Reckless (Pier 70, 1)

by Nicole Edwards

  Cam met Roan’s eyes, confused by the antagonizing tone. Frowning, he tried to figure out if Roan wanted that to be the case, for Cam not to be able to deal with Gannon traveling. “Why would you ask that?”

  Roan shrugged. “It just seems like he doesn’t care that it bothers you.”

  “It’s his job,” Cam countered.

  “Yeah? And his job’s more important than you are?” Roan rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t sound like a stable relationship to me.”

  Cam took a deep breath, trying to contain the anger that threatened to erupt. Before he could say anything, Roan spoke again.

  “Look, I’m sorry.” Roan’s tone had softened, his eyes pleading.

  Cam took a step back, baffled by Roan’s complete one-eighty. One second he’d been provoking Cam, the next he was apologizing.

  None of it made sense. His best friend was acting really strange.

  “Cam…”

  The hair on the back of his neck stood up in warning. That tone of voice… He’d never heard Roan talk like that, and if he wasn’t mistaken…

  “I need to tell you something.”

  Cam lifted an eyebrow, forced himself to stand in place when Roan took another step closer.

  “Ever since you and Gannon started goin’ out…”

  Cam waited, not breathing. Praying that Dare wasn’t right. That Roan wasn’t going to say something now that could alter their friendship forever.

  “It’s been hard for me.”

  “What?” Cam asked, confused. “What’s been hard for you?”

  When Roan’s eyes dropped to Cam’s mouth, it all became very, very clear. The uncomfortable silence thickened, making it impossible to breathe. His best friend could not possibly be saying…

  “I’m in love with you.”

  Someone cleared their throat, and Cam’s head snapped over to see Gannon standing in the doorway, his eyes wide as he stared between Cam and Roan.

  Holy fuck. Had he heard Roan’s admission?

  Roan took a step back instantly and Cam did, too. It was as though they’d been busted doing something they shouldn’t have been doing. And the heartbreaking look on Gannon’s face made Cam’s stomach churn.

  “Sorry,” Gannon said softly as he turned to walk away. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “No, wait,” Cam called after him, starting toward the door to follow. He would’ve given chase except Roan grabbed his arm.

  “Cam. Don’t leave me hangin’ here.”

  Cam stared at Roan. “I… I don’t…” Glancing at the door, Cam realized he needed to go after Gannon. He had to settle that first, then he could talk to Roan.

  Maybe.

  “I have to talk to Gannon,” he blurted, pulling out of Roan’s grasp and lunging for the door, not bothering to look back at his friend.

  His best friend had just told him he was in love with him. How could that be? And if that was the case, why the fuck hadn’t Roan said something before now? Not that it would’ve made a damn bit of difference. Cam didn’t have those feelings for Roan. He never had. Sure, they were friends, and Cam would do anything for Roan, but there was no chemistry there. As far as Cam was concerned, Roan was like his brother.

  “Gannon, wait!” Cam called after him when he reached the pier, but Gannon seemed to pick up the pace.

  When Gannon practically broke into a jog across the parking lot, Cam took off after him, running full out. He didn’t stop until he nearly tackled Gannon against his car.

  “When’d you get here?” Cam asked, winded from the short run.

  Gannon’s eyes widened as he stared back at Cam, but he didn’t say anything.

  “I didn’t know you were coming,” he added.

  “Obviously.” Gannon’s eyes narrowed; the pain Cam saw there broke his heart all over again. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “You didn’t,” Cam told him, reaching out for Gannon’s hand, unable to help himself.

  But Gannon pulled back from him instantly.

  When he reached for the door handle, Cam put a hand out to stop him. “Don’t leave. We need to talk.”

  Gannon shook his head, not bothering to look at Cam.

  Cam tried to see the situation from Gannon’s point of view. He could understand why he was upset, but he definitely didn’t want Gannon to get the wrong impression. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”

  The hurt look on Gannon’s face disappeared, replaced by something Cam had never seen before.

  Anger.

  Disappointment.

