Reckless (Pier 70, 1)

by Nicole Edwards

  He feared that once he was home, he wouldn’t be as strong.

  If only he could harden his heart, forget about Cam, forget about the amazing four weeks they’d shared. Sure, there had been ups and downs, but that was expected. It had been emotional on so many levels. Unfortunately, Gannon was too invested at this point, and the breakup was brutal. He feared he would suffer for a long time to come.

  Thankfully, he’d had Milly around to keep his mind off things, even if she’d been acting strange. He was never bored with her around, and since she’d known he was devastated, she’d doubled her efforts to keep him in a good mood. Over the years, he’d learned to fake it, and this trip had been no different. The last thing Gannon would do was let people know he’d been hurt. It was easier to pretend he wasn’t human than to cut himself open and bleed for people.

  But now he had eighteen hours to prepare himself for the inevitable.

  Only he wasn’t sure that was enough time.

  Eighteen hours later—Friday morning

  The ding of the seat belt warning had Gannon looking up. A second later, the flight attendant’s voice came over the speaker, announcing they were preparing to land.

  Finally.

  Gannon was back in Texas—technically, although still thirty thousand feet in the air. According to the disembodied voice, they were preparing to land in the next half hour, and he couldn’t wait. He was antsy and fidgety, something that was completely foreign to him. He’d spent the better part of the flight from Hong Kong to Dallas taking care of business, sending emails to get everything set up for the new operations director he’d hired while in Singapore, but now that he was almost home, he couldn’t focus long enough to do anything more.

  From the moment he’d stepped onto the plane in Austin eight days ago, preparing to go overseas, he’d been plagued by thoughts of Cam, trying to figure out how things had gone so very wrong. Not a minute went by when he hadn’t wished he was back in Texas so he could… He didn’t even know what he’d wanted to do. It wasn’t as though he could simply walk up to Cam and insist that the man love him back.

  Unfortunately, it didn’t work that way.

  Gannon knew that Cam didn’t like the fact that he traveled, and he knew why. Hell, he even understood why. He sympathized with Cam, understood how Cam felt, how tragic it was that his mother had died while she’d been away on a business trip, but surely other people in Cam’s life had traveled since then. The fact that they continued to come back should’ve reassured him, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

  But in the same sense, Cam knew what had happened to Gannon, yet he’d had no issues kicking him to the curb. Not once during the entire trip had he heard from Cam. Not one single time. Then again, he hadn’t tried to reach out, either. The thirteen-hour time difference had helped in that regard, making it so that they weren’t even awake at the same time.

  So, instead of reaching out, Gannon had done a lot of thinking. Mainly about the night that had changed Gannon’s life forever. The night they’d made love and Gannon had gone and ruined it by reminding Cam he was flying to Singapore. Not that he could’ve done it differently. It would’ve been wrong of him to simply disappear for a week.

  Then again, maybe that would’ve been better than having Cam break up with him.

  Although Gannon had forced himself to walk away, his stomach churning with every step, he’d since realized that giving up on Cam wasn’t an option. He couldn’t simply walk out of Cam’s life and never look back. He loved him.

  So he’d made a promise to himself that once he got back, he would confront Cam, get to the root of the matter, and figure out a way to make it work between them. There was no doubt in Gannon’s mind that Cam was trying to protect himself emotionally. They’d ventured to that next level, and when they were having sex, Cam was more open than Gannon had ever seen him. It was amazing.

  But this rift between them… There had to be a way to fix it. It was the only option.

  He needed to talk to Cam, settle his fears, assure him that he would be fine. Then again, Gannon wasn’t sure he could promise that. And he’d never made a promise he couldn’t keep.

  Being that he was used to being in control, running a multimillion-dollar company, taking risks regarding innovation and design in an industry that was consistently evolving and changing, never sitting still, Gannon had a hard time not being able to predict the future. However, where his company was concerned, Gannon had people in place who managed those things, gave him reports, anticipated problems, identified areas of improvement. There was some semblance of control there.

