by Rachel Hanna
“It was a joint effort between your aunt and myself. We’d take photos whenever the opportunity presented itself and then decided on the best ones to make a collage out of. We hoped it would help you to look back on your time here with fond memories.”
“I love it…” Sophie felt tears forming in her eyes but blinked them back. “Thank you so much, Aunt Kay and Uncle Philip. Both my presents are fantastic...” She hugged Philip and Kay in turn before wrapping the collage in the blanket and taking the gifts upstairs with her as she went to get ready for Christmas lunch. Miller and his parents were coming over to share the meal with them and from all accounts it was going to be the meal to end all meals. Miller’s mom, Stacy, and her aunt had been planning it for weeks.
Sophie changed out of the jeans and long-sleeved shirt she’d pulled on for cooking into a plum-colored dress her mom had insisted she take with her in order to have something “suitably presentable” to wear for Christmas. She was actually glad she had brought it with her. She felt like dressing up for the occasion and she could admit that the dress did add a touch of sophistication to her appearance. She slipped in some silver drop earrings and surveyed the collection of shoes she had brought with her. They ranged from sneakers to slippers to a pair of black winter boots that reached to just below her knees. With no heels to choose from – she hadn’t seen the point of bringing any to a ranch in winter – she opted for the boots as the best match for the dress.
For the most part she had kept her hair tied back in a bun or ponytail to prevent it falling into her face while she was cooking or helping out on the ranch but today she decided to let it hang loosely. Applying a small amount of makeup in the form of eyeliner and a light shade of pink lipstick, she stepped back to view the results as best she could in the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t the best angle but from what she could make out, things seemed coordinated okay.
Heading back downstairs she followed the sounds of chopping and running water into the kitchen, where she found her aunt well and truly in action mode. Sophie surveyed the scene with fond affection. “What can I do to help, Aunt Kay?”
Kay looked up from her chopping board and smiled. “Well, don’t you look just lovely, honey.”
Sophie glanced down at her attire. “Does it look okay? I wasn’t sure if this would be suitable.”
“Pretty as a picture, darlin’,” her uncle confirmed as he came into the kitchen. “I better make sure I scrub up well myself so I don’t disgrace you.” He winked playfully at Sophie before heading to the kettle. “So who’s up for a cup of hot chocolate?”
With unanimous yeses all around, Philip busied himself with the drinks while Sophie got to work laying the larger dining table in the adjacent room. An hour later everything was cooking, the table had been laid and Sophie sat in the lounge rubbing Tilly and Badger’s tummies as they sprawled in front of the fire. Turning at the sound behind her, she grinned at her aunt and uncle. “Wow, you make quite the couple.” Kay looked elegant in a blouse and skirt while Philip looked ruggedly handsome in a long-sleeved shirt and smart jeans.
“It’s not hard when I have this lovely lady on my arm. Everyone’s so busy looking at her that I can just slide under the radar.” Her uncle winked at Sophie and then grabbed Kay by the waist, dipping her down before bringing her back up and kissing her soundly. Kay laughed and swatted him playfully on the arm before they both came to settle in front of the fire with Sophie. Kay reached for a book, keen to enjoy some downtime before the guests arrived, while Philip turned to Sophie and asked “So how about a game?”
“Sure.” Sophie nodded and reached for the chess board, positioning it on the side table between them. Her uncle had been teaching her how to play and she had a good grasp of the basic rules by now. Back in San Francisco chess was something that never would have interested her but she found she enjoyed the strategy behind it, trying to predict her opponent’s moves while trying not to make her own so obvious. She was engrossed in the game when a knock on the door disturbed her thoughts and she glanced up as the dogs moved excitedly into the hallway. A few seconds later she heard voices and stood up with her uncle as Joe and Stacy Rhodes appeared in the lounge entranceway, an assortment of tubs and containers in their arms.
“Hi, Philip. Hi, Sophie. Merry Christmas. I’ll greet you properly when I’m done with my duties as a pack horse.” Joe grinned as his wife directed a disapproving look in his direction before he headed off down the hallway.
