Autobiography of Mark Twain: The Complete and Authoritative Edition, Volume 1

by Mark Twain

  409.1–17 Wood was an army surgeon . . . the Senate hadn’t spirit enough to repudiate it] Clemens’s commentary on Wood and Roosevelt reflected his 1903 “Major General Wood, M.D.,” a “pretty pison article” which he originally planned to submit for publication in the North American Review or Harper’s Weekly, but suppressed (30 Dec 1903 to Duneka, MoSW). In it he pretended to advocate for Wood’s elevation to major general:

  I think that the President’s delight in the history of him and the character of him and the smell of him ought to be considered; I think that Dr. Wood’s distinguished “expectations,” and spurious medals, and shady silver-plate, and furtive in subordinations, and clandestine libels, and frank falsehoods, pimping for gambling hells, and destitution of honor and dignity, taken together with his devoted and diligent labors in seeking a great place which has not sought him, have earned it and entitled him to it. (SLC 1903e, TS p. 3)

  On 7 December 1903 the Senate “had two legislative days, one in the expiring session and one in the new session,” and in the interval between them Roosevelt reappointed Wood and 167 other officers, considering them to be “recess appointments.” On 18 March, Wood was confirmed as a major general by the Senate (New York Times: “Special Session Is Merged into Regular. President Roosevelt Decides for ‘Constructive Recess,’ ” 8 Dec 1903, 1; “Wood’s Nomination Is Confirmed by Senate,” 19 Mar 1904, 5).

  Autobiographical Dictation, 15 March 1906

  409.18 Monday, March 5, 1906] The events discussed in this dictation on 15 March had been reported in the newspapers ten days earlier.

  409.27 POLICE HUSTLE CROWD AWAITING MARK TWAIN] This article from the New York Times of 5 March was pasted into the typescript of the dictation.

  410.29 Rev. Dr. Charles P. Fagnani] Fagnani (1854–1941) held degrees in arts, science and law. In 1882 he was ordained a Presbyterian minister, and since 1892 had taught Hebrew at the Union Theological Seminary in New York, later becoming associate professor of Old Testament literature (“Dr. Fagnani, 86, Dies in Occupied France,” New York Times, 7 Jan 1941, 25).

  410.40–41 Mark Twain . . . was greeted with a storm of applause] Clemens’s talk, entitled “Reminiscences,” was preceded by a lengthy program of several other speakers, a singer (Anna Taylor Jones, contralto), a “mixed string-and-piano-band” (the Misses Kleckhoefer), and a Bible reader, causing him to cut his planned talk by half an hour (see AD, 3 Apr 1906; “Y.M.C.A. Meetings,” New York Globe and Commercial Advertiser, 3 Mar 1906, 15). Versions of the speech were published under the title “Layman’s Sermon” (MTS 1910, 136–39; MTS 1923, 281–83; see also Fatout 1976, 492–95).

  411.4 Dr. Russell spoke of organization] After the audience was seated and the police had dispersed the remaining crowd outside, Rev. Dr. Howard H. Russell (1855–1946), superintendent of the national Anti-Saloon League,

  denounced the affair from the platform as a police outrage, and said that respectable citizens had been jabbed in the ribs with night sticks to make them move on, when there was no opportunity to move on.

  An impromptu indignation meeting was held on the platform, and there was much talk of resolutions passed against the police. They would have passed, but Mark Twain killed them. He began to talk about the individual’s duty as a citizen.

  “Don’t try to infringe on other people’s rights,” he said, “or take responsibilities on your shoulders that you should not. But if others should try to trample on you, then assert your citizenship. When you resolve to do a thing, do it, but I heard Dr. Russell speak of resolutions about the police. I don’t believe in denouncing the whole police force for the fault of one man.” (“Fight to See Twain,” New York Tribune, 5 Mar 1906, 1; “Hurt in Crush to Hear Mark Twain,” New York Morning Telegraph, 5 Mar 1906, 1)

  411.5–6 When they say ‘Step lively,’ remember it is not an insult from a conductor to you personally] In 1892, the Railroad Gazette noted: “On the Manhattan Elevated the injunction of the trainmen to ‘step lively’ has become a by-word, and they doubtless find the duty of reiterating it thousands of times very irksome, but it is only by this constant spurring at all points that a great passenger movement can be accomplished with punctuality” (“Step Lively,” New York Times, 27 Dec 1892, 3).

  411.11–12 I was traveling from Chicago with my publisher and stenographer . . . and engaged a stateroom on a certain train] Other reports of this speech make clear that Clemens said that he was “in Chicago . . . about to depart for New York” and that the publisher was James R. Osgood. The “stenographer” was Roswell H. Phelps. The three men traveled together in 1882, when Clemens gathered material for Life on the Mississippi (“Ten Thousand Stampede at a Mark Twain Meeting,” New York Herald, 5 Mar 1906, 1).

