Come Back to Me

by Chris Paynter

  “Yes.” Meryl glanced at the clock. “My flight leaves in about three hours. I’ll arrive there late, probably around nine-thirty this evening, if there are no delays.”

  “I think it’s time to tell your mother about what happened to you as a child.”

  “I don’t know that I can.” Meryl’s head throbbed at the prospect.

  “Who are you really protecting, Meryl?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just what I asked.”

  “You think I’m protecting the memory of my father?” Her stomach lurched at the suggestion.

  Silence was Robert’s only answer.

  “You think I’m trying to protect myself?”

  He still didn’t answer.

  “Well?”

  “I think you’ve endured a lot these past few months. You’ve come to the truth, but I think you’re afraid you’ll have to delve into this even more with your mother by returning home.”

  “How much deeper am I supposed to delve?” Anger gnawed at her.

  “I never said this would be easy.”

  Meryl gave a sarcastic laugh. “That’s good. Because it’s the most horrific thing I’ve ever experienced.”

  “I’ve told you this during our sessions, but you need to believe me. This will get better. It’s a healing process.”

  “Why is it the tough stuff always takes so long to work through?” Meryl pulled another tissue from the box.

  “Because it’s been buried all these years. See it as digging through layers. You’re almost there, Meryl.”

  Malachi jumped onto Meryl’s lap.

  “My cat’s feeling neglected. I need to pack and ask my neighbor if she’ll watch him while I’m gone.” Meryl hesitated. “Um, about the other day…”

  “Don’t worry about it. You’re not the first patient I’ve had walk out on a session, and you won’t be the last.”

  “And about Angie…”

  “We’ll talk about her when you return. Please know I’ll be thinking about you and your mother these next few days.”

  “Thank you, Robert.”

  “Take care.”

  Meryl scratched behind Malachi’s ears a few minutes before breaking out of her thoughts.

  “Let’s see if Deidre can watch you, boy.”

  His purring increased in volume.

  “Yeah, tell me about it. She feeds you better than I do.”

  * * *

  Meryl’s plane landed on time. She saw Edward standing near the bottom of the escalator.

  “I’ll get a cart for your luggage, Miss Meryl,” he said.

  Meryl touched his arm before he left for the rack. “It’s not needed, Edward. This is all I have.”

  Edward took the bag from Meryl, and they walked out into the muggy air.

  “If you wait here, I’ll bring the car around.”

  Five minutes later, the limo pulled to a stop in front of Meryl. Before she could even put her hand on the backdoor handle, Edward had hopped out. He hurried around the rear of the limo and opened the door for her. She slid onto the plush leather seat.

  “There are refreshments there, Miss Meryl, as always,” Edward said. He closed the dividing window and started the car.

  Meryl debated pouring a drink, but thought better of it. Instead, she rested her head on the seat cushion and closed her eyes. She didn’t realize she’d dozed off until the cessation of motion awakened her.

  Edward opened the door. “I’ll see to your bag.” His chiseled features softened. “It’s good to have you home.”

  “Thank you.”

  The front door opened. The inside light backlit the solitary figure in the doorway.

  “I see your flight arrived on time.” Candace McClain greeted her as Meryl approached.

  Meryl stepped up into the entryway. “Yes. No delays.” Meryl felt awkward at first, but then kissed her mother on the cheek and embraced her. “I’m sorry, Mother.”

  Her mother leaned into her, as though drawing strength from Meryl’s presence. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  They moved into the living room. Meryl’s Aunt Suzanne, her mother’s only sibling, stood to greet Meryl. “We’re pleased you could make it, my dear.” Her aunt gave her air kisses to both cheeks. She leaned back, grasping Meryl’s hands in hers. “Look at you. All grown up and as beautiful as always.”

  Meryl blushed. “I don’t know about that.”

  “You were always so shy about your beauty. Trust me. The right man’s still out there for you.”

  Meryl stiffened.

