Imaginary Grace

by Anne Holster

  We went right into some Van Halen, and before I knew it Cole was signaling me. I was up. I adjusted my mic as the drum solo came to an end, then I started in on the opening chords of ‘Magic Power’.

  “Something’s at the edge of your mind

  You don’t know what it is

  Something you were hoping to find

  You’re not sure what it is

  Then you hear the music and it all comes crystal clear

  The music does the talking, says the things you wanna hear

  I’m young, I’m wild, I’m free

  Got the magic power of the music in me . . .”

  The drunken crowd seemed to be enjoying it, with everybody dancing (well jumping around, actually), and when I finished they were still applauding. The next song started with a drum intro, so I had time to step back and change my sweat drenched t-shirt. I unstrapped my guitar and leaned it against the amp, then grabbed the extra t-shirt I’d brought with me from the side of the stage. Without thinking, I turned back around and quickly tore the shirt over my head, when all of a sudden the crowd erupted into what I could only describe as a small frenzy. It took a minute to realize they were cheering for me.

  I quickly put my clean tee on and looked over at Cole apologetically. He shrugged as I strapped on my guitar. Girls were screaming for me to take it back off. I looked over at Cole, who mouthed, “Go for it,” so I slowly unstrapped my guitar and stripped my shirt off to a chorus of thunderous female applause. I tucked the edge of the shirt into the side of my jeans leaving it hanging and within seconds my guitar was back on, just in time for the start of the next song.

  I played a few more songs like that before we started our encore, and again the crowd went nuts. The stages lights dimmed as we finished and headed backstage, where I was alternately congratulated and ribbed for my impromptu striptease.

  “Great job, guys; drinks are on the house! Tanner…can I talk to you a minute?”

  Uh oh. “Yeah, sure, Cole,” I said as I pulled my t-shirt over my head and followed him to the other side of the room, “What’s up?”

  “Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you did great. If you’re up for it, maybe we can make it a regular part of the lineup when you fill in.”

  “Oh, man, that’s great! And sorry about the whole shirt-changing thing. I didn’t mean for that to happen; I just wasn’t thinking.”

  “No problem – the crowd loved it,” he said. “Oh, and by the way, have you decided what you’re going to do about touring with us next summer? I’m going to need a commitment from you soon. If you can’t do it, let me know so I can start looking for someone else.”

  I hesitated, then before I could stop myself I said, “Yeah, I’m definitely in!”

  “Great news, I’ll tell the guys. Glad to have you on board,” he said as he turned to head back out to the bar. I had just committed to the tour when I didn’t know if I would have the money.

  Maybe I’d made a stupid move, but I couldn’t think about that right now. Tonight I wanted to celebrate, so I headed back over to the rest of the band, who were downing shots of tequila, and joined in. Several shots later we headed out into the bar where I grabbed a beer and started looking around for Scott.

  I found him at the other end of the bar with the same group he’d hung with the night before. “Hey, man, great show!” Scott said as he slapped me on the back. The others gathered around to congratulate me too.

  The rest of the night went by in a blur. So many people approached me about how much they liked my performance. I was flying high. I started looking around the bar for who I’d be taking home tonight. I had had several offers, including one from Amber, who was out of the running (unless of course she brought along a willing friend again). Each girl who approached me was hotter than the next. Being a “rock star” (even if it was for only one night) did have its advantages.

  Before I knew it, it was last call and the bar was closing up. I was still in the mood to party so I convinced Scott (which wasn’t too difficult) to head over to a little after-hours place I knew of up the block. We left J.D.’s with two hot blondes; –apparently being the roommate of a rock star also had its advantages.

  When we got to the bar, it was already filling up with other J.D.’s patrons who still wanted to party. We headed through the bar toward the back where there were a few pool tables. An older couple was finishing up a game, so we didn’t have to wait long. Scott grabbed a few beers from the bar while I entertained the ladies. When he came back he began racking up the balls, insisting all the while that he be the one to break. I rolled my eyes. Scott was the worst pool player – not that I was much better, but at least I could make a decent break.

