by Rachel Hanna
Standing up, she retrieved the remainder of her weed stash and opened the bedroom door, making her way as quietly as she could down the stairs and out the front door. Luckily the voices in the dining room drowned out any noise she might have made and she was able to successfully escape the house without anyone realizing. Heading round the side of the house, she walked quickly to the clump of trees that marked the start of the path she had followed a few days ago. Crouching down, she leaned against a tree trunk as she rolled a joint but her fingers were clumsy – whether from the cold or tension she couldn’t be sure – and it took her several attempts to get it properly rolled and lit.
She drowned out all other thoughts as she focused on inhaling the calming effect of the drug, welcoming the lessening of the tension that had gripped her body severely mere minutes before. She continued to smoke until her hand no longer trembled when she held it up in front of her face. That’s it, Soph. You’re doing fine. Everything’s under control. Not caring about the time, she remained where she was, her thoughts solely focused on her relaxing body. Everybody would think she was still on the phone. There was plenty of time to finish the joint and slip back inside without anyone noticing she had ever left. Tomorrow…well she’d deal with tomorrow when it came. For now, it was just time to focus on getting through today.
***
“Miller, would you mind heading upstairs and letting Sophie know dessert will be served soon?”
“Sure, Kay.” Miller pushed back from the table and strolled into the hallway, taking the stairs at a leisurely pace, partly so he could digest his meal and partly so he could gather his thoughts. Today had been nothing like what he had expected. For starters, he had been completely overwhelmed by Sophie’s appearance. He knew she was a beautiful girl – he wasn’t blind – but he was used to seeing her in casual clothes as she helped out with some task around the ranch. Plus he’d always seen her as Kay and Philip’s wayward niece and someone Philip had asked him to keep an eye on. Today had been an entirely new setting; she had looked every inch the stunning city girl, her beautiful black hair cascading over her shoulders and down her back in a sensuous dark waterfall. He’d had no idea her hair was that long, shimmering and soft, and every part of him had wanted to reach out and skim his fingers through it.
When he’d been close enough to touch her, he’d become momentarily mesmerized by her hazel eyes that sported flecks of green and gold, and how luscious her lips were, especially accented by the lipstick she wore. God, how had he never noticed those lips before? Well he sure as hell was aware of them now, along with the rest of her – he couldn’t forget the feel of her body pressed against his own as he’d hugged her close to him that morning.
He’d also enjoyed playing chess with her, the way her brow would furrow slightly as she thought about her moves, her grin and look of satisfaction whenever she took one of his pieces, the way she’d teased him…
Sighing, he shook his head as he continued up the stairs. He’d enjoyed the time he’d spent with Sophie far too much today. He was meant to be the one keeping her out of trouble and all he could think about was getting into trouble with her. If he let himself be swept away by her, he knew her wild, fun-loving nature could get the better of him and he might end up doing something incredibly stupid. She’s Philip and Kay’s niece and don’t you forget it, he chastised himself as he reached the guest bedroom and knocked before calling out to her. “Sophie, dessert’s going to be ready soon.”
He waited but received no reply. Glancing at his watch, he listened carefully but could hear no sound coming from behind the door. It had been half an hour since Sophie’s phone had wrung. He would have figured her call would be finished by now and that she would have come downstairs. Knocking again, he waited a few seconds before turning the handle and opening the door. “Sophie?” Gazing around, it was evident that Sophie was not in the guest room. Curious, he wondered where she could have gone to. The bathroom door was open and he hadn’t heard any sounds from the kitchen. However, he decided to check and made his way back downstairs, glancing in the living room as he passed it on his way to the kitchen, but she was in neither of the rooms.
Coming back to the table, he caught Kay’s attention and murmured “I think Sophie may have gone outside as I can’t find her anywhere indoors. I’ll go check; it won’t take long.”
“Thanks, Miller.” Unconcerned, Kay said nothing further as Miller grabbed his coat and left the house. Heading down the porch steps, he gazed around but saw no sign of her so he continued on around the side of the house but she was nowhere to be found.
Taking a deep breath, he called out her name but received no reply. Reasoning that if she had wandered off somewhere the most likely direction would be the path, he set off towards it and within a few minutes he could make out her figure partly hidden by a tree trunk. He called her name again but she made no move to respond to him or come towards him. Proceeding onwards until he was facing her, he had planned to ask her what she was doing all the way out here but he stopped in shock as he stared down at her.
“Sophie…is that a joint?”
She glanced up at him before giggling slightly. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a smoking tree…”
Realization was swift to follow his initial shock. “You’re high.”
“Am I? I feel rather low…figuratively and literally I suppose.” She took a deep drag, exhaling in pleasure as she tilted her head back against the tree to look up at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.”
“Shouldn’t you be back inside?”
“Sophie, how long have you been out here?”
“Relax, everyone thinks I’m on the phone. You seriously need to learn to just chill.”
“Sophie, it’s been forty-five minutes now since you received your phone call.”