  411.25 Mr. Thomson of the Pennsylvania] Between 1882 and 1899, Frank Thomson (1841–99) served as second vice-president, first vice-president, and president of the Pennsylvania Railroad.

  412.7–10 I think it damaged my speech for Miss Lyon . . . I knew that she knew it] Isabel Lyon recorded her impressions that evening; Clemens’s young friend Gertrude Natkin also attended:

  Today we went up to the Majestic Theatre[,] Mr. Clemens & mother & I . . . But the main thing is that Gertrude was there, “that darling child.” We went in the stage door & for a very long time Gertrude didn’t arrive. Mr. Clemens’s look of disappointment made me heartsick & feebly I tried to find the child in that vast crowd. It was a Christian crowd; but as I turned away from a big burly young man who had tried to gain admittance & had failed, I heard him say: “Just my God damn luck!” . . . Mr. Clemens’s talk was lovely & brave & strong & instructive & humorous. No one else in all the world can combine all those qualities with such great wonderful personal charm. . . . He seems never to be aware of himself. (Lyon 1906, 63)

  412.16 letter from William Dean Howells] Howells’s letter was dated 28 February 1906 (CSmH, in MTHL, 2:801–2).

  412.39–40 So may I be courteous . . . the path I trod] Clemens paraphrased the final lines of “A Song” by Clarence Urmy (1858–1923), which was printed in the March 1906 issue of Harper’s Bazar and quoted many times subsequently, often without attribution (Urmy 1906):

  I shall not pass this way again,

  May I be courteous to men,

  Faithful to friends, true to my God,

  A fragrance on the path I trod.

  412.41–42 At the funeral I saw Patrick’s family . . . The children were men and women] Clemens attended McAleer’s funeral at the Cathedral of St. Joseph on Farmington Avenue in Hartford on the morning of 28 February, and “took his place” with the pallbearers “going in and coming out.” The McAleers’ four surviving children (out of nine)—Michael, William, Alice, and Anne—attended the funeral with their families (Twichell 1874–1916, entry for 27 Feb 1906, 7:126; Hartford Courant: “Coachman Many Years for Mark Twain,” 26 Feb 1906, 6; “Mark Twain Pays Tribute to Servant,” 28 Feb 1906, 3; Hartford Census: 1880, 117; 1900, 8B; 1910, 7B; see AD, 1 Feb 1906, note at 322.31–42).

  413.4 John, our old gardener] John O’Neil (b. 1848) took care of the grounds and greenhouse at the Clemenses’ Hartford house during the 1880s, and from 1891 to 1900, when the family was in Europe (Hartford Census 1900, 1A).

  413.6–9 at the Hartford Club I met, at a luncheon, eleven of my oldest friends . . . Welch] The Hartford Club, which Clemens joined in 1881, was organized in 1873 for “the promotion of social intercourse, art and literature” (Hartford Club 2009). Before he left New York for the funeral, Clemens asked Charles H. Clark to “assemble some Cheneys & Twichells & other friends at Hartford Club Thursday & lunch them & me at my expense” (26 Feb 1906 to Clark, TxU). In addition to Clark, the guests were Judge William Hamersley, Colonel Frank W. Cheney, Samuel G. Dunham, Rev. Joseph H. Twichell, Rev. Dr. Edwin Pond Parker, Charles E. Perkins, Archibald A. Welch, Rev. Dr. Francis Goodwin, Franklin G. Whitmore, and Dr. E. K. Root (“Mr. Clemens Lunches with Friends,” Hartford Courant, 14 March 1906, 4). Frank Woodbridge Cheney (1832–1909), a lieutenant colone
l in the Civil War who had been wounded at Antietam, served as head of Cheney Brothers silk manufacturers, as a director of the Connecticut Mutual Life Insurance Company for more than thirty years, and as a director of the New York, New Haven, and Hartford Railroad for seven years (Connecticut Biography 1917, 277–80; “Death of Colonel Cheney,” Hartford Courant, 5 June 1909, 5). Archibald Ashley Welch (1859–1935), prominent in many civic organizations, was in 1906 second vice-president of the Phoenix Mutual Life Insurance Company (Burpee 1928, 3:1062–65). Dr. Edward K. Root (b. 1856), a Hartford physician and Charles Clark’s brother-in-law, served on the Hartford Board of Health, the State Board of Health, and as medical director of the Connecticut Mutual Life Insurance Company (“Dr. Edward K. Root,” Hartford Courant, 24 Oct 1899, 8; Hartford Census 1900, 8B).

