Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)

by Wells, Linda

  Papa remarked on Fitzwilliam, how powerful he was. I admit that I laughed. I suppose that I see the side of him that nobody else ever will; he is passionate and playful, and shy, and so very dear to me. Papa is clearly trying to make amends with him, but I do not know if he realizes that the only way to make amends to Fitzwilliam is by doing well by his family. That is what will earn my husband’s respect.

  “Come to bed, Lizzy.” Darcy murmured from his pillow. She looked up in surprise, and saw that he was deeply asleep. Elizabeth closed her journal and blew out the candle, then slipped into the bed beside him. “I love you.” He whispered in his dream.

  “I love you.” She whispered back and stroked his hair. “My sleepy Will.”

  “Kiss me.”

  Elizabeth smiled, seeing his lips pucker and touch the pillow. She leaned to his ear and kissed the lobe. He sighed and she moved close to give his lips her own to caress, then cuddled her giant of a husband to her, laying her cheek on his head as he burrowed into her embrace and rested his face on her shoulder. “Take me home.” She whispered and felt him stir. Darcy lifted his head to look at her sleepily and gave her a slow soft kiss.

  “That is where you are now.” He smiled and kissed her again before cuddling back into her arms and hugging her. “Sleep Mrs. Darcy, sleep.”

  Chapter 32

  “Elizabeth.” Darcy whispered urgently. “Dearest please …” He slipped his arms around her sleeping form and moaned. “Oh Lizzy my love, you are so soft!” He rested his forehead on the back of her neck and pressed himself against her. It was the third day of their travels, it was long past midnight, the moon was new, and at last the inn was silent. The only sound was the hearty snoring coming from a room down the hall. Darcy had resisted the exceptional temptation that sleeping with Elizabeth presented over the last two nights, being sure to chastely kiss her and lie by her side; and eventually fall asleep, aching and miserable, determined not to give up their privacy by allowing anyone else to hear their lovemaking, only to awaken to find them entwined yet separated by far too much fabric. But Elizabeth had taken a bath when they arrived, and her hair was scented with rosewater, and her warm body was curled against his, and her nightdress lifted away so easily, and … and … and … “Lizzy, please!” She blinked open her eyes to sense Darcy hovering above, feeling him more than seeing in the pitch black room. His erratic breaths washed over her. “Fitz …” Her mouth was engulfed by his, and she was surrounded by his body before another tick of the clock passed. Her fingers ran up into his hair and his kisses devoured her.

  “Off. Lizzy this must come off!” He grabbed the night dress, lifting it up and over her head. He groaned, “I cannot see you!” His hands slid up over her form, and holding her breasts, he lowered his head, hungrily suckling one, then moving this head to lick and nip the other.

  “Oh Will!” She moaned and he moved back up to her mouth.

  “I cannot spend another night this way!” He sighed into her ear. “Please my love, please, if we are very slow and …”

  “Yes.” She tugged at his night shirt and he threw it off, and already forgetting his rules groaned loudly with the feel of their skin meeting once again. “shhhh!” She whispered urgently.

  “I cannot help it. You feel so good!” Immediately he started kissing below her ear and she gasped, then moaned. “Shhhhhhh, dearest!”

  “Ohhhhh, Will … Fitzwill …”

  “Shhh!” He commanded then suckled her ear, tracing his tongue over the lobe and licking her throat. Elizabeth responded by rubbing her hands up his back and down over his bottom, slipping between them to fondle his manhood then when he begged her for more, she let go and their bed was soon creaking and groaning to the steady and desperate movement of their joined bodies. Their hands and mouths were in constant motion, their moans grew increasingly louder. Darcy lifted his chest up, still thrusting his hips vigorously, and pressed his forehead to hers. “Quiet!”

  “Are you insane?” Elizabeth laughed.

