The Trail Home

by Bonnie Bryant

  “Just like the other night.”

  “Right, but medication hasn’t calmed him at all.”

  “We’ve got to go.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “Of course I do,” Carole said.

  “What’s up?” Stevie asked, seeing Carole’s and Ben’s serious faces when she and Phil came into the house.

  Carole told them.

  “We’ll come, too,” said Phil.

  “You don’t have to,” Ben said.

  “Of course we do,” said Stevie, echoing Carole.

  Ben agreed. The four of them pulled their clothes on over their bathing suits and made their excuses to the Foresters and Emily, explaining what was going on.

  Callie and Emily would want to be there as much as the other four, but there would be little they could do. They’d be better off staying home for the moment.

  “Call us,” Callie said.

  “We will,” Phil told her.

  “Um, save some of that barbecue, will you?” Stevie asked.

  “It’s a deal,” said Mrs. Forester.

  Carole got her keys and had her engine going before all four doors were closed. Fez needed them. There was no time to waste.

  FOURTEEN

  It was worse. Carole expected to see Fez in the same condition she and Ben had found him in two nights before when they’d calmed him to sleep, but this was much worse. Fez’s legs were flailing around purposelessly and painfully. His eyes, previously listless, were now open wide with fear.

  “He’s going to hurt himself,” Max said. “We can’t let him lie there.”

  “He was too tired to stand earlier.”

  “Well, he’s too tired to lie down now,” said Max. “Let’s get him up. There are enough of us; we ought to be able to lift him, and then we can put him in his sling. Ben, Phil, get on that side. Carole, you stand over here with me. Stevie—um—”

  “I know,” Stevie said. “I should call Judy.”

  “Yes. Call Judy,” Ben said, confirming what they all knew. Fez wasn’t making it, and they needed Judy there to help.

  Ben took over then, trying to use Carole’s theory, the one that had worked earlier. It wasn’t working now. They really would have to lift the horse, and they were probably going to have to use the sling to do it.

  Stevie fled. She couldn’t stand to watch. She knew a dying horse when she saw one. Fez was in great pain, and he’d been allowed to heal long enough that if he wasn’t well now, he wasn’t going to be. Everybody there knew that. They needed Judy, and they needed her as soon as possible.

  Stevie reached the phone in the office and dialed the very familiar number of Pine Hollow’s equine veterinarian. Judy wasn’t there.

  “Do you know where she is?” Stevie asked Judy’s husband, Alan.

  “A horse farm called Paget’s Pride. It’s a ways from here. The man has a mare that’s going to foal soon—”

  “Can you call her cell phone?”

  “Battery’s dead,” Alan said. “I tried earlier and there was no answer, or maybe she left it in the truck. Then I called the farmhouse but got the answering machine. I’m sure she’ll be back by morning.”

  Morning would be too late. It would mean another twelve hours of pain for the suffering horse. Fez was a valuable horse; insurance and other legal considerations had to be weighed in making a decision. They needed a veterinarian there, and on a Saturday night there was no way they could get anybody but Judy. Now they couldn’t get Judy, either.

  “Paget’s Pride?” Stevie asked. “Isn’t that on River Road?”

  “That’s the one,” said Alan.

  Stevie knew it. It was on a road she’d taken many times on the way to Phil’s house. It was perhaps half an hour away; then it would take some time to find Judy and the owner with the mare in foal, and another half hour to come back. The soonest Judy could be at Pine Hollow would be an hour and a half, but that was a lot sooner than the next morning.

  “Thanks,” Stevie said. “I’ll go over there. If you hear from her, let her know we’ve got an emergency here at Pine Hollow.”

  “Fez?” Alan asked.

  “Yes, Fez,” Stevie said.

  “She was afraid of that.”

  “We all were.”

  She hung up and hurried back to the stall, where she saw the foursome struggling to get Fez on his feet.

  “Judy’s over at a farm on River Road and she’s not near her phone. I’ll go get her. Carole, I’ll take your car.”