“Merry Christmas, folks. Ignore that ungrateful husband of mine. He won’t be complaining when he’s eating all that food he carried here.” Stacy followed Joe down the hallway towards the kitchen, making way for Miller who was laden with parcels. He wore a pair of fitted black jeans that accentuated his long legs, paired with a navy sweater that hugged his form and displayed the muscles in his biceps. Sophie couldn’t help the wave of pure feminine appreciation that washed over her. Well so what? I’m allowed one look, it’s Christmas after all.
However, as Miller stepped into the lounge with the gifts, he stared at Sophie for several seconds, an unreadable expression on his face that made her suddenly self-conscious, before he came forward and deposited the parcels on the couch. Sophie glanced down quickly at herself while he wasn’t looking, wondering if she had gotten a stain on her clothing, but unable to detect anything wrong in the brief amount of time before Miller straightened up again, she decided to ignore his odd look as he hugged her uncle and wished him Happy Christmas before he turned his attention to her.
“Merry Christmas, Sophie,” he murmured softly. “Do you mind if I give you a Christmas hug?”
“No…that’s fine.” She stepped forward as his arms enfolded her in an embrace that was both firm and gentle at the same time. It was impossible not to feel the strength in his body as he hugged her against him.
“You look beautiful, Sophie.” His words, which were quietly murmured near her ear before he stepped back, caused an unexpected tingling heat to spread over her. They had sounded like a caress – which was ridiculous – but she was unable to stop the thoughts that rose in her mind, coupled with a surprising longing that the tone she had imagined was real. However, snapping herself back to the present, she glanced at him, noting his perfectly normal expression as he turned his attention to the chessboard. What an idiot you are, Soph. He’s going into the army and you barely escaped jail time. You’re the last person someone like Miller would be interested in. Besides, it’s not like you’re interested in him either.
She scowled as she berated herself, before realizing that Miller had said something to which her uncle had replied it was too close to call at this stage. Assuming they were talking about the game, Sophie cleared her throat before uttering “Uncle Philip is teaching me to play. He’s taking pity on me and keeping me in the game. I’m sure if it was anyone else he was playing, the game would have been finished ages ago.”
“You’re doing just fine, darlin’.” Her uncle gave her an encouraging smile. “Everybody’s got to start somewhere and you’re learning quickly.”
“When I was just learning to play, your uncle went easy on me as well.”
Sophie glanced at Miller. “Uncle Philip taught you to play?”
“Yes he did. He’s a good teacher.” Miller smiled affectionately at Philip.
“Well you were a good student. You can certainly give me a run for my money now.”
Sophie looked from her uncle to Miller before asking “Do you mind if I watch you guys play? How about now since we’ve got some time before lunch?”
“You should finish your game first,” Miller gestured to the board. “Every bit of practice helps.”
“No, I think I’d learn just as much watching you both play. You guys get started, I’ll be right back.” Leaving the pair to set up the board again, Sophie hurried upstairs and retrieved her Christmas blanket before returning and settling herself on the couch, cozy and content to watch as they began to play. After a few minutes, it was evident how much her
uncle had been holding back while playing against her. The game had a much quicker pace than her one had, far too quick for her to stay ahead of all the potential moves and see them coming. In less than half an hour her uncle had won but it had been close on more than one occasion.
As her uncle moved to join Kay, Stacy and Joe in conversation, Miller turned to Sophie enquiringly. “Would you like to play with me?”
Yes, just not the kind of game you have in mind… Sophie pinched herself under the blanket. Seriously? Do not even go there. “I can’t play anywhere near the speed you and my uncle can. I wouldn’t be much of a challenge.”
“I disagree. You can be quite a challenge when you set your mind to it.” Miller smiled teasingly at her.
“Hold on, I don’t believe it. Did you, Mr. Serious, just make a joke?” Sophie scoffed in reply.
“Who said I’m joking?” He stared at her neutrally for a few seconds before grinning.
