Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)

by Wells, Linda

  “I give up.” She sat back and sighed.

  “No dear Lizzy, you must never give up. Tenacity is an excellent quality to possess.”

  “Mama would call it stubbornness and label it unattractive.”

  “Your mother does not appreciate the subtle difference. You should.”

  “Mama says that I will never catch a man if I do not stop speaking my mind.” She met his eye and said hesitantly. “She says I am too much like a boy.”

  “ah.” He said softly. “That is a barb sent to me. Sometimes your mother is not quite so silly.”

  “What do you mean, Papa?” Elizabeth leaned forward to try and read his face, but he gave her no clues. “Papa?”

  “Enough of this child; go out and join the family. Expand your education by observing the difference between town and country, and try to decide which you prefer.” He saw her concerned expression. “Do not allow my musings to upset you.”

  “Yes, Papa, but I wish you would join us, your company is missed.” She stood and kissed his forehead and left the room, closing the door behind her, and returning to the chaos of the Bennet household.

  “Lizzy! There you are; it is time for you to exhibit!” Mrs. Bennet pushed her forward.

  “Oh Mama, my playing is so poor, I would not wish to subject our guests to it.” She smiled at the gathered crowd. “Surely Charlotte would perform very well …”

  “I would much prefer to hear you, Eliza.” Charlotte smiled as Elizabeth shot her a look. “You must sing as well.” She added and pressed her lips together to contain her laughter.

  “Is there anything else you would like while I am at it? Shall I dance a jig?”

  “Miss Lizzy, do as you are told!” Mrs. Bennet shrilled. Elizabeth turned to respond when her aunt touched her arm.

  “Lizzy.” Mrs. Gardiner said softly. “You are out, and when asked to exhibit, must do so graciously. This is what a lady does.”

  Immediately she blushed. “Forgive me, Aunt. I was not upset with the request for a performance so much as the way it was presented to me.”

  Mrs. Gardiner smiled. “I understand, but the goal in both circumstances is the same. The audience requests to hear your talent; and you must take advantage of the opportunity to display it.”

  “But everyone here knows me, they will see nothing new.”

  “Someday you may be in a situation before strangers and will need to show yourself to your best advantage. Would not this experience before friends now give you the confidence you will need then?” She nodded and sat back down.

  Elizabeth could not dispute the sense in that, and walked forward to sit at the bench. Jane offered to turn the pages and she played first the piece she had been struggling to learn for months, and receiving the warm applause of her family and friends, relaxed and imagined herself in a drawing room in a fine home, and the eyes of a remembered gentleman upon her. She smiled and her voice lifted in song. When she finished she was rewarded with cheers and encouraged, broke into playing a jig to satisfy the young people, who jumped up to dance.

  Mr. Gardiner looked to his wife and squeezed her hand as he spoke softly. “That is her talent, her voice. Perhaps we might find her a master the next time she comes to visit.”

  “Will you ask Thomas?”

  “I know that I should, but I hesitate. He is so odd about their education. You cannot care for your children and their futures if you never leave your study.” Mr. Gardiner added fiercely, “Marianne, if you ever catch me doing such a thing to our children …”

  “You never would, Edward. You are already a caring father and pay them more attention than any man I know. But what of your sister, why do you have such good views on education and she does not?”

  “Francine is lively and I think she is bright, but our mother never challenged her or Margaret. We had no governess, and Mother taught them the best as she could, but she certainly had no education. They were left to find their futures by being personable and pretty, not by wit or talent. Lizzy will have all of those things, imagine what she could do if she was given the proper guidance, she has such potential. Her father sees it, but keeps it to himself.”

  Mrs. Gardiner watched as the girls danced with each other and the Lucas boys. “That is what concerns me.

  “If Thomas does nothing to educate his girls; surely Francine should know that the more accomplishments they have, the more attractive they would be to suitors. They cannot win them with their dowry, should they not be given every other tool? I know how worried she is about the future, but surely she should understand this.”

