To Ocean's End

by S. M. Welles

  “Hello?” Ed called tentatively as more light poured in. His face was blocked from view by the storage cabinet. She could only see the rod shaking and the wall on the far side. The rod rose to the rope holding up the curtain, then slid in a little farther.

  It was enough to grab a handful. Jessie snatched and yanked it. Ed let out a girly scream, making Ted scream as well. Ed let go of the rod. A series of thuds followed, and then laughter sounded from the floor.

  Jessie had to fight back a smile. Even though she didn’t want anything to do with them, they were still amusing.

  “She got us good!” Ed said between breaths.

  “She got you; not me.”

  “You screamed, too.”

  “Because you screamed.”

  “Yeah, right!”

  “Fine, fine. You win. But you’re still down a stick.”

  “I know, but we can’t just leave her.”

  “No.”

  Ed paused, then said, “Hun, please talk to us.” He sounded emotionally hurt.

  “Please?” Ted said in the same heartbreaking tone.

  Jessie heaved a resigned sigh, then rolled towards the head of the bed and lifted the curtain. She did her best to wear a neutral expression. As much as she wanted to be left to the safety of solitude, she yearned for some decent friendship. And since these two were more like women with male equipment, they were hardly a threat.

  Ed and Ted were sitting in the hall with their legs stretched through the doorway. They beamed at the sight of her.

  “Hello, Miss Jessie,” Ted said. “May we come in?”

  Jessie sighed again, then stuck her torso out and lowered the rod as far as she could before letting go. It bounced a few times before settling against the bunks. She slunk back into her bunk and pushed aside the curtain.

  Both men got to their feet and cautiously drew closer. Ed, who was in front, said, “Promise you won’t hurt us?”

  She nodded, gripping the raised edge of the bunk so they could see her hands.

  Ed drew within punching range but Jessie felt no need to start swinging. He said, “May I give you a hug?” She thought a moment, then nodded again. He stuck his arms and head inside and pulled her into a tight hug.

  The hug felt so good, so… so much like her father’s good night hugs. The same reaching in, the same arm and head placement, and the same love-filled squeeze. But that man and those hugs were gone. Her fond memories got strangled by the memory of watching him die. His love-filled smile morphed into open-mouth shock as he collapsed. A sob escaped her.

  “I’m coming in,” Ed said in a tone that brooked no argument. He slid past her and wedged himself between her and the wall, then slipped an arm under and and pulled her back into a hug. She held on tight as he nuzzled his chin on top of her head.

  Strangely, she didn’t feel in the least bit threatened.

  Ted bent down and planted a kiss on Jessie’s cheek and placed a hand on top of hers. She flinched. “Oh, hun, you can’t let that guy get to you like this. He’s just an arrogant jerk.”

  “It wasn’t that.”

  “Oh?”

  She turned to her cuddler. “Ed or Ted?”

  “Ed.”

  “You just—” Her throat tightened. The memory was so powerful. “You hug just like my dad used to.” More tears came out. She stifled her sobs as best she could.

  “Aw.” Ed squeezed her again. “How long ago and what happened?”

  “Two years. Quasi-children.”

  Both men sucked in air through their teeth. Ted said, “The world we live in nowadays…”

  “Yeah,” Ed said. “I’m sorry to hear.”

  “It’s okay,” she said softly. “The hugs are good memories.”

  “Well then I’ll hug you plenty,” he said, giving her a gentle shake.

  Jessie smiled. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome, Jessie.”

  “Amphitrite. I’m from Cyprus. ‘Jessie’ is just a nickname that’s easier for people to say. I prefer my real name but the captain wants me to go by ‘Jessie’ instead.”

  “Did he say why?”

  “No, but I’m too scared to disobey him.”

  Ted leaned closer. “We can call you Amphitrite when no one else is around.”

  “Works for me.”

  Mido appeared in the doorway with the new techies’ swords and duffle bags. He looked quite shocked and overburdened. He tried popping a smile but it came off as more of a grimace. “Hi,” he said. “I heard a commotion and shouting. I…” He paused. “I guess everyone’s okay.” His pale blue eyes found Jessie’s. “Jessie, who are these guys? I thought you—”

  Ted popped to his feet. “I’m Ted and that’s my partner Ed.” He pointed to Ed, then shook hands with Mido. “We’re your new techies.”

