Controlled Burn

by Shannon Stacey

  He wasn’t so sure how he felt about it, though. Watching her walk to the exercise bikes, her ass perfectly displayed by the yoga pants or tights or whatever the hell they were called, was excruciating. And the longer she was around, the harder it would be to keep telling himself he didn’t want her.

  Deliberately choosing a weight station that didn’t have him facing the exercise bikes, Rick wondered how long he’d have to work out in order to wear his body out to the point it didn’t react to Jessica. But he knew, no matter how much he made himself sweat, he didn’t have that kind of time.

  Chapter Six

  “Today would be a good day to drive over to Brookline and pick out a Christmas tree.”

  Jessica glanced over at her grandmother from the stove, where she was scraping and folding eggs in Marie’s big cast iron skillet. She’d never made eggs this way—scrambled in a little of the leftover bacon grease—and eating them was going to cancel out what little good she’d accomplished at the gym yesterday, but they were going to be worth it. She hoped. When Marie made them, they were delicious, but this was Jessica’s first attempt without help.

  “You mean a real tree?” she asked. “Wouldn’t it be easier to have an artificial one?”

  “Easier, maybe, but we both like the look and smell of a real tree, so as long as we have Rick to help Joe carry one in and set it up, we’ll stick with tradition.” Marie pushed another four slices of bread into the toaster and smeared butter across the slices that had just popped. “I know you have to go home for the holidays, but if we get a tree now we can at least share a little Christmas spirit while you’re here.”

  “What are you scheming now, woman?” Joe asked as he walked into the kitchen, no doubt lured in by the smell of bacon and coffee.

  “Did Rick mention having any plans today?” Marie asked instead of answering the question.

  Jessica turned off the burner and divvied up the scrambled eggs between the three plates on the counter as her grandparents discussed whether or not they should bother Rick and argued about how long the tree had lasted last year and if they should wait another week. She had a feeling Joe would lose on that point, since Marie’s primary motivation seemed to be sharing the experience with her.

  She wasn’t sure she could take another day with Rick, though. It was one thing to be attracted to him and indulge in a very secret fantasy crush. But when they’d built the plywood frames for Marie’s bushes, he’d looked as if he was going to kiss her. And then, at the gym, they’d both spent the entire time trying—and failing—to pretend they weren’t sneaking looks at each other. If he felt the attraction as strongly as she did, separation might be the only way to resist temptation.

  And it was Monday, though the only way she’d been sure when she woke up that morning was by looking at her phone. Since her grandparents were retired and Rick’s work schedule was so different from the norm, she was having trouble keeping track of what day it was. While she’d done a round of email responses and market research reading before they started breakfast, she’d need to video chat with Sharon later. And she needed to check on the many end-of-year processes, especially the tax forms.

  “What kind of Christmas tree do you like, Jessica?”

  She realized Joe was talking to her. “I don’t know. Aren’t Christmas trees pretty standard things?”

  He laughed. “Besides the fact there are a lot of different kinds of real trees to choose from, there are also artificial ones. Some even come in weird colors. Those don’t seem like Christmas decorations to me, but young people don’t always embrace traditions.”

  Jessica dealt out the toast and bacon Marie had made to each of the plates with the scrambled eggs and carried them to the table. “I have a small artificial tree, and it’s the kind with the lights already strung on it, but it still looks traditional. My father likes the fiber optic trees and the one we use for the office party has colors that change in time to a music playlist. It’s fun, I guess, but not one I’d want in my home.”

  “You need to experience a real tree,” Marie said. “Joe, after you finish your breakfast, call Rick and see if he’s busy today.”

  Three hours later, Jessica was bundled into her grandmother’s parka and warm boots and sitting in the backseat of Rick’s pickup with Marie. She was sitting on the passenger’s side, behind Joe, so she had a perfect view of Rick’s profile as he drove. He looked relaxed as he drove through what looked to Jessica like an insane network of narrow streets, talking about sports with Joe.

  Marie chattered away about the neighborhoods they passed through and Jessica was able to pay attention well enough to say the right things at the right times, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking at Rick. He hadn’t shaved that morning, and she was free to admire the scruffy line of his jaw. When he smiled at something Joe said, his eye crinkled at the corner.

  “Oh, there’s a wonderful secondhand store near here,” Marie said. “It’s all high-end and designer stuff, so of course it’s all barely worn before they get rid of it to make room for the newest trends. A friend was telling me about all the bargains she got on school clothes for her grandchildren.”

  “It’s always nice to save money,” Jessica said, watching Rick as he took a big gulp of coffee from the travel mug he’d brought. His throat worked as he swallowed, and she had a crazy urge to run the tip of her finger down over his Adam’s apple.

  As the truck rolled to a stop at a red light, Rick turned and looked back at her. The questioning arc of his eyebrows and the amused tilt to his mouth told her he was definitely aware of her watching him. Blushing, she turned her head and looked out her window.

  “I bet we could find you some nice winter things there,” Marie continued, seemingly unaware of the silent look Jessica and Rick had just exchanged. “Some sweaters, maybe.”

