Deadly Past

by K. L. Humphreys

  After I close the front door, I walk into the sitting room and sink into the sofa. The thought that Sabine was right, he’s going to break my heart crosses my mind again. I think I’m starting to get feelings for him. No, that is wrong. I know I have feelings for him. It doesn’t seem to affect him at all when he leaves, but all I want to do is beg him to stay.

  I will continue making myself believe that this is two people using each other to relieve tensions and just having fun. It’s the only way I can sort of protect myself.

  Chapter Three

  Two Months Later

  Luke

  I’m a bastard, and I am going to hell. I do this every time, and I can’t seem to stop it. Once we are finished, I either leave or tell her to leave. I watch her eyes slam shut with the words “It’s time to go,” “I’ll see you soon, babe,” or “Tomorrow?” I’ve been around law enforcement long enough to see the second she goes into cop mode.

  Morgan Yates has mastered the cop persona. Her body goes rigid, and her eyes become void of all emotion. I know she has feelings for me, and I’m a prick because I can’t or won’t let her go. But I refuse to entertain the notion of having another relationship.

  Do I feel remorse for what I’m doing? No. This is the way it has to be, and she knows that by now. Hell, it’s what we both agreed to. I made it very clear the night she snuck out of my bed that if she wanted a repeat of that night, it would be casual or nothing. I think back to the morning after that night we spent together - when I woke up to discover her gone.

  ***

  I walk up the steps to the courthouse and see her standing there. The anger that has been building inside me since I discovered she snuck out of my bed is slowly diminishing as I watch her talking with her partner. She will be getting her ass spanked for that stunt. She must sense me because she turns and her eyes widen when she sees me walking towards her. I watch as she quickly masks her face into an expression utterly void of all emotion. I hate how she can pull the cop face so seamlessly.

  At my approach, her body goes rigid. It’s obvious she doesn’t know what to expect from me. I’m not a complete asshole; I wouldn’t air what happened between us in front of everyone.

  “Dallas, Morgan was telling me about the breakthrough you made last night. Do you think it will work?” Detective Jones asks me, with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

  “Only time will tell, Jones. I’ve spoken to the girls’ mother, and they have both agreed to testify if need be. So, let’s wait and see what today brings. I just hate sitting and watching the smugness on Mills’ face, like he thinks this is a joke and he will walk away.” I shake my head trying to get rid of the anger bubbling up inside of me every time I think of this case and the abuse these girls have suffered at the hands of Robert Mills.

  Jones nods and walks off leaving Morgan and me alone. “You left without saying a word?”

  I’m baffled and pissed at her, and I’m not hiding it very well.

  “Yeah, well, I needed to go home and get a shower so I could be in court on time.” She acts like it’s not a big deal and I don’t know how to take it. I'm not used to chasing women; I’m the one that is usually pursued.

  “Damn, Morgan. I don’t know how to do this. Look, last night was great, and I want to do it again.” I take a deep breath and watch as her eyes flash with confusion, but again, she quickly masks her emotions.

  “I don’t do relationships, so it has to be casual. Exclusive, but casual. What do you say?” I sound like an asshole, but I don’t have the time or inclination to care. We will be called in at any moment, and I need her answer.

  “Sure, I can do casual.” She sounds nonchalant, and I like that. This could work out perfectly.

  “I’ve got to go, we’ll talk later, Dallas,” she says then turns on her heels and walks off towards Jones, her ass swaying as she does.

  ***

  She came to my house that night, and we’ve seen each other almost every night since then. But today feels different. She’s been on edge since I walked through her front door and her face is blank.

  I hate it.

  “Morgan, is everything okay? Did something happen at work?” Asking about our cases isn’t an unusual occurrence for us. We can’t always get into specifics, but we can talk about the ones we have in common.

  “Nothing happened at work. Why do you think that?” I’m confused by her defensive posture and clipped speech. She’s usually engaging and talkative.

