Revive

by Mary Wasowski

  I climbed onto the bed and wrapped my arms around him. His body stiffened at first, but I wasn’t letting go. I was going to prove to him right here and now that I was not going anywhere. He was my always and forever. Carter showed me what real love is and how great we were together. I never knew it was possible to love anyone the way I did with him. Not everyone may understand how we worked, but it didn’t matter because we knew. We knew what we had. We fought like hell to get where we were.

  This was soul crushing, the kind of power that had the ability to literally decimate one’s heart. This was his grief making him doubt what we had, and me for that matter. No more, Carter, no more. I promised I would not run, and I was sure as hell not allowing him to run from me.

  I said, “Carter, listen to me, please.”

  “Why, Thea? You never listen to me.”

  “That’s not fair. Please don’t do this.”

  “Do what, baby? Tell you the truth? Call you out on your reckless behavior? Yeah, Thea, I know all about my father confronting you yesterday at my home, and by the broken hand you now have, clearly you handled him in the only manner you know,” he said as he shoved back and out of my arms.

  I argued, “You say I pull away from you? Isn’t that what you are doing right now? I put my arms around you to hold you. To show you how much I love you. To show you in neon lights that I am not going to run. You asked me to trust you. You asked me to believe in love. You asked me to believe in the happy and not to look back. So I did all those things, and now you are questioning it?”

  “How the fuck do you want me to answer you, Thea? Do you want the soft truth? Or the harder kind? Because I have literally ripped myself open for you. I have bled out to hold onto what we have, and every time I believe we have moved past the crap that held us back, you do something to put us right back there. I didn’t want you going back to my house, but you pushed and pushed until I gave in to you. If that bastard would have hurt you, I would have killed him myself. I fucking hate my father. I hate him, Thea. I hate how he used and abused my mother for practically their entire marriage. I hated him for the affairs he had. I hate that I have a brother and a sister in the world, and I don’t know them. I hate how he is now back, but not to show any remorse for his years of sins, but to collect on what he feels he fucking deserves.”

  He continued, “You see, my mother was extremely wealthy. She was incredibly smart, and for years she protected her interests and kept them far away from my father’s greedy hands. She was a loving mother and protected me throughout my entire young life. She always put me first. She was the one that taught me how to love. She always told me that when I found the right person to share my life with, the girl who landed me would be so lucky. She said, ‘Don’t hold back, son. Be honest and direct, no matter what.’ So that’s what I did when I met you. From our first date to right here in this room, I have shown you every part of me. I have bared my soul to you, Thea, and I just don’t know if you would do the same for me, and that scares the hell out of me.”

  He said, “My father could have hurt you. He’s done it before with my mother. And when I found out that he did the same with you, I wanted to beat him within an inch of his life, but I walked away because that sonofabitch is not worth it. I love you, Thea. I love you so much more than you probably love me. I guess I have always felt this, but I stayed. I stayed because you are worth it.”

  I responded, “And now? Are you having an epiphany or something? Because I don’t buy it, Carter. You say I pull away from you? If you walk away from me now, then that’s exactly what you would be doing. Please, Carter, love me forever. Don’t break your promises. You believe I pull away, but you’re wrong. I want to protect you just like Clarissa did. I thought I could handle your father and his words couldn’t hurt me, and I promise you they didn’t, but that didn’t mean they didn’t piss me off. Yes, I punched him just like Sonny showed me. I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face. He is a mean-spirited man.”

  “That’s putting it mildly,” he said as he looked over at me and smiled. Even in anger, he was beautiful.

  “Carter, please forgive me for yesterday. I made a mistake, and probably not the first one I will make through the course of our life together. I have never been in a real relationship, not like what we have. It’s unfamiliar to me, and I don’t know what I am doing here. I know I love you, and I know you love me, so that’s a start. Please, baby, let me help you. Let me love you past your pain. I promise that your heart is safe with me.”

  I could say no more to Carter. It was now up to him. To stay or to go, but I wouldn’t be the one. He would have to leave me…and if he did? I would run as fast as I could to catch him because Carter Ryan Newbanks was worth the effort.

  He said, “I’m not going anywhere, Thea. To lose you would just be unbearable to ever live through. So, you have me for life.”

  He didn’t need to say anything else, because I was already in his arms. He carefully carried me back over to our bed, where he held me for a while before removing my robe and making love to me.

  After the storm passed and we made love through the haze, we showered and ate breakfast together. My hand was back in the brace Dr. Avery wanted me to wear. I know it looked ugly, but I hardly felt any pain from it at all. I was too wrapped up with Carter to pay any mind to it. Before putting on the brace, Carter insisted on examining my hand. He kissed each bruised knuckle before helping me into the brace. The sight of the bruises angered him again, but I was relieved it wasn’t directed at me.

  “Carter, can you tell me what happened with your father?” I knew I was pressing my luck, but I really wanted to know.

  “Thea, I’d rather not if it’s all the same to you. Yesterday was a complete disaster for my well-being, and then seeing you hurt and what happened this morning with us, I just don’t have the energy to go through it again.”

  “Will you ever tell me?” I asked.