  Jessica laughed. “I’m definitely going to have to ship boxes back to San Diego. There’s a limit to how many suitcases the airline will lug across the country for me.”

  “Why wouldn’t you just leave the winter clothes here? You have the closet and the dresser, and we can always get some of those vacuum bags to store the sweaters and things in if it’s going to be a while between visits. Oh, and you can pick out new bedding, of course. It’s been so long since we redid that room it’s not even funny.”

  “It’s fine,” Jessica assured her, but her chest ached a little at the thought of the room not being a guest room, but being her room. And it did make sense to leave the winter clothes there because, as she smiled at her grandmother, she knew that she’d be making frequent trips between San Diego and Boston for what she hoped would be many years to come. “And you’re right about leaving the winter clothes here. That way I won’t be carrying them to California and back for no reason, since I definitely won’t wear them there.”

  Left unsaid was the possibility she wouldn’t have a room for long. While leaving behind the few cold-weather belongings she’d accumulated wouldn’t be an issue, she wouldn’t make herself too much at home while their future in the house was still uncertain. But if they moved into a smaller place, it wouldn’t stop her from visiting. She’d either stay at a hotel nearby and pack her suitcase for the weather, or she’d rent a small apartment or look into a time-share or whatever she had to do.

  When they arrived at what looked like a real farm—something Jessica hadn’t expected to see within a short driving distance of her grandparents’ neighborhood—she was touched by the care Rick showed in helping Marie climb out of his truck. Then he walked around the front end while Joe was getting out and offered his hand to her.

  After a moment’s hesitation, she put her palm over his and their fingers curled together as she stepped out onto the running board and then hopped down. When her feet hit the ground, though, he didn’t let go right away. She met his gaze as the touch lingered, and the awareness hung between them. He
didn’t want to let go of her hand and she didn’t want him to.

  “Ten bucks says we look at every tree on the lot and end up buying one of the first three she looks at,” Joe said.

  After holding her gaze for a few more heartbeats, Rick released her hand and turned away. “No way in hell I’m taking that bet. This isn’t my first Christmas-tree-lot rodeo with you two.”

  But it was Jessica’s first time, so she tried to shake off the lingering effect Rick’s touch had on her nerves and lose herself in the experience. Joe wasn’t kidding when he told her there were all different kinds of Christmas trees. Some had tinier needles than others, and some had almost a bluish tint. There were tall, elegant trees, and round ones so full it would probably take yards and yards of garland to make it from top to bottom.

  “Jesus, Marie, that tree would take up half the living room,” she heard Joe say, and she laughed at the massive tree her grandmother was checking out.

  Rick leaned close enough to speak quietly in her ear, putting his hand to the small of her back. “He says that at least twice every single year.”

  She could barely concentrate on the words he said with his mouth so close to her ear. And even through her thick coat, she could feel the weight of his hand. “They’re a funny couple. I can’t imagine being married to somebody as long as they’ve been married.”

  “At the rate I’m going, I’d have to live to be a hundred and thirty or so.”

  She laughed, then started walking as her grandparents moved on to another stand of trees. Rick moved with her, his hand still on her back. “I think you must have some fundamental flaw I haven’t seen yet in order to still be single. Don’t most women think firefighters are sexy?”

  “I think they find the idea of firefighters sexy, but the reality can be tough. Long shifts. Sometimes the hours are erratic. There’s a lot of worrying and waiting when you’re married to a firefighter. And all of that’s before you start factoring in the emotional toll the job can take on the guys. Sleep problems. PTSD. Alcoholism. Anger management issues. The long-term toll on our health.”

  “You’re right. That’s not sexy.” She tilted her head back so he could see her smile. “You should tell people you’re a financial advisor. No excitement there. We don’t have sexy T-shirts, though.”

  “I have a newfound appreciation for the sexiness of financial advisors, actually.”

  She turned her attention back to her grandparents when a hot blush spread across her cheeks. There was nothing subtle about his flirting now, or the hand on her back, and she was suddenly anxious. With five more days until the charity hockey game, there would definitely be enough time for them to get into trouble before she went back to San Diego. And she wanted it—wanted him—but there was no denying it would be a short-lived fling that could have long-term repercussions.

  Watching Joe and Marie squabble over a tree she seemed to think was too scrawny, Jessica reminded herself she was here to help them conduct business. And their interests might not align with Rick’s. Being Joe and Marie’s granddaughter was already a huge conflict of interest. This thing that may or may not be happening with Rick would be even worse.

  “What kind of Christmas trees do you like?” she asked, feeling a need to change the subject.

  “I like them all, from scraggly little Charlie Brown trees to big old city square trees. My very favorite real trees are ones that are well-watered and have yearly inspected light strings on them. And no extension cords.”

  She laughed. “You’re right. You’re totally a safety junkie.”

  “I can’t help it. And as for my own personal tree, I rarely get one. I usually work Christmas Day, and I spend Christmas Eve with my family in Fall River or with Joe and Marie. I have a ceramic one from possibly the 1970s that plugs in and has little light-up bulbs that Marie gave me, and that’s enough.”

