Raw Deal (Beauty for Ashes: Book One)

by Dayo Benson

  “What’s the real deal?” I asked.

  “A Christian guy who wants to marry me, preferably cute, with big muscles.”

  I broke into giggles, and Monica joined me. “You haven’t changed, have you? I mean I like muscles too, but they’re not that essential.”

  “Yeah, I have issues. I’m praying about it.”

  I looked incredulous. “Oh, please, it’s normal. Most girls like big muscles.”

  “Yeah, but I shouldn’t even be thinking about muscles. It’s what’s inside that matters. I’ll get over it. There’s more to life and marriage.”

  “There’s gotta be a guy with muscles at your church.”

  “You’d think.”

  “Jace is Christian, and he’s got muscles.”

  “And what?”

  “Do each other a favor and hook up.”

  Monica looked horrified.

  “Come on. He’s a great guy. You know he is.”

  Monica’s expression softened. “Don’t kill me if I tell you something.”

  My heartbeat accelerated slightly. “What? Are you and Jace in fact dating?” I asked bracing myself.

  “Of course not,” Monica said waving her hand.

  “So what is it?”

  “Well, I did start considering Jace,” Monica mumbled. She looked really embarrassed.

  “So what happened?” I wondered why I was feeling pangs of jealousy. Jace had moved on. Duh! And I was married to Carl.

  “Well, we got really close, and we started seeing each other every day, just to talk and go for dinner and stuff.

  “Dinner? Lunch is one thing, but dinner?”

  Monica screwed up her nose. “Dinner at burger joints and pizza places. Nothing special.”

  “Aww,” I said sympathetically.

  “Anyway, I just came to my senses and realized that ‘hey, this is Jace!’ I’ve known him for forever. We’re practically cousins. He’s like a brother, and eww, that is so gross!”

  I giggled at Monica’s expression.

  “So we’ve stopped hanging out so much, and I’ve stopped thinking about him in that way. It was only for about two weeks anyway. I’m glad I snapped out of it.” Monica grinned. “New York is pretty cool. I’m so glad I moved.”

  I nodded thoughtfully. My friends were all having fun while I was stuck in a stupid marriage. “If I wasn’t married, I’d probably transfer to a New York College and continue my degree there. I really miss you guys.”

  “We miss you too. There’s only one Lexi, and we love her to bits.”

  “Don’t make me cry and ruin my makeup,” I warned, smiling.

  Monica stood up. “Since you’re refusing to tell me what the deal is with you and Carl, let’s go see Michelle.”

  Monica led the way back into the hotel, and we took the elevator to the penthouse suite.

  “This hotel is out of this world!”

  “Yeah, it’s the Glacier not the Holiday Inn.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Look who’s here,” Monica announced, leading me through automatic glass doors.

  Michelle stood in front of an enormous mirror with dozens of people around her. She’d changed into a beautiful, slinky, white dress. I couldn’t tell the designer. Sandy was holding a tray of hair products and hair accessories for Michelle’s hairdresser.

  My eyes met Michelle’s in the mirror, and she turned around. “Lexi! You didn’t RSVP. I thought you weren’t coming!” She held out her hands, and I went to hug her.

  Michelle was truly gorgeous. She looked like the summer—radiant and happy. “You look amazing, Michelle.”

  Michelle twirled around, and the skirt of her dress floated around her gracefully. “The other dress was too much hard work.”

  “What label is it?”

  Michelle grinned. “Ha ha. It’s just by a tailor in New York. She’s still quite low scale, but she’s fantastic.”

  Michelle turned back to the mirror, and the hairdresser started fussing over her again. “Are you really married to Carl, or is Sandy just yanking my chain?”

  “We’re really married.”

  “What happened?”

  I frowned slightly, and Michelle looked apologetic. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

  “No worries.”

  “So you got any advice for me about marriage?”

  I shrugged. “Every marriage is different.”