  Darcy laughed when the bed thumped against the wall. “Yes I am.” He closed his eyes as Elizabeth’s moans brought him to the edge. When she cried his name, he bellowed hers and collapsed onto her. They lay panting in each other’s arms until Elizabeth gulped and began to giggle. Darcy moved off of her and wiped his dripping brow, then hers. He laughed and gathered her up to his chest to bury his face in her damp, sweet hair. Someone pounded on their door to be quiet and they both gasped and felt warm blushes of embarrassment spreading over each other. They lay silently clasped, barely breathing, and listening for the sounds of the footsteps and voices to go away. “We can never stay here again.” He said positively.

  “No, never.” She agreed, and burrowed even closer into the absolute safety of his arms. “I am so embarrassed.”

  “So am I.” He squeezed her tight, and then sighed as they relaxed their grips slightly. “We are such fools.”

  “But we are happy fools.”

  “That we are.” He kissed her. “I love you.”

  “I love you.”

  “I could never be this way with any other person.”

  “Mortified?”

  He smiled and kissed her gently, then closed his eyes. “Yes. Only with you.”

  She smiled, hearing his deep steady breathing had already begun, and rested her head over his heart. “Only with you could I be so embarrassed and feel so good.”

  TWELVE HOURS LATER, Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand and lifted it to his mouth. “Here we are.” The carriage turned onto the gravelled drive and he nodded to the man standing by the gate at the lodge. Feeling her stiffen he slipped his arms around her waist. “Please do not be afraid.”

  “I cannot help it.” She looked away from the endless trees and back to him. “Suddenly this is real.”

  “What was it before?”

  Elizabeth smiled to see the warmth in his eyes. “I suppose that it was a dreamlike state.”

  “So all of our experiences in London were so very pleasant that you would describe them as fantasy?” Now his lips twitched and she laughed.

  “Well, perhaps certain experiences were fantastic.” She caressed his cheek and his smile grew. “Please be patient with me.”

  “I am learning with you, dearest. I know nothing of the houses, not really, I barely know the estate. I rather like the idea that we are on similar footing. I like us learning together.” Darcy kissed her then turned so that she was facing the window. He rested his chin on her shoulder. “Now, watch. When we come to the top of the rise, you will see our home.” Elizabeth nodded and gripped the hands that rested over her waist. Darcy passed the time pressing light kisses to her cheek and throat, then hearing the changing stride of the horses, he stopped and hugged her. “Look upon your world, my love.”

  “Oh!” She gasped softly and leaned forward to gaze out of the open window, resting her hands on the frame. Darcy leaned with her, and pointed as they rolled along.

  “There, do you see where the stone is blackened in the rear of the house? That is where the fire raged. I can see the new roof there, do you? They have made great progress.” Elizabeth began to feel overwhelmed and looked back at him to see that his focus was sharp and his eyes were moving everywhere at once, assessing and examining the view below, and for the first time she saw her husband slip into his role as master. It took him a few moments before he realized that the view Elizabeth was watching was not the valley below, but his face. Darcy’s expression became very shy. “Why do you stare at me so? Do you not care for Pemberley?”

  “I do very much.” She kissed him. “Could we stop the carriage and walk to the house?”

  “Walk?” He started to laugh. “It is not a simple stroll through the meadow to arrive there, my love.”

  “But I can see paths cut through the trees!” She turned back around and pointed. “Look!”

  “Yes, those are for hunting, not for … Elizabeth; a moment ago you were frightened!”

  “I know, it is the strangest thi
ng, but I saw you looking over your land, and you look so proud, and not at all intimidated, even though you just confessed to me how little you know. Well if you can find the courage to be master then I shall find the same to be mistress.” She smiled at the passing scenery. “We shall do very well together.”

  Darcy’s embrace grew tighter and he kissed her cheek. “My father would have loved you.”

  “As long as his son does, I will be fine.” She turned back and kissed his chin. “Now, about this walk?”

  “No, there will be plenty of time for walking, but I will not bring the mistress home on foot.” He moved back and drew her along so that she was turned to face him. “And you promised to learn to ride, remember?”

  “Oh yes, when shall you teach me?”

  He chuckled as she came alive with excitement. “Is tomorrow too soon?”

  “Will you have time? Since you have been away, I am sure that your steward will demand your attention.”

