She’d volunteered to watch Sophie when Keeton had left the previous day to take his dad to Tulsa. An opening had come available in a treatment program. In-house for a month. She prayed it would get James West back on track. She’d been praying for Keeton’s parents to reunite. She smiled at the thought. A couple that obviously still loved each other should be together. She thought that after all of these years, the fact that they were both still single said a lot.
So why was she still single? One last look at the barn and she turned toward the house, shutting out thoughts that would clearly just get her down. Especially with a sweet reminder of what she’d missed cradled in her arms. Silly, but she’d spent a lot of years thinking she’d never find the right guy.
The dates she’d been on had left her thinking there had to be something more. She wanted something that felt like it should last forever, not something that might be fun for a date or two. She wanted a man in her life whom she wanted to spend time with.
She’d been spending a lot of time with Keeton.
The thought brought a sigh. Lucy smiled up at her, the fist back in her rosebud mouth. “Lucy, this is worse than talking to myself. I’m having conversations in my mind. This is the first step to being an old maid, I know it is.”
Lucy cooed very sweetly and Sophie thought that in baby talk the infant must be telling her to “get a life.”
A car turned into her driveway. Sophie had made it to her back door but she stopped and waited to see who would get out of the old truck. When the Gordons stepped out, she smiled and waved.
But why were they here? She figured she would have her chance to ask them that in a few minutes. Mr. Gordon waited at the front of the truck for his wife and they both walked up, easily reaching for each other, holding hands.
Even at their age. Sophie wanted to know how a person got that. Everyone seemed to be able to find it but her.
“Mr. and Mrs. Gordon! It’s great to see the two of you.” In the back of her mind she remembered the police officer’s questions the night the barn caught fire. She felt a moment’s hesitation and brushed it aside.
“Good to see you, too, Ms. Cooper.” Mr. Gordon led his wife across uneven ground and then up the path to where Sophie stood. Mrs. Gordon touched a rose bloom as she passed the bush at the edge of the patio.
“Lovely flowers, Sophie. I used to—” and then she smiled a tight smile “—I used to grow roses. But we’ve planted new bushes at the corner of our apartment. Chuck even put a garden at the edge of the apartment complex. Several of the tenants are working on it together.”
“I love to hear that, Mrs. Gordon. Is there something I can do for the two of you?”
“Well, we’re afraid we have news that you need.” Mr. Gordon looked at his wife and then back to Sophie. “About the fires.”
Sophie pointed to the patio table. “Let’s sit down. Could I get either of you anything? Coffee, iced tea?”
“No, nothing for us. We just came from the Mad Cow. We can’t go without Vera’s fried chicken so we come over to Dawson every Monday for the lunch special.”
Half the county drove to Dawson for Vera’s fried chicken. But the Gordon’s serious expression kept Sophie from mentioning the chicken.
“You heard about the fires?” Sophie waited for them to sit at the patio table and she sat across from them, still cuddling a now-fussy Lucy. “Would you mind if I get her a bottle?”
“No, of course not.” Mrs. Gordon smiled. “Is she a niece?”
“She’s Keeton West’s daughter. I’m watching her for a couple of days.”
“We heard about his house.”
Sophie nodded as she stood. “The police don’t believe the fires are related. I’ll be right back.”
When she returned, Lucy had her bottle and Sophie had a growing sense of unease. She sat down again, holding the bottle as Lucy made noisy sucking sounds.
“We’re afraid that our nephew has something to do with this vandalism.” Mr. Gordon pushed a hand through thinning gray hair. “I hope that’s not the truth, but if he’s doing this, then he needs to be stopped.”
Sophie leaned forward, turning a little in her chair to make room for Lucy in her arms. Her heart ached for the Gordons, for all they’d lost and the way they’d managed to keep going.
“Why do you think Gabe would do this? He’s been helping me build the houses.”
“He’s bitter, Sophie. Some people just let bitterness get to them. We didn’t have kids of our own. I guess he always thought he’d get that land.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” That they hadn’t had children, or that their nephew had laid claim to what had been theirs.
“We tried to tell him how much you’ve done for us. But last night he came to our house ranting and raving about how we’d let him down.”
“I think we should call the police.” Sophie reached for her cell phone. “I can live with losing a barn. But I wouldn’t want him to hurt either of you.”
“He isn’t like he used to be. He used to be a real good boy. He helped us a lot on the farm.” Mrs. Gordon shook her head and a few tears trickled down her cheeks. She pulled a tissue from her purse and wiped them away. “It’s a sad world we’re living in.”
“Getting sadder by the day.” Mr. Gordon nodded in affirmation.
And Sophie wondered. Because she heard often that it was a sad world with people not really caring about others. But she’d seen the opposite in the past few weeks. She’d seen a community come together. Even in the past few years with hard times falling on everyone. There were bad people, but she’d seen quite a few good ones, too.
It seemed the bad took the focus off the good.
“Please, don’t call the police. Not yet. Let us have a chance to talk to him. If he did do this, maybe we can talk him into turning himself in.” Mrs. Gordon twisted her tissue in her hands and looked up with eyes that pleaded for understanding.
“I’m not sure what to do.” She’d thought building the housing development would be easy. People helping each other achieve something they couldn’t achieve on their own. What could be better?
It only took one angry person to ruin it for everyone.
“We want you to be real careful until this gets hammered out.” Mr. Gordon stood and his wife followed. “We’ll talk to him tonight.”
“Thank you.” Sophie watched them go and she wasn’t sure what to say or what to do. She definitely didn’t think they could talk their nephew into turning himself in. Not if he was as angry as they said.
They drove away and she went inside. And for the first time in a very long time, she locked the deadbolt.