  “Suzanne, would you mind giving us a moment?” her mother asked in an icy tone.

  “It’s late. I’ll retire now for the evening and see you both in the morning.”

  Meryl watched Suzanne as she ascended the stairs. She turned around and caught the full brunt of her mother’s stare.

  “Let’s have a seat, shall we?”

  Meryl’s stomach fluttered.

  They sat down on the leather couch.

  “Would you like some tea?”

  “No, thank you.” Meryl observed her in the lamplight. She wore no makeup. Instead, exhaustion lined her face. Meryl had rarely seen her so open and vulnerable.

  Candace took her hand. “It’s time for you to tell me why you’ve stayed away.”

  “Mother, I—”

  “No, Meryl, this can’t wait any longer. I don’t want to hear this after your father’s funeral. I want to hear it now.”

  Meryl still hesitated.

  Her mother squeezed her hand. “Please, dear. Something happened between you and your father that you haven’t told me. Whatever it was, it was enough to keep you away. Tell me.”

  Meryl closed her eyes to gather her courage. She opened them. Her mother’s gray eyes searched hers.

  “It happened long ago when I was a child. I don’t know how old I was when it first happened. I don’t know how many times it happened. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that it did happen.”

  Her mother gripped the cushion of the couch with her other hand.

  Once Meryl began to speak, the words tumbled out. “Grandmother McClain molested me. It happened while she bathed me. She… she kept rubbing me in my… my—”

  Candace held up her hand, and her face turned ashen. “You don’t need to say.”

  “The one dream that’s so vivid… Father was there. He opened the door to the bathroom, saw what was happening, and didn’t stop it. I told him I was hurting. I told him.”

  “And he…”

  “He turned away and shut the door behind him. And she kept on and kept on.” Meryl pounded the cushion beside her with her fist.

  Her mother brought her hand to her mouth. She stood and walked to the picture window. She swayed and held onto the top of a nearby chair. The lights lining the driveway reflected onto her drawn face. “You confronted your father, didn’t you?” Candace asked while still facing the window.

  “Yes.” Meryl began crying. “Mother, I couldn’t tell you. By the time I understood what all my bad dreams were really about, he was already dying. I didn’t want to take away your last days with him. I’m so sorry.”

  Her mother turned around. “Oh, honey.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Do you think I believe this is your fault?” She approached Meryl and cupped her face in her hands. “You poor girl. If I’d known, I promise you I would have taken you away from this house. We both would have left. Gone east to live with my parents. Anywhere but here.”

  Meryl suddenly was a child again. “Mommy, it hurt so much,” she sobbed.

  Candace sat down beside her and took Meryl into her arms. She pressed Meryl’s head under her chin and rocked her. “My poor, poor little Meryl. They can’t hurt you anymore. I’m here. Mommy’s here.”

  Meryl welcomed her mother’s soothing words and pressed even farther into her embrace. It took Meryl back to the night on Angie’s boat when she last felt safe. It seemed so long ago.

  Oh, Ange.

 
Chapter 26

  Angie threw on a pair of running shorts and a sports bra and pulled on a white tank top. She jogged down to the bar. She’d check in first with everyone and then get in her run to the lighthouse. She hadn’t had any physical activity for the past few weeks, and she’d missed it.

  She put her key in the door at the Cozy Conch and stepped inside. Henrietta, one of the bartenders, was mopping the floor while Christi stood on a stool, wiping down the mirror behind the bar. The smell of cleaning products assaulted Angie’s nostrils.

  “Man, when you guys clean, you clean,” Angie said.

  Christi glanced over her shoulder at Angie. “We have this boss who insists on a spotless bar.”

  Angie chuckled. “If that’s the case, I hope she gives y’all a raise.”

  “Gosh, that’d be kind of nice,” Christi said while squeezing out her rag.

  “I thought you’d like that one.” Angie stepped behind the bar and pulled out a bottled water from the refrigerator. “You both have everything under control. I’m taking this out to the beach to do some jogging.”