  Where his relationship with Cam was concerned, Gannon felt so out of control. To the point it scared the hell out of him most of the time.

  Gripping the armrests, Gannon closed his eyes as the plane made its descent into ABIA. He thought about Cam, about seeing his face for the first time in a week.

  And he realized that everything that would happen going forward was outside of his control, hard as that was to grasp. Now, as he was used to doing with his business, he merely needed to figure out how to acclimate.

  Cam was so fucking nervous.

  No, nervous was an understatement. More like terrified.

  Standing near the baggage claim area at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport, he wiped his hands on his shorts for the millionth time. His palms were sweaty, his heart beating as though he’d just jumped out of an airplane and his parachute wasn’t opening. He’d done a lot of reckless things in his life, crazy things, but this…

  By far the craziest risk he’d ever taken.

  His phone vibrated in his pocket and Cam jumped.

  Shit, at this rate, the TSA was going to sit him down and have a chat, thinking he was up to no good.

  We’re about to deplane.

  Cam’s fingers shook too much to type a response to Milly, so he didn’t bother. He didn’t know what to say, anyway.

  Her instructions had been for him to man up, to do something to salvage what he and Gannon had. For a solid week, Cam had endured endless texts from her, dozens of pictures of Gannon sent to his phone, all because Milly wanted to reassure him that Gannon was okay.

  It might’ve helped.

  That didn’t mean he hadn’t spent the week panicked, scared that something bad would happen and he wouldn’t get any more texts or pictures. He’d started to look forward to them, eagerly anticipating every update until he knew he was a basket case, staring at his phone all the time, willing another text message to come in.

  But Milly had come through, just as she’d said she would, and now it was Cam’s turn to come through for her. For Gannon.

  Coming down the escalators.

  Reading the text, Cam’s heart punched hard against his ribs as he looked up from his phone, peering past the huge guitar that sat atop one of the baggage carousels toward the escalators.

  Sure enough…

  Cam’s breath lodged in his throat when he caught a glimpse of Gannon, who was looking over his shoulder at Milly. She seemed to be chatting endlessly, keeping Gannon’s attention as they stepped off the escalator, walking side by side until they were only a few feet from him.

  Milly stopped and Gannon did, too. Then she nodded toward Cam.

  When Gannon looked up in Cam’s direction, Cam stood motionless, watching as that beautiful face realized he was standing there.

  “Cam.”

  Swallowing hard, he choked out, “Hey.”

  “What are…?” Gannon’s head swiveled to look at Milly.

  “Gotta run,” she said cheerfully, offering Gannon a small wave.

  “Wait, what about…?” Gannon’s eyes landed on Cam again, then back to Milly, still looking dazed and confused.

  “My stepbrother’s picking me up,” Milly said, smiling as she headed toward the baggage carousel. “You two have fun.”

  Cam never took his eyes off Gannon, fear and trepidation forming a toxic cocktail in his gut as he waited to see if Gannon would send
him away.

  “What are you doing here?” Gannon blinked once, as though he didn’t believe Cam was standing there.

  “I heard you needed a ride home.”

  Gannon’s head snapped over to the baggage area, then back to him. “You’re the one she’s been texting?”

  Cam nodded, the dizzy feeling making him sway slightly. He planted his feet firmly on the floor, shored his nerves. He could do this. “Can I take you home?”

  “I… I don’t… Yeah,” Gannon said with a sigh. “I’d like that.”

  Cam exhaled, realizing he’d been holding his breath. Which explained why he was light-headed.

  “Got any bags?”

  Gannon nodded.

  Scared to reach for him, Cam nodded toward the carousel, then started walking, hoping Gannon would follow.

  He did.

  A few minutes later, they’d retrieved the one suitcase Gannon had. Cam wheeled it toward the door, where a man in a suit was standing.

  “Are you ready, sir?” he asked Cam.

  “Yes. Thanks.”

  The guy took Gannon’s suitcase, and Cam felt Gannon’s eyes on him as they walked out the door toward the limousine waiting for them.