  “Yes, of course I will. Since you called us out for the day, maybe we can go back to bed for a while, and then maybe I will be up for sharing once I get some rest, but baby, you have to join me.”

  How could I ever deny Carter of anything when he so truthfully told me how he felt? We walked upstairs hand-in-hand to our bedroom and got into bed. I kept my brace on for support, and Carter was careful and again laid on the opposite side. We slept for three more hours until a sharp pain in my hand woke me up. It was the first time since yesterday that it bothered me. My hand was still very swollen, and I debated calling Dr. Avery again but didn’t want to worry Carter. So I treated it as he advised me: more icing, and I took the anti-inflammatory meds to help with the swelling.

  “Are you feeling any better?” Carter asked with concern showing all over his face.

  “Yeah, the pills seem to be working, but I don’t want to take them if I don’t have to.”

  He said, “Sweetheart, if they are needed, you take them. I don’t want to see you in pain.”

  “I feel the same way about you. It breaks my heart to see you hurting. How about that talk now?”

  “Are you up for taking a walk? I could use some fresh air,” he suggested.

  “I would love that. How about the marina?”

  “Perfect.”

  We drove Carter’s Porsche with the top down. The warm sun kissed my skin. It felt amazing to be out and with Carter looking a lot more relaxed. We stopped at our favorite dockside bar and shared a shrimp cocktail, and then Carter was still hungry, so he ordered a crab cake sandwich. Where does he put it all? I guess with how hard he works out, he could afford to splurge a bit with the calories. We settled the bill and then walked past where all the boats were docked. The seagulls were feasting on the leftover bait the fisherman had dumped. Carter smiled while looking out to the ocean.

  I told him, “It’s good to see that again.”

  “What, baby?”

  “Your smile. You know, you are kind of beautiful.”

  He said, “You spoil me with your complimen
ts. You don’t have to butter me up to get me to talk. I’m ready now to do so. Where would you like me to begin?”

  “Your father.”

  “I figured. Yesterday when I could not find you, I went back to my house and just missed you. I know this for two reasons. One, my neighbor Mr. Nash was quite taken back with the ‘rude’ woman who liked to use the word ‘fuck’ a lot. He said you bristled past him and sped away in your car. After hearing that, I searched my house and saw that you emptied the safe. I came downstairs to see my father nursing the wound you left on his face with a bag of frozen peas to his cheek. Needless to say, I did not take it well knowing you were responsible for that, and two, he was in my house and uninvited.”

  “Carter, in my defense, he came after me. I had no choice but to mace him.”

  “You did what?”

  “He didn’t tell you that part?”

  “No, he did not. Oh my God! This just gets better and better.”

  “You’re not angry?”

  “Not in the least, and especially not with you. He’s a bully, always has been. Next to my grandmother, you are the only woman to ever go up against him and still remain standing. I am proud of you for defending yourself. He should have never been there in the first place.”

  “Why, Carter? You need to help me out here. He wants to see you, and was not happy to see this ring on my finger. It’s why he nearly assaulted me.”

  “He will never get it, not ever. Ruth was his mother, and as you know we were very close. She was always kind and loving. Those wonderful traits that made her the woman she was did not continue with my father. The contents in my safe do not even come close to what I have stored securely in an off-site vault. After my grandfather died, Ruth stopped wearing her wedding rings. She said it served as a painful reminder of losing her love, so it was stored with her jewelry collection. I didn’t see the ring for years until I met you. She had it brought up from her vault and gave it to me. It is a Cartier emerald cut diamond. It is similar to the ring Prince Rainier gave to his love, Grace Kelly.”

  I looked at the ring and said, “Wow, I had no idea. Again, I don’t have to keep this ring if it is going to cause so much drama with your father.”

  “Thea, I don’t care about him and neither should you. That ring, my mother’s collections, and a few pieces that belonged to Ruth, now belong to me, and my father has no right to them. Believe me, Thea, it is ironclad, and there is nothing my father can do about it. He stopped being my father years ago, and after what he did to my mother, I am resolute in my decision. I’m just happy he did not succeed in hurting you. I can’t believe he tried. I guess your dad’s friend taught you well.”

  “He did, but now I have a broken hand as a result of this Queens girl losing her temper.”

  “I would expect nothing less from my girl. So I was thinking…since your ring is now on your left hand, how about we just move forward with our wedding and make it official?”

  “No big wedding? You just want to elope?” I asked.

  “Yes, I do. Losing my mother has only reminded me how short life is, and whatever time I have, I want to spend it with you and not waste one minute not loving you as your husband.”

  “Okay, I’ll have to call mama and then track Rosalyn down, but yes, let’s do it.”

  “Yes! You have made me so happy. I love you, Thea.”

  “I love you too, Carter.”

  The enormity of the past few weeks finally hit me, and I could no longer hold back my tears. Crying was the last thing I wanted to do, but I could not stop the strong emotion that had been building since Clarissa died.

  “What is it, baby?” he asked as he took his thumbs to wipe away my tears.

  “Carter, are you sure you are okay? I have been trying to get you to talk to me for weeks now, and with your father showing up and my broken hand, is it too much? I don’t care if we have to go down to city hall. I just don’t want to pressure you into marrying me, especially when you are still grieving for your mom.”