  As I stood there laughing at him, my arm draped over Girl #1’s shoulder, I lifted my gaze to the other side of the room where my eyes locked with Gary’s. He was staring at me with a smug little smile on his face.

  My mood instantly turned dark. I watched, removing my arm from what’s-her-name’s shoulders as he slowly made his way over to me, weaving in and out of the crowd until we were standing toe to toe.

  “Hey, Tanner, what’s up?” he said – a little too perky as he eyed the girl.

  “Not much, Gary,” I replied with an icy stare.

  He stood there silently for a minute, then he looked me in the eye and smirked before slowly backing away. “I knew it was bullshit with you and Grace.”

  Busted. He walked off without turning back. God dammit, that asshole had just ruined my whole fucking night—maybe even my whole plan. I was going to have to do some major damage control. I couldn’t fuck up now that I had already told Cole I was definitely committed to the tour. Now I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. I tried to get Scott to come with me, but there was no way he was leaving without Thing 1 and Thing 2, so I finally walked out alone.

  I started walking in the direction of my apartment, hoping to hitch a ride with someone, when I had an idea; I reached into my pocket, took out my phone and shot off a quick text to Grace. Hey, what’s up?

  About a minute later I got a response: Nothing. How bout u?

  I texted back: Just hangin with Scott & 2 of his cousins from out of town. Boring. Gonna head home. U wanna hang out this week?

  I waited for a reply, which came in shortly. Sure.

  I texted back: K. I’ll text u 2morrow.

  Satisfied that I had covered my bases, I put my phone away. I walked a few blocks and then it hit me – I was exhausted. Luckily for me, Cole was passing by in the car and offered to drive me the mile or so back to my apartment.

  “Thanks,” I said as I got out of the car, “that gig took a lot out of me.”

  “No problem, get some rest,” I heard him say as I shut the door. Once in my apartment I collapsed onto the couch and turned on the television. There was some stupid chick flick on, but I was too tired to look for something else. As I stared blankly at the screen, my thoughts once again turned to Operation Grace and how I had almost blown it twice in a matter of twenty-four hours.

  That was it, starting tonight I was all in. No more fuck-ups. But just then Scott arrived back home with the two girls from the bar. Correction: starting tomorrow I’m all in.

  “Where’d you go, man?” Scott asked, “I turned around and you were gone.”

  “Long story,” I said as I got up from the couch. He knew not to question me anymore in front of our guests—who I now kinda remembered were named Kayla and Rachel. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge as Scott and one of the girls disappeared into his bedroom. The other one (I think it was Rachel) followed me into my bedroom and I certainly wasn’t going to turn her away.

  I lay back on the bed and she climbed on top of me. I said, “Listen, I’ll show you a good time, but I’ve got to get up early tomorrow, so you can’t spend the night.”

  She hesitated, clearly taken aback by my
bold statement, but then agreed. They always did.

  Chapter 9

  Grace

  I barely slept a wink after the text I received from Tanner. I couldn’t wait to tell Beth! So much was going through my head. First, what did he mean when he said he wanted to “hang out”? Did that mean he wanted to come over, or maybe he wanted me to come over to his apartment, or maybe he just meant working out together at the gym?

  What would I wear? Then I thought about my conversation with Beth the night before. I wanted to jump out of bed right then and start rummaging through her closet. At some point during my whirling thoughts, I must have fallen back to sleep.

  I woke to the sun peeking through the shades, and looked over at the little alarm clock on my nightstand. Seven-thirty. I got up and looked out the small window down at the quiet courtyard below. I knew there was no falling back to sleep, so I decided to go for a run. Maybe Beth would be awake when I got back and I could tell her about the latest developments.

  I quietly got dressed, twisting my hair into a long sloppy braid, and then I slipped my Nikes on before grabbing my iPod and heading out the door.