  “So, what’s wrong?” I ask, genuinely concerned.

  “Nothing, honestly. It’s close to that time of the month. I’m starved, are you hungry?” Just like that and she’s back to her usual self.

  “Yeah, actually I am. What are we ordering?” Neither of us is a great cook, and with the jobs we both have, take-out is the easiest.

  “Chinese!” is her instantaneous answer.

  “Okay, I’ll call Bamboo Restaurant. Do you want the Pork Dumplings and Kung Pao Beef?” I register the shock in her eyes.

  “Yes, please.” I don’t know why she is so shocked, she orders the same thing every time we order there. That and the fact she’ll also have some of whatever I’m having.

  I call Bamboo and order Pork Dumplings and Kung Pao Beef for her and Spicy Garlic Chicken Wings and Szechuan Style Shredded Chicken for me. Morgan comes out of the kitchen with two beers and hands me one of them. It’s just what I needed after a shit day like today.

  Following her to the sitting room, I discard my suit jacket on the back of the couch and take a seat. She’s sitting in the armchair, legs crossed almost like she is meditating.

  “Why are you staring at me?” she asks. The question catches me off guard because her face is turned towards the television.

  “How do you know I’m staring? You’re not even looking at me!” I always pick on her like this because it gets her all riled up. She gets annoyed because I should know that being a cop means it’s ingrained in her DNA to know these things.

  “Luuuuuke!” she whines with a hint of a smile. She turns to me, smile fully on display now.

  “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to make me mad, but it won’t work.” Her eyes alight with humor. With that, she folds her arms over her breasts and turns toward the television with that smile still on her face.

  We sit in silence as we watch CSI Miami. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this episode before. Sophia and Winter loved this series when they were growing up, and I don’t think they ever missed an episode. That reminds me; I haven’t spoken to Winter in a while. I wonder if she’s still in Maui.

  Winter is best friends with my sister, Sophia, and has been since they were in Kindergarten. I didn’t think that would ever change. However, when Sophia came home after being discharged from the Army, something did change - Winter up and moved to Maui. The only thing she said was she needed a change.

  Soph is in contact with her regularly, and I message her from time to time, just to check in.

  I pull out my phone and text Winter.

  Me: Hey Wints, how are you?

  She replies instantly, and I smile because it’s a typical Winter answer.

  Winter: Hey you! I’m good, swamped with work. I forgot how much I hated Princess themed sweet sixteen’s. How are you?

  Me: I’m good Wints, same old same old. Do you know when you’ll be coming home? I haven’t seen you in a while. I’m sure Dad would like to see you too.

  Winter: Low blow Luke! Low Blow. Honestly, I don’t know when I’ll be back. I miss you guys like crazy, though.

  Me: Okay, keep in touch though, yeah?

  Winter: Yeah okay, got to go, talk soon. Bye Luke

  Me: Stay safe Wints.

  Dad has always treated Winter like his daughter since the day Soph brought her home and told him she was her ‘best friend forever and ever’. She was in our house more than her own while we were growing up. Her mother wasn’t the greatest, so Mom and Dad provided her with some semblance of a family life.

  Thi
nking about it makes me think of my mom. It’s been a while since I’ve been to her grave, so I should really make time to go check on it. My Mom died from cancer just over ten years ago. It hit all of us hard, but Sophia took it the hardest. She withdrew and then joined the Army. I realize now that it was her way of coping.

  When she left, it felt like she was abandoning us. Instead of being proud that my little sister wanted to do something she strongly believed in and become part of the military, I got pissy. Don’t get me wrong, my sister is kickass, and I’m so freaking proud of her. She has been through hell and back and I’m in awe of her.

  “Everything okay?” Morgan’s words pull me from thinking of Soph.

  “Yeah, just thinking of Soph,” I say with a sigh as I put my phone back into my pocket.

