Diminished (Winter's Wrath Book 2)

by Bianca Sommerland

  But she breathed a little easier when Brave released her.

  He pushed off the rock, his soft words all that stopped her from leaving. “Little moon, I won’t lie to you. I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.”

  “That’s helpful.” She folded her arms over her breasts, noting Malakai standing a few feet away, mirroring her posture. “If it’s any consolation, you don’t have to explain a thing to me. We can’t happen.”

  Brave inclined his head. “Maybe not. But by that reasoning, neither can Malakai and I.”

  Malakai’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so.”

  “I didn’t like waking up to find you gone. And I do want to know why you disappeared.” Brave rolled his shoulders. “But it’s a good thing you did. Our performance on stage worked. The attention was off Shiori.” He paused, his jaw hard. “All of it.”

  This she already knew, but clearly, Malakai didn’t.

  He glared at the ground, nodding slowly. “We stole the spotlight.”

  “Last night, yes.” Brave’s lips pulled into a thin smile. “And if we make a thing of our relationship, the media will be all over us. The fans will be watching us on stage. We’ll be a huge story.”

  “And her joining the band will be nothing but a footnote.” Malakai’s tone turned bitter. “If that.”

  All right, this was ridiculous. She still felt like she’d been played, but the men didn’t sound like they’d hooked up because they had the freedom to do whatever they wanted.

  While she’d been setting up her limits, focusing on her goals, Malakai and Brave had grown closer. She’d been happy to see them getting along. Relieved as the tension between them faded away.

  What if their feelings for one another had caught them off guard? Could she fault Brave for turning to a man he’d known for so long?

  Being pissed was selfish. Expecting them to put their relationship on hold to further her career even more so.

  I won’t let that happen.

  “The solution is very simple.” She unfolded her arms and tucked her hands into the pocket of her borrowed hoodie. “I’ll ask Sophie to find me another job.”

  “No!” Both Brave and Malakai shouted at the same time.

  Her brow lifted. “Neither of you have a say.”

  Malakai stepped forward, his throat working as he swallowed. “You’re right. But…” His lips curved slightly. “I’m usually the rational one—when I’m not throwing punches.” He rolled his eyes as Brave touched the healing wound on his cheek with an exaggerated wince. “Any argument I have against you leaving will sound good. Might be convincing.” Letting out a soft sigh, he took her hand. “And wouldn’t be fair. You have to do what’s best for you.” He brushed his thumb lightly over her knuckles. “But I want you to stay.”

  Asking why would be opening a Pandora’s box she wasn’t prepared for. She should hug him and smile and go on with her day. Nothing had to change.

  He and Brave were together.

  She had plenty on her plate.

  Complications were to be avoided at all costs.

  The limits she’d set for herself, and had let others set on her, started feeling like a tight collar around her neck. Responsibility a leash constantly tugging her to heel.

  Would a little taste of freedom be so bad?

  Another one? She bit the tip of her tongue, thinking back on the night with Brave and Tate. She’d had her moment. Been wild and reckless and promised herself that would be enough.

  But it hadn’t been.

  She didn’t know what she wanted. From Brave or Malakai. Maybe all she needed was a chance to explore her feelings, even if she ended up right back where she’d started.

  Focused on her goals. Building a solid career. Providing Hiro with a safe, happy life.

  And maybe, just maybe, she could have both.

  Both everything Hiro needed and some amazing experiences. Not both men. Of course not. A simple relationship was out of her reach right now, never mind…

  Shaking her head, she shoved away all her jumbled thoughts and grinned at Malakai. “You’re a great friend. I don’t want to go either, but we have to—”

  He put a finger over her lips, his eyes darkening. He didn’t move closer. His finger left her lips, so he wasn’t even touching her. But his gaze brushed her skin like a soft caress. Goosebumps rose along her flesh at his low laugh.

  “We don’t have to do anything.” He shook his head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s nice to know you consider me a ‘great friend’.”