  He sighed deeply, held me in his arms, and said, “Please, Thea, whatever my father said to you, erase from your mind. I told him to stay out of my life and to never come back. If he does, I will be the one to deal with him. Am I still grieving? Of course I am. I know I put you through a lot, but I promise to get a handle on it. You were right. Just because I knew the inevitable was going to happen, one can never be prepared for it. I loved my mother dearly but lost her way before a few weeks ago. You have been my rock, and I am so grateful for your patience and understanding. I know I have not been the easiest to deal with, but I never knew it would hurt this much.”

  “Oh, Carter, I will always be here for you, no matter what. I fully intend to keep my promise, always.”

  “Forever. Now, call your fancy planner. We don’t have to go far to marry. We can have a small ceremony down on the beach, or any place you wish.”

  “Do you still want to sell your house?” I asked.

  “I’m not sure. I want to take some time to think it over. Is that okay?”

  “Of course, it’s your home, babe. The decision should be yours.”

  “Yeah, but you love it, and I know how much you want to live there,” he said.

  “Let’s just take one day at a time, and no decisions have to be made today.”

  “Thank you, Thea. I do love the beach house. It has more good memories than sad ones. My mother would want me to move on, live my life to the fullest, and be happy with the woman I love.”

  “Okay, then it’s settled. I want us to marry there and add our wedding to the happy memories. I think your mom would have liked that.”

  “Yes, she would have,” he smiled.

  “I already have a message to Rosalyn, and I will call her again tomorrow. For today, let’s just take a time-out for you and me, okay?”

  “Sounds perfect. I love our bubble,” he said.

  “Me too.”

  “Baby, you need to breathe for me. Karen, did you hear what I said?”

  It was if she was in a trance or had completely gone catatonic on me. I put my arm around her shoulder and led her over to a nearby chair.

  “Karen?” I softly said her name again.

  She blinked and then shoved me away.

  “Yes, I heard you, Nick. I certainly do not need to hear it again. Every safe measure you have in place still did not keep him away from my daughter.”

  “Babe, listen…”

  “No more! I am done with playing this your way. I am going to protect my daughters from their father even if I have to take him on by myself. Fucking bastard! He just couldn’t allow me to get out from under his thumb? He taints everything I try to have with his ugliness, and now he wants my girls. He can’t have them, Nick. I won’t let him.”

  “We won’t let him. Karen, please baby, you need to trust me. Alex getting to Gigi was a huge mistake on the administrative staff at her school, a mistake that will not be repeated. I know you are scared. I am too, but we will get through this.”

  “How? The Chicago PD cannot locate Alex, so what makes you believe you can?”

  “Okay, you have me there, but you are forgetting one very important detail, and that’s Gigi. We have to talk with her, and it has to happen tonight. We need to know every last detail of their conversation, and hopefully she can remember something to help us.”

  “Nick, she’s eight years old.”

  “A very smart and savvy eight-year-old, the same eight-year-old who once told me to take a hike.”

  She said, “Yeah, I remember that night. I am so happy you didn’t.”

  “Me too. Let’s get out of here. We can grab some lunch and then go pick up the girls.”

  “What about work? Don’t you have to get back?”

  “Not today. I have Tony covering for me, and I am waiting on a call back from my boss. I can’t concentrate on anything until we find Alex. I’m going to step down as Chief until this is over.”

  “No! I won’t allow you to do that. Yo
u have worked too hard to just walk away now. This is my problem, and I will handle it.”

  “You see, Karen, that doesn’t work for me, and it will never work for us as a couple.”

  “What won’t work?”

  “You. The ‘Me, Myself, and I’ way of life is over. We are together now, and you no longer have to take the world on all by yourself. This is not me taking away your fierce independence. This is me loving and protecting you.”

  “Okay, Nick, protect me. This is still very new, and I’m learning as I go.”

  I said, “Right there with you, but we will learn together, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  The more I held her in my arms, the more she began to relax. I wasn’t going to allow anything to happen to Karen or the girls. She didn’t have much of an appetite after all we discussed, but with my smooth powers of persuasion, she ate a sandwich. We still had time before we had to go to pick up the girls, and then that’s when I had an idea.

  I drove us to the station and looked back several times to make sure no one was following. My truck was huge and well-known around the neighborhood, and that’s when it hit me. If Alex was keeping close tabs on the girls, then he knew their schedules too. They hadn’t been taking the school bus since my attack, and now that I was recovered, it was either me or Karen driving them to school.

  “Nick, are you okay? You have been really quiet,” she asked.

  “Just thinking, babe. Listen, I have an idea, and it’s a long shot, but I’m willing to try.”

  “Okay, what’s on your mind?”

  “You are going to take my truck to go pick up the girls,” I suggested.

  “Are you seriously going to allow me to drive your truck? You don’t let anyone do that.”

  “Yeah, well, you are the exception. I love you.”

  “God, I love you too,” she said.

  After she kissed me madly, I told her what I wanted to do. If I was right about Alex, and I believed I was, then he would be watching today. He just wouldn’t know that I would be too.