  And the strange pinch in his chest made it hard to breathe.

  Just when he’d thought they were making progress. Working through their issues. It looked as though they’d only circled back to where they’d been before, back to when they’d been guarding themselves from one another, fearing the worst.

  Now, it looked as though that tension had the chance to escalate into something Cam wasn’t sure he could handle.

  There was no way he could let Gannon walk away from him now.

  Cam didn’t think he’d survive it again.

  Thirty-Four

  Gannon couldn’t feel his hands. Hell, he couldn’t feel anything at all. He was numb all over.

  From the moment he’d stepped inside that shed, seeing Roan and Cam standing so close, he’d had a hard time breathing. But when Roan had admitted to Cam that he was in love with him…

  Did this remind anyone of a movie? My Best Friend’s Wedding, maybe?

  Uggh!

  Gannon’s heart was breaking all over again. The fear he’d experienced throughout the day had eased somewhat after he’d talked to Dare in the office, but now … it was back full force, threatening to pull him under again. And now that he was standing face-to-face with Cam, he couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d seen.

  Was that why Cam was ignoring him? Had something happened with Roan today? Or had it been building for a while? The thought of Cam and Roan together… It made Gannon’s stomach lurch.

  “Is that why you haven’t answered your phone today?” Gannon asked bluntly, pointing in the direction they’d just come from.

  “What?” Cam frowned. “No. My… Shit. My phone’s in my apartment charging. The battery died this morning.”

  Well, that made sense. Sort of.

  “Please talk to me,” Cam said, his voice low, his hand coming to rest on Gannon’s arm. “Let’s go up to my apartment and talk.”

  “Not sure there’s anything to talk about,” Gannon rasped. He could hardly breathe. The pain was unbearable. Worse than that, it had felt like a sucker punch. So totally and completely unexpected…

  “There’s actually a lot to talk about.”

  Oh, shit. Gannon did not like the sound of that.

  Was Cam about to break up with him again?

  Gannon did not like this flip-flopping emotion. Love, fear, elation, fear. It was making him crazy. The two of them seemed to be riding a tidal wave. When one crested, another picked them up and carried them farther, only to crash once again.

  Gannon was trying to come up with a reason to leave, but he didn’t get the words out before Cam was stepping closer, erasing the distance between them completely. Cam’s warm hands came up to cup Gannon’s face, forcing him to look into those stormy blue eyes.

  “Don’t walk away, Gannon. Trust me, remember?”

  The edge in Cam’s tone reflected the same trepidation Gannon felt. As though he was letting Gannon know that if he did, they’d be finished. Part of him wanted to tell him to go to hell, to turn and get into his car, drive away, and never look back.

  But the other part of him loved this man.

  Loved.

  Him.

  And walking away again would likely break him.

  “Should you go talk to Roan?” Gannon asked, trying to calm himself enough that they could have a civil conversation.

  “I will. Later. He’s my friend, and I have to address the issue with him, but you’re more important.”
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  Did Cam mean right now? Or always?

  Gannon wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that. Since he couldn’t come up with a rebuttal, he simply nodded his head, allowing Cam to lead him away from his car, toward the stairs on the side of the building.

  With leaden feet, he followed Cam up, then down the hall and into Cam’s apartment. Once inside, with the door closed behind him, Gannon’s stomach did a strange, painful flip. He didn’t know what was about to happen, but he knew without a doubt that he was in love with this man. And the mere thought of losing him…

  Gannon wasn’t sure he’d be strong enough to handle that. Not again.

  Okay, so Roan didn’t feel the amount of relief he’d thought he would. When he’d admitted to Cam that he loved him … the words hadn’t felt right. He’d thought that getting it out in the open would clear the air, possibly help clear his head, but instead, he was only more confused now.

  Didn’t mean he wasn’t pissed. Cam had walked away from him.

  Roan stormed into the marina office in time to see Cam leading Gannon toward the stairs up to his apartment. He had an overwhelming urge to stop them, to force Cam to hear him out. Before he knew it, he was lunging for the door, but before he could skirt the counter, Dare was grabbing his arm, pulling him back.

