Twleve Steps

by Veronica Bartles

  I roll my eyes.

  “But now it’s over. She’s made her decision, and there’s nothing to come between us.” He brushes a stray hair out of my face and caresses my cheek.

  I close my eyes and allow the electricity of his touch course through my body for a moment before I pull away. “Why are you here, Jarod?”

  He slides closer and takes my hand. “I told you. Laina chose Shane. You should’ve seen the way her eyes lit up when he asked her to dance. He’s obviously the one she wants. I’ll never be anything but a friend, and it’s time I accepted that. She’s made her choice.”

  I squeeze his hand and take a deep breath before pulling away. “But why are you here?”

  His brow furrows. “Aren’t you even listening? Laina made her choice, and it wasn’t me.”

  He reaches across the table, but I stand up before he can touch me. I step away, putting space between us, and take a slow, deep breath as I clench and unclench my hands. When I have my emotions under control, I try again. “Yes, I hear you. But do you hear yourself?” I lean against the sink. “Laina made her choice. Fine. But why are you here? With me?”

  He stands and gathers me into his arms. “Isn’t it obvious? Now we can be together.” He nibbles my bottom lip playfully. “There’s nothing to come between us anymore.” He traces my cheek with soft kisses and then tightens his arms around me as his lips find mine.

  I groan and turn my head, summoning all of my willpower to push him away. “But have you made your choice?” My heart is racing, and I want nothing more than to melt into him. I’ve been dreaming of this moment for years, but this isn’t how I imagined it. I want him to want me first. I want to be the one he daydreams about. The one he comes looking for when everything is going right, and not just when he needs an ego-boost.

  “I don’t understand.” Jarod cups my cheek in his hand and leans in for another kiss. “What choice is left for me to make?”

  I squirm out of his arms, holding up my hands to keep a safe distance between us. “Stop, Jar. I can’t think clearly when you do that.”

  “Maybe we’ve both been thinking too much.”

  I step away, increasing the distance between us. “I’m serious. I won’t be your rebound girl. I deserve more than to be the one you turn to when you can’t have what you really want.”

  “What if you’re the one I really want?”

  “Answer one question.” I take a deep breath and hold it for a moment before I let it go. “What if Laina came home right now and said she’d made a mistake? What if she realized that she really wants you? She chose Shane, but are you ready to choose me?”

  Jarod lowers his eyes. “That’s more than one question.”

  “And I think you just answered them all.”

  He takes my hand and looks into my eyes. “That’s not fair. How am I supposed to know what might happen? I’ve been in love with Laina for years, but this.” He waves his hand to indicate the space between us. “This is all new to me.”

  “Jarod, I’ve been here all along.”

  “But that’s different. We’re friends. I didn’t expect to fall for you.”

  I sigh. “Why were you so worried that Laina might come home and catch us talking?”

  He drops my hand and sits at the table. His right shoulder lifts in a slow, half-shrug, and he stares into his still-full glass of milk.

  “Is that question too hard? How about this one: Are you willing to stay with me until Laina comes home, so you can tell her that we’re together?”

  He doesn’t look at me.

  I take another deep breath, fighting to keep my voice even. “Have you told any of your friends how you feel about me? Are you willing to be with me in public, instead of stealing kisses when no one is looking?”

  He raises his head, finally meeting my gaze. “I don’t know. Can’t we see where this all goes before—”

  “No, Jar, we can’t!” My voice comes out stronger and louder than I’d intended, and I pause, waiting to see if Mom or Dad will come check on me. When they don’t appear, I sit at the table across from Jarod. I flatten my hands on the cold, wooden surface, gathering strength from the physical barrier between us.

  “I don’t want to be the consolation prize. If I’m not your first choice, I don’t want to be chosen.” I want someone whose eyes light up when I walk into the room. Someone who thinks I’m the blue ribbon. My mind flashes on a pair of rich, chocolate-brown eyes and a smile with an adorable dimple that always makes my stomach flutter.