  I ran for about five and a half miles through the various winding paths around campus before slowing to a jog and, finally, coming to a stop. After resting on one of the benches for a few minutes, I headed over to the deli for a bagel and an iced tea.

  There were quite a few people in line ahead of me so I put my iPod back on and pressed shuffle. I was listening to Boston when I felt a gentle tug on my braid. I turned around to find Tanner standing behind me looking all . . . perfect.

  “O-oh, hi!” I stammered, pulling the ear buds from my ears.

  “Hi,” he said with a smile. “I was on my way over to the gym when I saw you duck in here so I thought I’d say hi.”

  “Oh, yeah, I just finished a run,” I said, hoping I didn’t look too sweaty.

  “Whatcha listening to?” he asked motioning to the iPod.

  “Oh, nothing,” I said, slipping it into my pocket.

  “I didn’t know you were a runner. I run a few times a week. Maybe I could join you sometime.”

  “Uh, okay, sure,” I stammered. By then it was my turn, so I quickly ordered my bagel and iced tea and paid the cashier.

  “Are you going to eat here or were you going back to your room?” he asked.

  There was no way on earth I was going to eat in front of him, so I quickly said, “Oh, I’m going to eat when I get back, after I take a shower.”

  “Oh, okay, I’ll walk you back, then; it’s on my way.”

  “Okay,” I said, praying I didn’t look too bad.

  As we approached the door he reached in front and held it open for me – a move that did not go unnoticed. I walked through ahead of him, thinking how polite the gesture was; then he even offered to carry my bagel and iced tea. During the walk back there was mostly small talk – the weather, teachers we had, what we were doing for Thanksgiving break (turned out he had a job lined up for that weekend that was not too far from where I lived).

  Then he said, “Oh, I ran into your buddy Gary last night when I was with Scott and his cousins.”

  My buddy Gary? “Oh, you mean Gary from the gym,” I said.

  “Yeah, that’s the one.”

  “We’re not really ‘buddies.’”

  “Oh, well, speaking of the gym, do you want to meet up and ride the bikes again this week?” By then we had reached the steps to my dorm, and I was counting the minutes till I could get away from him and into a hot shower.

  “Sure,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound too eager.

  “Okay, great, I’ll text you later or tomorrow,” he answered, handing me the bag from the deli. As I reached for it, our fingers touched ever so slightly, sending a delicious chill up my arm.

  “I’ll see you around,” he said as he slowly turned away and walked off down the path. I watched him until he disappeared around the corner, then I raced up the stairs and burst through the door, startling Beth out of a sound sleep.

  “Beth, you are not going to believe the morning I’ve had!”

  “Do tell!” she responded as she stretched. Good old, Beth, willing to trade sleep for a story.

  “Oh my gosh, where do I begin!” I proceeded to give her the details of what had transpired, starting with the texts Tanner had sent the night before and ending with the encounter with him this morning. I stopped only to catch my breath.

  “Grace, I dare say that you may be in need of changing your Facebook status sometime soon!”

  I just grinned as I sat down to eat my bagel, which I had almost forgotten about in all the excitement. “Let’s not get carried away.”

  “Are we going to the gym later?” she asked, changing the subject rather abruptly.

  “Yeah, but I’ll meet you there since I already did my cardio.”

  “Okay, I’ll go over around two o’clock, and I’ll met up with you in the weight room around three,” she said as she grabbed her towel and her robe and went into the bathroom we shared, leaving me alone to dissect every word Tanner said.

  After she left I jumped in the shower, then did homework for the rest of the morning and into the early part of the afternoon. Before I knew it, I was changing back into workout clothes to meet up with Beth. When I arrived at the gym she was still on the bike, so I got started without her.

  I was looking around for the weights I usually used when I noticed Gary walk in. “Hi, Gary,” I said.

  “Hey, Grace, what’s up? Did you have fun at the game Friday night?”