“You know what? You’re on. I’ll beat you through boredom as you have to sit and wait while I make up my mind what to do each turn.” Sophie gathered the blanket up, stood and made her way to the chair her uncle had vacated.
“Nice blanket,” Miller commented as he set up the board. “Christmas present?”
“Aunt Kay made it for me.”
“She’s multitalented. She made me this sweater for Christmas last year.”
“It suits you.”
“You think so?” He seemed pleased by her comment as he placed the final piece on its square and angled the board towards her. They played for twenty minutes before Kay announced that lunch was ready and they made their way to the dining table.
“So, how am I doing?” Sophie asked as she sat down next to Miller.
“You’re doing fine.”
“I’ve taken more pieces than you have.” She looked pleased with herself.
“Yes, you have a lovely collection of pawns. The knight, bishop and rook I captured from you pale in comparison.”
“Well maybe it’s just my clever plan to let you think you’re winning. Maybe you’re just a pawn and you don’t know it.”
“Hmm, possibly…in which case I must congratulate you on doing an excellent job of convincing me so well that I’m winning.” Miller looked at her sideways before smiling at Sophie’s slight scowl.
“Yeah, yeah. Just keep smiling. When I win – and I’m not saying it’ll be today but I’ll do it sometime – you won’t think it’s so funny.”
“That’s fine by me, Sophie. If you win then you’ve done it on your own merit. I won’t just let you win. There’d be no fun in that, no challenge.”
“So is that what you consider fun?”
“I don’t understand…” Miller looked at her questioningly as she eyed him thoughtfully.
“Challenges, is that your idea of fun? If something is a challenge?”
“Depends what the challenge is, but yes, it does hold a certain appeal for me. So what’s your idea of fun, Sophie?”
She considered the question before responding “I suppose challenges as well, depending on what they are. I have a problem of not backing down from dares.”
Miller laughed. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Before he could ask her to elaborate on what dares she had done, Kay announced that the food was ready to be served and everyone should help themselves – and help themselves they did. Kay and Stacy had produced a magnificent feast with more than enough food to feed everyone present until they were completely satiated while still having leftovers. Sophie had accepted a glass of red wine and was feeling very satisfied and mellow as she looked at the faces around the table. Everyone was so happy, laughing or joking…it was one of the best Christmases she had had in a long time. Suddenly, however, a ringtone pierced the air, snapping her out of her reveries.
“That’s mine, sorry,” Sophie apologized as she stood up.
“No problem, honey. Go see who it is and take your time. We’re not going anywhere.” Her aunt smiled and returned to her conversation with Joe as Sophie made her way to the lounge and retrieved her phone. Picking it up, she felt some of her mellowness dissipate as she read the caller ID. Taking a breath, she answered the call and held the phone to her ear.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, Sophie. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Mom.”
“So how are you doing? I hear voices in the background; I’m not disturbing you, am I?”
“No, Mom. We’ve just finished lunch and are chatting. Can you hold on? I’m going to go somewhere quieter.” Sophie held the phone to her chest as she headed back towards the dining table and bent towards her aunt. “It’s my mom on the phone. I’m going to take this upstairs where it’s quieter if that’s okay?”
“Sure, Sophie. Take as long as you need.” An understanding expression passed briefly over Kay’s face before she smiled. “Wish her Merry Christmas from us.”
“Okay.” Sophie retreated up the stairs and into the guest room, closing the door behind her. Heading towards the bed, she sat down as she raised the phone once more. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes, sweetheart. I hear you fine.”
“Everyone sends their Christmas wishes.”
“Thank you; tell them Merry Christmas from me, please.”
“Okay.” A few seconds of awkward silence passed between them before Sophie spoke. “So…uh…how’s New York?”
“Oh it’s great! Busy with your aunt and the twins, but it’s been really great. I think you’d really like it here.”
“Say hi to them for me please.”
“Sure, honey. How’s things on the ranch? Are you having a good time?”
Sophie refrained from saying anything for a few seconds as she thought over her time so far on the ranch. “Yes, it’s good.”
