The Mad Voyage of Prince Malock

by Timothy L. Cerepaka

  “What do you mean?” said Vashnas. “Of course she cares. She agreed to defend me so I could kill you.”

  “Oh, she didn't really mean it,” said Tinkar. “Remember, the Mechanical Goddess is a southern goddess. She has little interest in mortals. She is also smart, smart enough to realize what would happen if I died. No, Vashnas, the Mechanical Goddess simply fooled you, just as I asked her to.”

  A stunned silence filled the room. The only one who didn't looked stunned by this particular revelation was Kano, perhaps because she already knew about it.

  “What?” said Vashnas. “What do you mean ... asked her to?”

  “Exactly what I mean,” said Tinkar. “You see, Vashnas, I've always known that someday you would come back for me. Not because of my ability to see the fate of mortals—I cannot see yours, thanks to the Curse of Senva—but because you were so filled with rage and hate at me when you first left World's End so many years ago. I kept an eye on you as you made a life up north, waiting for the day when you would finally decide to strike back at me.

  “Then you met Hanarova, that idiotic servant of the Mechanical Goddess. The Mechanical Goddess told me about you, about how you offered her a deal: that you would kill me in exchange for the Mechanical Goddess's protection.”

  “That's because I knew the Mechanical Goddess hated you,” said Vashnas. “She wanted you dead as much as I do.”

  “And that, I am afraid, is where you are wrong, my pretty little fish,” said Tinkar. “The Mechanical Goddess and I have had, ah, strained relations ever since the War, that's true, but she knows better than to risk another War via deicide. She decided to pretend to help you in order to give you over to me, thus circumventing the problem entirely.”

  “But ...” Vashnas struggled to come up with a response. “So you're saying, I was duped?”

  “Of course,” said Tinkar. “As old and long-lived as you are, Vashnas, you are nothing more than a mortal. You cannot out-think us, even if you tried to manipulate we gods into fighting each other. The only reason I let you get this far at all is because I wanted to see just how crushed you would look when I revealed the truth to you. And I must say it was worth every minute I waited.”

  Vashnas's hands shook, shook so bad that Kinker thought she was going to fall apart. “What now? Are you going to banish me from World's End again?”

  “No,” said Tinkar. “I am going to do what I should have done to you a long time ago: Kill you where you stand, so I no longer have to worry about you causing any trouble.”

  He raised his hand, but he never got to do whatever he planned to do because Malock stepped in front of Vashnas and said, “You aren't going to harm her. Or even touch her.”

  The throne room's atmosphere changed perceptibly. Tinkar looked enraged, while Kano seemed be trying hard not to smirk.

  “Are you directly challenging me?” said Tinkar. “Me? A god?”

  “Not challenging you,” said Malock. “I'm simply protecting Vashnas. There are a lot of things she and I don't agree on, but I would die myself before I let anyone kill her. And that includes if the would-be killer in question is a god who controls fate.”

  Tinkar actually stood up. His back was still bent over, but that didn't stop him from looking like he was going to murder Malock where he stood. “Such insolence. It has been years since a mortal last stood up to me like that. I will not let you get away with this unpunished.”

  Kano held up a hand and said, “Remember the Treaty, Tinkar. Malock is still under my protection. You can fume at him all you want, but you can't kill him. I will intervene if you try anything against him.”

  Tinkar threw her an irritated glare, but he did sit down, his eyes full of anger and hate. “Yes. I almost forgot. I am so used to smiting insolent mortals that the terms of the Treaty almost crossed my mind. It does not change the fact, however, that I want to kill Vashnas.”

  “I care not what you choose to do to her,” said Kano. “Insofar as harming her harms Malock, however, then I must step in.”

  Malock looked brave, standing there in front of Vashnas like that, but Kinker noticed the slightest tremble in the prince's demeanor. No wonder; if Kinker had stood up to any gods, he, too, would have been trembling in his boots. Vashnas looked both astonished and grateful at Malock's actions.

  Kano turned away from Tinkar, who looked like he wanted to murder her, and said to Malock, “With that out of the way, I do believe it is time we discussed the reason I summoned you here in the first place.”