  “Oh.” He set the bags and swords down. His gaze fell on Jessie, then on Ed and he narrowed his eyes a little. “Mido. The ship cook.”

  “Oh wonderful!” Ed said. “Lemme know if you ever need any help in the galley. I love cooking.”

  Ted turned on him. “Ed, you keep your sooty hands out of everyone’s food! You never taste test when you experiment.”

  “Fine, fine.”

  Mido said, “And Jessie, you need to stick with your nickname while on this ship.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “It’s—” Mido glanced up and down the hall, then took a step into the room. “Your name’s from Greek mythology.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s… it’s—look, I don’t care but I’m gonna stick with calling you Jessie so I don’t accidentally slip—but your given name is linked to a stupid sailor superstition, so you’re better off doing as the captain says, okay?”

  “Okay. I’ve caused enough trouble just by being here.”

  Mido took a step closer and put his hands on his knees. “Don’t listen to Jacobi or Cancer. Jacobi’s just a douche bag with some issues of his own, and Cancer is crazy superstitious. Even Dyne makes fun of him for some of the things he does to avoid bad luck.”

  Ted said, “Yeah, hun. Listen to Mido. He’s one of the smart ones.”

  “And handsome ones,” Ed said. “Mm-mm! You got some nice arms there.”

  Mido straightened up, his expression caught between shock and a frown.

  Ted waved a hand. “Oh relax. We’re harmless.”

  The cook thought a moment, and then realization dawned on him. “Oh, that’s what you meant by ‘partner!’”

  “Mhm.”

  He started cracking up. “This is gonna be so much fun. Sauna’s gonna have a blast working with you two.”

  “Why? He’s straight.”

  “Right. And you guys aren’t. He—” Mido backed up and check the hallway again. His grin widened. “The crew and I would be indebted to both of you if you could find a way to make him pick more secluded places to entertain himself. Sorry, Jessie.”

  “That’s so gross!” she said, wrinkling her nose.

  Mido shrugged. “We’re guys. We spend most of our lives at sea.”

  “Oo!” Ted said. “Maybe we should play matchmaker!”

  “We should,” Ed said. “Jessie, what do you think of Mido? He’s a handsome gentleman. Needs a new tank but it’s hard to find a pair of arms like his.”

  Mido studied Jessie like he was considering the match. He popped a nervous smile and ran a hand through his black hair.

  Ted said, “Aw, we made him blush. There you go, Jessie. Give him a whirl!”

  Jessie retreated lower in Ed’s arms and stiffened up. She didn’t want to contemplate getting in bed with another man for a long time.

  Hurt played across Mido’s face but it was replaced with empathy when he saw her cringe. “Guys, she’s been through a lot lately. I don’t think matchmaking is a good idea.”

  Ted said, “I’m sorry. I forgot. Sauna mentioned something but he didn’t stick around to give us details.” He turned to Jessie. “May we asked what happened?”

&
nbsp; Jessie’s stomach churned. She didn’t want to talk about it but she didn’t see the point in not explaining things. Even though none of them were a threat to her, it was still hard to talk about what happened. She felt like soiled and damaged goods, less of a woman, dirty, a reject, refuse. She’d been taken and abused in ways no woman should ever experience. What decent guy would want to bother with her now? She took a deep breath and summarized her last two years with Tethys, doing her best to not use the “r-word” to describe events.

  Everyone fell silent. Ed squeezed her reassuringly.

  Ted said, “Hun, you need to get up so I can hug you.”

  Ed released her and gave her an encouraging nudge. She’d been so comfy and cozy, however she wouldn’t deny her new friend a hug. She slipped off the bunk. Ted picked her up in a hug and lifted her feet off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. She felt a fresh wave tears wanting out, but she held them down. This treatment was overwriting her expectation that no one would want to touch her ever again. Ted set her down.

  Mido looked at her with sympathy wrinkling his brow. He held out his arms. “You don’t have to if it’d make you too uncomfortable, but I’d love to give you a hug as well.”

