Carved in Ice (Made of Steel Series Book 3)

by Ivy Smoak

  There were the riddles again. I swallowed hard. “Is it you?”

  Dr. Miller smiled. “I need to get going.”

  “Is it you?” I asked again.

  He stood up. “You’re my patient. That would be crossing a line, don’t you think? Go visit Eli. I’ll see you again in a few days.”

  “V won’t let me. He won’t listen.”

  He tilted his head to the side as he stared down at me. “He’s jealous. You must see that.”

  “Can you please just talk to him? I need to see Eli. I need to know if he’s okay.”

  “I’ll see what I can do. Until next time.” He nodded at me and walked away.

  I heard the whirring sound of the window opening. No scolding from Athena. No doorknob shock. Like he could come and go whenever he wanted. Like he had access to this apartment.

  Dr. Miller never said he wasn’t V. He basically said it was unethical for him to have a relationship with a patient. But everything V did seemed unethical to me.

  Chapter 19

  Saturday

  “Athena, please,” I said and let the back of my head fall against the window. “I don’t know if you have feelings, but…I love Eli. He needs me. Please.”

  She had stopped responding to me half an hour ago. Right after I called her a slut. It was a moment of weakness. I didn’t think she’d ice me out, but she hadn’t responded since. I was just talking to myself in the empty apartment. Like a lunatic. Maybe I had lost my mind as much as V had.

  My phone ringing pulled me out of my pity party. Liza. I ran my thumb across the screen. “Liza, is he okay?” I held my breath as I waited for her to respond.

  “He’s…stable. He lost a lot of blood…”

  He’s alive! “Is he going to be alright?” I put my hand on the center of my chest.

  “I don’t know. I wanted to wait to call you when I knew, but your millionth phone call finally swayed me.”

  “So you don’t know anything?”

  “I didn’t say that,” she snapped. “I’m sorry, I’m just exhausted. He was in surgery a long time. He only just got out.”

  “That’s good, right? They wouldn’t have done surgery if there was no hope.” It felt like my heart started beating again. He’s okay. He’s breathing.

  Liza sighed. “He’s been mumbling your name. The only reason that they let me in his room is because I said I was Summer.”

  “He’s asking for me?”

  “Not exactly…he…he’s repeatedly saying your name in his sleep. I’m holding his hand, hoping he thinks it’s you. But it’s so cold…” her voice cracked. “You need to get down here, Summer.”

  “V won’t let me leave the apartment. I can’t.”

  “You need to find a way. There’s cops standing outside his door. As soon as he’s alert enough, they’re going to take him away, I just know it. You need to come now so you can say goodbye.”

  Goodbye? “Because he’s going to be arrested or because you think he’s not going to make it?”

  “Summer…”

  “Just tell me.”

  “He doesn’t look like he’s going to be okay. They won’t tell me anything because I’m not related to him. But he’s so pale. And cold. He’s not holding my hand back.”

  “Can you put the phone up to his ear?”

  There was a rustling sound and then light breathing. It was him. I could tell.

  “Eli? Can you hear me? I need you to listen to me. You’re not allowed to give up. I’ll try my best to get to you. But you can’t give up.” My voice was shaky. “Do you hear me? I love you. And I need you to keep breathing. I don’t know how to keep going without you.” I took a deep breath. “I thought I lost you. But you held on. And I can’t. I just can’t lose you, so don’t you dare make me right.”

  “I have to go,” Liza sounded alarmed. “They want to question me.” The line went dead.

  I took a deep breath. Eli was alive. That was all that mattered. And I was going to get to his side no matter what. Not that I wanted to believe he was running out of time. He was a fighter. I pushed myself to my feet.

  Liza was with Eli. V was who knew where. Probably masquerading as a shrink all over the city. And Athena wasn’t speaking to me. Hopefully she wasn’t watching me either.

  I was all alone. I needed to break out. There had to be a toolkit here somewhere. Or an Athena manual.