  “He will, but as far as I am concerned, we are on our honeymoon until Georgiana returns. I will work but only as necessary. This time is a precious gift for us, my love. I shall not waste it.” He kissed her slowly and delighted in her response. “Oh, such plans I have for you!”

  “Well what are they?” She demanded. “You have given me no inkling of these plans, even Georgiana knows more than I!”

  “Jealous?” He chuckled.

  “Fitzwilliam!”

  “Hush.” He kissed her. “Look, the staff is assembled to meet you.”

  “Oh no.” She whispered and sunk back into his arms.

  “Courage, my love. They are here for your service. You are the mistress of this home. They work for you now.” He raised his brow at her. “The house is yours, Elizabeth, for as long as you live.”

  “You are not helping me, Mr. Darcy.” She sighed and closed her eyes, summoning all of the advice her aunts had heaped upon her before leaving London. The carriage stopped and she made no attempt to move.

  “Elizabeth.” He said softly. “It is time.”

  The carriage door opened. Darcy let her go and stepped down, nodding to the staff then offering his hand, Elizabeth stepped out and met his slight smile with a brilliant one of her own. His eyes lit up and she laughed. “Well, one thing is certain, if I make a mistake, I shall not be dismissed from the position.”

  “I could lock you up in the attic.” He suggested as she stepped down.

  “Oh that would be far too inconvenient for you.” She disagreed and took his arm.

  “True, I do so enjoy admiring your figure.” Darcy smiled and she laughed. “What would I do without your laugh as well?”

  “Are you flirting with me?” Elizabeth tilted her head. “I like it.”

  “I am not very good at it.”

  “You are doing just fine.” She whispered.

  “Keep telling me that.” He whispered back, then turning, performed the official introduction of the mistress to the staff. Mrs. Reynolds nodded her head and they all returned to their duties. Darcy then took Elizabeth’s hand and led her forward. “Mrs. Darcy, this is Mrs. Reynolds, Pemberley’s housekeeper. She has looked after me in one capacity or another since I was a boy of four.”

  Elizabeth smiled and was pleased to see her smile in return. “Mrs. Mercer told me how you cared for Mr. Darcy and Miss Darcy after their father’s death, and Miss Darcy told me of her fondness for you. I am fortunate to have such a dedicated woman to teach me all that I need to know here.”

  “That was very kind of her, thank you madam.” Mrs. Reynolds flushed with pride. “I will be glad to help you. The staff is very pleased indeed to see the master happy.”

  “Mrs. Reynolds, please.” Darcy said quietly.

  “Yes sir.” Elizabeth saw how his expression changed, and wondered what was behind it. “Pemberley is not too unlike what Mrs. Mercer has told you of Darcy House, madam.”

  “Only vastly larger.” She looked at the enormous house and again felt Darcy’s grip on her hand.

  “Shall we look it over?” He said softly, “Or would you like to rest?”

  “I believe a walk would feel good after so many hours confined in the carriage.”

  “Then let us change out of these things and I will gladly begin your education.” He kissed her hand. “Mrs. Reynolds, I am disappointed that Mr. Nichols is not present. Is there a problem on the estate?”

  “No sir, he asked me to inform you that he would leave you alone today, but would like a meeting tomorrow afternoon. He assumed that you would not be interested in business upon arriving with Mrs. Darcy.” She smiled as his eyes crinkled.

  “He is correct.” He nodded and she left them alone in front of the house. Darcy turned and took both of her hands in his. “That was not so bad, was it?”

  “Why did you stop Mrs. Reynolds? Was I wrong to speak of Mrs. Mercer to her?”

  “No, not at all.” He sighed. “Mrs. Reynolds fancies herself as a bit of a mother to me and Georgiana, and she is rather effusive in her praise when she speaks of us. We often have visitors who apply to see the house and grounds, and of course she leads the tours. Some acquaintances of mine did just that last year when I was in London, and when I saw them, well, they were quite amused with how wonderful she described me to be. It was very embarrassing.”