  Jessie hesitated. She took in his broad chest and strong arms, his gentle eyes and handsome face. All of it reminded her of all the crap she’d been through. Still, this was a different ship with a different captain and a totally different atmosphere. She tentatively reached for him and took a step forward, then another. A third brought them terrifyingly close. Mido tried to reach his arms around but stopped when she whimpered. Her eyes welled with tears.

  Mido said, “Need me to stop?” No anger or frustration was in his expression or voice. Instead he radiated empathy.

  “Please.”

  Jessie backed into Ted and he wrapped her in his arms. He said, “I still see their potential. We’ll give it time.”

  Dyne appeared in the doorway. “Is everyone more or less alright?”

  “Yeah, we got this, Captain.”

  “Alright then. Carry on.” He turned around and left.

  Mido cleared his throat, then spoke to everyone. “I gotta go. I was only stopping by to drop off your stuff. We’ve got two crew members to cremate before the storm rolls in. Jessie, remember: nickname only. And don’t let stupid get to you. We’ve got your back.” He smirked. “Especially if you’re busy being our bodyguard.”

  “Bodyguard?” Ed said.

  Mido pointed to the bruise on his cheek. “This is from her,” he said with a guilty grin.

  Ted said, “How many of you did she beat up?”

  “Just me, Dyne, and Scully, and she sucker-punched Sauna.” Ed and Ted laughed. “All in one day.” The two laughed harder.

  “What a hoot!” Ed said, getting up.

  Mido bid them farewell as he headed off.

  “How did you land that job?” Ted asked.

  “I haven’t actually accepted it yet.”

  Ed said, “You should! You’d be great. We’d love to have you as our bodyguard.”

  “Not everyone feels that way.”

  “Oh don’t worry about them. Captain Dyne looks like he’s got good control of his crew. You’ll do great.”

  Even with her new friends and their encouragement, she still wasn’t sure. It’d be nice to feel useful for more reasons than having a vagina, but body-guarding a strange group of men? She guessed she could survive doing the job long enough to pay off her boots and clothes. “I’ll think about it. Let me get used to the idea.”

  * * *

  I headed to the galley for a pretzel snack. I needed something crunchy to work off my stress. Seeing Mido and Jessie had been great but it didn’t change the fact that chewing out the head dockworker had been a waste of time. Lawsuits and such weren’t worth the effort for skippers like me. I’d make less money trying to win a case than if I’d stick to my delivery schedule. I was better off never touching this dock again.

  Mido caught up with me as I was perusing the pantry full of slow-to-expire snacks. “Captain,” he called out, then lowered his voice. “Is there anyone else around?”

  “No. Everyone’s on the docks collecting pellets or helping Cancer.”

  Mido joined me in the pantry. “I just wanted to warn you that Jessie told Ed and Ted her real name.”

  “Did they—?”

  “No. No one knows about your curse but those of us who’ve been with you a while. So that makes everyone but those three. I warned her to use her nickname. I lied to her, though. Said her name gave rise to superstition.”

  “You only partially lied.”

  Mido took a deep breath and exhaled. “Right. I’ve got your back no matter what. I want you to be free of your curse as much as you do.”

  “I appreciate it. I’m taking her to Cyprus; however, we need to find a way to convince her to stay. I can’t in good conscience hold her hostage like Tethys.”

  “I understand. How long do you think you’ll wait until you tell Jessie and the others?”

  I knew he meant telling them about my curse. “I’d rather wait until the last minute, but I think we have a better chance of Hell nuking itself to pieces. I’m pretty sure questions will be flying after my next lockdown.”

  * * *

  Jersey and Mike were cremated and returned to us in jars by dinnertime. Mido and I did the honors of carrying our fallen comrades back to the ship. We didn’t speak the entire trip back.

  There were burger joints all over the port but I was too depressed to grab one.

  Shortly after we returned to the ship, Mido started on dinner and I navigated us out to sea under a cloudy sunset. Our departure gave me one less worry, but only one, and the smallest one to boot. The hurricane was nothing compared to the dissent Jacobi and Jessie would cause. Every last one of my crew was loyal to me, even Jacobi. However, they all had their breaking points.