  Malock looked up her eagerly, though he still stood in front of Vashnas. “I am all ears, my goddess.”

  “Of course, the reason you are here has to do with why I asked Messenger-and-Punisher to allow Kinker inside, too,” said Kano. “I am sure you were wondering about that.”

  Malock glanced at Kinker before saying, “Yes, I was.”

  Kano put her hands together, looking more than a bit excited. “You see, Malock, I summoned you here for a very specific reason: To deliver Kinker here, a task that I must say you completed admirably well.”

  It was amazing how quickly Malock's expression changed from excitement to disbelief. “Excuse me, Kano, I don't believe I heard you right. Did you say—“

  “That you were supposed to deliver Kinker to me, yes,” said Kano, nodding. “You heard right.”

  Malock and Vashnas looked at Kinker in disbelief as the old fisherman said, “Me? But why would you want me?”

  “That's the same question I was going to ask,” said Malock, before Kano could speak. “Forgive me for impudence, my goddess, but I was under the impression that you had summoned me for a reason, that you were going to reward me with something.”

  Kano tilted her head, as if puzzled. “Why would I ever reward you? You have done nothing to deserve any reward. Admittedly, you are the first mortal in many years to reach World's End alive, but that is mostly due to my protective aura and luck.”

  “But ...” Malock looked like he had just been told that his favorite kitten had died. “Why did you summon me at all? Couldn't you have ordered Messenger-and-Punisher to bring Kinker to you instead?”

  Kano put the tips of her fingers together, as if deep in thought. “Messenger-and-Punisher is not really a very good transporter. Mortals who are taken by him to anywhere—even if it's only a very short trip—usually come out of it little more than gibbering lunatics. I wanted Kinker to be sane, so I decided that having you bring him to me would make more sense.”

  Malock looked like his brain was working overtime, as if trying to comprehend what he was hearing. “But ... I ... what ...”

  Kano turned to Kinker and smiled at him. “The point is, you have made it here, alive and in one piece. And that, Kinker, my loyal follower, is an accomplishment.”

  “This is an honor, Kano,” said Kinker, when he finally found his tongue. “To be chosen by you—“

  “What makes Kinker so special?” Malock snapped, his voice higher than normal for some reason. “I am sorry for the tone, Kano, but Kinker is ... I mean, he's just a fisherman from a backwater island in the middle of nowhere. Why did I have to deliver him? Why did I have to risk life and limb just to play delivery boy?”

  Tinkar smirked, probably enjoying the mental anguish that Malock was experiencing right now. Kano, on the other hand, looked amused at Malock's questions.

  “Because of your nature,” said Kano. “You are stubborn and driven. Considering the dangerous nature of the southern seas, I considered those values to be highly important. I believed that a man like you would reach World's End eventually, even if it you lost your ship, which as I recall nearly happened more than once.”

  Malock ran a hand through his hair in sheer agony. “You mean this entire time I ... I ... then why didn't you make Kinker a Chosen One?”

  Kano raised an eyebrow. “You mean you failed to notice how he was one of the few members of your crew to survive my younger brother's misguided attack on your ship back on Stalf? I suppose I shouldn't h
ave expected you mortals to know, considering how blind you are to the aura Chosen Ones give off, but I would have thought it obvious much the same. How else could he have survived murder season around the seas of Destan?”

  Malock was briefly at a loss for words. He opened and closed his mouth several times, looked at Kinker helplessly, and then drooped his shoulders. He looked down at his feet as Vashnas placed a hand on his shoulder.

  “But that doesn't explain why you wanted me, though,” said Kinker. “I mean, I am honored to have been chosen by you, Kano, but why would you want me? Especially after what I did back on Destan. I would think you would have wanted to punish me for my crimes.”

  “You committed crimes?” said Vashnas, looking at him in surprise. “I always thought you were too good for that.”

  Kano regarded Kinker with confusion. “It was just a mortal boy, Kinker. Hardly a precious life. No, what you did or didn't do back on Destan is—“

  “Just a mortal boy?” Kinker interrupted, despite himself. “My goddess, I was forced to murder the boy in cold blood. Surely that must mean I am deserving of some kind of punishment.”