  “It is clearly not without reason.” Elizabeth reached up to caress his cheek. “I think that I will have to hear this speech of Mrs. Reynolds’ myself.”

  “Do not encourage her, Elizabeth.” He said seriously. She just smiled and stood on her toes to kiss him, and he sighed. “Very well then, do not tell me about it.”

  “Agreed.” She looped her hand onto his arm and looked towards the house. “I am ready.” She squared her shoulders and said determinedly. “Show me our home.”

  13 JULY 1809

  My dearest Elizabeth sleeps now. She is a wonder. We arrived and the moment we had changed clothes, she had me by the hand and demanded her tour. I do not believe I have ever fielded so many questions, laughed so hard, or run so quickly in my life. And I know that I have never been kissed and embraced so often. She was overwhelmed and awed, it was clear, but she did not give in to intimidation by all that she now has. My wife expressed delight, insisted that not one thing be changed, and amazed me with her ability to bring smiles to the faces of every staff member we encountered. I know already that she will be a beloved mistress, but I also know enough of her that she will run her household with efficiency and fairness. Any maid who thinks that she can shirk her duty under the sharp eyes of my young wife will be in for a surprise, I think.

  My happiest moment in a day full of them was when we retired last night. Darcy House is a beautiful and important part of our lives, but Pemberley is home, and when I took her into the master’s chambers and loved her, I at last felt that Pemberley was mine. Before I felt that I was merely the caretaker for my absent father. The two of us in that most private of rooms, lost in our love and embrace established absolutely that we are the master and mistress, and I pray that it shall remain that way for us, together, until we are very, very old.

  When my love wakes, I will begin my plans. I hope that she is pleased; I have spent so many hours imagining her here with no hope of it ever coming to fruition. Today many dreams will be fulfilled.

  Elizabeth’s lip caught in her teeth, and she took the ribbon from where he kept it in the front cover and placed it back over the page she had just read. It had become a signal between them that she had been reading his journal. Hearing him clearly dismissing his valet, she dashed out of their private sitting room and back to her chambers to finish dressing. Darcy strode into the master’s chambers then into the sitting room. Immediately he noticed that the ribbon had moved and a smile spread across his face. He stepped up to the writing desk, fingered the lover’s knot then picked up her journal, and casually paged to the last entry.

  13 July 1809

  Yesterday we arrived and Fitzwilliam introduced me to our home. To say it i
s breathtaking would be an insult. Words cannot describe it. When I first entered though, the atmosphere was so still, I can hardly express it but to say that the very house seemed to remain in mourning. The splendour in every direction was exceptional, but the veil of sadness was almost smothering. I understand so much of Fitzwilliam now. His personality is stamped throughout the home, even if he has not changed a single thing since his father’s death. It is he who preserved it all, which tells me that everything around us is important to him. I will not touch the physical reminders of his family; however, I am determined to change the heartbeat of this place. We explored so much of the house, until it grew far too dark to see more, and I know there are scores of rooms to go. The stories behind the decoration will fill our conversation for a lifetime, I think. What I enjoyed most of all was seeing his face as he told me his memories, they were not sad or painful, and when they became so, I would stop him from dwelling on his losses and instead ask that he tell me how his parents enjoyed this home. I want him to remember his life with pleasure. I want to make sure that my husband is happy with his past. I firmly believe that will give us the strength to face our future, whatever comes.

  I am frightened beyond expression to fail him, but every time I feel myself slipping into despair, I know that all I need to do is look into his eyes. He loves me, and he needs me, just as I do him.

  “Oh Elizabeth.” Darcy whispered. “When did you become so strong?” He felt her hands sliding around his waist and smiled to feel her head pressing against his back. “You caught me.”

  “I do not see a thing; your back is far too broad.”

  “I thought that you liked that.” He set down the book and turned around in her embrace to wrap her up in his. “I seem to recall some poetry about the width of my shoulders as well.” He chuckled and smiled at her sparkling eyes. “Not quite worthy of publication, but satisfying nonetheless.”

  “Well if you would like me to work harder on my poetry of your form and send it to the Times to be published …