  “No fucking way,” Dare snapped. “You’re not goin’ out there.”

  Roan spun around to face his friend. “Fuck you. Stay the hell outta my business.”

  Dare pointed toward the door, his eyes shooting fire. “That’s not your fucking business.”

  “The hell it ain’t.” Roan couldn’t let Cam turn his back. He needed Cam to understand how he felt, that he’d be the man who could make him happy.

  “Roan!” Dare yelled. “Get a grip, man.”

  “I need to talk to him,” Roan declared, peering out the door in time to see Gannon and Cam slip out of sight. “Need to explain.”

  “No,” Dare roared. “You don’t.”

  Turning to face Dare, Roan let his anger build.

  “Hit me if you want,” Dare told him. “But I’m not gonna sit back and let you fuck this up for him.”

  “Me? I didn’t fuck this up for anyone.”

  “He’s your best friend, bro. You’re not in love with him.”

  How the hell did Dare know? And who was he to say how Roan felt?

  “Cam’s happy, man. Seriously. Have you looked at him lately? Have you ever seen him that fucking happy?”

  “Happy? How the fuck is he happy when the man he’s dating runs off and leaves him?”

  “Gannon didn’t leave him. He went on a business trip.”

  “And you know how that hurts Cam. He can’t deal with that shit.”

  “Have you ever thought that he needs this? He needs someone who forces him out of his comfort zone?”

  Roan didn’t want to hear this. Jerking away from Dare, he stalked toward the back door.

  “Roan, I’m serious. You need to think this through. You want to lose Cam forever? Fuck this up for him and he’ll never forgive you.”

  Roan stopped walking but didn’t turn around. “You don’t know how I feel.”

  “I know that for the first time in years, things are changing around here, and that bothers you. Cam met this guy who makes him happy. He deserves to be happy.”

  “I can make him happy,” Roan snapped, even though he didn’t really believe that. Not anymore. Not after he’d professed his love and ended up feeling … awkward, selfish even.

  Dare was behind him. “Yeah? Then why the fuck didn’t you lay this shit on him when he was single? Why now, huh?”

  “Because…” Roan didn’t have a retort. It was the same question he’d been asking himself all along. It hadn’t been until Gannon Burgess had made an appearance in Cam’s world that Roan had felt threatened. As though he were running out of time.

  Roan turned to face Dare.

  “When did you start feeling this way about him?” Dare asked, not an ounce of condescension in his tone.

  “I don’t know.” It was the truth. He didn’t know when he’d fallen in love with Cam, or even if that was real. Something was definitely off. The only thing he knew … he didn’t want to lose the chance. If Cam wasn’t with Gannon, then Roan would still have a chance.

  “You aren’t in love with him,” Dare repeated. “You’re scared that Gannon will come between you and Cam. That you’ll lose that friendship.”

  “How the hell do you know how I feel?” Roan countered, hating that Dare could even possibly be right.

  Roan hadn’t been able to untangle his thoughts for days, weeks. But Dare was right, this hadn’t started until Gannon had come into the picture. Until Cam had…

  Oh, fuck.

  Dare’s voice pulled him up short. “Because I’ve been there.”

  Roan’s gaze swung to Dare’s. The lighthearted, carefree playboy had never looked as serious as he did right then. And that was when it hit Roan … someone had broken Dare’s heart before.

  Dare cleared his throat. “If you want to interfere, I won’t always be here to stop you. But I can tell you one thing. If you fuck this up for him, Cam will never forgive you. Do you really want to lose your best friend because you’re insecure?”

  Roan stared at Dare, fighting the burning sensation behind his eyes. “No,” he said roughly. “I don’t.”

  “Then let’s take a walk. Give them some time to work this out.”

  Roan allowed Dare to turn him toward the back door again.

  “And later, you can apologize,” Dare noted. “To both of them.”