“Oh, shit…really?” She burst into a fit of giggles. “Hope nobody’s wondering where I am…oh wait, that’s why you’re here, hey…” More laughter followed as she grinned up at him from her slumped position on the ground.
“Give me that joint.” Miller held his hand out and Sophie’s grin widened.
“Wanna join me? Maybe you’re not such a stick in the mud after all.”
“No, Sophie. I don’t want to join you. Just give me the joint.” He leaned down but she pulled back from him, trying to keep the joint out of his reach. Grasping her wrist, he held her in place with one hand while he pried the joint out of her fingers with the other, promptly dropping it on the ground and crushing it with his boot.
“Damn, man, that was my last bit of stash. Will you stop that? You’re getting dirt in it. Maybe I can save some…” Sophie reached towards the crushed joint but Miller grabbed her by both wrists and hauled her to her feet.
“You’re coming with me. Geez, Sophie, you’re freezing. Put this on.” He shrugged out of his coat and tried to get her to put it on but she refused, wriggling out of his reach and backing away from him.
“Just leave me alone. Go back inside.”
“That’s not going to happen without you coming too. Now you can choose to come willingly or I can make you.”
“Just try,” she glared in response at him.
“Fine, have it your way.” He stepped forward and lifted her off the ground onto his shoulder before turning around and walking back to the house. Too angry to speak, he ignored her curses and attempts to kick him or punch him, eventually getting her back inside and depositing her in the lounge. “Philip, Kay, could you come into the living room, please?” He made no attempt to get out of Sophie’s way when she tried to push him back from blocking the living room entrance. Her uncle and aunt appeared shortly afterward, standing on either side of Miller.
“What’s wrong?” Kay glanced from Miller to Sophie.
“He won’t get out my way, that’s what’s wrong,” Sophie snarled.
“I found her smoking a joint outside. She’s currently high as a kite.” Miller glared at Sophie in respon
se, not taking his eyes off her as he explained the situation to Kay and Philip.
A mixture of shock and hurt on her face, Kay addressed Sophie in a strict tone. “Sophie, you know we forbade you from doing anything like that while you were here. We trusted you to follow our rules. How long have you been doing this?”
Sophie ignored the question and instead went and sat down, holding her head in her hands. “I don’t feel so good. Think the wine and weed aren’t mixing too well right now…this is your fault, Miller. I was perfectly relaxed until you found me.”
“My fault?” Unable to hold his temper back anymore, Miller unleashed a scathing torrent of words onto her. “All this time, you’ve played all of us for fools, haven’t you? We’ve all just been pawns in your game, hey? I believed your act, you know; I thought you were really trying here and that you liked spending time on the ranch and liked the people here.”
“Just shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sophie continued to hold her head in her hands, not looking up.
“Why are you here, Sophie? A spoiled city girl like you doesn’t want to spend the holidays on a ranch with family she’s not kept in touch with.”
“Don’t you dare judge me,” Sophie looked up suddenly and glared at him.
“Miller, it’s okay...” Philip tried to interject but Miller cut him off.
“No, Philip, it’s not okay. It’s not right that you and Kay show her such hospitality and she throws it in your face by getting high on Christmas day of all days. I mean, geez, she couldn’t even wait until my family and I had gone home!”
“You don’t know a damn thing about me!” Sophie suddenly screamed at him. “Just because you think you’re perfect, doesn’t give you the right to make assumptions about me. I was right in what I said the first day we met. You’re such an asshole!”
“Sophie, enough!” The anger in Kay’s controlled tone was unmistakable.
“No, let her rant! Let her get it all out in the open. Come on, let’s see the fireworks,” Miller taunted her. “I’d rather she was disrespectful to me than you or Philip.”
“Oh you self-righteous jerk,” Sophie’s eyes were slits as she addressed Miller. “It’s not enough that you already have a family of your own who adore you; you have to have my aunt and uncle’s adoration too. Well I’m the one related to them, not you!”
“Being related by blood doesn’t make you family. How many times had you been in contact with them before you came here?”
“What do you care? It’s obvious that you think I can’t compete with you – and you don’t want me to!” Sophie yelled in response. “Nobody’s worthy enough but you!”
“You know what? I’m going to hazard a guess that your parents sent you here to get some peace and quiet. I know I would if I were them!”
The look of abject hurt that passed over Sophie’s face made him pause in his tirade, but he didn’t regret what he’d said. After all, he was probably right. The sooner she learned to accept hard truths, the easier it would be for her to work on improving herself.
“Well actually, one of them is about to get a whole lot of permanent peace and quiet where I’m concerned.”
“Sophie, I think it’s best if you and your uncle and me have a private talk,” her aunt murmured soothingly, realization starting to dawn.
