Death's Door

by E. A. Copen

  I nodded. “Yeah, I know. I did a lot of wrong. I wanted more time to make up for all that, but even if you gave it to me, I wouldn’t know how. My past is so full of anger and misery. I’ve been scared to death of passing all that on to Remy, scared it’d hurt Emma or the other people around me. I’m just tired of being alone. Tired of hurting the people I care about. I don’t know how to stop it.”

  “Sweetheart...” The Being lifted my chin and smiled at me. “The answer you been looking for? It’s love. That’s what makes the world go ’round, baby. And I should know. I designed it that way.”

  I swallowed as she took her hand away. “No offense, but the world kind of sucks right now. Every day I get up, and something bad happens. I fail at something or make someone mad at me. I can’t do anything right. How am I supposed to love if I can’t even keep my act together?”

  She crossed her arms. “Maybe the world sucks today, and maybe it’ll suck tomorrow too. But if you get off your behind and love someone today, it’ll suck just a little less. Small things make a big difference, Lazarus. Read a book to your kid. Buy a stranger coffee. Stand up to a bully. Tell someone you’re proud of them. Change the world one heart at a time, one day at a time. I don’t mean to say it’s going to be puppies and rainbows from here on out. Lovin’ people is hard work. Sometimes, it hurts. Sometimes, you screw up. There’ll be times you walk in darkness so deep, you can’t remember what the light feels like. When that happens, you got to keep on walkin’, sweetheart. Standin’ still won’t change nothin’. Feelin’ sorry for yourself? What’s that got you but more pain and suffering? But love somebody else, and let ’em love you back, and you’ve got more joy and light than you know what to do with. That’s the way forward, baby, and I said it from the start. Love your neighbor as you love yourself, there is no greater commandment.”

  “So, are you going to send me back?”

  She smiled. “Why don’t you just drink your tea for now and we’ll see what happens after that?”

  With nothing else left to do, I decided to follow the Being’s advice. I picked up the tea and blew away a layer of steam before taking a sip. I’m not usually much of a tea drinker, but that tea was good. It warmed me inside and out so that I couldn’t help but smile.

  “Oh, I almost forgot!” The Being snapped her fingers and tossed me the glass twenty-sided die.

  I caught it and lowered my hand to look at it. The twenty side was up, numbers glowing a brilliant blue. Color faded from the twenty side as I watched. It turned black and dead while all the rest stayed lit up.

  “You only get one natural twenty, by the way.” The Being winked at me. “Try not to waste the other nineteen.”

  She clapped her hands, and suddenly I stood back in She’ol surrounded by blue flame. My face didn’t hurt anymore, and all the blood seemed to have burned away from my skin. I was whole again.

  Fire touched my cheek. The same familiar presence of the Being flooded me before it retreated, along with the fire back inside the die. The cage flickered and died.

  I walked over and picked up the die in silence. Just like before, the light faded from the twenty side, and it turned black.

  “What the fuck was that?” Josiah dropped to his knees next to the broken throne.

  “I don’t know,” I said, rolling the die between my finger and thumb, “but I think we just killed the Devil.”

  Nikki, who had rolled out of the way of the cage to lay against a wall, groaned. Her hand went to her face, and she winced in pain. “Darius?”

  I let out a relieved sigh. She was back. Morningstar was gone. “We’re clear.”

  Josiah grunted and lit a cigarette. He was bleeding from a gash on his head, and his clothes were torn. There was blood on his shirt too, but it was hard to tell what that was from. When I asked him if he was good, he nodded. “So, when’d you figure me out?”

  When did I figure out what he was, he meant.

  I grinned. “Give me some credit. I’ve read a couple books. I’m not a total fuckwit.”

  He chuckled and gestured past me. “Go get your woman, mate.”

  I turned around. Emma’s soul stood just a few feet away. Seeing her again left my throat tight, my heart pounding, and my head full of doubt. What if this didn’t work? What if Loki had messed with her body? What if things were different after this and she didn’t want anything to do with me?