  “Andi—”

  Jarod reaches for my hands, but I pull away. “Good night, Jarod. Please turn off the light and lock the door when you leave.” I turn and walk out of the kitchen, without waiting for him to respond.

  ***

  I get to school early Monday morning and wait for Dave at his locker. We’ve been avoiding each other since I ditched him at rehearsal a week ago, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him yesterday, and I’m sure he’s missing me too.

  Dave offers me a half-hearted, dimple-less smile as he twirls the combination on his lock, but he doesn’t speak. I clear my throat and take a deep breath, reminding myself not to be nervous. It’s just Dave.

  “So Jarod came over after prom on Saturday night,” I say. “I guess Laina and Shane got together at the dance, and so he was feeling lonely.”

  Dave’s jaw clenches and he yanks a stack of books out of his locker before slamming the door and whirling around to face me. “Can’t you talk to Emily or Summer about this?” he asks. “I’m not really in the mood for a play-by-play of how you and Jarod hooked up.”

  He stalks off down the hall, and I scurry to catch up, grabbing his arm just as we reach the door to first period. “Dave, I told him no. I don’t want to be his back-up girlfriend.” I stare into Dave’s eyes, silently pleading with him to read my mind, the way he’s always done before. “I think I’m falling for someone else.”

  He sighs. “Can we talk about this later, when we’re not almost late for class? I’ll find you at lunch.” And he disappears into the classroom without waiting for my response.

  Emily bounces up to me as the warning bell rings, bubbling over with excitement. She says something about prom and Matthew and her dress. I hear enough to realize that the night went well for her, but I’m only half listening. I keep stealing glances across the room, trying to catch Dave watching me.

  He doesn’t look up from his notebook even once.

  Summer waves her hand in front of my face and snaps her fingers impatiently.

  I look up from the mound of soggy fries I’ve been rearranging on my lunch tray. “Sorry, what did I miss?”

  She glances at my tray. “You haven’t even touched your corndog. Since when do you pass up fried foods?”

  I try to smile, but I can’t keep up the act today. “Just tired, I guess.”

  She points across the cafeteria at Dave, who is walking slowly toward us, balancing his lunch tray on a tall stack of books. “You sure you’re not still upset about a certain someone who didn’t ask you to the prom?”

  My heart skips a beat, but I’m not about to admit anything until I know how he feels. “Nope. Just didn’t sleep well last night.”

  I sit up straight, running my fingers through my hair to smooth the frizz. I arch my back slightly and hold my breath to accent my barely-there curves, and then I glance at Jarod to see if he’s watching.

  He is.

  Dave stops mid-step, his smile fading as he looks at me, then at Jarod and back at me. He dumps his lunch tray into the trash and stomps out of the cafeteria. I consider going after him, but Summer is staring at me like she’s trying to figure out one of life’s great mysteries. And I don’t have the energy to explain it all now.

  Emily drops her tray onto the table and sits down beside Summer. Then she turns to kiss Pete, who slides onto the bench beside her.

  “Wait, what am I missing?” I ask. “Since when are you two together?”

  Summer laughs. “Se
e? This is exactly what I was talking about. It’s like you’re on another planet or something.”

  I glance at the cafeteria doors, through which Dave disappeared. She’s not far off.

  Emily smiles and leans against Pete, who plants tiny kisses on her cheeks and forehead in between bites. “I told you the whole story before first period. Weren’t you listening?”

  I shake my head and frown.

  She sighs. “Long story short, Matthew’s a creep. I was stranded, and Pete saved me.”

  “Wow. I skip one little dance, and I miss out on all the drama.”

  “Speaking of drama,” Summer says, leaning across the table with wide eyes, “what’s the deal with your sister and Shane Crawford? I want all the juicy details.”

  I lean forward. “What do you mean? I didn’t hear about any drama.”

  After Jarod’s visit Saturday night, I’d expected Laina to come bouncing into my room when she came home, to tell me about Shane, but she went straight to bed. And then she totally avoided me yesterday, hiding out in her room with the door locked. She even managed to convince Mom and Dad that she was too sick to go to church, and they let her stay home, even though Mom thinks skipping church is practically one of the seven deadly sins.

