The Londum Omnibus Volume One (The Londum Series Book 4)

by Tony Rattigan

  Cobb had always been on the side of the little guy, he didn’t like bullies and he believed that you could fight City Hall, so when these … Gods … told him to butt out of them punishing Harlequin, the old rebellious streak in him rose to the surface.

  ‘Why not?’ he asked through gritted teeth.

  ‘BECAUSE WE ARE THE GODS!’ came the reply.

  When they had first arrived in Limbo and the Gods had shown themselves, Cobb had admittedly been scared. They were Gods after all. But their attitude had really got his back up and he had gone from scared to just plain angry.

  ‘You arrogant sods! How dare you talk to me like that? Who was it who saved the Universe when you couldn’t? Me! I saved it, I saved every Universe, I saved you!

  ‘Me … just a mere mortal, I saved it so don’t you dare talk to me like that.

  ‘Gods? Your pathetic, that’s what you are. What gives you the right to decide people’s fates? You can’t even run the Universe properly. Do you know how many wars there have been that have been fought in your names? Followers of one God fighting against the followers of another God. Do you know how many millions have died because of you?

  ‘And by the way, what sort of fools do you think we are? You turn up as Athenian Gods calling yourselves Zeus and Hera and Aphrodite. Then, when their time is over, you appear to the Ancient Italians and say, “Hello, we’re called Jupiter, Juno and Venus, we’d like you to worship us.” And then you do the same with the Scandinavians and who knows how many other races. Do you think we haven’t twigged that you’re all the same bunch?’

  ‘Yes, but-’ one of the Gods tried to interrupt him but Cobb was in full rant and wasn’t going to yield the floor to anyone, no matter how divine they may be.

  ‘And then there’s the way you just stand by and let bad things happen to good people. Thousands dying in earthquakes and floods, small children dying young, old people getting beaten up and robbed by thugs. Where’s your infinite mercy there, eh?

  ‘Then there’s the way you just let someone die for no purpose, knowing it will destroy the lives of the people left behind to mourn them. Where were you then? Where were you when I needed … when I needed you?

  ‘So when one of your people actually shows a bit of compassion and bends the rules to help someone out, the way the rest of you should, what do you do? You punish him! What about justice? What about mercy? Aren’t these things you’re meant to be known for? How about showing some of that to one of your own people?’

  He paused for breath and to let himself calm down a little. This gave Jupiter a chance to reply.

  ‘But you have to understand mortal, there are rules, rules that even we must follow. We are forbidden to interfere directly in the affairs of Man. All we can do is use our influence through our agents, like Harlequin, to achieve the outcome we desire. If they or we break the rules, then everybody suffers. No one is ever forced to do anything, so when you say that wars are fought on our behalf, it is because one group of men have decided of their own will to fight another group of men. We don’t order it; it is the free choice of men that causes it.

  ‘Anyway, back to Harlequin. He broke the rules by assisting that woman to enter Limbo and take you back. He shouldn’t have done that. it wasn’t meant to happen.’

  ‘But you said that I could go back, it was my reward for saving the Multiverse … Esme told me.’

  ‘Yes, but we were going to reincarnate you, in a new body with a new identity. None of our agents were meant to help you be rescued, and certainly nobody was supposed to supply you with a new body. Harlequin crossed the line when he did that.’

  ‘Erm … excuse me,’ said a little voice from somewhere around Cobb’s knees. He looked down and Harlequin was holding his hand up, trying to interrupt.

  ‘Excuse me but I didn’t give him a new body. It wasn’t me. I was as surprised as anybody when it turned up. I thought you had done it,’ he said to the shimmering images of the Gods.

  ‘No,’ replied Jupiter, ‘it wasn’t us. Who could it have …? Oh …’

  ‘Oh what?’ said Cobb.

  ‘Never mind,’ replied Jupiter. ‘Wait a moment.’ There was no sound but by the sudden, urgent, flashing of all the ovals of light, they were obviously having some kind of discussion or argument amongst themselves.

  It only lasted a short while and when they had finished, Cobb said to them, ‘There you are, he never did it so he shouldn’t be punished for it. He should be given his powers back and allowed to go back to doing his job … annoying people,’ Cobb said looking pointedly at Harlequin. But it seemed that Jupiter had other ideas.