  “She won a gentleman with her looks, as far as she is concerned that is all her girls need.” He smiled sadly at his wife. “I grew up with her, I know.” He looked over to Jane, smiling placidly as Robert Lucas spoke to her. “I believe that Jane will suffer for her serenity.”

  “Jane?” Mrs. Gardiner said with surprise. “Surely you jest!”

  “Well, what are her accomplishments? She is good with a needle and behaves as a lady. She is not witty or well-read, nor talented with music or art. She is kind and well-behaved, but truly Marianne, do not tell me that she will not sacrifice herself to the first man who offers her a home and security for her family. She will not speak up for herself and her desires.”

  “Lizzy said something like that this summer.” Mrs. Gardiner said softly.

  “She is no fool, dear.” He smiled. “I hope that our girls take after her.”

  “Oh, and not after their mother?” She raised her brow and received a kiss on her cheek. “That is better.” He chuckled. “Well, I will invite both girls to come to us again this summer for a time, and we will see what we can contribute to their improvement. The other girls, however …” She met her husband’s eye and smiled. “Well, they are still young.”

  28 MARCH 1808

  At last I believe that Spring is truly on its way! I have seen evidence of buds swelling on the apple trees and the happy activity in the animals as I take my walks. It feels so good to have these occasional days of bright sunshine breaking up the days of incessant rain.

  Elizabeth paused from her writing to look out the window and spied Lydia and Kitty setting off down the lane, probably to visit Maria Lucas, and smiled to see a bird alighting upon a tree branch, its beak filled with bits of dried grass for its nest. A thought came to mind and she turned to pick up the book of poetry that lay by her side.

  Spring, the sweet spring, is the year’s pleasant king,

  Then blooms each thing, then maids dance in a ring,

  Cold doth not sting, the pretty birds do sing:

  Cuckoo, jug-jug, pu-we, to-witta-woo!

  The palm and May make country houses gay,

  Lambs frisk and play, the shepherds pipe all day,

  And we hear aye birds tune this merry lay:

  Cuckoo, jug-jug, pu-we, to-witta-woo!

  The fields breathe sweet, the daisies kiss our feet,

  Young lovers meet, old wives a-sunning sit,

  In every street these tunes our ears do greet:

  Cuckoo, jug-jug, pu-we, to witta-woo!¹

  Giggling she closed the book. “Cuckoo, jug-jug, pu-we, to witta-woo!” She smiled. “What a silly man to try and interpret what a bird would say! I wonder at any man being so silly to try and write that down!” She returned to her journal, writing of her latest endeavours to study the atlas her father had recently acquired and hoped to determine a way to interest her other sisters in places beyond their garden.

  Darcy closed his book and slipped it into his saddlebag, then continued his solitary ride over the estate, humming to himself, “cukoo, jug-jug, pu-we, to witta-woo!” Stopping again he looked down over the fields where the sheep had been herded for the night, leaving their manure for the coming planting, and saw the frolicking lambs dancing near their mothers. It was a very successful spring in that respect, but he made a mental note that he must mark his calendar for several foxhunts beginning in autumn to control the vermin and protect h
is flocks. His father’s death had cancelled such seemingly frivolous activity at the estate last year and he was now concerned that his newborn lambs might be targeted soon. It was an error of judgment to not allow the hunts, and he had ignored his steward’s advice. It would not happen again. The man knew his business, and where his steward could not speak to him, his uncle could, and did. Darcy simply had not been up for hosting guests, and did not feel he could while in mourning. He watched with satisfaction as his shepherds trained a group of new dogs to look after the animals. One item checked off of his list, he rode away to speak with Mr. Nichols. He would leave for London in two days, and had to make sure that everything was in order at Pemberley before his departure. He had no doubt that the estate would be left in good hands.

  “The post has arrived, sir.” Mrs. Reynolds informed him as a maid took his coat late that afternoon. Darcy smiled slightly and adjusted the black armband.

  “Thank you Mrs. Reynolds. Is there anything that I must address for the household before we leave? I do not intend to stay in town for the entire Season, but it will be several months before I return.” He walked into the study and she followed him.