  * * *

  Rammus was on the wheel while I joined my crew to dinner. Mido had cooked up penne noodles with garlic butter sauce, herb-roasted chicken chopped up and thrown in, spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. Jacobi was confined to his bunk for at least a week, so meals would be peaceful for a while. Cancer acted like his usual quiet self. He’d even politely nodded to Jessie and said “madam” when they crossed paths on the way to the galley. It was clear he wanted nothing to do with her, so he was going about his business as if she wasn’t there, and without going out of his way to be rude or spread his dislike to others. More than good enough.

  Everyone but Jessie, Mido, and O’Toole were seated at the table. Ed and Ted had tried to coax her and her fold-up chair over but she’d firmly declined.

  “I’m not ready,” she admitted. I admired her courage to admit that much. “However, Captain, I’ll take the job.”

  “Very good. Welcome to the Pertinacious.”

  Ed and Ted high-fived and I saw Mido grinning away over a huge tray of toasted bread. He’d turned an entire loaf into cheesy garlic bread.

  “What job?” Cancer asked politely, then took a sip of coffee.

  “Bodyguard,” I said.

  The doc barely managed to swallow his sip before going into a coughing fit. Sam and Sauna patted his back until he caught his breath. “That’s a new one,” he said. He raised an eyebrow at Jessie.

  Scully said, “Just give her an oar and we’ll all be plenty safe.”

  Everyone but Cancer, Jessie, and I laughed. Cancer pursued his lips and shrugged.

  Scully said, “Aw, lighten up, doc.”

  He let out an old man grunt. My men laughed again, then let him be.

  Mido held out a mountain of cheesy garlic toast to O’Toole and Jessie. They each took a slice, and then all that cheesy garlic goodness was set in the middle of the table. Ten hands shot out in an opportunistic free-for-all. In the few seconds it took Mido to return with the five-gallon pot of dinner, the bread plate had nothing but crumbs and butter smears on it. He set t
he pot down with a thump. “Aw, come on, guys. You forgot to leave some for me and Jacobi.”

  My men laughed again and even Cancer smiled. Ed and Ted partook in all this like they’d been here for years. Good. They were fitting in nicely. On top of that, they were wooing Jessie into sticking around. Very good.

  Chapter 9

  Ashes and Sneakers

  The humor died shortly after dinner. We had nothing left to distract us from the hardest part of our dangerous lives. I sailed out for a good hour before forcing myself to shift into neutral and call everyone to the stern.

  It was dark out; just a few clouds, ample stars, and no moon. We’d escaped the clouds for now. The stars being out while we freed their ashes would bring good luck to their dearly departed souls. I decided to spend stored energy on lights that lined the railing, making the flanks glow like a bottom-dwelling fish. I switched on two flood lights hanging from the corners of the wheelhouse, too. Time to say goodbye to two good men.

  The stern was fifty feet of open deck, interrupted by the weapon crate sitting against the wheelhouse, which rose twenty feet above the deck. Gave me a gull’s-eye view of my ship.

  All of us gathered on starboard side, even Jacobi and Jessie. Cancer and Mido had carried broke-leg boy up. Jessie stood apart from us and near Ed and Ted, her old sneakers dangling from one hand by the laces.

  Sam approached her with four ten-pound weights. He pointed to them. “For you, Jessie, so we can give ‘em a proper burial.”

  “Thanks.”

  He held out a hand. “Mind if I tie ‘em on for yeh?” Make sure they don’t get away.” She handed them over and watched him set to work. With aid of some fishing line, he tied two weights to each sneaker, then connected the sneakers with more line, using the lace holes to hold everything together. He handed over his final product. Jessie took and placed them by her feet. “Now just be patient, miss.”

  “Don’t call me ‘miss,’” she whispered.

  “Oh, that’s right,” he whispered back. “I forgot. Sorry.”

  Everyone but Jessie, Sam, Rammus, and I lined up along the glowing rails. Rammus had a cloth sack slung in front of him. He meticulously handed out a pair of objects to each crew member. Anyone unfamiliar with our funeral ritual might laugh, but every last one of us would beat up the offender without hesitation. The objects were wood sticks, metal pipes, metal rods, a set of spoons, and a a set of drumsticks. Ten pairs in all. Together the objects would create a band of sounds for the drumming my crew was about to tap out. Rammus folded the empty sack and set it by the railing with care.