  Emma stepped forward, rubbing her shoulders. “You know, normally I’d object to being rescued, but just this once, I think I can make an exception.”

  I extended a hand to her. “You’re on your own after this. No more freebies.”

  She took my hand with a smile. “Next time, it’ll be my turn to save you, I guess.”

  “I don’t want there to be any more next times, Emma. For either of us.”

  Her eyes teared up. Rather than let me see her cry again, she stepped into an embrace. I held her for a long minute, watching Hell burn around us and thought to myself maybe I’d finally done something right.

  JOSIAH CARRIED NIKKI’S body through the portal while I brought Emma’s soul. She was little more than a weaving and wobbling ball of silver light back on Earth, but I could still feel her presence as I held onto her.

  I stood next to her body in the glass coffin, realizing that once I let her soul go, if her body didn’t revive, she’d be gone forever. There was a chance this wouldn’t work. I’d have to use a modified version of the Kiss of Life to bring her back, and I’d already used the Kiss once with her. Everything I knew about magic said necromancers couldn’t do it twice with the same person. Then again, I wasn’t just a necromancer anymore, and I’d bent the rules of magic more than once in the last twenty-four hours.

  Loki crossed his arms behind me. “Well? You got what you wanted. What are you waiting for?”

  I closed my eyes and let go of her soul. It drifted downward like a falling flower petal. It hovered over her body for just a moment before sinking into it. So far, so good. Now for the hard part.

  I knelt next to the coffin and lifted her upper body from it, expecting her to be cold and rigid. Instead, she was slightly warmer than the air around us and limp as if she were sleeping. That’d be the work of Loki’s spell. He said he’d prevent any permanent damage. Guess he’d kept his word.

  Please work. I brushed some hair away from her face, tilted her head back, and summoned my power.

  The world flashed white as if I were back in the room with the Being before coming further into focus than ever before. The wind stopped blowing. Birds fell silent. Colors brightened into painful intensity. The spirit of every bird, bug, and person in the immediate area called out to me in a language without words.

  Slowly, I drew in a shaky breath and infused it with my magic before breathing it out. In a white fog, the magic trickled between Emma’s lips and a light deep inside her sparked once before fading.

  Come on, Emma. Come back.

  I drew in another breath and tried again, watching the spark light, flicker, and die. The more magic I pushed into her, the more it cost me. That spell was powered by trading my life for hers in a literal sense, and if I gave too much, I could shrivel to nothing. But I wasn’t ready to give up. Not yet.

  I breathed into her a third time.

  The light in her chest glowed bright, strobing once—no, twice! It was working!

  I blinked and cut off the power as Emma’s eyes snapped open and she gasped in a breath.

  Everyone around us cheered.

  I smiled and held back tears of joy. “Welcome back, Emma.”

  She offered me a tired smile. “Well? You going to kiss me or what?”

  “I don’t mind if I do.”

  So, I did. I kissed her for real this time, and let’s just say it was worth however many years it cost me to bring her back.

  TWO DAYS LATER, THEY discharged Pony from the hospital, and I went to pick him up.

  When he saw I’d come in Josiah’s rental with Mike, he hesitated and frowne
d up at me. “What’s this?”

  I opened the rear passenger door for him. “We need to talk.”

  With a little help, Pony got up out of the wheelchair and slid into the back. I closed the door for him and got in the front. With a nod, I let Mike know it was okay to drive away.

  Pony cleared his throat. “So, did you get your girlfriend back in one piece? I was expectin’ you to call me or come visit, but never heard a thing.”

  “She’s back.” I put an arm on the door and leaned against it.

  The silence stretched on until eventually Pony couldn’t stand it. He stuck his head forward between the seats to try and catch my attention. “You want to tell me why we’re going west on Highway Ten and not takin’ Ninety across the river?”

  “Because we’re not going to Algiers, Pony,” I answered without looking at him.

  “Where we goin’ then?”

  “To the airport. I bought you a one-way ticket to Tulsa.” I finally turned away from the window to watch his eyes get big.

  “Tulsa?” He sputtered. “Why in the hell would I go there? Ain’t nothing for me there! Why, I—” He broke off when he met my hard stare.