  ‘Both you and Harlequin have transgressed our rules by escaping from that place that we sent him to and you will both be punished.’

  ‘Wait a minute,’ said Cobb angrily. ‘You can’t punish me.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Er …’ said Cobb thinking furiously. ‘Ah, got it! Freedom of choice. You can’t punish me because I went to that Universe and saved Harlequin … of my own free will. Therefore if you punish me for it, you will be saying that I am not allowed to make my own choices and you will contravene your own rules about not interfering.’

  There was another, longer pause while the Gods conferred again. ‘Very well, what you say is true. To punish you would be to deny your free will and we cannot do that. Therefore you will not have to pay for your transgression. Well played mortal.’

  Cobb smiled at Harlequin.

  ‘However, your argument does not apply to Harlequin. He is not a man, he has been created to serve us, as an agent of ours and has no free will. Therefore in his situation, it is a plain case of disobedience of the rules and he still has to pay the price of his folly.’

  ‘Okay then,’ replied Cobb. He racked his brain for another argument but all he could come up with was, ‘All right, how about this?’ he said as a last, desperate throw of the dice, ‘you owe me … I saved the Multiverse, which means that you owe me a favour and I’m calling it in. Give him his powers back and let him go.’

  ‘No,’ said Jupiter, firmly.

  ‘Do it,’ said Cobb.

  ‘No.’

  ‘DO IT,’ came another, even more powerful voice.

  ‘But-’ said Jupiter.

  ‘DO IT! Give him what he wants.’

  ‘Very well, it will be as you say,’ said Jupiter and Cobb could hear the frustration in his voice. Who the hell had the power to order the Gods around?

  ‘Harlequin, stand up,’ Jupiter commanded. Harlequin did as he was bid.

  ‘You will be re-instated to your former power and position, we have decided to forgive you …’

  Yeah right, thought Cobb.

  ‘And let us hope that this little indiscretion won’t be repeated.’

  ‘No, I promise,’ Harlequin pledged.

  ‘Just wait,’ interrupted Cobb, ‘can I have a minute with Harlequin before you Magick him back to full strength?’

  ‘Of course, you’ll want to say your goodbyes.’

  Cobb walked towards Harlequin, who held his arms out as if to hug Cobb. BAMN! Cobb punched him in the mouth as hard as he could. Harlequin staggered back a few steps and then fell to the floor.

  Cobb stood over him and said coldly, ‘I owe you that; now stay out of my life. You got that?’

  Harlequin rubbed his chin and said, ‘I guess you’re entitled to that one. But no more!’ he said hastily as Cobb reached down towards him but Cobb was only offering his hand to help him up. Harlequin got up and took several steps backwards, away from Cobb.

  ‘Okay, you can do your stuff now,’ said Cobb.

  Harlequin stood there, bedraggled and scruffy, in his tatty outfit. Suddenly he was enveloped from head to toe in a golden glow. Cobb squinted and had to raise his hand before his eyes to block the light out. When it subsided a moment later, Harlequin stood there in all his former glory, as Cobb had first seen him. His face was clean, his hair was short again and his beard had disappeared. His clown’s outfit ha
d been restored too and he stood there, resplendent in his red and white diamond costume.

  Suddenly Columbine appeared and threw herself into his arms. They kissed passionately and Cobb felt a longing to be back with Adele.

  ‘You did it!’ said Harlequin to Columbine. ‘You saved me. I thought you never wanted to see me again and yet you planned all this to save me.’

  ‘Of course, I couldn’t survive without you. I had to get you back.’ She hugged him again. When she let him come up for air he turned to Cobb. ‘Well, I guess this is it. I don’t know how I’d have-’

  ‘Don’t bother, we’ll take it as read, okay?’

  ‘Well, thank you anyway.’ He bowed deeply. When he straightened up, he took Columbine’s hand and with a wink to Cobb he said, ‘Til the next time,’ and they both disappeared.

  Cobb turned around. ‘Okay, you can send me home now.’

  But before anyone could do anything a seventh oval appeared. The others were constantly changing rainbow colours but this was a solid, gold colour. As Cobb watched it stretched out in height until it was touching the floor. It glowed brighter and brighter until it died away and disappeared, leaving an old man standing there.

