Dare Me Forever (A Solana Beach Book)

by Paige Edward

  CHAPTER 18

  Amy

  I realized I was humming Katy Perry’s “Firework” to myself the next morning. I was making myself a little sick with all this cheesiness—who knew a hot night would make me so corny. A bit of fresh air would do me some good and because my store was only a thirty minute walk away, I decided to leave my car at home. It was a gorgeous day and I didn’t need to be there until 10:30 to open at 11 am.

  I got dressed in a sweet floral dress I hadn’t worn since last spring, and cute ankle boots that Jaime had convinced me were a “must buy.” I looked in the mirror and for the first time in a long time, I looked really happy. My cheeks were flushed and my long brown hair hung in loose waves, just above my chest, my bangs shaggy rockstar long, framing my almond shaped eyes. Even my hair looked better today. A little nooky and look at me now. I smoothed on a little light pink lip gloss.

  I left the house, locking the door behind me. I detoured a few blocks so that I could walk along the road that ran parallel to the ocean. I could walk almost the whole way to Ocean Avenue, smelling the salty sweet sea air. I put in the earbuds so I could rock out while I walked. I was really into Demi Lovato these days.

  The waves were pretty small at low tide, and I could see avid beach goers already setting up their stations. What was with it with the overly tan old men in their tiny speedos? Gross, but funny in a TMI sort of way. Walking along the path, I thought I heard my name. I stopped “Heart Attack” right in the middle of the part where she sings Never put my love out on the line, Never said yes to the right guy, Never had trouble getting what I want… and turned around.

  Hunter was running up behind me, shirtless, his body lean and tight. “Amy, I’ve been calling your name for like five minutes,” he said breathing hard. Seeing him looking this good, I was suddenly glad I’d dressed up for work, but then was immediately embarrassed that I even cared. I didn’t need to impress Hunter.

  “I’m on my way to the store. How long is your run?” I asked.

  “It’s over now,” he said smiling. “I’ll walk with you.” Hunter hadn’t paid this much attention to me since we first started dating at the end of junior year of high school—well that is if you didn’t count the barbeque and then coming into the store opening day. I was flattered but also confused. What did he want?

  He put his hand on my shoulder and massaged it gently. “Ames, you got even hotter since high school, hell you’ve gotten hotter since the barbeque.” I pushed him gently in a joking way. Feeling his hard chest, I blushed. I remembered lying in his bed senior year, his face above mine, our bodies pressed against each other. The rhythmic thrusting, the grabbing, the kissing. It was a pretty great image. I shook my head, trying to push my thoughts away from the X-rated.

  Hunter didn’t seem to notice. He cleared his throat. “I’ve been meaning to call, just been so busy at work. Thanks again for holding my parent’s present. The office is killing me. We’ve been negotiating this big deal, and there is this new person who makes everything difficult.” Hunter narrowed his eyes, as his body tensed up, but then he visibly relaxed again. “What are you doing tomorrow night? We should go out--for old times’ sake”

  I squinted my eyes. I knew I should ask him about Jennifer again, because after all if she wasn’t his girlfriend, she did a fine job pretending to be at his parents’ party. I wanted to believe that Hunter was telling the truth, but since he started dating someone else a day after dumping me or more likely even before our breakup, it wasn’t that easy to put my trust in him. He’d been a cheater—he liked toying with peoples’ affections like a cat playing with its prey.

  But then again, he had already shown me how much he had changed since high school. Prom was a long time ago, and I knew I wasn’t the same person as I was then—it wasn’t totally fair not to extend the benefit of the doubt to him.

  I took a breath. Luke was at school and I had my new business. This was the start of something new. I didn’t want to be the misanthropic ex-girlfriend. I wanted to be the kind of person who trusted people. If Hunter said he and Jennifer were over, then I’d try to believe him. I also felt a swooping sensation of guilt as I thought about Ryan and the amazing night we’d spent together. But I quickly suppressed it. Hunter wasn’t even asking me out on a date. More like a get together, a catch-up. In fact, if it wasn’t just that, I wasn’t interested in going.