  ***

  I threw the hammer at the target. The side of it hit the bulls-eye and then fell to the ground. “Athena, let me out!”

  I had tried everything I could think of. All I had managed to do was accidentally scratch myself with a screwdriver.

  “When was the last time you got a tetanus shot?”

  I turned around and glared at V. “I don’t know.”

  “You need to clean that.” He gestured to my hand.

  I looked down at the dried blood on the side of my hand and wrist. “I don’t need you to take care of me, V.”

  “You could get tetanus and die. Just…stay right there.”

  I watched him disappear into the bathroom. Freaking lunatic. I wasn’t the one whose life what in jeopardy. And where the hell else would I go? He had locked me in this apartment like an animal. Ass hat.

  I sat down, rummaged through the toolkit again, and bit back a scream when my cut rubbed against something sharp.

  V lifted up the bottle of peroxide as he walked back over to me.

  I didn’t want tetanus. And I had no idea when my last shot was. Probably sometime when my parents were alive. Certainly I was due for one. I put out my hand for him.

  He sat down beside me and poured some peroxide on a cotton ball.

  “I really need to see him, V.”

  “Eli will live or die regardless of whether you give yourself over to the cops.”

  “I’ll wear a disguise.”

  “Sadie, dying your hair doesn’t change your appearance at all. I knew who you were the first moment I saw you.” He dabbed the cotton ball against my skin.

  Ow. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to ignore the pain.

  “They knew he was in New York to watch you. They’re probably waiting for you to show up outside his hospital door.”

  “I don’t think so.” I inhaled sharply when he applied more peroxide. “Liza said he was mumbling my name. She’s pretending her name is Summer and she hasn’t been arrested yet.” I left off the fact that she was being questioned. I hadn’t heard back from her since she had hung up on me. All my calls to her had gone straight to voicemail.

  “Then they’re idiots.”

  I laughed.

  He smiled as he put some Neosporin on my cut and then placed a Band-Aid on top of it. “You’re all set. Now are you done trying to break all my tools?”

  I sighed. “Please just let me go to him.”

  “I just opened a bottle of wine. It’ll help numb the pain.” He stood up and put his hand out for me.

  “That’s something an alcoholic would say. You do realize that, right?”

  V didn’t respond.

  I stood up without the help of his offered hand. “Seriously, V, just let me go. I’ll wear…sunglasses.”

  “It’s 7 o’clock at night. That would be incredibly suspicious.”

  I followed him into the kitchen. My wrath was gone. I was just exhausted and depressed.

  V slid a glass of wine down the kitchen island.

  “You could lose your license for this, you know.” I caught the glass before it teetered off the edge.

  “What?” He took a sip of wine from his own glass.

  “Isn’t that what it’s called? For you to practice medicine or something like that?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I took a huge, ungraceful gulp of wine. “I know who you are, V. You don’t have to play dumb anymore.”

  He just stared at me as I downed the rest of the glass. Numbing my pain didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

  I cleared my throat
. “Dr. Miller,” I said with a wink.

  “What about him?”

  “He’s you.”

  V laughed.

  “I told him all about you being a superhero and all that and he already knew all of it. Because he’s…you.” I walked over to him, grabbed the bottle off the counter, and took a sip straight from it.

  “I’m not Dr. Miller.”

  “Right.” I winked at him again.

  “Why the fuck do you think I’m Dr. Miller?”

  “Language, good doctor. They’re going to strip you of your license if you go around talking to patients like that.”

  He just stared at me.

  I took a swig from the wine bottle. “Of course…we both know you’re not too worried about your license. You slept with a patient after all.” I pointed at him with the wine bottle.

  “I’d say you were drunk, but you literally only started drinking a few minutes ago. So clearly you’re just insane.”

  “Take off your mask.”

  “No.”