  “Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun. It was so packed.”

  “Yeah, that’s a big rivalry, so that game in particular always draws a big crowd,” he replied.

  I found the weights I had been looking for and was getting them all set up when he added, “Oh, by the way, I ran into your friend Tanner last night.”

  My friend Tanner. “Oh yeah, he mentioned that he saw you. He was out with his friend Scott and Scott’s two cousins,” I replied absently, but I noticed Gary’s raised eyebrow.

  Clearly, Tanner and Gary weren’t very fond of one another. Maybe they have some sort of “gym rivalry” thing going on, I mused. I was about to ask him when Beth walked in.

  “Hi, Gary,” she said as she walked in, “any parties next weekend you want to let us in on?”

  “You know there’s always a party somewhere, Beth,” Gary replied, laughing.

  Back in our room after dinner Beth reminded me of the conversation we’d had the other night.

  “Beth, I’m getting a little nervous about this. Maybe it’s not such a good idea.”

  “No way, Grace. I saw the look on your face after the tailgate party. You can’t back down now. We can take it slow at first.”

  “Ok, real slow,” I answered.

  “Good, your first step should be to lose the hoodies.”

  “Can I wear something in place of the hoodies?” I asked.

  “Yes, but when you get to wherever you’re going, weather permitting, you have to take it off.” I squirmed a little. “Grace, you asked for my help, so now you’re going to have to follow my lead. Trust me, you can do it. Now gather up all your hoodies and put them on the bed.”

  I slowly opened the closet and gathered all fourteen of them – I actually had fifteen, but I grabbed one off the hanger and threw it to the floor of the closet in the back without Beth noticing.

  “Hey, how about we go shopping next week? We’ll take the bus into Baltimore,” she announced.

  “Beth, I don’t have a lot of money…” I started.

  Beth quickly put her hand up. “Stop. I Googled consignment shops in the Baltimore area, and quite a few came up. You can find a lot of treasures consignment shopping, trust me, and in the meantime you can borrow some of my things. Here, try this on,” she said as she tossed me he
r jean jacket. I put it on, and it fit like a glove. “See, it looks great on you. You can wear it tomorrow. Now, let’s see, you seem to be okay in the jeans department, but you’re definitely short on tops, so that’s what we’ll concentrate on when we go shopping next weekend.”

  She then handed me various cute little sweatshirts and jackets to get me through the week. I wondered to myself how one person could have so many clothes.

  I went to class all week with a different jacket on each day, and it felt great. I saved the jean jacket for Friday because it was my favorite and that was the day I would be seeing Tanner. I was disappointed that I hadn’t heard from him all week, but he did text me Thursday night asking if I wanted to go to the gym with him after class on Friday.

  Oh, yeah!

  So, armed with my gym bag, backpack, and Beth’s jean jacket I was off, arriving at class nice and early, as usual. I sat and waited for him to walk through the door. When he did, he didn’t disappoint. He breezed down the row I was in, taking the seat directly behind me. This time I didn’t pretend to be reading. I looked up and he smiled at me, causing me to practically melt into my seat.

  “You ready for our workout?” he said brightly.

  “Yep,” I said, just as the professor walked in.

  When we got to the gym, I quickly changed in the locker room. Then, after taking one last look at myself in the large mirror, I headed for the door. No Beth today; I was on my own. As I was walking past the front desk, I heard Tanner call my name. When I turned, I saw him talking to a rather attractive girl.

  “Grace, come here a minute,” he said as I slowly walked over. “Grace, this is Jennifer. She usually works the early shift. Jen, this is Grace,” he said as he put his arm around me. There’s that arm-draping thing again!

  She gave me the once-over with a rather curious expression on her face. “Nice to meet you, Grace,” she said, somewhat flatly. Then she added, “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

  “Oh, it’s nice to meet you, too. I usually come in later, so that’s probably why we’ve never seen each other,” I answered, trying not to sound nervous.