  Cam had thought about bringing his truck, but this seemed the more logical way to travel. With someone else driving, it would give Cam a chance to talk to Gannon, to explain. To apologize.

  After confirming for the man where they were going while he placed Gannon’s luggage in the trunk, Cam opened the door for Gannon, then climbed in after him. The window between the front and the back was closed, exactly as Cam had requested.

  “I don’t understand what’s—”

  Before Gannon could say more, Cam reached for him, cupping his head and pulling him forward so that Cam could kiss him.

  And kiss him he did.

  He knew he had a lot of explaining and apologizing to do, but he needed this right now. Kissing Gannon, feeling that electrical charge ignite between them, it calmed Cam’s rioting nerves.

  Kind of.

  “Cam. Oh, God, Cam.”

  Cam wrapped his arms tightly around Gannon, holding him close as he thrust his tongue into Gannon’s mouth, feeling the moment Gannon gave in, his body molding to Cam’s. A sweet assault ensued, and for a while, Cam forgot where they were. The only thing that mattered was Gannon’s lips on his, his hands roaming over Cam’s back.

  “I missed you,” Cam whispered, cupping Gannon’s head, separating their mouths. “So fucking much.”

  Gannon’s eyes appeared glassy, but Cam wasn’t sure if that was lust or some other emotion.

  As much as Cam wanted to heat the car up for the entire ride to Gannon’s, he knew they needed to talk first. The sex … yeah, Cam had missed that too, but more than that, he’d missed Gannon, and until he could assure himself that they could move forward—permanently this time—that Gannon could forgive him for being a royal ass, he had to put a halt to this.

  Taking Gannon’s hand in his, he took a deep breath.

  And before he could say anything more, the driver alerted them that they’d arrived at their destination.

  Damn. That was fast.

  Thirty

  Gannon was pretty sure he was dreaming. There was no way this could be real. Life simply hadn’t been that good to him, so for Cam to show up out of the blue … it was surreal. The only thing that made him believe it could be real … in his dreams, Cam didn’t kiss like that. Sure, it was good, but nothing compared to the real thing.

  “Sirs, we’ve arrived,” came the disembodied voice from a speaker behind them.

  Unable to look away from Cam, Gannon remained where he was, fingers linked with Cam’s, still trying to convince his overtaxed brain that this was really happening, that Cam was really there.

  That Cam had actually come to the airport to pick him up.

  That Cam had made the first move to fix this.

  Please, God, let it be real.

  The back door opened, sunlight spilling in, and Gannon managed to regain some of his faculties. Releasing Cam’s hand, he grabbed his carry-on, then forced his legs to move. Outside the limo, he walked around to the back in time to see Cam passing the man a tip and taking Gannon’s luggage. That was when Gannon noticed Cam’s truck parked in his driveway.

  Surely he wasn’t dreaming that, right?

  “Come on,” Cam urged. “I’ll make us some lunch and we can talk.”

  “You’ll make lunch?” The words were out before Gannon could stop them.

  Cam’s lips curled up at the corner, reigniting that spark in Gannon’s stomach. “Nothing fancy. I picked up a couple of cans of SpaghettiOs on my way over.”

  Gannon laughed, relaxing for the first time since he’d seen Cam standing in the airport waiting for him.

  Once they made it inside and Gannon dumped his luggage in his bedroom, he returned to the kitchen to find Cam peering into the freezer.

  Cam glanced over at him. “I’m disappointed in you, Gannon. I thought for sure you’d been lying about not cooking frozen meals.”

  Gannon unbuttoned his cuffs, then rolled up his sleeves as he stared at Cam, not sure what to say to that.

  “But don’t worry,” Cam continued. “I’ll find something.”

  Before Cam could open the refrigerator and resume his search, Gannon moved closer until there wasn’t a breath between them. Cam’s hard chest pressed against his own, his body heat infusing Gannon.

  “I don’t want food,” Gannon whispered, reaching up and cupping the back of Cam’s neck. Cam was tense; he could feel the tight muscles beneath his fingers.