  Again, Kano looked confused, almost as if Kinker was speaking a language she didn't understand. “But it's true. Who cares about the life of a puny mortal infant? He likely would not have gone on to do great things. Right, Tinkar?”

  Tinkar grunted. “It's true. The boy was fated to die at your hands, Kinker, since his birth. Besides, we gods have killed far more mortals than just a boy. It's not like a forced murder disqualifies you from godhood.”

  Kinker blinked. “But I—wait, did you say godhood?”

  Kano smiled and said, “Ah, I'm glad to see that you're catching on. Yes, Kinker, the reason—the whole reason—I summoned Prince Malock to deliver you here is to ascend you into godhood, as is your rightful destiny.”

  Kinker's heart stopped. He was sure of it. It had to. He looked into Kano's eyes, wondering if she was joking, but she looked completely serious. Tinkar looked just as serious, if a bit grumpy. Malock and Vashnas looked as shocked as he felt; in fact, Malock looked totally floored.

  “Me?” said Kinker in a weak voice. “Ascend to ... godhood?”

  “Yes,” said Kano. “Lucky you. Very few mortals have ever been fated to join our ranks. The last one was my lovely wife Niham, who ascended six hundred years ago to this day.”

  Tinkar grunted. “I still hold that that particular ascension was a mistake.”

  “Only because you wanted to kill her for not groveling at your feet as a mortal,” Kano pointed out. “But I digress.”

  Kinker raised a hand. “But ... why me? I am not special. I am not a prince, like Malock. I am not a priest or a rich man. I am actually quite poor. The only real skills I have are my fishing skills, but I don't think being a good fisherman means I am qualified for godhood.”

  Tinkar laughed. “You think we chose you? Hardly. We gods are so jealous of our status, we'd never choose any mortal to join our ranks if we could help it. Niham was a freak exception. No, when you were born, I saw in your future that you were going to become one of us someday.”

  “But that doesn't make any sense,” said Kinker. “Someone had to choose me, right? I mean ... right?”

  “Likely the Powers did,” said Kano. “The Powers set the destiny of every mortal under the sun. I imagine that at the beginning of time, they set your destiny so that you would become a god one day. And that day, I am happy to say, has finally come.”

  “I still don't understand,” said Kinker. “Don't you already have enough gods? I saw the statues back in the lobby. There are hundreds of you guys, maybe even thousands. What domain could I possibly control, were I to become a god?”

  Kano smiled, a rather sad one. “A small one, I imagine. We don't have a God of Fishermen yet. Considering that that is what you specialize in, we speculate that that is supposed to be your domain.”

  “Wouldn't Tinkar know what I'm supposed to do as a god?” said Kinker, pointing at the God of Fate. “I mean, he knows the fates of all mortals, doesn't he?”

  “I do,” said Tinkar. “Except for yours. Before Kano chose you, I saw up to the moment of your ascension. Beyond that, my powers fail me because I cannot see the fates of my fellow gods.”

  He sounded sore about that particular limitation on his powers.

  “This is all hard to take at once,” said Kinker, putting his hands on his head. “I mean, all of it just seems so—“

  “No!”

  Everyone turned to look at Malock, who had shouted. His eyes bulged, his fingers twisted strangely in his hands, and he was breathing heavily.

  “No, no, no, no!” Malock boomed, his voice so loud that even the two gods seemed to cringe at the noise. “This can't be true. Can't be. Just can't.”

  “What do you have your pants in a twist for?” said Tinkar in disgust. “Are you going insane? Because if you are, this Temple is no place for that.”

  Malock pointed one shaking finger at Kinker and said, “Him. That old fool.”

  “Fool?” said Kano, sounding genuinely surprised. “Malock, I thought you liked Kinker. Considered him a friend, even. Why do you insult him so?”

  Malock pulled his hair, almost ripping it from their roots, looking utterly insane. “It just doesn't make any sense. It makes no sense at all. I was chosen. I am Prince Tojas Malock, Crown Prince of Carnag, Son of King Halock and Queen Markinia, Captain of the Iron Wind, Chosen One of Kano, and a thousand other titles that I could list. I should be the one ascending to godhood. I should.”