  Despite the expression on my face, I was breaking inside. This man had taken me in when I had nowhere to go. He’d fed me, clothed me, brought me up to be a halfway-decent human being. For all his faults, being a bad person wasn’t one of them. He’d just made a terrible decision in a time of stress, one I couldn’t forgive him for.

  “I know about Lydia.” My voice sounded calmer than I was. “I know it was you. Go ahead and tell me it wasn’t.”

  He slid back into his seat and slumped against it. “I never meant for it to be her.”

  “But you knew it had to be someone, didn’t you? You knew the cost, yet you did it anyway. You used your power to murder someone for your own gain, Pony. That’s worse than black magic. That’s evil.”

  He closed his eyes. “I know. I don’t have no excuse. I was just so afraid to die. I wanted to tell you. That day you asked me for the ride to the hospital, do you remember? I almost did. But you was in such a hurry, I never got the chance. And then you got arrested. It was all because of me. My fear. I can’t make it right.” He raised his eyes tentatively to meet mine in the mirror. “You want to kill me. It’s written all over your face. You do, don’t you?”

  I didn’t answer. As pissed off as I was, speaking wasn’t wise. I might just tell Mike to pull the car over.

  “Then do it.” Pony sat up straight. “You’ve earned your vengeance. I’m on my way out anyway. I’d rather you do it than the cancer. You’ll be quicker.”

  I drew a hand over my face and tried to find the strength to answer him. “I’m not going to kill you Pony. You’re going to live for as long as you can.” I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out the handful of folded pamphlets on cancer care, offering them to him. “There’s a big cancer treatment center in Tulsa. I called ahead and got things set up for you. They’ll see you next week. Until then, you’ve got two grand to blow. I suggest you find yourself a hotel room or something. I’d offer you more, but that much is on loan from Emma.”

  Pony took the pamphlets with shaky hands. “I don’t understand. That’s more than I deserve, Laz, especially after all the wrong I did you after you got out. I should’ve helped you more. Why you helpin’ me? You ought to be holdin’ a grudge after all that.”

  I fixed my gaze out the window and watched the city roll by. “Because I understand. I don’t condone what you did, but I understand your fear. I can’t forgive you for killing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still appreciate all you’ve done. Guess you could say I’ve learned to let some things go and focus on what’s important.”

  He didn’t say anything for the rest of the drive, choosing instead to flip through the treatment brochures.

  Josiah and Khaleda met us at the airport with a wheelchair for Pony. They’d agreed to accompany him as far as Tulsa just to make sure he got there. I pulled the bag I’d packed for Pony out of the back of the car and walked it to the curb. Pony sat in his wheelchair, a sunken, shriveled version of himself. He didn’t look like a man capable of murdering a child, but then you never really know a person, do you?

  I extended a hand to Josiah. “Thanks for all your help.”

  He flicked his cigarette into the street before taking my hand and giving it a good shake. “Thanks for the adventure, mate. But maybe don’t call me for the next one, yeah? I think I’m going to have my hands full enough as it is.” He gestured to Khaleda with his head.

  I nodded. “How is she?”

  “She is right here.” Khaleda crossed her arms. “I’m perfectly capable of answering myself. And I’m fine. Or I think I will be.”

  “Sorry you didn’t get to help kill your dad.”

  She smiled. “Yeah. I’d say you owe me for that one, but I think bringing me back from Hell made us even.” Khaleda grabbed the handles of Pony’s wheelchair. “Take care of yourself, Lazarus. You’ll have a lot of eyes on you now.”

  “Same to you, Khaleda. Say, what are your plans now that you’re a free woman?”

  “I don’t know.” She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe I’ll go see the world. I’ve never seen it snow in New York and they’re calling for an early blizzard next week.” She patted Pony’s shoulder. “Come on, old man. Let’s go check you in.”

  I frowned. “That was weird. She was almost personable.”

  Josiah watched her go, a strange look on his face. “She’ll be all right. Just needs a little time is all.”