  Sage walked in from the rear. “Be careful. It’s supposed to be a scorcher today, Miss World-Famous-Author-Who-Rarely-Graces-Our-Presence.”

  “Which is why I’m only jogging a mile rather than three, Mister May-Not-Have-a-Job-Soon-if-He-Keeps-Mouthing-Off.”

  “Go on. Work on toning those legs, darling,” he shot back. “You’re looking a little out of shape.”

  “You’re such an asshole.”

  “Said the woman who kept her secret from her most trusted friend.”

  “Whatever, Sage.” Angie waved to the three of them and darted out the door.

  She approached where she usually started her run. The heavy tropical air hung around her like a wet beach towel. Angie took a swig of the water and then set it down on a bench while she stretched out. She loosened up enough to begin her run.

  While she jogged, her thoughts turned to Meryl. There’d been no calls. No contact. Angie was beginning to accept that it was over. But for her, “over” would mean she’d return to living her life as she had before, hoping against hope that one day they’d be together again.

  She made the turn at the lighthouse and jogged back to the bench. When she reached her bottle of water, she doused it over her head and shook her hair out. Another jogger passed her. She turned around, gave Angie the once-over, and ran down to the beach.

  Angie jogged home rather than taking a leisurely walk. As she drew closer to her house, she noticed someone sitting on the stoop leading up to the front door, with bags stacked beside her.

  Jan gave her a big grin as Angie approached.

  “Kept telling you I’d show up unannounced.” Jan spread out her arms. “Here I am.”

  Angie quickened her pace and gave Jan a big hug.

  “Gosh, I didn’t expect this, but it’s nice to know you missed me,” Jan said.

  “Sorry. I’m all sweaty. Let me help you with those.” Angie picked up Jan’s suitcases. “Planning to stay awhile?”

  “Oh, maybe a week. You know me and packing. I can’t just put in a week’s worth of clothing. I stand there and say, ‘if we go out, then I’ll need that’ or ‘if I spill something on my nice, white suit, I’ll need this.’”

  “I’m glad my big sister hasn’t changed.”

  They entered the living room.

  “Take a load off,” Angie said, pointing to the couch. “I’ll get you some juice. I have orange, grape, apple, cranberry—”

  “Good God. When did you go all health nutty on me?”

  “About five years ago,” Angie shouted from the kitchen. “You haven’t answered my question.”

  “Surprise me.”

  Angie handed Jan a bottle of apple juice and opened a bottle of water for herself.

  “Angie, you remember how much I hate this stuff.”

  “But you said—”

  Jan broke into a big grin. She smacked Angie on her leg after Angie sat down beside her. “I’m joking. What happened to your sense of humor?”

  “I think it left me a few weeks ago.” Angie took a drink of water.

  Jan pulled down the sunglasses perched on top of her head and tossed them onto the table. “A lot’s happened to you in the past few weeks. You seemed so down whenever we talked. I’d think this would be a freeing experience for you.”

  “It has been.” Angie glanced over at Jan and turned away.

  “But? I sense a ‘but’ coming on. What about you and Meryl?”

  “She got the interview of her career, I guess.”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it.”

  “What do you want to hear? That I haven’t heard from her since the day of the interview?”

  “And why is that?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s talk about something else. What did Mom and Dad think about everything? And Lou, too, for that matter?”

  “They were in shock. Lou especially. Of course, he’s a horse’s ass, so that’s to be expected. Mom didn’t say anything. You know how she is. But Daddy?”

  “Yeah?”

  Jan smiled. “Daddy was very proud.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. We talked for a long time about it. He told me he always knew you’d do something special in your life with your writing. He went out and bought all of the Barker books, even your latest.”

  “Yet, he can’t call me and tell me all of this himself.”

  Jan grasped her hand. “Give him a little time, Angie. When he found out I was coming down here, he told me to tell you he loved you and he’d call soon.”