  “No sir, I believe that all is well. I have hired six new maids and four footmen, all are relatives of our former servants, so I do not expect any trouble from them.”

  His brow creased. “I suppose that I should know this but …is it common to lose so much staff in the Spring? Were they unhappy? Is there a need amongst the staff that I should know?”

  Mrs. Reynolds regarded her master with approval of his concern. “Oh no sir, we have a turn-over every few years of the lower staff. It is not that Pemberley is unpleasant, but you know, these young people think that London is where their future lies.” She shook her head. “And then I hear how so many become ill there and die. Nasty air. I hope you return to Pemberley soon, sir. I would not want you to take ill as well.”

  Darcy smiled at this old protector. “I think that I am immune to whatever lurks in the air by now, Mrs. Reynolds.” He noticed her doubtful expression and appreciated her care. “We will come home more than ready to enjoy the fresh air here. Now, the accounts are in order?”

  “Yes sir, don’t you worry about a thing. I hope that you enjoy visiting your family.” She smiled and left the room. Darcy sighed and looked down at the pile of letters on his desk, seeing one from his uncle and another from Lady Catherine.

  “Enjoy, hmm, interesting word.” He opened his uncle’s letter first.

  Dear Darcy,

  I expect to see you in town in the next fortnight. Your aunt wishes you to inform us of your arrival, and be warned, she has great plans for you. Now, I know what you will say, you remain in mourning, however, six months have passed and you are now free to socialize a bit, so you cannot use that as a complete excuse. You can visit family for dinners and if some friends and neighbours happen to be present it will certainly not be your fault! Helen has been to Almack’s and has studied the new crop of ladies for the year and has found a number of beauties for your perusal. I must say you are the envy of the men, so young and such a fortune available. I assure you that you will be quite the popular fellow! The ladies all know that you are to arrive soon, and they are already forming their battle plans! You should have quite the delightful time enjoying their smiles and whispers. Ah, to be young again! Well, do not let your aunt hear that, but I am looking forward to seeing the pretty birds showing their feathers for you! Enjoy it, Son!

  I have received a letter from Richard, he is well as of three weeks ago, and has been promoted to Major. From the rumours I have heard around the House of Lords, I believe that he is part of the forces who will support Sweden. Of course he provides no details, only assurances of his health. It is very trying on us to wait and wonder; more so as you know the members of our society seem to prefer to ignore anything that occurs outside of ballrooms, so there are few friends with whom to commiserate. Well, I digress. We hope that he will return soon, his mother in particular.

  Be warned that my sister is greatly anticipating your arrival at Rosings. I am certain that you know why and have devised your defences. Give our love to Georgiana, and we look forward to your arrival.

  Sincerely,

  Matlock

  Darcy refolded the letter and stared at it for a few moments. His uncle’s confession of worry over Richard was remarkable, but this was the first time that his second son was truly in harm’s way. His previous trips had been relatively brief and uneventful. This time it was bloody and there were no guarantees of return. Darcy’s worry over Richard had been constant, but like his uncle, he had no one in whom to confide his feelings. He thought to look into purchasing a small estate to hold for a second son. He did not want to face the possibility of his child dying in war simply by order of birth. He wondered if he would have chosen the path of the military and decided that had he been forced to make a decision, he would have followed the law as his career. Opening the letter from Rosings, he braced himself for his aunt’s demands.

  Dear Darcy,

  I expect your arrival on the 15th. Easter Sunday we will enjoy the company of our pastor and his wife. Anne is excited by your visit and has spoken of little else for weeks. You will be well-pleased with her; a bloom comes to her cheeks when I speak of your pending betrothal. Your mother would be so proud to see this come to pass, she told me often how she wished for you and Anne to join the estates, and of course, how could you deny the wish of your dear mother? I spoke of it often to your father as well.