  I watch as her eyes crinkle up and see the moment disappointment settles in them. We don’t talk about personal things, ever.

  “Luke–” she starts, just as the doorbell rings. I watch as she shakes her head and stands up, reaching for her purse as she goes.

  “I’ve got it, Morgan,” I tell her making my way to the front door.

  I wonder what she was going to say?

  I open the door and take the food off a pimple-faced teenager who looks bored with life. I hand him the money and tell him to keep the change. I turn and walk back into the sitting room to find Morgan has been to the kitchen and gotten us fresh drinks and forks. She has a thing about no plates with take-out. She says they come in containers for you to eat out of. You won’t hear me complain about not having dishes to wash.

  Morgan doesn’t even acknowledge me when I come into the room.

  “Morgan? You okay?” She seems different today, but I can’t quite put my finger on how.

  She blinks as if she’s coming out of a daze. “Huh? What?”

  “Are you okay? You seem kind of distracted.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m okay. I’m just getting a headache. I’m going to have a bath after I eat and then have an early night,” she tells me, still not really looking at me.

  “Okay. Do you need any Tylenol?”

  What am I supposed to do? I know I usually get chocolates for Soph when it’s her time of the month. I hate feeling helpless.

  I see the shock in her eyes when I ask her, and I feel a tightening in my chest.

  “No, thank you I’ll be fine after a good night’s sleep. How’s the Chinese?” she asks, as she puts some Kung Pao Beef into her mouth. I realize I haven’t touched any of mine. I start to eat while watching her mindlessly eat, almost as if she’s on autopilot. I hope it is just a headache, and nothing serious is bothering her.

  We sit in silence and eat. She’s still acting weird, and I’m beginning to feel like I shouldn’t be here. So, I figure I may as well leave and let her have some alone time. We’ve seen each other almost every day, so she’s probably due some.

  Once I finish my takeout, I throw the trash out and look at her, still sitting in her trance-like state.

  “Morgan,” I call her name, not quietly but not real loud either. I wait for a response and get none.

  “Morgan,” I say a little louder, walking towards her. Still no response from her. I stand directly in front of her and try once more. “Morgan!”

  She jumps, and for the first time in almost half an hour, she looks me in the eyes. “Oh, sorry, did you say something?” she asks, but I can tell she’s still not entirely with me at this moment.

  “Yeah, I said something. I called your name three times before you responded. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Something shifts in her eyes, but she shuts it out quickly. “Yeah, Luke. It’s just this headache is getting worse. I think I may skip the bath and just go straight to bed.”

  “Okay, I’m going to go so you can get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow after work. Just try to relax a little, okay?” She nods, so I turn and leave. I think I hear her sigh, but I can’t be sure.

  ***

  I get out of the shower and walk back towards my room. I can hear the snores coming from Scott’s room. I don’t know how he manages to fall straight to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

  As I near my bedroom door I hear my phone ringing. I quicken my pace and I search the bed as I walk towards it. I look at my cell and see UNKNOWN CALLER on the screen. I reach down and pick it up, answering as I put it to my ear.

  “Hello?” I say as politely as I can manage. I’m beat, and all I want to do is collapse on my bed and sleep for a week.

  “Luke? Please don’t hang up,” I hear her say, and I have the urge to do just that. “Please, just hear me out.”

  “Alex, I thought I told you not to call me. How many times do I have to tell you I have absolutely nothing to say and there is not one thing you have to say that I want to hear!”

  Damn, this bitch calling me is just what I need. I honestly have no idea what she wants from me. I’ve said all I need to and her calling from an unknown number just shows how devious she really is.

  “I know, but I miss you. Luke, I never should have done what I did. I was so stupid. I was young, naive and only wanted to please my mom. In the end, all I did was ruin everything and I lost the man I loved in the process. I really did love you, Luke. In fact, I still do. I hope we can try and make things right between us. I want you back.” She’s crying as she talks, but I don’t feel a thing.

