulled her out of the room, and closed the door. “Of course I am. If Landry Donovan wants you here, it’s definitely not for me to disagree.” She held up an open pack of Twizzlers. “Want one of these? Black cherry and mascarpone—only invented two years ago. You look like you could appreciate that kind of flavor.”

  Makenzie grinned and Brooke’s heart raced. Her smile animated her face, making her both beautiful and incredibly cute at the same time. Brooke had no love for black cherry but took one of the twisted sticks of candy anyway. It wasn’t as if she expected Makenzie to be easily offended, but she didn’t want to appear rude. “Thanks. I love candy.” I love candy? Jesus. Makenzie still held Brooke’s arm and led her along the corridor back toward what she’d named the landing room. No doubt it had some fancy clever name, but that’d do for now. “You’re not sending me back already?”

  Makenzie shook her head. “Nope. I’m taking you to the health suite. We’ve got to make sure you don’t have any communicable diseases before we release you into our general population.”

  Brooke let out a short laugh. “Like rabies?”

  “Who knows what you picked up from rolling around in someone’s bed.”

  Makenzie glanced at her quickly, too quick for Brooke to attempt to decipher the look on her face. Why would she care whose bed she’d been rolling around in? “That’s not my bag.” The need to explain her pre-Makenzie behavior didn’t make sense, but then neither did Makenzie’s insinuation that Brooke might be a player. She noticed a half smile form and then drift away. Brooke chewed on her candy stick to keep her from saying or asking anything stupid, though she had questions she was desperate for answers to. Donovan had given her thirty minutes back in the factory pre-jump, and she’d asked as many questions as she could think of, but now that she was here, so many more had occurred to her.

  “Don’t you have any questions?”

  Great. Now she thinks I’m stupid because I haven’t asked anything. “Sure, I’ve got plenty, but I was saving them for the chief.”

  “The chief’s passed you on to me for now while she deals with the Delaney situation. I’ve been asked to orient you.”

  Quality time. “Cool.”

  Makenzie looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “You can relax, you know. You’ve already been authorized to stay.”

  “I am relaxed.” She cursed herself, knowing the speed of her response illustrated otherwise. Brooke smiled at her with a knowing look.

  “Really? I’d be interested to see what uptight looks like, then.” She stopped at some double doors that opened automatically. “Here we are. Let’s see how contagious you are.”

  Brooke tilted her head. Ah, come on. “Let’s hope I’ve not already given you something.” She cringed as soon as the words left her mouth. Like an STD? I’m so goddamn smooth.

  Makenzie gave her that look again and shook her head before entering the room. Brooke followed silently, convinced she was making a complete fool of herself and keeping her mouth shut would probably be the best course of action if she were to ever save the situation.

  “Hey, Dr. Sal, this is the new recruit Jenkin should’ve messaged you about. Did you get the details?”

  Makenzie addressed the back of a lab-coated man slumped over some vials of colored liquid that Brooke couldn’t place. He pushed away from his desk and spun around on his chair. He pushed a stray clump of hair back over his balding head and stuck out his hand.

  “Brooke Jackson? The FBI agent from Chicago?”

  She clasped his hand and was pleasantly surprised by his vigorous handshake. “That’s me. Pleased to meet you.”

  Makenzie sat in an empty chair and put her feet on a stool.

  “So no doctor-patient confidentiality?” Brooke looked at Makenzie, and she simply smiled back. It was one of those smiles that came naturally to certain women and made Brooke as malleable as air-dry clay in their hands. She pushed away the mental image of being in Makenzie’s hands and switched her attention back to the doctor. “Where do we start?”

  Dr. Sal pulled a metal clipboard from the table beside him and zipped through around ten pages of questions on her health, her family history, and her diet. She answered honestly and diligently, but the whole time, she was watching Makenzie in her peripheral visio
n, trying to gauge her reaction to Brooke’s answers, particularly the really personal ones about her sex life.

  “I was told you fainted?” Dr. Sal stated but made it sound like more of a question.

  Fainted. He made it sound weak, and Brooke didn’t want Makenzie to think of her that way. “I passed out.” Because that sounds so much better. “Is that not usual for a first-time jumper?” She savored her last few words. She was now a time traveler. That would impress any other woman she’d ever met, but Makenzie already seemed like a seasoned jumper.

  “Side-effects can vary depending on the physical health and mental strength of the jumper in question.” Dr. Sal tapped his pen on his clipboard. “It’s not unusual.”

  Great. Now I sound mentally weak. “What happened to you on your first jump?” Maybe she didn’t want to know the answer.

  “I was violently sick,” Makenzie replied and winked.

  Brooke didn’t know whether the wink meant she was joking or whether it was a camaraderie thing and she was trying to put Brooke at ease. “Seriously? You’re not saying that to make me feel better?” Brooke’s mom had always said, if you want to know something, ask. She’d never been one for playing games, but in the FBI, she’d had to be careful about who she trusted with her questions. Some perceived it to be weakness and tried to exploit it. Makenzie didn’t seem like that kind of person, and Brooke’s judgment rarely missed the mark.

  Makenzie smiled genuinely. “Seriously. But I’m a newbie and I’ve only done six jumps, in and out. I still get pretty nauseous, but the chief told me she does too.” She glanced at the doctor. “I don’t think anybody’s got the gall to tell Landry Donovan she’s weak, in mind or body.”

  Brooke returned her smile, grateful for her honesty and lack of machismo, though Makenzie had every right to brag. There were hundreds of thousands of soldiers the world over, but she was a time traveling soldier. It made Brooke wonder how big this operation actually was.