  “So what happened?” I ask.

  Pete laughs. “I tried to tell Shane he was wasting his time, but he said he had to prove that he was choosing her over Rachel or something. So he wrote that song.”

  Emily grins. “I wish someone would write a song for me.”

  Pete wraps his arms around her waist and nuzzles her neck. “I’m not much of a writer, but I’ll sing one for you.”

  “Ugh! Get a room,” Summer says.

  I pop a fry into my mouth and grin. It’s kind of nice to see Emily this happy. “Okay, someone fill me in on the details, because Laina didn’t tell me anything.”

  Emily slips into gossip mode, leaning across the table with a wicked grin. “Obviously, I didn’t see everything, because I was trying to get rid of Matthew McGrabby-Hands, who thought it was okay to paw me in the middle of the dance floor, but—”

  “Oh, my Godzilla. It was so romantic,” Summer says. She leans forward, stealing the gossip spotlight from Emily. “So Shane was, like, watching the door, and waiting for her to show up and all, and the poor kid practically had a heart attack when she finally walked in, he was so freaking nervous.”

  “Anyway, so he chickens out,” Emily says, “but luckily, Pete and Rachel got the D.J. to play your sister’s song.” She leans back against Pete’s chest, and Summer jumps back in to pick up the story.

  “Shane asks her to dance, and she says yes, but when the song ends, she rushes over to gush about Adam’s singing, and Shane can’t figure out how to tell her he wrote it.”

  “After all those weeks of work,” Pete says, “she completely blew him off.”

  I roll my eyes. “Well, if she thought Adam wrote the song, how was she supposed to know it was for her?”

  “It was kinda obvious,” Pete says.

  “How obvious? Did it mention her by name?”

  “No, but ‘the girl with the long golden hair’ could only be your sister.”

  “Right. Because there are no other blondes with long hair in the entire school.” Shane totally flubbed his chance again. I swear, I have to write a script for that boy. “So she didn’t catch on that the song was about her. So what? The important thing is they got together right?”

  “Except that’s when she ditched him,” Emily says.

  I shake my head. If she ditched Shane, why was Jarod so sure they’d gotten together?

  Summer shrugs. “Kendra asked him to dance and Alaina said they should.”

  “So Shane and Laina danced one time. And he didn’t tell her that the song was for her, because he expected her to read his mind or something. And then Laina stepped aside for the Witch?” I shake my head. That’s how Kendra operates. She pushes past Laina every time a boy shows interest in my sister. She even managed to worm her way into a relationship with Jarod back in junior high, by convincing him that he could make Laina jealous by pretending to date her best friend. They dated for two years before Jarod realized it wasn’t going to get him any closer to Laina. But Kendra’s managed to twist and manipulate every potential relationship Laina’s had ever since. “Shane should’ve tried again, if he really wanted her. He gave up too soon.”

  Emily leans across the table. Her eyes widen into her you’re-totally-not-gonna-believe-this look and she takes a deep breath. “He tried. But as soon as that second song was over, Laina ran off with Jarod.”

  I swallow hard and pick at the breading on my corndog. This doesn’t sound anything like the story Jarod told me.

  Pete smirks. “They were gone for two full hours.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek and finish dismantling the corn dog. I know exactly what Pete’s thinking, and he’s got a point. It sure doesn’t sound very innocent.

  The bell rings, and my friends jump up. “We need to hang out after school,” Summer calls over her shoulder.

  I shake my head and dump my full tray into the trash can before hurrying after her. “Sorry, we’re going over the big ballroom scene tonight. Extra-long rehearsal, right after school. But can you give me a ride to the theater?”

  Since Dave and I obviously still aren’t speaking, and I’m not ready to face Jarod, I can’t rely on them for transportation.

  I need to figure out what really happened Saturday night.

  ***

  The stage lights sparkle against the elaborate palace ballroom sets. Mrs. Mason gives the signal to begin, and I become Arika, the super-sexy, but tragically misunderstood stepsister, who desperately dreams of catching Prince Charming’s attention and leaving her bleak existence behind.