  At that moment Carole’s hands were occupied with supporting and patting Fez’s head.

  “Right-hand pocket,” she said.

  Stevie slid her hand into the pocket and found the keys.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she said.

  “Good,” said Max.

  Stevie slid into the car, leaving the door open until she had the key in the ignition. She’d driven Carole’s car before. She’d driven lots of cars before. She knew what she was doing … or did she?

  The last time Stevie had driven a car, three people had nearly died. One was still recovering. And the horse … the horse. The horse was dying now. It would soon be over for him. It was Stevie’s fault. She’d done it. She’d been driving. If only she’d managed to get the wheel a little more to the right—or had it been the left? If she’d hit him more in the center, would that have—

  It didn’t matter. She couldn’t change it. She could only help him now.

  She turned the key in the ignition. The engine came to life. Judy, Judy, I have to get to Judy, she told herself. Fez needs her.

  She shifted the car into gear, realizing as she did it that she was back in the saddle. She was driving again.

  FIFTEEN

  Stevie found Judy at her truck in the driveway of Paget’s Pride. Judy had overseen the birth of a healthy colt that was now taking his first meal of mare’s milk. As soon as Stevie said, “Fez,” Judy said, “You follow me. I’m less likely to get a ticket.”

  Stevie trailed the two red taillights along the country roads and across the highway. She was glad it was a clear night, because Judy was driving fast indeed, hovering just above the speed limit.

  In much less time than Stevie had anticipated, the two of them pulled into the driveway at Pine Hollow. Judy paused to pick up her kit from the back of her truck and trailed Stevie into the barn.

  They found the foursome still gathered around the horse. They had managed to get Fez to walk out into the paddock before he had fallen asleep under heavy sedation.

  Emily, Callie, and the Foresters had joined the others. There wasn’t anything to do but watch.

  Ben told Judy what Fez’s vital signs had been a half hour before. Judy checked his current vitals. The news was not good. His fever was up. His breathing was shallow and rapid.

  “This isn’t good,” Judy said, folding her stethoscope. “This horse is very sick, and he’s not going to get better.”

  Callie gasped. It didn’t matter that this was the news that they’d been expecting. Hearing it, finally and absolutely, from Judy meant that she couldn’t hope any longer.

  “Is there anything you can do?” Callie’s father asked. “I mean, if it’s a matter of money …”

  “No, it’s not that,” Judy said, standing up. “We’ve done everything, and then some.” She looked at Ben. “His leg isn’t healing as well as we’d hoped, and now he’s developed an infection. In a way, it’s his body’s way of telling us that he isn’t going to make it. He’s feverish and in a great deal of pain. We can’t allow him to suffer any longer.

  “I have to make some phone calls,” she went on. “There are technical and insurance issues with a horse this valuable. I’ll be about half an hour. He’s resting now with the sedative Max gave him, so at least he’s not in pain.”

  Judy excused herself. Max followed her to his office, where she could use the phone, and Callie’s father went along to help with the legal matters.

  Mrs. Forester gave Callie a
hug.

  “I need to say good-bye to him,” Callie said.

  Ben, Phil, and Carole stepped away from the horse to let Callie get near him. She looked up at her friends and her mother. “By myself,” she said.

  “We’ll be in the locker room,” Carole told her. The group made its way there, leaving Callie alone with the horse she’d hardly had a chance to ride but that she’d loved so much.

  Callie lowered herself onto the straw next to Fez and began patting his face soothingly. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “This hasn’t worked out at all the way we planned it. We were going to be great, you and I. We were going to ride in all the endurance competitions the East Coast had to offer us. We would have been a championship pairing, you know.

  “Now look at us. I can’t do anything right, and you can’t do anything. You’ve worked so hard, suffering so much pain to try to heal. And now it’s over. Your long journey is done; you’re going home where broken legs, shattered hearts, and infections don’t matter. You won’t be in pain anymore. You won’t have to try anymore. You won’t even have to endure anymore. You can rest. Forever.”