  Darcy closed his eyes. “Yes, and my father assured me that neither he nor Mother supported your scheme. Bloom in Anne’s cheeks, indeed!” He snorted. “Perhaps from a fever brought on by your insistence that she sit as close to the fire as possible!” Sighing he read the rest of the letter, but it was the same as ever, assumptions over his marriage to Anne and directions for Georgiana’s upbringing. Folding it he turned and tossed the paper into the fire and watched as it was consumed. “Marriage to Anne would be a last resort, and according to my uncle,” he closed his eyes, “the ladies of town will not allow that to occur.” He glanced down at his journal and read the day’s entry.

  28 March 1808

  I am preparing for my return to society. I suspect that I will take little enjoyment of it. I might take frequent walks in the park and find better companionship there.

  “DID YOU SEE that Netherfield Park was let again?” Charlotte Lucas said as she and Elizabeth waited their turns at bowls. The two families had gathered at Lucas Lodge for a picnic on the sunny day.

  Jane tossed her ball and they watched it roll to a stop near the pins. “I heard from Mama that it is a Naval officer and his family. She was vastly disappointed.” Elizabeth grinned at Charlotte and took her turn. “I imagine Lady Lucas was as well?”

  “Yes, to say the least. She was hoping for some boys of marriageable age, not ones still riding their stick ponies on the lawn.” She smiled and shrugged. “Well, someone will come along eventually.”

  “Someone to love.” Elizabeth said determinedly.

  “Eliza, you really have to rethink this philosophy of yours!” Charlotte clapped as Maria’s ball travelled to strike down the pins successfully. “Marriage is for security, not love. If love occurs it is a fortunate bonus, but surely not necessary.”

  “Your heart is hardening Charlotte.”

  “Not at all, my heart is the same as it ever was. I am simply older now and feeling the concern of my family that I find my own home.” She smiled sadly. “It will not be long before Jane feels the same, I am sure.”

  “Lydia!” Jane cried.

  “What?” Lydia quickly stopped her attempts to rearrange the pins into an advantageous configuration for her ball.

  “Stop that!” Elizabeth admonished. “You may not change the rules to suit your desires!”

  “Oh Lizzy, who wants to play by silly rules? I want to make up my own game!” With that she began grabbing balls, rolling one after the other down the le
ngth the course, merrily whacking the pins every which way. Kitty giggled and joined in the fun. Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other helplessly as Mrs. Bennet laughed and applauded their antics.

  “I am sorry, Charlotte.” Elizabeth said quietly.

  “It is fine, Eliza.” She smiled slightly and they walked out to retrieve the balls before they were lost forever in the grass. Mr. Bennet looked up from the book he was reading and took in the chaotic scene, then returned to his page.

  “Such wonderful lively girls they are!” Mrs. Bennet cried. “Do you not agree, Mr. Bennet?”

  “Lively indeed, they will undoubtedly attract the best of men one day, and they will be as pleased with their marriage as I.” He said tonelessly.

  “Oh Mr. Bennet, how you make me blush, still!” Mrs. Bennet gushed and waved her fan vigorously. Lady Lucas looked between her and Mr. Bennet then raised her brows to her daughter.

  Charlotte pursed her lips and saw Elizabeth and Jane flushed with embarrassment. “I heard that you are to visit London, Eliza.”

  Elizabeth looked up. “Oh, yes my aunt Gardiner asked for me to come in May. She is expecting again and would like some help with the children. Jane will go in autumn for her confinement.”

  “And see to it that you look out for some gentlemen this time, Lizzy!” Mrs. Bennet called. “Mr. Bennet, we must order some new gowns for her before she goes, Lord knows that she needs something to make her more attractive!”

  “Mama! I want some new gowns, too!” Lydia whined. “Why can I not have new things?”

  “Me, too! I want to wear pretty dresses, not this silly smock!” Kitty cried.

  “You are not out! You can not suggest that you are available to men by your dress!” Mary admonished.

  “Oh what do you care? You will never look at a man! Besides, what do I care of men? I just want new things.” Lydia stuck her tongue out at her sister. “Please Mama; let us go to the dress shop now!” She turned to her father. “Please Papa, please? I want a new dress and bonnet and gloves, and oh a parasol! I am tired of wearing Lizzy and Jane’s old things!” She jumped up and down eagerly and began pulling on his arm, making his book bounce.