  “C’mon,” Michelle prompted. “Tell me what to expect. Is Matt going to turn into a monster and make me cook and clean all hours?”

  “Of course not. Matt’s a good guy. He’ll probably be a great husband.”

  “How about our feelings for each other? Will they die down when we get used to each other?” Michelle looked at me in the mirror. “I don’t want our relationship to get boring and stale.”

  “It won’t. The crazy feelings die down, but your actual love gets stronger with time.” I’d heard my mom say that once, and I was just quoting her, since I had no idea what to say.

  “So, I’ll stop thinking about him every second we’re apart, and the butterflies I get in my stomach every time I see him are gonna go away?” Michelle asked, and I nodded. “But real, deep rooted love will set in? And I’ll love him more and more as the marriage goes on?”

  “Yeah,” I confirmed.

  “That’s so beautiful,” Michelle breathed. “That’s exactly what my mentor said.

  “Who’s your mentor?”

  “Some woman in my church.” Michelle held still while the hairdresser used a red hot curling tong to curl some locks of hair near the front of her face. When she finished, Michelle relaxed. “How is it being married while you’re in college? Matt and I were gonna wait until after college, but it’s a long time to wait.”

  “It can be hard sometimes, I guess.”

  “But coming home and seeing the man you love helps, right? You’d still rather be together than apart?”

  I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Sure, especially when he’s got dinner ready before you get home.”

  “Well, I found out that Matt’s been learning to cook. He said he wants to do me a special dinner every so often.”

  I smiled. “You see. Marriage will be good.” I looked toward the door. I had to get away before Michelle asked me another question about marriage. “I’m just going to the bathroom.”

  I took the elevator down to the ground floor and walked around looking for a bathroom. I found the men’s bathroom, and I expected the ladies to be next to it. It wasn’t.

  I decided to go back to the reception hall. Jace was standing at the door when I got there. He smiled.

  “Um, where’s the ladies bathroom?” I asked.

  “Follow me,” Jace said. He led me down the corridor and through a set of double doors.

  “You could’ve just given me directions, but thanks anyway,” I said.

  “No problem. I’ll wait out here for you.”

  “You don’t have to wait. I can find my way back.” I pushed into the bathroom. Since I didn’t really need it, I walked over to the huge mirrors to check my makeup.

  Before I got to the wedding, I had wanted to see Jace, but now that I’d seen him, I wished I hadn’t. I didn’t want to talk to him either.

  I touched up my makeup and perused the perfume counter and found the fragrance I was wearing today: Marc Jacobs’ Lola. I sprayed myself and then walked over to the makeup counter to check it out. It was pretty impressive. The bathroom even had a skincare and a hair section. I guess you didn’t have to worry about packing your hair dryer and straighteners or anything if you were staying at the Glacier.

  Jace was still in the hallway when I emerged, but he was talking to a bunch of people who looked like they’d just arrived. “Lexi, I’d like to talk to you before you leave,” he said.

  “Okay.” I walked back to the reception hall.

  ***

  I looked at Carl’s watch. “Wow, it’s late!” I exclaimed. It was almost midnight, but I didn’
t want to go home. I let Carl steer me toward the exit of the Glacier hotel. He seemed in a hurry to leave.

  “Not so fast, Lexi,” Monica said, coming after me and Carl. She had Jace and Tanya with her. “Give me your new address.” Monica handed me her phone.

  “We’ve just moved into a new house. We don’t know our address by heart yet,” Carl said.

  We did know our address, but I agreed with Carl just to save myself any trouble. Tanya looked at him momentarily. I think she could tell that he was lying. She pulled me into a hug. “Lovely seeing you again.”

  “You, too.”

  “Take care of yourself, Lexi,” Jace said. He’d been all over the place with his ushering duties, and we hadn’t had a chance to have our talk. He’d sent me a text though saying: I’m in LA all summer. Hope we get a chance to meet up. Isaiah 61:1-3. He must have got my number from Monica.