  Her mouth went dry as erratic butterflies danced around deep within. She’d been worried about Brave, but at least he played fair. She had no defense against Malakai. He wasn’t playing at all.

  “Good.” She wet her bottom lip with her tongue. “That’s good.”

  He gave her a slow smile. “I’ll be only a friend until you ask for more. Deal?”

  She nodded. Sounded like a much safer option. “Deal.”

  With that, he turned and started towards the bus, tossing back a casual, “Time to go.”

  Her body wouldn’t move. Her brain had taken a hike. All the confusion was gone, leaving only deep desire burning low, like a kindling flame waiting to be stroked.

  Brave eased close to her side, slipping one hand around her waist, his lips curving slightly as she glanced up at him.

  “He’s worse than any drug. I doubt anyone could resist him when he gives them a taste of that fucking high.” He leaned close and kissed her cheek. “Good luck.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Shiori’s first time on the bus had felt like an adventure. Danica teased her about staring out the window like a kid, but she’d never been on a road trip, so she wanted to take in all the sights.

  This trip, she’d started with the same excitement, but it didn’t last. The drive was taking forever.

  She checked her phone and slumped on the sofa, biting back the urge to demand how only three hours had passed. Asking ‘Are we there yet?’ was only funny the first time.

  Tate had ruined the joke in the first twenty minutes. Jesse was a patient man, but after the fifth repeat, he’d threatened to pull over make Tate walk.

  The drummer was now playing video games with Danica and Alder. They’d asked Shiori to join them, but the only game she’d ever played was Disney Infinity with Hiro. Call of Duty wasn’t her thing. Besides, the trio had some fierce competition going on.

  There had to be something for her to do. She wasn’t a child. She could entertain herself.

  Only, playing Candy Crush on her phone didn’t cut it. And she’d been told to stop reading comments on the picture she’d shared of her and Danica. Within a few hours, social media had become a scary and overwhelming place. Wendy had even called on her lunch break, freaking out over some of the nasty things people were saying.

  She hadn’t been happy when Shiori begged her not to engage. In her words, as Shiori’s best friend, it was her job to annihilate those assholes. But Danica had said to ignore them. After Shiori told Wendy to check Danica’s page, her best friend let the subject drop. Danica had over a million followers. Some of her fans defended her and the conversations turned downright feral.

  Dropping her useless phone on the sofa, Shiori stood and stretched, jumping when Alder shouted and punched his fist in the air. She snickered as both Danica and Tate playfully smacked him. At least they were having fun.

  Ambling over to the kitchenette, she smiled at Connor, who was eating straight out of a big tub of double fudge ice cream that had his name written on the side in big letters. He winked at her and held out his spoon.

  “Want some?” He shrugged when she shook her head. “Cool. Just don’t worry about the labels. Jesse is all pissy about me eating ‘Tate’s’ food. He figures we need shit separated, but Tate don’t mind sharing, right, buddy?”

  Not looking away from the TV, Tate shouted back. “Don’t touch my cookies, Con!”

  “I won’t.” Connor grinned at Shiori. “
See?”

  Shaking her head with a laugh, she clicked on the kettle, listening for any clue of what Brave and Malakai were doing in the back lounge. They’d disappeared in there hours ago and she hadn’t wanted to disturb them. No one else seemed the least bit curious about their being alone and quiet for so long.

  She pulled out a mug and rested her hip against the counter, careful to keep her tone light. “Do we need to worry about our lead singer?”

  Connor’s brow furrowed. “Because he’s with Malakai? Naw, they ain’t quiet when they fight. Quiet means they’re working on music. It’s hard to hear with the game blasting, but Malakai’s been strumming the same notes over and over for the past hour.”

  Holding still, she tried to block out the shouts, gunfire, and bombs behind her. Very faintly she made out the deep thrum of the guitar. She loved Winter’s Wrath’s music, but she’d never considered what went into making every song. From the lyrics to composing parts for every instrument—they were creating art, which must take hours. Maybe days.