  “But I paid attention. I did just what Dr. Miller said and actually listened. To all the clues. To all the signs. So now you can show me the light in you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Dr. Miller said that this side of you,” I waved the bottle at him, “is the dark side. Which is obvious. You ooze venom. And then he said that you didn’t think I was ready to see the light side. But I am. So just take off the stupid mask.”

  “Does he talk about me during your sessions?”

  I shrugged. “If by talking about you, you actually mean talking about yourself, then yes.”

  “What did he tell you about me?” He set his wine glass down.

  I said the most memorable thing that Dr. Miller had said about V. The first thing that popped into my head. “That I thawed your heart.”

  V laughed. “Well what he forgot to mention was that it probably wouldn’t have needed thawing in the first place if it wasn’t for you.”

  “You mean…you forgot to mention that fact.”

  “No, Sadie. I don’t fucking mean me. And he had no right to talk about me to you. That wasn’t our deal.”

  “So you’re not…”

  “No!” He put his hand up to his hood like he wanted to run his fingers through his hair, but stopped.

  How I wished he had done it and accidentally pushed back his hood. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. This was insane. We had known each other for six months. Enough was enough. And I didn’t believe him for a second. There was no way he would have told Dr. Miller he was V. There was no reason for him to trust a strange doctor over his friends. Which meant he was Dr. Miller. The charade was over. I took another swig from the wine bottle, as if I needed liquid courage to keep confronting him with the truth. “V, I know you’re him. Stop hiding. Please. We can have a real conversation without all this,” I waved my hand at his outfit.

  He walked over to me and grabbed the bottle from my hand. “Did he tell you that I dream of you?” V asked. He set the bottle down behind me, caging me against the kitchen island with his arms.

  It felt like my heart was going to explode. And guilt crept over me. I shouldn’t have felt excited by his proximity. I was in love with another man. Despite what V thought. “No, he didn’t mention that.”

  “Then what else did he tell you about me?” he asked.

  I needed him to step back. “That you’ve been cut deeply. Which is why it’s hard to open yourself up to others.”

  “Oh. Well in that case, he’s clearly told you everything you need to know about me, right?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You should be able to easily guess my true identity now that you’ve talked about me with Dr. Miller. And you still don’t see it. So maybe that’s why you’re not ready to know.”

  “I’m not the one that hurt you, V. Why are you shutting me out as punishment for something I didn’t do?”

  “You’re the one…” His throat made a deep groaning noise and he pushed himself away from me. “Drink some water and then get some sleep.” He walked away, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

  I’m the one? I rolled my eyes. Yeah right. You hate me. I grabbed the bottle of wine and took another sip. His stupid façade was done. And I was going to prove it.

  I stumbled into Eli’s room and collapsed on his bed. Even with my bloodstream pumping more alcohol than blood, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. I pulled my laptop onto my lap and typed in Dr. Miller’s name in a Google search. After adding a location and his medical distinction, I was able to find his practice. He was a real doctor. For some reason, I was a little surprised. But that didn’t exactly squash my theory. I jotted a few things down, like where he went to school so that I could quiz V. Maybe he’d slip up and admit something he didn’t mean to.

  But Dr. Miller wasn’t my only suspect. There was the issue of Mr. Crawford. He hadn’t shown up at the extraction. And V had been there. Maybe Crawford couldn’t show because V literally couldn’t be in two places at once. V had denied being Mr. Crawford once. Although, his word meant nothing as far as I was concerned.

  But V had disappeared during the extraction. I lost sight of him right before that creepy movie had started playing. I finished the bottle of wine and set it down on my nightstand. That was enough time for V to take off his disguise and put on a nice suit. I could picture Don standing in the center of the theater with the scarred skin on the side of his face. Scarred skin would be a good reason to wear a mask.

  And really, what other reason? I didn’t care who V was as long as I knew he wasn’t Don. A chill ran down my spine. So why hide it otherwise?

  I climbed out of bed and locked Eli’s door. Could V really be Don? Did that even make any sense?