  “You want to make things right between us? You are never going to be able to do that. You used my brother and me. You were sleeping with both of us at the same time, without our knowledge or permission. Because of you, my relationship with my brother was rocky for years. You also tried to hurt my sister. There is absolutely nothing you can do or say to make up for that. Scott and Sophia are the most important people in my life, and there is no way you will ever come between us again. So, I do not care that you loved me or if you think you still do, or that you want me back. It is never going to happen. I want nothing to do with you, and if you call me again, I’ll contact the police. Stay the hell away from my family and me, Alex. I mean it.” I hang up before she has the chance to say anything else.

  The nerve of that woman calling me again. I hate that woman more than anyone in my life. I really hope she got the message. She caused enough damage to this family once, and she won’t get the chance to do it again.

  Chapter Four

  Morgan

  I’m just home from work, and I swear there are days I wish I had gotten a nice cushy job. I go to the freezer and grab an ice pack and place it over my eye, damn it hurts. I was stupid; I let the guy get the jump on me. Thank god for my reflexes. Otherwise, it could have been worse. I have a while before Sabine comes, so I jump into the shower, hoping to clear my head, it’s been messed up for a while, that is why I was so stupid today.

  Luke. He’s been playing on my mind constantly, we’ve been ‘friends with benefits’ for two months now, it’s more benefits and less friends. What have I turned into? Who have I become? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but they started when I started this thing.

  I’m in love with him, and I can’t keep denying my feelings. That and I can’t keep having him treat me as though I don’t count, as though I’m a prostitute. Except I don’t get paid. I have feelings, and I’ve pretended far too long now that they don’t matter.

  Yes, being with Luke is exceptional, but I’m not really with him. I hardly know him, and that is the way he wants to keep it. I have had enough of coming in second place. I can’t and won’t take it anymore. I can't keep focused. My feelings are getting in the way. Yesterday I almost ended it all, I am so off my game. But it has to happen and if he can't or won't change the dynamics of this so-called relationship, then I have to walk away.That's what I'm afraid of. How do you walk away from the man you love?

  I got out of the shower and dried myself and my hair. I hate having wet hair. My long brown hair is wild enough when tamed, leaving it wet is like feeding fuel to the fire. The only problem with dr
ying my hair is the length of time it takes, I swear I feel as though I need another shower once I’m finished, because my hair is so long and so heavy, it’s like I’ve run a marathon.

  I walk over to my closet and look for something to wear. I want something sexy yet subtle, something that will show Luke what he will be missing if he doesn’t want to change, but not something that screams sex as I don’t want him to think that I’m just there for sex. As much as I would want to, I won’t let myself, because if I do, I know that I won’t be able to say what I want too.

  I pull on my denim shorts and a tank top. It shows off my curves and my long legs, but it’s casual and looks great. I hear a knock on my front door, and I know Sabine’s here. I need my best friend. She’s a straight shooter, she pulls no punches and is just what I need.

  I open the front door before she bulldozes through it. She’s five foot three with a blonde pixie cut - she’s like a fairy, and she acts like one the way she flies around always busy doing something.

  “About time, what took you so long?” She says with a big huff as if she’s out of breath. Like she had to wait more than three minutes for me to open the door for her. She left her key here when she was here yesterday.

  “I was getting dressed if that is okay with you?” I say as sarcastically as I can, I watch as she fights the smile trying to come through.

  “Why yes, your laziness I suppose it’s okay. Holy shit! What the hell happened to your eye?”

  Oh, she finally looked at my face.

  “I don’t want any of your smart responses. Damn Moy, are you okay? It looks like you went a full round with Tyson.” She looks so worried.

  “A man we were interviewing for my case didn’t like the question I asked him, I let my guard down, I was so stupid. I should have seen it coming. And what do you mean a full round? Are you trying to say that I could only last one round?” I ask trying to get her to laugh and not to have that pitiful look on her face.