  She’d always assumed they created the music when they weren’t on the road, which meant she’d only hear the finished product.

  Glancing at the door that led to the bunks, she chewed her bottom lip uncertainly. “Do you think they’d mind if I watched them for a bit?”

  “Not at all! Go on in, just don’t talk to them if they’re in the zone. Malakai and Alder get grumpy when they’re yanked out, and Brave...” Connor ate another spoonful of ice cream, eyeing Alder thoughtfully. “Alder’s not in there, so Brave’s probably working on a darker piece. He hasn’t been able to write shit in a long time. If he’s onto something, you don’t want to mess with that.”

  “Maybe going in at all would be a bad idea then.” The music was more important than her curiosity. “Do you have a book or something I can read?”

  “Unless you’re into Penthouse letters, I got nothing for you.” Connor’s lips slanted. “But Brave has a dozen in his bunk and like five million on his reading thingy. You should ask him.”

  “I’m trying not to bother him.”

  “And I’m telling you, you won’t be.” He pointed firmly at the door. “Go.”

  Ugh, stubborn man. She shook her head and opened the door, closing it firmly behind her and padding softly down the walkway between the bunks. The noise from the TV was muffled in here, but she couldn’t hear the guitar anymore. She approached the door, hearing Brave’s voice beyond, tempered with frustration.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The melody is on point, but…” He groaned. “It’s missing something.”

  “More than the other instruments?” Malakai’s tone was calm, as though he was trying hard to help, but didn’t want to push. “You’re stuck on these two songs. Maybe we should work on something else.”

  “There is nothing else.”

  A dull ache welled up in her chest at the defeat underlying Brave’s words. This was more than frustration. Almost as though failing to finish the songs was tearing him apart.

  But Malakai was with him. Malakai understood the process.

  Nothing good will come from me going in there.

  She turned to head back to the front lounge.

  The door opened behind her. “I’ll get you a drink. Maybe if you’re more relaxed you’ll—” Malakai smiled as she spun around to face him. “Hey, beautiful. You coming to keep us company?”

  The way he said “beautiful” filled her with a warmth that radiated through her skin, like a sunrise within which couldn’t be contained. His eyes took her in like he could see the glow.

  Brave was right, the man was like a drug. An aphrodisiac she’d consumed in small doses at first because he’d diluted it so much. The only effect had been a nice little buzz.

  Without warning, he’d upped the dosage. A taste wasn’t enough.

  And “luck” wouldn’t save her.

  Malakai arched a brow and moved closer. “Shiori, this is going to be a very long ride. I don’t want you uncomfortable around me.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Really?” He reached up and brushed his fingers across her cheek. She shivered, biting her lip as sparks of desire danced along her nerves. He lifted her chin with two fingers, giving her a hooded look. “Ah, I see.”

  “See what?” She swallowed hard, pulse racing, palms going damp. Her body was not cooperating with her efforts to play it cool.

  Little creases formed around Malakai’s eyes as he smiled. “Are we still ‘just friends’, sweetheart?”

  Just friends. Yes. That’s safeish.

  Sorta, in a not-the-least-bit kind of way.

  But she managed to nod.

  “Then no worries. Go sit with Brave. I’ll bring you a drink as well.”

  A drink. Damn it, she’d forgotten her tea.

  Hopefully, he’d bring her something stronger. Earl Grey wasn’t gonna cut it.

  Losing his touch almost tipped her off balance, but she managed to reach the room without making a fool of herself. Once inside, the bus decided to be helpful, jerking as the tires hit a rough patch of road.

  She stumbled and Brave jumped up, latching onto her forearms to steady her.

  “You all right?” Brave guided her to the sofa, his gold-brown eyes never leaving her face. “Are you overheated or did Malakai get to you?”

  Folding her legs under her as she sat, she let out a breathless laugh. “You warned me he would.”

  “I did, didn’t I?” Brave settled at her side and slipped one arm around her shoulders, tucking her close. “I should be jealous.”