  413.12 Rev. Dr. McKnight] Clemens probably refers to the Rev. Dr. George H. McKnight (b. 1830) of Elmira’s Episcopal Trinity Church, who earned his A.M. degree at Hobart College in 1851 and his D.D. at Hamilton College in 1873. McKnight performed the marriage ceremony for Charles J. Langdon (Olivia’s brother) and Ida B. Clark in October 1870 (Towner 1892, 287–88; Chemung Census 1900, 14B; 13 Oct 1870 to Fairbanks, L4, 208–9).

  413.33–35 when Sir Thomas Lipton came . . . to race for the America cup, I . . . Mr. Rogers and half a dozen other worldlings] On 3 October 1901, Clemens and Twichell joined Henry H. Rogers and his other guests on the Kanawha, which left Sandy Hook, New Jersey, to follow the second race of the series between the American yacht Columbia and Sir Thomas Lipton’s Shamrock II. Lipton (1850–1931), knighted by Queen Victoria in 1898, was famous for his grocery chain, tea shops, and charitable works. This was his second challenge (out of five) for the America’s Cup between 1899 and 1930 (HHR, 474; “Sir Thomas Gives Up Hope,” New York Times, 4 Oct 1901, 1; Twichell 1874–1916, entry for 2–3 Oct 1901, 7:105–6).

  414.8–9 name of Richard Croker, the celebrated Tammany leader] Croker (1843–1922), acknowledged as Tammany boss after 1884, had brought about the elections of the subsequent three New York Democratic mayors. In September 1901, when Croker had just returned from ten months abroad, the newspapers were filled with stories and speculation about his influence on the upcoming mayoral election, and two recently published books were reviewed in the New York Times: a complimentary biography of Croker by Alfred Henry Lewis, and a book by Gustavus Myers that included two chapters on Croker and was highly critical of Tammany Hall’s unbroken record of corruption and graft (“About Tammany Hall,” 7 Sept 1901, BR3; Alfred Henry Lewis 1901; Myers 1901; “Richard Croker Met by Tammany Leaders,” New York Times, 15 Sept 1901, 10).

  414.11–26 I knew his father very well indeed . . . do you take me for a God damned papist?] The Croker forebears, originally English and Protestant, had gone to Ireland with Cromwell. Twichell evidently assumed that the Crokers were Catholic because of their Irish ancestry. Richard Croker’s father, Eyre Coote Croker, a Presbyterian, emigrated to the United States with his family in 1846. He found work as a blacksmith and veterinary horse surgeon, and joined the Union army at the outbreak of the Civil War (Alfred Henry Lewis 1901, 5, 13–14; Lothrop Stoddard 1931, 2, 260–61; see AD, 17 Jan 1906, for Clemens’s remarks about General Sickles and the regiment in which Twichell and Croker served).

  417.5 dog let out a howl of anguish that could be heard beyond the frontier] The occasion on which Twichell’s Decoration Day (Memorial Day) speech was interrupted by the howling dog probably took place in the mid-1870s. In his notebooks, Clemens reminded himself several times in 1878 and after to make use of the incident (jotting down both “Joe Twichell’s Decoration-day prayer—‘G-d d—n that dog’ ” and an explanation for its howls, “He had a rat!”), and he did use it in chapter 27 of Huckleberry Finn, which one Hartford newspaper recognized when the book was published: “The ‘He had a rat’ story put into a funeral scene, where it actually occurred in this city, will be recognized by a number of Hartford people, who have had many hearty laughs at it in its chrysalis period” (“New Publications,” Hartford Evening Post, 17 Feb 1885, 3; HF 2003, 232–33, 443; N&J2, 58, 343; N&J3, 16, 92).

  Autobiographical Dictation, 16 March 1906

  417.19–23 I recall Mary Miller . . . this sorrow did not remain with me long] Clemens’s classmate Mary Miller (b. 1835?), who regularly competed with him for the spelling medal, was the eldest daughter of lumber merchant Thomas S. Miller (1807?–60) and Mary E. Miller (1812?–49). She was about the same age as Clemens, according to census records. She married Clemens’s friend and classmate John B. Briggs (Hannibal Courier: “Obituary,” 30 Aug 1849, unknown page; “Look Out for the Old Lumber Yard,” 4 Mar 1852, unknown page; Marion Census 1850, 307; Marion Census 1870, 447; “Good-Bye to Mark Twain,” Hannibal Courier-Post, 3 June 1902, 1).

  417.24–27 I soon transferred my worship to Artimisia Briggs . . . pestered by children] Artemissa (also spelled Artimissa, Artimisia, Artemesia, and Artemissia) Briggs (1832–1910), the elder sister of Clemens’s friend and classmate John B. Briggs, was the second of eight children of Rhoda Briggs (b. 1811?) and William Briggs (b. 1799?) (Marion Census 1850, 315–16; Marion Census 1860, 145; death certificate for Artemissia Briggs, Missouri Digital Heritage 2009a; Inds, 306–7).