  Tinkar chuckled. “Sorry, mortal. We didn't make the rules. The Powers did. If you have a problem, bring up with them ... if you can survive the Void, that is.”

  “Shut up,” Malock said, pointing at Tinkar. “Shut up, you evil, malicious, conniving son of a bitch. You've done nothing but make my voyage a living hell right from the start. You've killed off most of my crew, sunk my fleet, tried to have one of your followers kill me and Vash, all because of some grudge you have against Kano. Did you somehow manipulate fate so I wouldn't be chosen to become a god? Is that it, Tinkar? Is that it?”

  Tinkar stood up from his throne again; this time, Kinker doubted he would return to his throne. “Did you just tell me, a god, to shut up? You mortals are truly arrogant. I always considered it amusing how you would give yourself 'royal' titles and prance around acting like that meant anything, but until now I never understood just how arrogant mortals like you really are.”

  “I am not arrogant,” said Malock. “I am only pointing out the truth. I should be the one ascending to godhood. My family was chosen by Grinf himself to rule Carnag. Kinker is just an uneducated peasant from an island that doesn't even have a king. This is unacceptable.”

  “Oh, so you're pulling out the ‘divine right of kings’ card now?” said Tinkar with a smirk. “Right. Even we northern gods know better than to declare certain mortals rulers over others. Most likely, Grinf didn't do that sort of thing. It wouldn't be just and we all know just how obsessed my twin brother is with justice.”

  The way Malock looked now reminded Kinker of someone he had seen back on Destan some years back. It had been during murder season, when the seas around Destan were at their most dangerous. A certain rich man, not a priest but married to one, had left out his magnificent houseboat that he had bought from a northern company that built houseboats. When the morning came, the magnificent houseboat had been reduced to nothing more than scraps of wood on the water. The way the rich man had looked when he saw it reminded Kinker of how Malock looked now.

  “So ...” Malock's hands shook. “You mean there's nothing special about me. Or my family.”

  “Nothing at all, mortal,” said Tinkar in a gleeful voice. “The Powers love to mess with our expectations. 'The first will be last and the last will be first,' as the old saying goes.”

  Malock fell to his hands and knees. He looked like someone had punched him out.

  “I am glad we have that out of th
e way,” said Kano. “I am sorry, Malock, but it is true. Your destiny is not to become a god. You will simply remain a mortal.”

  Kinker felt sorry for Malock, but before he could go over and comfort the prince (despite Malock's rantings against him), Vashnas moved. She ran over to Kinker, moving much faster than Kinker could follow, and grabbed him with two powerful, slimy hands. She immediately pulled him in front of her, with his back to her, one hand twisting his right arm behind him, the other wrapped tightly around his neck, almost constricting his windpipes.

  “Vashnas!” said Kano. Like Tinkar, she stood up, too. “What are you doing to Kinker? Let go of him now.”

  “No,” said Vashnas behind Kinker. “I may be unable to kill Tinkar thanks to his godly nature, but Kinker isn't yet a god. Therefore, I am at perfect liberty to kill him.”

  Malock had gotten back to his feet now and was looking at Vashnas in horror. “Kill him? But why? Kinker didn't do anything to you.”

  Vashnas snorted. “Maybe not, but I saw how much anguish his destiny has caused you. The gods raised your expectations, making you think you would receive the most beautiful prize imaginable, and then pulled the carpet out from underneath your feet. Because I still love you, Malock, I can't stand by and let you suffer while Kinker gets an undeserved prize.”

  “But you don't need to kill him,” said Malock. “I know I was ranting and raving earlier and yes I am still jealous, but I would never wish death upon Kinker. This isn't right.”

  “It is right, Malock, and you know it,” said Vashnas. “Besides, I have nothing else to live for. I will die soon anyway, I am sure. I might as well go out with a bang, if you know what I mean.”

  Kinker wanted to say something, but his throat was being crushed under Vashnas's powerful grip and he was unable to hit her with his right arm due to the way she was positioned. He looked with panicked eyes up at Kano, but it was clear that the sea goddess could do nothing to help him in this situation.

  “I am sorry, Kinker,” Vashnas said in his left ear. “It's nothing personal. I really do like you as a person, despite what you did to that little boy. It's just revenge. You understand?”