  The fact that he wasn’t seemed to confuse him. She rested her head on his shoulder, relieved that his touch wasn’t driving her crazy. His presence still unsettled her, but the warmth that pooled in her core wasn’t overwhelming. Almost as though her body had accepted he belonged here with her, while giving into her brain’s firm “This is all you can have.”

  So long as Brave accepted that as well, she’d be fine.

  A naïve, starry-eyed side of her wished he wouldn’t accept, but she did her best to ignore that wistful little voice in her head.

  Brave ran his hand lightly up and down her arm. “I’m glad you came back here. I’m trying to focus on the music. And our man is good at keeping me on track, but—”

  She tipped her head up to frown at him. “‘Our man’?”

  “Mmhmm.” Brave’s lips curved slightly. “He’s claimed us both. There’s no point in fighting it.”

  “That’s not how relationships work.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “And I’m not in this equation. Neither of you can ‘claim’ me. But you can be together.”

  “Not without ruining your career.”

  “That’s such bullshit.” She scowled at his chuckle. “How is any of this funny?”

  He kissed her temple and gave her a light squeeze. “It’s not. You just don’t swear often and it’s cute.”

  Releasing a rough Hmmph, she drew away from him. The distance between them didn’t feel right, but he wouldn’t take her seriously without it. “Brave, I know what I need to do. I can’t let myself fall for you. I can’t let Malakai tempt me. And I won’t let my ambitions ruin what’s building between you.”

  Sliding a hand behind her neck, Brave leaned in, his steady gaze holding hers. “You can have everything, little moon. I won’t pressure you, I promised I’d wait and I meant that.”

  “You didn’t wait very long.”

  “You are jealous.”

  “No, I—” Ugh, this conversation was getting them nowhere. “I’m not like you. I won’t have many opportunities. I need this one. And even if I believed I could be with you, in secret, without affecting my career, there’s no way I could handle both you and Malakai.”

  He smiled as if she’d given him the answer he’d been hoping for. “I have no problem keeping this private.”

  “What exactly is ‘this’? The three of us?” She shouldn’t like the idea. It was completely insane. “Has anyone ever to
ld you you’re greedy?”

  “Yes.” He shrugged, as if the label didn’t trouble him at all. “Would you rather I dump our man?”

  “Stop calling him that!” All right, he had to not be touching her. His touch, along with this messed up fantasy he offered, was making it very hard to be rational.

  But she didn’t pull away.

  Part of her wanted to be convinced.

  “You didn’t answer my question.” Brave’s tone deepened, taking on a rough edge, as though he didn’t like what he was saying. “Do you want me to leave him?”

  “No.” She swallowed hard, torn between the longing to share what the men had and the knowledge that it was impossible. She glanced at the door, grateful Malakai hadn’t heard their exchange. Brave even suggesting casting him aside made her heart hurt. “I can’t believe you’d ask me that.”

  Brave stroked the side of her neck, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue in a subconscious way that brought all her attention to his mouth. “I knew you wouldn’t say yes. You won’t make me choose, any more than I’ll make you.”

  “I don’t have a choice at all.” Which she hated a little more with every repeat. Being a model, she had to watch what she ate, but the odd treat wasn’t forbidden. She had to dress a certain way in public, but she didn’t have to burn all her leggings and comfy T-shirts.

  What kind of life was she living if she denied herself any pleasure? Sure, she’d have to be careful, but how careful? So careful that she had to sit back and watch Brave and Malakai enjoy everything she wanted because she wasn’t part of the band? Because she was a woman?

  “Ease off, Brave.” Malakai stepped into the room as Connor held the door for him. Setting the three glasses on a table at one end of the U-shaped sofa, Malakai eyed Shiori with concern. Then he frowned at Brave. “Don’t make me tell you again.”

  Brave’s eyes narrowed, but he slid away from Shiori. His lips parted. Then he shot Connor a pointed look.

  Connor held his hands up. “I’m out.”