  “So now that Morningstar is dead, who’s going to run Hell?”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know. Lots of contenders. Several powerful demons will want to job, I expect. Maybe some other gods. Could be Khaleda decides she wants it after a walkabout. Probably be a war to figure things out. I’d stay clear if I was you. Not that you will. Just what I’d do.”

  I nodded. Killing gods was one thing, but I didn’t want to have to fight demons ever again. Not if I could help it. “I’ll try.”

  “You take care of that woman of yours. It’s not every day you meet a girl strong enough to withstand the tortures of Hell.”

  “You too, buddy.” I patted him on the shoulder.

  He frowned at my hand until I retracted it and stepped back.

  Josiah slung his bag over his shoulder and walked through the airport doors.

  I slid back into the rental car with Mike, who asked, “Where to next?”

  “There’s a little spot on the river. I’m supposed to meet Emma there in thirty minutes. Think we can make it?”

  Mike grinned. “Strap in.”

  TRUE TO MIKE’S WORD, he got me to the river in under thirty minutes and dropped me off near the port. I walked the rest of the way, pulling my jacket closer. It was a cool night, but not too cold for November in New Orleans. Dusk had settled in over the dark water in shades of pink and blue. Thin clouds brushed against the dying light like waves in the sky.

  On the waterfront, there was a place where you could stand and see both bridges stretch across the Mississippi, forming the Crescent City Connection. Steamboats rocked in place, anchored for the night and the decorative sidewalks stood empty. Tourists had gone back to their hotels for the evening or found a place to eat. Streetlamps flickered to life, creating pools of light in the darkness.

  It was under one such streetlamp that I found Emma, sitting on a bench with Remy’s stroller in front of her. She’d lost some weight since everything began. It’d made her face look thinner, paler, her features slightly more drawn. The dark, swollen circles under her eyes told me she hadn’t been sleeping well either. Of course, I’d been crashing in her living room with Remy because I didn’t want to go back to Pony’s, not knowing what I knew now. Eventually, that would have to change, but for now, I was happy just to be close to her and that she was safe. Having a three-month-old baby move in, however—even temporarily—had to be rough on her sleep.

  She saw me
coming, and her face lit up with a smile. “Hey! I thought I had the wrong spot for a minute.”

  “No, this is it.”

  Emma got up, and I stole a quick kiss, leaning in just a little bit to make sure she was still real. It’d been two days. I must’ve kissed her half a dozen times now and it still never felt like enough. I’d missed my first chance. No way was I letting that happen again.

  She laughed and pushed me back. “Easy, Romeo. We still haven’t had a proper first date.”

  “Sure we have. What about Shel?”

  “That doesn’t count.” Emma gave my arm a weak punch. “I mean a real one. You promised me back at the tournament.” She wasn’t going to let me forget it either. Emma laced her arm in mine and walked me to the railing overlooking the river, pulling Remy’s stroller along. “I want the whole thing. Roses, candy, fancy dinner. The works.”

  I sighed. “You do know I’m broke, right? Hiring Josiah cost me a fortune.”

  “Well if I’ve got to pay for it, you’re wearing the dress.”

  “Does a kilt count as a dress?”

  She laughed. God, I’d never get tired of hearing that. “Don’t try to get out of it. You owe me after letting those criminals into my house.”

  She hadn’t been happy to hear I’d had Darius house sitting her place, but it was easier to smooth things over once she saw the roses. Apparently, Darius’ guy had a green thumb and they looked better than ever. She still had me change all the locks and put up some wards though, just in case.

  Darius, for his part, was happy to have his sister back. Nikki claimed not to remember her time in Hell, or the tournament, which I guessed was a good thing. Once Beth healed Nikki’s face, there was no evidence at all anything had ever happened to her. When I brought her back to Darius, the two launched into an argument almost immediately. Siblings. Can’t live with ‘em, but it hurts to live without them.

  I wanted to kiss Emma again, but Remy started fussing so I went and got her out of the stroller, lifting her up so she could see the river. There was something magical about the river at sunset when no one else was around. It felt like I could breathe there. Always had.