  Even as I thought that, I knew I might be fooling myself. But I was tired of over thinking things, of being so good, and cautious. Plus plenty of people went on platonic dates with their ex’s, reminiscing, finding out what was happening in both their lives now.

  “You know that Italian place in Del Mar?” Hunter asked. “Let’s go there. I’ll pick you up at 8.”

  “That sounds great,” I agreed. Hunter’s phone buzzed. He looked down, frowned, but didn’t answer.

  I was determined not to think about this get together. I’d go to dinner and have a good time and that would be that. But I couldn’t wait to see Jamie’s face when I told her about Hunter’s invitation. She wasn’t going to believe this. I guess it’s true what they say, when it rains it pours.

  It had to be a friend date, because I couldn’t stop thinking of Ryan, his hands on my body, our connection, and the promise of more.

  CHAPTER 19

  Amy

  After a busy day at the store, the very last person I wanted to talk to was my mother. But just as I was settling in to start my Say Yes to the Dress marathon, my phone rang. If I didn’t pick it up, she’d just call and call just like she had a week ago. Plus there really was never a time that I’d actually want to talk, so I might as well deal with the inevitable, I thought, picking up the phone. She’d been calling so much more often lately.

  “Dahling,” my mother cooed. She’d recently been in England and seemed to have picked up a bit of an affectation. “I’m going to be in Solana Beach next week and I’d love to take you out to dinner, just us girls.” There was never a question whether or not I’d join her. She was like a bulldozer--better just step out of the way, or she’d run you over. My Mother knew how to ask for what she wanted and she was used to always getting her way.

  “Sure,” I agreed, trying to put a smile in my voice. Miranda was so much easier to deal with if I just played along. “Although I’m sure Luke would want to come,” I added. Luke didn’t like our mom, but he also didn’t harbor as much anger towards her as I did. I’d protected him from the most terrible things she’d done. He had also been so young when our happy family had shattered apart—maybe he just couldn’t remember what he had missed out on. Or maybe he was just a more forgiving person than me.

  We agreed to have dinner, and after she told me about her latest party, complained about “the help,” (I really had to bite my tongue there), and lamented the state of something that I was too bored to process, she finally let me go.

  And not a minute too soon as there was only so much patience I could muster. I made myself a huge bowl of popcorn, adding lots of salt and butter. I deserved it after that phone call. I sat down on my comfy sofa, and turned the DVR on to relax in the oddly comforting rhythm of watching strangers buy their wedding dresses. Randy was, as usual, counseling a despondent bride who cried about the loss of her mother, that she couldn’t be with her for this special day. I got a little teary eyed, but then I tried not to laugh as images of Miranda in Kleinfeld Bridal flitted through my mind. As it switched to commercials, the phone rang.

  If it was my mother again, I wouldn’t pick up, I thought as I fast-forwarded through the commercial break. I looked at caller ID and saw unknown number. I’d given out my cell number to a few clients before the store was up and running, so I picked up.

  “Amy.” Ryan’s low voice washed over me. I felt myself smiling like an idiot—just from a phone call! I could hardly imagine what I would be doing if he were here.

  “Hi.” My voice sounded a bit wobbly, breathless.

  He took a deep breath, and in his perfect accent sai
d, “I can’t get you off my mind.”

  I didn’t know how to respond. Obviously I felt the same way, but the butterflies in my stomach were doing a crazy dance, and I wanted to sound coherent when I responded. There was a silence, which stretched on for a little too long.

  “Ryan,” I finally said, my voice raw and true, “I feel the same way.”

  “Could I take you to dinner?” he asked. Before I could answer, he said something else that had my stomach doing somersaults and backflips.

  “I want you.”

  His voice was almost a too low to hear. Shivers ran up and down my arms. Suddenly I no longer wanted popcorn between my lips. I craved Ryan’s kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth, his hands on my body.

  We agreed to meet the next night. I was just about to hang up, when I remembered I’d already made plans with Hunter. I tried to stifle a groan. What I really wanted to see Ryan right then, preferably naked. “Wait,” I said quickly before he could end the call on his side, “I actually just realized I have plans tomorrow—can we find another time?”

  “Oh, erm,” Ryan began, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice, “of course. How about Saturday?”