  I could sense Carl’s eyes boring into the back of my head, so I just ignored Jace. “Hope to see you soon, Monica.”

  “Yeah, we’re all home until college starts again in the fall, so we should try to meet up,” Monica said.

  Carl pulled me back into his arms as soon as I stepped away from Monica. “We have to go now,” he announced.

  We said our goodbyes, and then Carl and I went to get our car. When we got home, Carl went to bed straight away, but I sat in the den for a while watching TV.

  After a while, I went to the study and found my Bible. I used the index to find Isaiah 61:

  “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

  To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

  To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.”

  I read it again, trying to understand it. Eventually I went to bed. I lay beside Carl unable to sleep, thinking about verse three. It was the first Bible verse that I actually liked.

  I wanted beauty for ashes, so what was stopping me from accepting God? He’s been unfair to me, I reminded myself. If life were a game of cards, God had dealt me a terrible hand.

  ***

  My phone rang from the other side of the room, and I got out of bed to answer it. I glanced at the clock and was shocked to see that it was noon. I wondered where Carl was. “Hello?” I answered.

  “Morning,” Monica sang. “Wanna do lunch?”

  “Sure.”

  “Cool, I’ll see if Tanya wants to come too.”

  “We’re not doing Indian, are we?”

  “No. I was thinking we should go to Piccolo Italia.”

  I turned to the mirror and fiddled with my hair, which was still stiff from all yesterday’s hairspray. “What time?”

  “Say one thirty? Because you sound like you just rolled out of bed.”

  “One thirty is good.”

  I hung up, and my phone rang again almost immediately. It was Shawna. “‘Sup girl?”

  “Have you just woken up?”

  “Yeah, I didn’t get home from the wedding until past midnight.”

  “I guess you don’t want to do lunch then?”

  “I’m actually going with a couple friends from high school. You can come too though. They’re Christians, so you’ll fit right in.”

  “Hmm, I don’t do lunch with strangers unless absolutely necessary.”

  “You’ll love Monica and Tanya.”

  “Tanya what?”

  “Washington.”

  “Really? Tanya’s my girl. I didn’t know she was back yet.”

  “You know Tanya?”

  “Yeah, we both used to volunteer at a blind people’s center.”

  “Well it’s a small world. So are you coming? One-thirty at Piccolo Italia.”

  “Okay, see you there.”

  ***

  “Trust Monica to organize this and then show up last,” I said, opening my menu.

  “I know.” Tanya looked at my menu. “Let’s just order, because I’m starved.”

  “I can’t believe you know Lexi too,” Shawna said. “Really, this is just great.”

  Tanya nudged me in the ribs. “You’re surrounded by Christians, Lexi. You hate us, but you can’t seem to get away from us. We’re everywhere you go. You should just surrender.”

  “Yeah,” Shawna giggled. “Give it up.”

  “Hey, stop nudging me like that. I’m pregnant.”

  Tanya’s mouth dropped. “Sorry! Oh my goodness! Congratulations!”

  “Thanks.” I grinned. I was definitely keeping this baby, so I may as well tell the girls about it.

  “Wow, Lexi, that’s amazing,” Shawna said. “When are you due?”

  “Not sure. I just found out a few days ago.” I rubbed my side where Tanya had nudged me.

  “Sorry, did I hurt you?” Tanya asked.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  Just then Monica breezed in. “Sorry I’m late, girls. Some guy was trying to get my number in the parking lot. But here I am! Have you ordered?” She picked up a menu and started to fan herself.

  “No, we were about to,” Tanya answered.

  “I wish they’d turn up the air conditioning in this place. I’m gonna combust,” Monica wailed, almost slapping herself in the face with her menu.

  Tanya signaled a waiter over, and we placed our orders. Monica asked the waiter to turn up the AC.

  “You’ve just earned yourself a mouthful of saliva in your drink,” Tanya told her.

  “I thought I was very polite.”

  “Yeah, I thought she was polite enough,” Shawna agreed. “I’m Shawna by the way.”