  The man was bald headed and had a silver beard, he was dressed in a toga and sandals. In his right hand he held a staff with a hook on the end, like a shepherds crook. He was slightly shorter than Cobb and had to look up to him.

  He turned to the six ovals of light and said to them, ‘You may leave now.’

  ‘But-’ said Jupiter.

  ‘Leave.’

  Now who’s the naughty schoolboys, thought Cobb.

  The ovals faded away and then blinked out, leaving Cobb and the old man alone.

  ‘You sent the Gods away … how can you do that?’ asked Cobb in astonishment.

  ‘Do you remember that Harlequin once told you that there are bigger fish in the sea than Gods? Which was naughty of him by the way but I’ll let that pass, he’s been punished enough. Well, you’re looking at that bigger fish.’

  ‘And you are …?’

  As the stranger spoke his voice swelled in volume and timbre. Cobb felt the skin of his entire body raise up in goose bumps. The harmonic vibrations made his very bones shake as the man spoke, his vision blurred as the liquid in his eyeballs began to vibrate.

  ‘WHO AM I? I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, THE FIRST AND THE LAST, THE BEGINNING AND THE END, I AM THE GREATEST. THE CREATOR OF EVERYTHING THAT LIVES AND BREATHES ON EVERY WORLD IN THIS MULTIVERSE! I AM THE HIGHEST AND THE MIGHTIEST THAT HAS EVER BEEN OR EVER WILL BE …’ then his voice dropped to a normal tone, ‘but you can call me Jeremy.’ His God-like voice had subsided to the level of Cobb’s and he now sounded just like any man in the street.

  Cobb waited until the marrow in his bones had stopped shaking and he could manage to make a coherent sound, then he asked the obvious question, ‘Jeremy?’

  ‘What’s wrong with Jeremy?’ he replied, sounding slightly miffed. ‘It’s as good a name as any.’

  ‘Okay, okay, no offence meant, Jeremy it is then.’

  ‘It’s not my real name of course, you couldn’t pronounce that. In fact I have many names, some call me The Creator, some call me The Great Architect, some even call me The Space Cowboy …’ his brow wrinkled in puzzlement, ‘… but I haven’t quite figured that one out yet.’

  ‘So you’re the Supreme Being in the Multiverse then?’ asked Cobb.

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘I thought you’d be taller.’

  ‘I can be if I want to,’ he replied.

  ‘Fair enough.’ Cobb looked around him; there were just the two of them. ‘Why are we having this conversation?’

  ‘I don’t get out enough,’ replied Jeremy. ‘Oh I visit Earth and the other planets when I can but I’m usually too busy to stay long. I just thought that I’d take the chance to talk to one of my creations.’

  Cobb thought for a moment, ‘Seriously … Jeremy?’

  ‘Yes, Jeremy,’ he replied, good-naturedly.

  ‘Sorry. Let me get this straight. So you made us all, even the Gods?’

  ‘Yes, they were one of my earlier tries.’

  ‘One of? What were the others?’

  Jeremy whistled tunelessly and looked around him, pointedly refusing to answer the question.

  ‘If you’d already made the Gods, then why bother making us?’

  ‘Like I said, they were one of my earlier attempts. I made a few mistakes with them. I created them too powerful and they were immortal. They became arrogant and capricious. That’s why I had to impose rules on them like non-interference in human matters. They can guide and manipulate but they are not allowed to directly control humanity.

  ‘So I tried again with Mankind only this time I made Man weak, frail, mortal, so he could appreciate the joy of living. To understand that he should, what’s the expression … “take time to smell the roses”.’ A rose appeared in his hand, which he held up to his nose and sniffed appreciatively.

  ‘But you only gave us a comparatively short lifetime to enjoy it.’

  ‘Time is relative Cobb. If a Mayfly was listening to this conversation he would think you were mad!’

  ‘Why are you telling me all this?’

  ‘Because no matter what kind of creature I create, once I give it the ability to think for itself and then free will, it often uses that ability to benefit itself at the expense of others. As you well know, among your kind there are evil, wicked people who delight in destroying the world around them for their own selfish reasons. One of the downfalls of giving you free will, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Don’t I know it,’ replied Cobb.