  I agreed. It was just a few more days. Like Ryan, I felt disappointed, deflated like a balloon. But maybe the anticipation would make the date even better. I didn’t remember ever feeling this turned on by anybody, especially just from hearing that someone’s voice over the phone. We said goodnight.

  I walked into the kitchen to drink a glass of cold water—I didn’t want to be so visibly flustered—but then I remembered that I had the house to myself. A mischievous smile crept across my face. I didn’t have to keep my cool for anyone.

  I practically ran into my bedroom, opened the bed side drawer, and found my silver bullet. As I tugged at the waistband of my pajama pants, I thought of Ryan’s mouth on mine, imagined him trailing kisses down the body, grabbing at my breasts with those incredible hands. I turned on the little device. Licking, kissing, biting, until at last I pictured him between my legs, his mouth teasing me.

  I rubbed the vibrator against my center. I imagined his tongue flicking my spot, his lips sucking mine. I felt my breath sharpening, and couldn’t control my moaning. I came with a great release and sat panting on the bed for a few minutes. If just thinking about him could make me so incredibly turned on, I was afraid and excited at what kind of ecstasy would happen when we were in private again.

  CHAPTER 20

  Amy

  The restaurant Hunter had picked was surprisingly crowded and really beautiful. It was mostly couples or double dates, and the atmosphere was festive. Hunter looked undeniably handsome in his jeans and chambray button down shirt. He was one of those people who exude sexuality. It was hard not to imagine what it would feel like to slowly unbutton his shirt with my teeth, and then scolded myself for my dirty thoughts. What was I, some horny teenager? We are just friends, I reminded myself. Friends catching up after a long time. And I was already developing real feelings for Ryan. I guess when you start getting turned on so regularly, it’s hard not to think about sex all the time.

  The host tried to seat us near the middle of the room, but Hunter stopped him and asked for a table outside off to one corner. He didn’t seem relaxed like he had when I’d last seen him. His jaw was set and rigid and he kept unlocking his phone, glancing at it for a second, then putting it to sleep. Was he expecting somebody to call? I hoped a glass of wine or a beer would chill him out. Maybe this reunion wasn’t such a good idea after all. I should have just pretended to be busy when we’d run into each other yesterday.

  “You okay?” I asked tentatively. I didn’t want to go all emo on him, but he seemed really stressed. At first Hunter remained silent, but as soon as they were seated and the host had walked away, he took a deep breath.

  “I’m fine,” he said, although he still looked distracted through his smile and his voice still sounded tight. He’d had moods likes this when we dated. I tried to look at him now, and remember how he was the first guy I’d ever loved, but even now the feeling of dread when he’d get all silent on me was there, just as clear as if we’d dated yesterday. Sure I’d had crushes before, but I hadn’t really given myself to someone until I was with him. That’s why his moods affected me so much. It seemed like if he was happy then I was happy, if he was upset, I was too.

  And of course it got worse after I’d lost my virginity to him. I felt more attached than before, more dependent on his satisfaction for my own happiness than I ever had been. I took a sip of water and moved my thoughts elsewhere. I had promised myself not to dwell on that now. Tonight was for catching up with my old friend. But I could only do that if he relaxed.

  “So tell me what is going on? What did you do after UT?” I asked. Hunter had gone away to college in Texas, while I’d stayed local to take care of Luke while I studied.

  Hunter chuckled. “I worked for a few contractors there, who were working on projects with my dad in Austin and Dallas. It was good to learn the business away from my dad’s shadow. And now of course, I’m back and helping him run it.” Hunter smiled, his grin looking satisfied, confident. He seemed to have loosened up a bit.

  “We’re working on a big project on the water front.” Hunter gestured towards the water.

  “I know,” I said, “Ryan told me.” I opened my mouth to speak again, but I noticed Hunter’s face grow hard at the mention of Ryan’s name.

  “Ryan,” he repeated, his tone clipped. “How do you know him?” His voice laced with anger like poison. I’d thought the animosity between them was just something that happened that day at the party—a spilled drink, a toe stepped on—not some long lasting feud. The way he was asking, it felt like we were back in high school, and he was furiously jealous of some other guy.