  For a moment Fez seemed to understand her. His eyes fluttered open. He saw her, blinked, then closed his eyes again.

  “Rest,” she said again, repeating the word as if it were a mantra, trying to lead the horse to peace with her soft voice and her soothing touch.

  Still whispering to Fez, still patting him softly, Callie leaned back against the smooth boards of the paddock fence. She closed her eyes, letting her tears stream down her cheeks. It was too much. Her hand became still on the horse’s neck. She breathed with him. She slept.

  Carole was the first to reach them. It didn’t surprise her at all to find Callie asleep. Grief was exhausting. Carole put her finger to her lips, and everybody came quietly. Callie’s father crouched next to Callie and took her hand. Her eyes opened.

  “It’s time,” he said. “Do you want to leave?”

  “No, I’ll stay here,” Callie told him. “Fez needs me now more than ever.” She looked up at Judy. “He’s ready,” she said.

  Carole and Stevie had seen horses put down before. It was a horrible thing to have to do, but when it meant keeping the horse from continuing pain, it was the right thing.

  Stevie reached over and took Carole’s hand. She squeezed it. Carole squeezed back. She was awfully glad her friend was there with her. In fact, a lot of friends were there. Carole looked over at the Foresters. Scott had his arm around his mother’s shoulder. Mrs. Forester was wiping a tear from her cheek, surely feeling as much pain for her daughter as she did sadness for the horse. Emily stood next to Max. They exchanged somber glances.

  Ben stood alone. He watched silently. Carole knew he felt sorrow at seeing Fez put down. Anyone who loved horses hated to see that, hated to say good-bye to a friend, especially a friend he’d been looking after. But Fez had been more than a horse friend to Ben. Fez had been his project, his scholarship, his ticket to college.

  “It’s over,” Judy said, standing up. “He’s at peace.”

  SIXTEEN

  Callie stood up then, accepting a hand from Judy. Callie’s mother gave her her crutches.

  “Excuse me,” Callie said, then fled, as fast as her crutches would carry her, to the locker room.

  Emily followed her, and so did the rest of her friends.

  By the time Carole entered the locker room, Callie was crying uncontrollably.

  “He was so brave!” she said, and it was true. Nobody knew that better than Carole and Ben. Carole would forever hold the image in her heart of the horse standing up that afternoon, just because they’d told him to do it, sick and pained as he was.

  “Yes, he was,” Carole said. “And now he doesn’t have to be.”

  “It was all my fault,” Stevie said, sitting down next to Callie on a bench.

  “No, it wasn’t,” Ben said. “And it’s time to stop blaming anyone. It was an accident. You couldn’t help hitting the horse any more than Fez could help running out on the road in terror. There are no winners when a horse gets hit by a car. You three were lucky to escape alive. You’ve all learned things you might never have learned before.”

  “Like how to be crippled?” Callie asked bitterly, and then, ashamed, began to cry harder.

  “Well, yes,” Ben said. “And you’ve learned more about riding by not being able to do it well than you learned when it was easy for you, haven’t you?”

  Callie wiped the tears from her eyes. “You’re looking for silver linings?”

  “Is there something wrong with that?” Ben asked.

  “Well, what was in it for Fez?” she challenged him.

  Carole understood Callie’s bitterness, and nobody there questioned her sharp remark about being crippled. What Carole knew that Callie didn’t was that Fez’s death held another meaning, another disappointment, another sadness for Ben. Her heart ached for him.

  Mrs. Forester came in then. “I know this doesn’t feel much like a party, but we’ve got an awful lot of food and sodas left at our house, not to mention some guests who are waiting for us. I also suspect that there are a few of you who didn’t feel you were judged fairly in the cannonball contest …,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

  One by one they stood up. It seemed right to return to the party. Before they left Pine Hollow, they each stopped to say good-bye to Fez a final time.