  Monica grinned. “I’m Monica.”

  “Have you spoken to Spencer?” Monica asked Tanya.

  “Yeah, he called me about an hour ago. He arrived in New York safely.”

  “When am I going to meet Spencer?” Shawna asked. “On your wedding day?”

  “You’ll meet him next time he comes to LA,” Tanya promised.

  “And when will that be?”

  “Christmas. He’s coming to meet my parents.”

  “Spencer is pretty cute,” I said, remembering the tall guy Tanya had introduced me to.

  Tanya grinned. “I know.”

  “What’s his surname again?” I asked.

  “Caldwell.”

  “Tanya Caldwell,” Shawna teased. “Nice.”

  “Can we not talk about fiancé’s and husbands? I feel so single,” Monica wailed.

  “Enjoy it while it lasts,” I advised her. “I wish I was still single.”

  Monica’s eyes sharpened. “Why? Isn’t it working out with you and Carl?”

  “That’s a story for another day,” I said. “But my advice to you all is to just be careful. Make sure you’re marrying a good guy and make sure you’re one hundred percent convinced that you’re not making a mistake. Pray about it, or whatever it is that you do.”

  Shawna raised her eyebrows. “That’s very sound advice, especially coming from someone who doesn’t believe in God herself.”

  Our drinks arrived, and my stomach grumbled.

  “Hungry?” Monica asked with a smile.

  I nodded. I wished they’d hurry up with our food. I sipped my ice-cold water. “How’s Sam?” I asked Shawna.

  Shawna screwed up her nose slightly. “He’s cool.”

  “Got a wedding date yet?”

  “Things are a bit weird between us at the moment.”

  I was surprised. “Things are weird between you and Sam?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Wow, I thought you guys were like Barbie and Ken. Thought ya’ll were perfect.”

  “Well, we’re not. We have our m
oments too.”

  I don’t know why, but that really shocked me.

  “He’s transferring to New York in three weeks, and he hasn’t said anything to me about us. I think it’s over.”

  “Sam’s not like that,” Tanya said. “He’ll tell you if it’s over.”

  Shawna’s eyes got a little watery, but she blinked it away. “I really don’t know what’s going on with him.”

  “Would you move to New York with him?” Tanya asked.

  “Only if we set a wedding date. It has to be concrete, or there’s no point following him to New York. I’ve had enough garbage from guys in the past. I’m not taking it anymore.” Shawna played with her engagement ring. “He’s leaving in three weeks, and he still hasn’t said anything. I’m guessing he isn’t going to. He wouldn’t leave it so late. I know it’s over.”

  “I’m sure it isn’t,” I said encouragingly. The first time I’d met Sam, he’d told me that he was getting married soon.

  “Maybe.” Shawna didn’t look convinced. “Just going the bathroom.”

  “Listen, ya’ll,” Tanya said gleefully when Shawna left the table. “Sam is gonna ask her to transfer to New York with him on Friday. I spoke to him the other day. He wants to marry her in January.”

  “Really?” I said delightedly. “So why’s he leaving her in suspense?”

  “He told me he knows it’ll be a big decision for her to make, so he’s scared that she’s going to say no. He doesn’t think she wants to leave LA.”

  “How can he not see that Shawna’s crazy about him?”

  “I don’t know. He said he’s waiting for the right time to ask her, and I told him to just set a date to tell her, or he never will. So he said he’ll tell her on Friday.”

  “What are you all smiling about?” Shawna asked when she got back.

  “Nothing,” we all chorused. Shawna looked at us suspiciously.

  “Don’t worry about Sam,” Tanya advised. “When is the next time you’re seeing him?”

  “Friday, I guess. We’re going shopping because he wants my advice for a present he’s getting his parents for their wedding anniversary.”

  “Friday? Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you guys will work it out.”

  Shawna nodded, and Tanya changed the subject. By the time we were leaving the restaurant, Shawna had cheered up.