  “I met him at your party, remember?” I replied, “Not that it’s any of your business.”

  Before either of us could say any more, the server returned, asking for our drink orders. Hunter ordered a bottle of wine. Good thing I didn’t say anything about the fundraiser, I thought. Not that I’d ever tell him what actually happened there, under the table. Or after. But who knew Hunter would make such a big deal of me even mentioning Ryan’s name?

  “Oh right, well let’s not talk about work tonight. I’ve been meaning to tell you, you look amazing. It’s been too long, Ames. You still are the Cherry on Top.” I blushed. It was cheesy, but he always used to call to me that when we were dating in high school. It was an inside joke—we used to go to have ice cream sundaes at a diner near school, very 1950s, and he always asked for the unmanly maraschino cherry on his ice cream. I teased him about it. Thus the nickname.

  But I had to admit, for all his moodiness, it was comfortable to be sitting across from him again. Our shared history, the fact that he knew my family, had known them even before everything went to shit. He’d even been like a big brother to Luke for a while, playing football in the front yard and teasing him about girls.

  His phone rang. “Oh Amy, I have to get this. I’ll be right back.” He walked to the other corner of the patio. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it seemed sort of rude for him to answer the phone during dinner. Couldn’t it wait?

  When Hunter returned to the table and went back to talking about living in Texas, and how he was glad to be back in California, near the ocean, close to his friends from growing up, I thought about what would have happened if we’d stayed together. What if he hadn’t broken up with me that night, six years ago? What would my life look like today? I really couldn’t imagine it.

  There was so much about my life right now that had come from a lot of hard work and sacrifice. With him maybe I wouldn’t have spent so much time thinking about what I wanted to do with myself. Who knows? Well it doesn’t matter, I reminded myself. That’s not what happened. I pulled myself back to the present. Hunter hadn’t even noticed that I wasn’t paying full attention to him, so I let my mind wander once more. If we hadn’t broken up, I also
wouldn’t have had the opportunity to try things out with Ryan. I knew it was still really early days, but the way I felt when I was with him had to mean something.

  After a delicious dinner of spicy pasta arrabiata, roasted peppers, and a totally overwhelming and decadent tiramisu, we were super full and ready to go. As we walked back through the restaurant, Hunter put his hand on my lower back, guiding me towards the front door. Just in front of us stood a couple waiting to be seated. The man was handsome, looked like a cool surfer turned entrepreneur, and his date had the most gorgeous chestnut hair, framing her face in perfect loose curls.

  “Craig, hey,” Hunter said, dropping his hand from my back, but not before lingering briefly on my backside. It was a light touch, probably accidental, I told myself. He had a few quick words with Craig, something about a recent poker game, while I stood off to the side. Craig glanced over at me and smiled, but since Hunter apparently didn’t feel the need to introduce me, I didn’t try to insert myself into the conversation.

  I felt kind of awkward standing there not saying anything, but I guess it didn’t really matter. I turned towards Craig’s date, determined to strike up a conversation while the two men talked. But when I looked over at her, she glared at me. There goes that plan. I couldn’t remember having met her, or for that matter done anything to deserve such a look.

  Hunter hurried us to his car, a sleek Audi A-5 coupe, which he had parked down the block. He seemed tense again, just like he had at the start of the evening. I hoped it had nothing to do with work or what I’d said about Ryan. As he started the car, Hunter cleared his throat, and I held my breath, worried about what he was going to say. “Hey, Ames, uh—” he cleared his throat again “—do you want to drive out to the beach?”

  That was not what I was expecting. I chewed on my lip. I didn’t feel that way about him. He’d broken my heart years ago, and even though I was over it, I knew I couldn’t go down that road again. No matter how gorgeous Hunter was, with his dirty blond hair, and taut body. I remembered how he liked me to dig my nails into his back when he entered me, but I brushed the thought away before letting it go too far. Thinking like that wouldn’t help me say no to the beach. Besides, I didn’t know what was happening with Ryan, but I was excited about what could be. And I had work to do anyway, wedding invitations and a retirement party, due in the next couple of days.