  Back at the Foresters’, nobody could pretend to be in a partying mood. People began to drift away until just the Pine Hollow group and the Foresters remained. Scott had brought out a stereo and began playing soft, pleasant music. That helped a little. Callie’s father returned to the grill and began turning out a new batch of ribs and chicken. That helped, too. Stevie and Phil got into the swimming pool, where she climbed up on his shoulders to dive. That also helped.

  Emily sat down next to Callie.

  “Listen, Emily, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” Callie said.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Emily said. “You’re right, you know. There isn’t much to be said for being different the way I always have been and the way you are now but probably won’t always be. The advantage I have over you is that it’s something I was born accepting.”

  “I still shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have, but it’s okay. I understand—probably better than the rest of them do. Anyway, I’m already seeing you make progress. You will heal. You’ll be whole again soon.”

  “You think being normal means being whole?”

  “It’s one way of putting it,” Emily said.

  “Well, then you’re home free because you’re the most whole person I know.”

  “It isn’t easy,” said Emily.

  Callie knew exactly what she meant.

  Around them the party picked up. Ben convinced Carole to climb onto his shoulders in the pool, where she faced off with Stevie on Phil’s shoulders. All four of them ended up in the water.

  After that, Mrs. Forester organized the promised cannonball rematch. There was much discussion about the winner, but ultimately, when they all jumped into the pool at the same time, the winner was declared to be the group.

  Finally, a quiet time. All the ribs and chicken had been eaten, the salads were gone, the chips and soda were fast disappearing. The group spread towels out on the lush grass and talked about things that mattered: friends and horses.

  “I miss Lisa, you know,” said Stevie. “I wish she were here.”

  “So much has happened,” said Carole. “I mean since she left.”

  “Did someone say something about a Lisa?” Congressman Forester asked.

  “She’s our friend,” Stevie explained. “She’s in California for the summer.”

  “Well, she may be in California, but she’s also on the phone,” he said.

  “Here?”

  “Right here,” he said, placing a cordless speaker phone in the middle of the group.

  “Lisa?” Carole ask
ed.

  “It’s me,” Lisa said cheerfully on the other end of the line. “I was talking to Alex and he told me that you all were at the Foresters’, and I thought, I can’t resist that, I’ve just got to call. But I didn’t know I’d be talking to you all at once.”

  “My dad’s a gadget-meister,” Callie said. “If somebody’s invented something electronic, he can’t resist it.”

  “Well, this is cool,” Stevie said. “It’s almost like having you here—”

  “Except we don’t have to share the chicken and ribs with her!” Scott joked.

  “So what’s new?” Carole asked.

  “Not much since I talked to you guys, Carole and Stevie. But for the rest of you, I’m working like crazy—”

  “Right,” Stevie interrupted. “When she isn’t living the glamorous life in the fast lane with the Young Turks of Hollywood.”

  “Give me a break. I hardly ever see them, except when they need their horses—Oops.”

  “What’s oops?” Callie asked.

  “Just a second,” Lisa said. They waited, listening, hearing little except for a slight rumbling in the background and then the crash of a glass.

  “What was that?” Stevie asked.

  “Just a tremor,” said Lisa.

  “You mean like an earthquake?”

  “Yeah, but it was a little thing. They happen all the time out here, only mostly we don’t notice them.”

  “I heard a glass break,” Emily said.

  “I shouldn’t have left it so close to the edge of the table,” said Lisa. “Anyway, that doesn’t matter. I want to know everything that’s going on.”

  “Ben won the cannonball contest,” Carole said.

  “And I bet you two are having fun working together at Pine Hollow, right, Carole?” Lisa asked. “Max is so lucky having both of you.”

  Carole looked over at Ben, wondering if he felt that way at all. Nothing showed in his face, as usual.

  “Ben, Carole told me everything you were doing for Fez. I’m sure you’ll have him up and galloping in no time flat.”

  There was a silence that nobody wanted to fill right then. Carole and Stevie would tell Lisa what had happened when they spoke with her another time.