“Really?” Her mom was unable to hide the surprise in her voice.
“Yeah, really. It’s been nice getting to know Aunt Kay and Uncle Philip properly.”
“So you get along well with them?”
“I’d like to think so.”
“Good…that’s good.” Sophie frowned as she heard her mother’s voice take on a slightly tense tone. “So, sweetheart, I’m sorry I haven’t called you before now and it’s just been messages. Things have been…busy.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Have you heard from your father?”
“He called three days ago.” Sophie began to get the distinct impression her mother had something on her mind but was reluctant to voice it. Sighing, she decided to go with the direct approach. The sooner this conversation was finished, the quicker she could get back downstairs. “Mom, is there something specific you wanted to talk to me about? It sounds like there is.”
There was silence on the other end that stretched for so long Sophie wondered if the connection had been broken somehow. However, her mother’s voice eventually broke the silence. “Sophie, I really didn’t want to do this on the phone but it’s maybe better to do it this way, especially if you’re getting along well with Kay and Philip. You should know as soon as possible and have people you can turn to.”
“Mom, what is it?” A nervous tension had begun to twist itself into a dull, heavy lump in her stomach.
“I don’t know how to say this…to break it gently to you…” Her mother’s voice broke off and Sophie heard her take a deep breath before she continued. “Sophie, your father and I are getting a divorce.”
Sophie sat completely still, not saying anything. Everything around her had suddenly gone incredibly quiet. She no longer heard the sound of the wind as it gently swayed the branches of the tree outside her window. The laughter and voices coming from the dining room had utterly faded away.
Receiving no reply, Jessica spoke softly. “Sophie, are you still there?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry, Sophie. I’m going to call Kay and Philip and let them know but I wanted you to know first.”
“No, don’t do that.” Her voice sou
nded hollow and far away, but Sophie continued on. “I can tell them myself.”
“Are you sure? How are you feeling?”
Ignoring the question, Sophie asked “When did you decide?”
“We agreed yesterday. Your dad and I spoke on the phone for a long time. We’ve thought long and hard about this, Sophie, and we agree that it’s for the best. Time apart has helped us to realize that we’re better living separately than together.”
“You haven’t even been apart for two weeks. How can you be sure?” She tried to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice but her mother picked up on it anyway.
“Two weeks was all we needed, Sophie. This has been a long time coming; we just didn’t want to admit it to ourselves and each other – and you. Tell me how you’re feeling, Sophie.”
“I need some time to think about this. I need to go. Please don’t tell Aunt Kay or Uncle Philip. I’ll tell them when I’m ready, okay?”
“I don’t know, honey –“
“It’s the least you can do, Mom. You tell me on Christmas day that you and Dad are getting a divorce – Christmas day, Mom. Even you have to admit that’s a bit fucked up.”
“Sophie! There’s no need to swear, this is hard enough as it is.”
“Consider it your Christmas gift to me that I can at least tell my aunt and uncle when I’m ready to. I don’t want their pitying looks today and I don’t want to tarnish Christmas for them. You owe me that much.”
The line was silent for a few seconds before her mom replied quietly “Okay, Sophie.”
“Thank you. Bye, Mom.”
“Sophie, wait! I want you to know that your father and I both love you. You know that, right?”
“Mom, I need to go.”
“Okay, honey...”
Sophie ended the call without waiting for her mom to finish. Placing the phone on the bedside table, she sat and stared at the plush rug, forcing herself to examine the individual fibers so that she wouldn’t have to think about anything else. However, as the seconds ticked on it became increasingly difficult to block her emotions out. Anger, betrayal and the urge to break down and cry competed for priority, thrashing inside her as each breath became more difficult than the preceding one. Bunching her hands into fists, she dug her nails into the flesh of her palms, hoping the pain would distract her, but it wasn’t enough to overwhelm the pain inside. Desperate to get her emotions under control before someone found her like this, her mind raced frantically for a solution until coming to a severe halt with startling clarity. Of course; why hadn’t she thought of it before?