  ‘And then there are men like you. Noble, heroic, self-sacrificing.’

  ‘Hardly,’ said Cobb.

  ‘You hate Harlequin and yet you risked your own life by going to that other dimension to save him and then you defended him against the Gods, did you not?’

  Cobb shrugged, ‘S’pose I did. What’s your point?’

  Jeremy continued, ‘You have shown me that Mankind is capable of looking beyond its own petty needs and is willing to sacrifice itself if necessary, for the sake of others.

  ‘And if that is true, it makes me believe that if Mankind can look outside itself; it has the capability to understand and appreciate the wonders of the Universe around them. You show me that my effort hasn’t been wasted, that humanity is capable of achieving greatness.’

  ‘Stop it, you’re making me blush,’ said Cobb facetiously.

  ‘Besides, I owe you because actually you could be considered to be the true Creator.’

  ‘Me?’ said Cobb doubtfully.

  ‘Yes, you. Out of all the Cobbs in all the Universes you were the only one that went back to the beginning of time and set off the second Big Bang that created the Multiverse, or the Great Blast as your scientists call it. It was from that Creation that I came into being. So I owe my existence and everything that stems from it, to you.’

  ‘So who set off the first Great Blast … er … Big Bang, whatever you called it? I thought you were the Supreme Being?’

  Jeremy looked sheepish, ‘The Supreme Being in this reality that is. But there are other planes of existence above even the one we are in now.’

  ‘So who is running it all?’

  ‘I don’t know, and even if I did I couldn’t tell you. It wouldn’t be good for you.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Ever hear the expression, “Trying to get a quart into a pint pot”. All that information would be too much for you. Try to picture your brains running out of your ears because there’s too much information going in.’

  Cobb pondered this image. ‘So this food chain going up higher and higher, does it ever stop?’

  This time it was Jeremy that shrugged.

  Cobb said to Jeremy, ‘So, how many different Universes are there?’

  Jeremy replied, ‘Dunno exactly … I tried counting them once, fell asleep half way through.’
/>
  ‘Can I ask another question?’ Cobb asked Jeremy.

  ‘You may ask, I can’t promise an answer.’

  ‘What’s it all about then? Why are we here?’

  ‘Ah Cobb, I was afraid you would ask that one. That’s something Mankind is going to have to figure out for itself.’

  ‘So you won’t tell me then?’

  ‘What you must realise Cobb, is that sometimes the answer to a question is actually irrelevant; it is the search for that answer that is important. To quest and to strive for knowledge brings its own growth and understanding. And you want me to tell you it all … just like that. Where’s the fun in that?’

  ‘You know, I had a feeling you’d say something like that. Baffle me with double talk.’

  ‘One other thing,’ said Jeremy, ‘scientists on your world think that the fastest thing in the Multiverse is the Speed of Light but even faster than that is the spread of evil if it goes unchecked. “The Speed of Dark” you might call it. That’s why good men like you are crucial to Mankind’s survival, to help keep evil under control. “For evil to succeed it is only necessary for good men to do nothing”, I believe someone once said.’

  ‘Well, why don’t you just stop it when you see it happening?’

  ‘Free will. I gave you the freedom to do as you will. Evil men will be evil, it’s their nature. Good men will try and stop them; it’s their nature. Besides, it’s all a question of balance you see, light and dark, good and evil, fire and ice, man and woman, Yin and Yang-’

  ‘Fish and chips?’ offered Cobb.

  ‘Er, no. But my point is, there cannot be just one … there must be both. It’s how the Universe works. It’s why the Universe works.

  ‘But the spread of evil is insidious, that’s why good men are needed, to keep it in check.’

  ‘So what’s all this got to do with me?’ asked Cobb.

  ‘Because, like it or not, you are a piece of the bigger story and you have to play your part in it.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Everything, and I mean everything, stars, planets, people, animals, the earth, the trees, are all made of the same stuff … Dark Matter. Think of it. You, me, this rose, are all made of the same material that the stars are made of. Isn’t that wonderful? We are all interconnected, part of the same Universe. So it’s not possible to turn your back and say “It’s nothing to do with me”.’