  When the page announces my arrival, I float down the stairs at the back of the stage, out into the palace with my sister and mother at my sides. Prince Charming bows and kisses our hands before turning to receive the next arrivals. He’s supposed to be bored and politely unresponsive as he greets his guests until Cinderella arrives, but I can’t help noticing the way he watches me in a decidedly un-bored way.

  “Let’s pause for a moment,” Mrs. Mason says. She jumps up onto the stage and crosses to the assembly of lords and ladies filing past the prince. “I like this, Jarod. It’s exactly what I mean when I say you should embrace your character.” She smiles at us all, and then returns her focus to Jarod. “But I’d like to see you really play up the twist. Let’s make it obvious, so the audience won’t miss it.”

  Mrs. Mason turns to Kathy and Rebekah, the girls playing my mom and sister. “Rebekah, you were standing directly between Andi and the audience on the left side of the theater, so at least half of our audience wouldn’t have caught on to the building tension. I need you to stand here instead.” She moves Rebekah upstage, away from the audience, and brings me forward, half a step closer to Jarod. “There. Much better.”

  Jarod frowns and runs his fingers through his hair. He clears his throat and raises his hand. “Um, what do you want me to do?”

  Mrs. Mason smiles. “I like your interpretation, but give us a little bit more. Of course Prince Charming might be attracted to other girls before he meets Cinderella. And I love that you’ve chosen her wicked stepsister to tempt him. But remember, live theater isn’t about subtleties. The audience may not catch the twist unless you really play it up.”

  She grabs my hand and pulls me forward. “Jarod, when you bow and kiss the stepsisters’ hands, let’s have you address stepsister number two first, and then when she steps out of the way, you turn your full attention to Andi. That look you gave her was absolutely perfect, but remember, only the first row or two will see your face. You have to mirror the look in your body language. Take a step toward her. Hold her hand a little too long. Compliment her. Make it obvious when you watch her walk away. By the time you turn to the next person in the receiving line, I want the audience to wonder if Cinderella wi
ll really get the prince in the end.”

  “We’re working with a classic everyone loves,” Curtis says, “but if we want our performance to stand out, we have to give them a reason to really root for ol’ Cindy.”

  Jarod nods and steps closer to me. He reaches for my hand, but I step back.

  “Won’t that make Prince Charming, look like a jerk?” I ask. “If he’s flirting with me and then dumps me for my sister? The prince shouldn’t be a player.”

  “You’ve got a valid point,” says Mrs. Mason. “He should be a real person.” She studies the crowd of assorted extras. “Let’s see … you, you, and you.” She pulls three other girls out of the crowd. “Jarod, most of the girls who parade past you in this scene will be nothing more than boring faces in the crowd. But I’d like you to take a half-second to really look at these girls before you dismiss them.” She waits until everyone nods, before she continues. “And when Andi comes in, I want the whole auditorium charged with sexual tension. You are really attracted to her. She’s beautiful. But it’s more than that. You feel a connection to her that defies propriety and protocol. And poor Cinderella may have missed her chance with you, because you’re totally smitten.”

  I giggle. Who says “smitten” anymore?

  “That should be easy.” Jarod squeezes my hand, and my heart skips a few beats before racing to catch up.

  “Good. Let’s try it.” Mrs. Mason glances over her shoulder. “Curtis? Do we need to change entrances?”

  “Not much,” he says. “Andi, I’d like you to come in the way we’ve rehearsed. But Jarod, once Andi catches your attention, you’ll bow and smile without even acknowledging the other girls. Keep your eyes focused on Andi. She might be the one you’ve been waiting for all along.”

  Jarod nods. “She is.”

  Curtis smiles and turns his attention to the rest of the cast. “I want to go straight from introductions into the dance. We’ll cut the dialogue between the king and queen. Prince Charming will pass from girl to girl, dancing with everyone for a few seconds, but save stepsister number one for last.”