  “I need to apologize,” Cam said quickly, his hands fisting into Gannon’s shirt, as though he were holding on for dear life. “What I did… I was … wrong. It’s just…”

  “You were scared,” Gannon filled in for him.

  “Petrified.”

  “I know the feeling.” Gannon brushed his thumb along Cam’s cheek. “And I’m not talking about what you’ve been through. I won’t pretend to know how that feels, but I do understand the fear, the pain.”

  Hell, he’d endured the pain of losing the most important thing in his life for a solid week. It was a wonder he was still standing, still capable of breathing when there’d been moments he’d felt as though his chest had been filled with jagged shards of glass. The pain unbearable. Truth was, he’d never thought he’d see Cam again, never believed he’d feel the overwhelming surge of emotion that filled his soul right now as he stared at the man he loved.

  “I thought by pushing you away… It seemed an easier decision than having you taken from me.”

  Gannon met Cam’s gaze. “You won’t lose me, Cam. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

  “I wish it were that simple,” Cam said, placing his hand on Gannon’s mouth before he could argue. “Regardless, while you were gone, I realized something.”

  Gannon waited patiently for Cam to continue, his heart pounding in his chest.

  “It dawned on me that either way, whether I broke up with you or … you know … I wouldn’t have you in my life. And only in one of those scenarios do I actually have control.”

  Control. Something Gannon felt he had so little of when it came to Cam.

  “The past week was brutal,” Gannon admitted.

  “I know.” Cam took a deep breath. “Milly kept me afloat the entire time.”

  Gannon wasn’t as shocked by that as he should’ve been. He knew she’d been up to something, and he should’ve suspected she would stick her cute little nose in the middle of his business. She was his friend, she cared about him, and he loved her for it. Even if she had been meddling.

  Cam smiled. “She loves you.”

  “I know. I love her, too. And that’s what friends do.”

  There was a strange flicker in the cobalt-blue orbs staring back at him, but Gannon didn’t get a chance to ask before Cam’s eyes widened and he said, “I’m sorry that I hurt you. It’s just…”

&nb
sp; “You’re safe with me,” Gannon whispered, tightening his grip on Cam’s neck. “Those are the words you told me that day when I went into the water after you. Remember?”

  Cam nodded.

  “I don’t like water. No, actually, I detest it,” Gannon told Cam. “Not because of a traumatic experience. I just don’t like it. But when you told me to trust you, I did. And when we made love…” Gannon watched Cam’s face. “When you asked me if I trusted you, I wasn’t lying when I said I did. I still do. But I need you to trust me.”

  “It’s not about trust,” Cam said. “I do trust you. It’s the fear…”

  “Of losing me?”

  Again, Cam nodded.

  “Maybe this didn’t go as slow as we’d planned, or maybe it did. I don’t know. Regardless, I fell in love with you somewhere along the way. It wasn’t until you sent me away that I realized I couldn’t control everything; I couldn’t predict the future. But that’s okay. As long as I have you, I don’t need to know what tomorrow will bring. I just need you beside me.”

  Cam pulled Gannon forward. “You really love me? I mean … I know you said it that day … but…”

  “Yes. I love you. With every breath I take,” Gannon whispered.

  “I love you, too. And that’s not easy for me to say.”

  “Trust me, I know.” Aside from Milly, Gannon hadn’t loved anyone else since his parents had so selfishly tossed him aside years ago. He’d been scared to love anyone, for fear of being rejected.

  Cam wrapped his arms around Gannon’s back, pulling him even closer. “I can’t promise it’ll be easy. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a little fucked up.”

  “Aren’t we all,” Gannon teased.

  Cam smiled, his eyes raking over Gannon’s face. “Tell me you forgive me.”

  “That’s part of loving someone, Cam. You accept them for who they are, faults and all. And you forgive them.”

  They stood like that for several heartbeats, holding one another. And every second that passed, Gannon felt as though his heart was mending, the jagged edges not quite so sharp.

  “God, I missed you,” Cam muttered just before he slid his hands behind Gannon’s head, pulling him down.