  417.28–32 Mary Lacy . . . was a schoolmate . . . Four years ago she was still living, and had been married fifty years] Most likely, Clemens was confusing Mary Lacy with another schoolmate, Mary Nash. Mary Elizabeth Lacy (b. 1838?) was the daughter of John L. Lacy (1808?–83), who in 1850 worked as a pork packer to support his large family. She married Leonard Mefford in Hannibal on 31 May 1854 and by 1860 had two children (Marion Census 1850, 319; Marion Census 1860, 149; “Missouri Marriage Records, 1805–2002” 2009). In 1898 Clemens sketched a plan in his notebook to use her as a character in “Schoolhouse Hill,” the version of “The Mysterious Stranger” set in the fictional Hannibal, St. Petersburg. When Satan arrives on earth he finds that his son, little Satan, “has been rejected by Mary Lacy, who took him for crazy & who is now horribly sorry she didn’t jump at the chance, since she finds that the Holy Family of Hell are not disturbed by the fire, but only their guests. Satan is glad his boy didn’t marry beneath him—he is arranging with the shade of Pope Alexander VI to marry him to a descendant” (Notebook 40, TS pp. 51–52, CU-MARK). Mary Nash (b. 1832?) was the half-sister of Clemens’s friend Tom Nash. She married John Hubbard of Frytown in January 1851. In 1901, a year before Clemens’s Hannibal trip, he responded to an announcement of her fiftieth anniversary, “I remember the wedding very well, although it was 50 years ago; & I wish you & your husband joy of this anniversary of it” (13 Jan 1901 to Hubbard, MoHM). He planned to (but ultimately did not) use her as the model for two literary characters: in his working notes for “Tom Sawyer’s Conspiracy” he named her Mary Benton and characterized her as “wild”; and in his working notes for “Schoolhouse Hill” he called her Louisa Robbins and characterized her as “Mary Nash, bad.” He may have based the independent Rachel Hotchkiss, the title character in “Hellfire Hotchkiss,” on her as well (Inds, 214–59, 287–88, 134–213, 337; HH&T, 383; MSM, 431).

  417.33–34 Jimmy McDaniel was another schoolmate . . . His father kept the candy shop] James W. (Jimmy) McDaniel (1833–1911) was the son of William McDaniel (b. 1811?), who ran the confectionary and variety store in Hannibal, which advertised that the “Confectionary Department consists in all the finest varieties of Candy, Nuts, Raisins, Prunes, Dates, Figs, Currants, Citrons, fig Paste, Jellies, Preserves and many other articles too tedious to mention” (“Confectionary and Fancy Goods,” Hannibal Courier, 7 Oct 1852, unknown page). Jimmy worked as a bookseller at fifteen, a tobacconist before he was twenty, a salesman at his father’s store at thirty, and later a packer and manager of the Holmes-Dakin cigar company (Fother-ingham 1859, 40; Honeyman 1866, 37; Hallock 1877, 100; Stone, Davidson, and McIntosh 1885, 118, 150; Marion Census 1850, 310; death certificate for James W. McDaniel, Missouri Digital Heritage 2009a).

  418.2 Jim Wolf and the c
ats] See “Scraps from My Autobiography. From Chapter IX.”

  418.5 I saw him four years ago when I was out there] In 1902, the Hannibal newspaper reported that as Clemens

  was driving up Main street he espied James W. McDaniel, the old confectioner and greeted him with “Hello Jim, I’m truly glad to see you. Let me see that scalp of yours; what’s become of your hair?” Mr. Clemens and Mr. McDaniel used to be old chums and . . . although they had not met before in nearly forty years they recognized each other on sight. (“See[s] Points of Interest,” Hannibal Morning Journal, 30 May 1902, reprinted in the Hannibal Evening Courier-Post, 6 Mar 1935, 4B, transcript in CU-MARK)

  418.11–12 Artimisia Briggs . . . married Richmond . . . my Methodist Sunday-school teacher] In March 1853, at the age of twenty-one, Artemissa Briggs married the local bricklayer, William J. Marsh (b. 1815?), not Joshua Richmond (b. 1816?), the stone mason. Richmond married Angelina Matilda Cook (b. 1829?) in January 1849; he taught Clemens’s earliest Sunday school class at Hannibal’s Methodist Old Ship of Zion Church, on the public square (Marion Census 1860, 145; Fotheringham 1859, 39; Ellsberry 1965b, 1:10; Wecter 1952, 183, 305 n. 15; Inds, 95, 344; “Married,” Hannibal Missouri Courier, 18 Jan 1849, unknown page).