  “Until Mom finds out and puts a quick stop to it,” Angie said.

  “Not this time.”

  “What do you mean?” Angie’s heart skipped a beat.

  “Just what I said. This time’s different. He talked about getting older and having regrets in his life—the biggest one being how he’s treated you. He said he’d talk to Mom in the next couple of weeks. This time, he told me, there’d be no giving in to her wishes.”

  “Oh, Jan.” Angie choked out the words.

  Jan moved closer and put her arm around Angie. “I said he’d come around. Of course, it’s much later than I’d hoped. But as long as it brings you together before he passes, that’s all that matters.” She kissed Angie on the forehead. “How about you tell me what happened between you and Meryl.”

  Angie shook her head. “It’s all my fault.”

  “Okay, what’s all your fault?”

  Angie downed the rest of her water and set the empty plastic bottle on the coffee table.

  “Why do I think you wished that was something stronger?” Jan asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Because you’d be right.” Angie ran her fingers through her wet hair.

  “Now you’re giving me a big clue how bad this is by that gesture alone. It’s usually your stall tactic when you’ve done something wrong.”

  “I never could keep anything from you.”

  “And this is bad, how?”

  Angie tried to muster a smile, but could only grimace. “Meryl came here over a month ago searching for Zach England. They had a lead at the Banner that England might live in Key West. And Meryl thought England might be a woman.”

  “Yeah, I remember that article. Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”

  “If it’s that you don’t want to hear I kept it from her that I was Zach England, okay, then I won’t tell you.”

  “Oh Lord.”

  “And do you want to hear the topper?”

  “There’s something worse?”

  “I had us searching for the guy who was suspected to be Zach England, one Hal Morris.”

  “The baseball player?”

  “Only you’d remember that. Of course, you defied the family and became a Reds fan rather than an Indians fan.”

  “Just to piss off Lou. Jesus, Angie, I can’t believe you did that. I take it
she found out?”

  “I’d left one of my marked-up manuscripts lying out. At first, she thought I was England’s editor. The sad thing is I’d planned to tell her that morning. But it was too late.”

  “Man, oh man. When you screw up, you really screw up.”

  “Thanks, Jan. You’re real supportive.”

  “Hey, I’m your big sister. I’m supposed to get on you about shit like this. It’s my job.” Jan made a face. “And now that her father died, I’m sure it’ll be even more difficult for you to connect with her again. She probably feels like she’s being bombarded with all this emotional upheaval.”

  Angie bolted up from her slouch. “What did you say?”

  “I said that she probably feels like she’s being bombarded—”

  “No. Did you say her father died?”

  “Yeah. It was in the Youngstown paper. I guess they ran the obituary because of who he was, but especially since he owned one of the steel mills that shut down in Youngstown.”

  Angie jumped to her feet and paced. Her mind raced with images of Meryl struggling with the death of her father as well as the scars he’d inflicted during her childhood.

  “What’s wrong?” Jan asked.

  “I need to go there.”

  “Where? You don’t mean…”

  “Yes. To Pittsburgh, or rather Mount Lebanon. Did the paper say when they’re holding the services?”

  “I think it said the viewing’s today and the funeral’s tomorrow.” Jan went to Angie and gripped her shoulders.

  Angie stopped.

  “You’re making me dizzy. Are you even sure she’d want you there?”

  “No, I’m not. But I still love her.”

  Angie hurried down the hallway to the bathroom, stripping while she ran.

  “And just like when we were kids, I’m picking up after you.” Jan snatched up Angie’s clothes as she followed behind her. Angie was in the shower. She heard Jan enter the bathroom and flip the lid down on the commode. She could make out Jan sitting there through the steamed glass of the shower stall.

  “If you’re going to do this, which it seems damn well likely you are, can I help out in any way?” Jan asked.

  “Yeah. Get online and find out about flights leaving Miami for Pittsburgh. I’d like to get there this evening so I can catch my breath before tomorrow.”