  “Rick, what do you think of this one?” Marie called, and he let his hand fall away from her back. “Joe says it’s too fat.”

  He shrugged. “It’s a little...round, to be honest. I think it’ll either block part of the television or it’ll block any light coming through the window, depending on where you put it.”

  Marie sighed. “Jessica, what do you think? You should pick one you like.”

  Jessica was new to family politics, since she’d only really had to worry about keeping one person happy for most of her life, but she figured the best way out of this was to suggest a tree neither Joe nor Marie had already presented a case for. “There’s one we just passed that seems like a perfect height and it’s not too round. And it has that bluish look that’s really pretty.”

  Fifteen minutes later, the tree had been run through a machine that wrapped it in netting. After Rick put it in the bed of his truck, Jessica closed his tailgate while Joe helped Marie into the passenger seat.

  “Nicely done, by the way,” Rick said in a quiet voice. “That’s the quickest I’ve ever seen them agree on a tree.”

  “If I ever join a dating site, I’m going to make that a test question. Do you like tall and skinny Christmas trees or round, fat ones?”

  “A smart man will respond with whichever tree my wife falls in love with.”

  She wasn’t sure about smart, but she was pretty sure that was the answer a guy like Rick would give. She hadn’t known him long, but she’d known him long enough to know that he’d choose whatever put a smile on his family’s faces.

  An ache spread through her body, and she gave him a quick, tight smile before going around him to get in the truck.

  Whoever finally won Rick’s heart was going to be one very lucky woman. It kind of sucked that, thanks to their circumstances, she didn’t have a shot at it.

  * * *

  Rick wasn’t surprised when Marie tried to veto the traditional practice of letting the tree sit for a while to let it settle. She was all in on Christmas while she had Jessica there.

  “You have to give it twenty-four hours to let the branches fall,” Joe told her. “You know that.”

  “The sooner we get it all decorated, the longer Jessica has to enjoy it.”

  “I’ll be here at least through the weekend,” Jess said. “And I’ll probably take a lot of pictures and make them my screensaver at work so I’ll feel festive and think of you every time I’m at my computer.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” Marie sighed and looked at the tree, still in the netting and leaned against the wall.

  Rick smiled from his spot on the couch. It was fun watching Jess figure out how to make both of her grandparents happy without actually taking one’s side over the other. It was a skill she was developing pretty quickly considering she’d only known them for a week.

  He had to believe it was because she felt genuine affection for them. Maybe she’d come to Boston with the intention of pushing them into selling the house and getting her hands on a slice of that valuable real estate pie, but he couldn’t be sure. What he could be sure of was the fact she was seriously bonding with her grandparents and their genuine well-being would be her primary consideration going forward.

  “We can at least get the decorations out,” Marie said.

  “I’ll go drag the boxes out of the garage,” Rick said, thankful to have something to do. “We can put it in the stand and give it some water, plus we can inspect the lights. Jess, you want to give me a hand?”

  She looked startled for a second, but recovered quickly. “Sure.”

  “The storage loft in the garage doesn’t have a light because I need to replace the bulb socket and keep forgetting. I just need you to hold a flashlight for me.”

  He wasn’t sure why he’d made the request. There were windows at either end of the loft and enough light filtered in so he’d managed to drag the Halloween decorations out and put them away without a flashlight. It was just like the plywood frames for
the bushes all over again. He didn’t need her help. He was just using it as an excuse to spend time alone with her.

  It would be awkward to back out now, so he waited while she shoved her feet into sneakers and put a sweatshirt on for the short walk to the garage. After unlocking the side door, he flipped on the main lights and led her to a narrow wooden staircase at the back of the garage. The loft was basically just plywood over ceiling joists, but it was dry and a lot easier to access than the attic space in the house.

  “Wow, there’s a lot of stuff in here,” Jessica said as the flashlight beam danced around the boxes, plastic totes and miscellaneous junk stacked high.

  “Yeah, but it’s more organized than it looks. Stuff that probably should have been thrown out fifteen years ago is in the back, under the eaves. The closer you get to the center, the more recently the stuff’s been used. The front’s mostly decorations for the various holidays.”

  Suddenly Jess squealed in a choked, horrified way that made it sound as if she was being strangled, and Rick turned, hoping she hadn’t cut herself on anything. Non-adventurous, indoor sort of people tended to go a long time between tetanus shots.

  But when he saw her face, he couldn’t hold back the laughter. She must have strayed too far into the corner because she had a mess of cobwebs in her hair and across her face and chest.

  “Where’s the spider?” she asked in a small voice.

  “What spider?”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you think made the cobwebs? A stray cat?”

  “They’re probably old. Like a spider starter home, and it’s already moved on to something bigger and better.” He set down the box and moved toward her. “Are you afraid of spiders?”

  “Not usually, but I’d rather not have one on my face. And I hate cobwebs.”

  “Stay still. I’ll get them off.” He wiped the sticky strands off her face first, his fingertips skimming over her soft skin. Her lips parted slightly when he touched her, and he found himself staring at her mouth.