  Thirty-Five

  It hadn’t been until he was up the stairs and through the door that Cam realized what he wanted to say to Gannon. He hated the fact that Gannon had witnessed that, and he fully intended to explain to Gannon that whatever Roan felt for Cam, it wasn’t reciprocated.

  Sure, Cam knew he needed to talk to Roan, as well. He hated that he’d left things up in the air with him, but he’d been telling Gannon the truth when he’d said he was more important. Roan was definitely important, but Gannon… Gannon was Cam’s everything. So, he would talk to Roan in a bit.

  But first…

  When Gannon closed the door to the apartment, Cam turned to face him. Without hesitation, he took a step closer, coming face-to-face with the man he loved. Cam was tempted to reach up and smooth the worry line creasing Gannon’s forehead. He hated that he’d been the one to put that there. What Gannon had seen… It had been a case of bad timing; that was it.

  Gannon’s eyes searched Cam’s face, and he briefly wondered what was going through that beautiful mind of his. After the weekend they’d just spent together, Cam hated that this shit had happened. They were making progress, and there was no way Cam would allow this misunderstanding to come between them.

  When Gannon’s eyes lifted to meet his, Cam held his gaze. “I love you.” Holding up a hand to stop Gannon from saying anything, Cam continued, “Roan’s my friend. I love him, but he’s like a brother to me. Always has been, always will be. I’m not sure what’s goin’ on with him, but I know he’s confused. Roan doesn’t love me. Not like that. He might think he does, but I assure you, even if that’s the case, it’s not reciprocated.”

  Gannon didn’t make a sound, so Cam continued.

  “When I tell you I love you, that’s not easy for me. I’ve never said those words to anyone. Not the way that I mean them toward you. This thing between us, it’s real. It might be a little rocky, but it’s real. And I’m not willing to lose you, Gannon.”

  “I—”

  Cam cut him off before he could speak. He wanted to say something else, needed Gannon to understand.

  As he stared back at Gannon, his heart leapt into his throat, his nerves rioting from what he was about to say, what he was about to do.

  But it was time.

  Slowly, very, very, slowly, Cam took a small step back and then lowered himself to one knee in front of Gannon, keeping his
eyes locked with Gannon’s the entire time.

  Gannon’s eyes widened, his mouth opening slightly.

  “Gannon Burgess,” Cam said confidently, his heart pounding in his throat, “I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love you. The thought of losing you, not having the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with you… I can’t bear it.”

  “Cam, no,” Gannon whispered.

  For a second, Cam doubted himself, but then he shored up his nerve. He wasn’t going to be deterred, regardless of what the outcome might be.

  “I love you,” Cam repeated. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Gannon. I can’t help how I feel. This is real for me. Confusing, sure.” He offered a small smile. “But real.” Cam paused for a moment, still looking up at Gannon. “I don’t have a fancy ring to offer right now, but I’ll rectify that as soon as possible. Marry me, Gannon. Agree to spend the rest of your life with me.”

  The silence in the room was deafening. Cam could hear his heart thundering, feel the painful thump in his chest as he waited for Gannon to say something. He needed Gannon to say something.

  Hell, anything, at this point, to let Cam know he’d heard him.

  “Gan—” Cam didn’t get any further, because Gannon quieted him by placing his hand over his mouth.

  “Quiet,” Gannon said softly, firmly. “Let me think.”

  “You need to think about this?” Cam asked, but the words were unintelligible, muffled by Gannon’s hand.

  “Yes,” Gannon finally said, his eyes softening. “Of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “So you’ll marry me?”

  “One day,” Gannon assured him. “Yes.” Gannon smiled. “But I reserve the right to be the one to propose officially.”

  Cam could live with that.

  He could definitely live with that.

  Gannon’s head was spinning, his mind racing with so many questions. But the most pressing one of all…

  Was this real? Was Cam really asking him to marry him?

  Based on the fact that Cam was kneeling before him, he had to think that was the case, but still.

  Not that it would change his answer. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Cam, yes. Not that he necessarily wanted to get married any time in the near future, but one day, yes.