  V had appeared in this city as soon as I did. Like he followed me here. He watched me. He hates me yet loves me at the same time.

  I started pacing back and forth. Crime escalated as soon as I came here. As soon as V appeared. Being Don, V, and the mayor seemed like a big load. But not an impossible load.

  Dr. Miller had said that V was the dark side. Which meant Don was the light side? My laughter sounded strange in my throat. Or was him being the mayor the light? I pinched the bridge of my nose. It felt like I was hung-over already.

  Mr. Crawford hadn’t shown up at the meeting. No one from the Helspet Mafia had. It was like they knew about our plans so they changed theirs. Like they had someone on the inside of our group. Obviously we had been compromised. We had a mole.

  It felt like I couldn’t breathe. God, what if V was Don?

  Chapter 20

  Sunday

  My phone buzzing pulled me out of my drunken stupor. I had lost my mind last night. The proof was in the fact that I had fallen asleep with my back against Eli’s door and my gun laying beside me.

  The buzzing sounded again.

  Liza. I crawled forward and grabbed my phone off Eli’s floor. I didn’t remember why it was there. Wait. That was a lie. I put it far away from myself last night because I thought V had bugged it. I had completely lost my mind. And I wasn’t sure I was going to find it again anytime soon.

  My phone buzzed again in my hand. I saw Liza’s name on the screen. “Liza?” I said as soon as I answered it. “Tell me he’s okay! Tell me everything you know!”

  “Are you okay? Why are you screaming?”

  Was I screaming? Ow. I put my hand on my forehead. Why did it matter if I was okay? I wasn’t the one sitting in a hospital bed. “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine. You sound like death.”

  “I had too much to drink last night. Just tell me how he is.”

  There was silence on her end. “So let me get this straight. While I’ve been sitting here with your boyfriend, you’ve been…partying?”

  “No.” I heard the sound of a hushed voices. “Is that him? Is he awake?”

  “I stepped outside to call you. He’s sleeping and I needed some fresh
air.”

  “How is he?”

  “A little better. He was even awake for a little while this morning. He asked for you several times. I told him you’re were trying to come.”

  “Thank you.” I sighed. He was awake. He was healing.

  “So are you? Still trying to come?”

  “Of course.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. It felt like my head had been run over by a truck.

  “So the party…”

  “A pity party for one? Trust me, I wanted to be there rather than imprisoned here.” I yelled imprisoned, hoping V could hear me. If he had bugged my phone and was listening in, maybe I had just split his eardrum.

  “Alrighty then," said Liza. "So aren’t you going to ask me what the cops wanted to question me for? I’m sorry I didn’t call back last night, you must have been worried sick about me.”

  I hadn’t been worried about her at all. She was much safer there than stuck in this miserable apartment with V. “I was just about to ask you,” I said, even though I hadn’t been and I had forgotten about it completely halfway through the bottle of wine. I couldn’t think of anything but the searing pain in my head.

  “Sure.” She laughed. “Well, they tried to arrest me.”

  “What?”

  “I mean, I said my name was Summer in order to get into his hospital room. It wasn’t exactly my smartest move.”

  “Jesus. So what happened?”

  “I told them that I just pretended that my name was Summer in order to visit his room since they weren’t letting me in. They weren’t blind so…they let me off the hook. It’s probably good you weren’t here though. They were clearly waiting for you ever since he started mumbling your name.”

  “I’m glad you’re okay.” I guess V was right. The hospital was definitely a trap.

  “Thanks. So…” she let her voice trail off and cleared her throat. “I also lied and said I was his fiancé, which helped them believe me. Eli was a little disoriented when he woke up. He kept asking for his fiancé. So I just pretended that was me to help clear up the whole Summer thing.”

  I swallowed hard. Fiancé? Was that what he was referring to me as? My insides felt like they flipped over. I liked the sound of that. We had talked about getting married after all this. “Good. I’m glad you’re allowed to be with him still.”