“There’s no point, you’ll know sooner or later, everybody will know sooner or later. So screw it, it might as well be sooner. Guess what festive news my mom shared with me today during our talk? My dad and her are getting divorced. And you know what? I’m glad. It’ll be an end to all these months of being in the middle of their bickering, enduring the constant snide remarks and arguments between them, and enduring being ignored because they were too focused on hating each other to see that all I wanted was for it to stop. And when I tried to get their attention, it just made things worse.” Within seconds the rage that had fueled her rant had dissipated, to be replaced with wrenching sobs as tears fell freely down her cheeks.
Horrified at the sight before him, Miller didn’t notice as his parents came up quietly behind him. “Son, it’s time we went home.” Joe put his hand on Miller’s shoulder before steering him gently away from the living room entrance and into the hallway. Stacy came to stand beside Kay, both of them looking on as Philip sat beside Sophie, holding her in a quiet embrace as she cried against his chest.
“Are you going to be okay here?” Stacy asked softly.
“Yes, we’ll be fine.” Kay’s voice was determined as she reassured her friend. “Not immediately, but we’ll be fine eventually.”
“I’m sorry to leave you with all the tidying up.”
“Don’t you worry about that. I’m sorry you had to leave early.”
The friends exchanged a brief hug before Stacy followed her husband and son who had already exited the house. Kay stepped into the living room and picked up the blanket she had made for Sophie, wrapping it around the girl as she came to sit beside her as well. Then she and Philip simply let her cry until she was too exhausted to cry any more.
Chapter Seven
The biting cold air was a welcome sensation to Sophie as she stood on the porch, surveying the garden and fields beyond. Badger and Tilly lay quietly at her feet, their normally exuberant morning behavior reined in by Sophie’s quiet demeanor. Sunlight was beginning to stretch over the distant hills but all around her was silence. It would be an hour at least before her aunt and uncle would rise but Sophie was wide awake and had been for some time. Unable to sleep any more, she had decided to get up and embrace the start of the day as if it were the start of a new chapter in her life. For in essence today was a new start for her.
The night before she had told her aunt and uncle about her conversation with her mother. She had told them everything, in fact. She started at the beginning, informing them about the point at which, so many long months ago, she had begun to notice a strain in her parents’ relationship. Thinking it was a rut and that it would pass, she ignored it. Even the strongest relationships were strained at times. However, that rut developed into a rift she was caught in the middle of with no means of bridging the divide, and so she fell. Homework and exams had been the first thing to suffer but the result she had hoped to achieve through this did not occur. Her parents were not united over concern about her dismal grades. Instead they were pushed apart even further, each blaming the other – when they had gone beyond blaming her – as the cause of Sophie’s slide from straight A’s to failing, whether it was through being too lenient with her or disciplining her too much.
Unable to drive them closer through a common concern, Sophie had opted to take cover from the shrapnel of their disintegrating marriage through the shield of drugs and alcohol. If she didn’t give a damn about her home life then she couldn’t get hurt, and getting high or hammered was a very effective means of forgetting her troubles to the point where she didn’t care about anything except where the next entertainment would come from. Though the alcohol and weed were effective, an increasing recklessness began to build inside her, a desire to seek out thrills rather than mere entertainment.
Shoplifting was illegal and would piss off her parents if they found out – both admirable incentives to participate. The rush of escaping from the security guard after she had shoplifted had been addictive, a new kind of high that was alluring, if transient. She knew it would have led to more daring thefts if she’d sought to find an escape down that route. She could admit now that she’d blamed Abby but it was her choice to do it. She’d wanted to do it. In hindsight, it was lucky that she had got caught up in Mark’s theft and her foray into the enticing world of shoplifting had come to a grinding halt. If she hadn’t, perhaps she would have gone down his route one day.
Her uncle and aunt had listened without interrupting her. Once she was finished, they had thanked her for telling them and offered her comfort. There were no recriminations. They seemed to sense that none were required. Sophie knew her actions were wrong but Ka
y and Philip understood why she had done the things she had. After asking Sophie if she was okay with it, they had decided to phone her parents today to discuss the situation. Sophie didn’t know what they would discuss. She didn’t really care at this point. For the first time in a long time she felt free.
There was no need to worry about what her parents would do, when the next big fight would erupt. It was the not knowing that had been the worst, the constant tension in her body as she wondered whether meal times would be a relatively quiet affair or a remark would lead to shouting and accusations and one or both of them eventually storming off. There would be no need to come up with topics of conversation to distract them from a pending argument or to fill the silences that sat heavy on her shoulders, weighing her down and suffocating her.
Sophie breathed deeply, watching her breath mist as she exhaled. Feeling the urge to wander but with no particular destination in mind, she walked softly down the porch steps and strolled around the house towards the nearest field. The dogs followed as she walked, reveling in the sense of human solitude. For someone who didn’t like getting up early, there was something to be said for this time of day, where her thoughts could drift over nothing in particular as her feet led her wherever she fancied at any given moment. Strolling slowly, it took her a good quarter of an hour to reach the field, where she leaned against a fence post and surveyed the cattle as they gazed back at her. Realizing she hadn’t brought anything that would rival the grass around them, they soon lost interest in Sophie and returned to grazing.