Lucy slept soundly for the next two hours. And Sophie dozed with her. The two of them were curled up on the couch when the doorbell rang. Lucy cried out and Sophie sat up, brushing a hand through her hair. Her heart beat a little faster than normal and she froze, waiting.
“Sophie, it’s Keeton.”
She stood, leaving Lucy on the couch. The baby had fallen back to sleep, her breathing steady and sure. Sophie pushed the ottoman up against the sofa and rolled a blanket next to the baby to keep her from moving close to the edge.
“Coming,” she whispered. “Hold your horses.”
She opened the door, and Keeton smiled and held out a dozen roses. The fragrance greeted her, his smile greeted her. She took the flowers and motioned him inside, a finger to her lips.
“How’s my girl?” He peeked around the corner and smiled when he saw his daughter. “She looks pretty happy.”
Sophie smiled because Lucy had woken up and she had her feet up, playing with her toes. “She’s been a very good girl.”
He took off his hat and hung it on the hook next to her front door. Then he kicked off his boots. Sophie watched
him looking so at home, so comfortable in her world. Before she could move away with the flowers, his arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her close.
“I missed you.” His cheek brushed hers, rough and masculine. He touched her cheek and turned her to settle his lips on hers. “We have unfinished business.”
Do we? she wanted to ask. But she couldn’t think straight, not with his hands on her waist, his lips on hers. Think back, she told herself, to what could have been.
A lifetime with this man. The thought jarred her from the moment and she stepped back.
“How’s your dad?”
Keeton grinned. “Good. He’s going to be good.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Would you like coffee?”
“Not really.” He glanced at his watch. “Do you have food in this house or should I take you out to dinner?”
“I happen to have food. I went to the store after church yesterday and bought real food.”
“Real food? We’re not going to be subjected to toaster pastries for dinner?”
“Only if you keep mocking me.” She slipped away from his touch and from the teasing voice that belonged to her heart, the one that kept asking her why she was running from something that could be the most perfect thing to ever happen to her.
* * *
Keeton let Sophie walk away. She hurried down the hall to the kitchen and he smiled at how quickly she had to get away from him, and probably away from what she felt. He kind of liked knowing that she at least felt something in his arms. Nothing hurt a guy’s ego worse than lack of interest.
His baby girl had fallen back to sleep. He wanted to pick her up and tell her they’d survive anything, together. Even her mother. Yeah, they’d survive Becka trying to get custody. Four months ago when his little girl had been born, he hadn’t had a clue about her existence. Now that he knew her, he wouldn’t stop fighting to keep her in his life. He definitely wouldn’t give her back to the mom who had dumped her.
When he walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, Sophie turned. She smiled a hesitant smile and went back to cutting chicken and vegetables into chunks.
“Kebabs?” She opened a drawer and pulled out sticks.
“Sounds good.” He leaned on the counter and watched. “You okay?”
She nodded and kept working. Chicken, zucchini, peppers, chunks of onions. He grabbed damp skewers from a tray and started pushing the meat and vegetables on. She continued to cut.
“The Gordons came by. They think it’s Gabe.”
“Gabe?” He paused midpush with a chunk of pineapple in his hand.
“Setting the fires.”
“Why do they think that?”
“He stopped by their apartment and said a few things that concerned them. They want to talk to him before I call the police. I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. What if he does something else before they can talk to him?”
“Soph, if you’re harboring any thoughts of talking to this guy, I want you to leave it alone. Call the police but don’t you go near him.”
She looked up, her brows arched, and he knew he’d said the wrong thing. “You want me to leave it alone?”
“I could have said that better.” He looked down at the stick filled with meat and vegetables and he tried hard not to smile.
“I should have said, ‘We should let the police handle this.’”
“Good save.” She picked up a stick and he backed away. “Do not start bossing me around like I’m the little lady that you have to protect.”
“I kind of like being the man who protects you.”
She poked him in the chest with her finger. “I’m very capable of taking care of myself.”
“I only meant that I wouldn’t want you hurt.”
She poked him again, but she smiled. “You’re a he-man woman protector.”
He chose the next grin to be a little flirty, to soften her up. Always good to fall back on charm, he thought. “I’m a he-man woman protector and I love you.”
She shook her head. “No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.” He walked over to the sink and washed chicken off his hands. When he turned, she had gone back to cutting meat. The knife in her hands looked a little dangerous.
“Is that such a bad thing, to be loved?”
“No, it isn’t bad. It’s just not what I expected.”
“Really, Sophie? It isn’t what you expected?” Man, he’d never been so frustrated by a woman in his life. Maybe because he’d never met one before that made him want to invest everything into a relationship.
“I don’t know, Keeton. Maybe I did expect it. Maybe I thought it would work itself out and we’d keep being friends.”
“Can’t I love you and be your friend? Seems like the perfect way to have a relationship, if you ask me.”
“I wasn’t asking you.” She finished cutting up their dinner and he started to get the sneaking suspicion that if he kept going on this track, he’d derail and end up eating chicken at the Mad Cow.
“Sophie, I love you.” He said it strong and without hesitation. “I’m not going to apologize for loving you. The other night we were dancing and I kind of thought you might feel the same way.”
“Moonlight, dancing, kissing, that’s what happened between us the other night.”
“What are you so afraid of?” He stepped close and he wanted to hold her, but he had a pretty good idea that if he reached for her, she’d punch him.
“I’m not afraid.” She shook as she exhaled. “I want to keep things simple.”
“Because simple means less invested. Safe.” He ran a hand down her arm and touched her hand. “I think I’ve loved you for years.”
“You left.” She opened her mouth and then shook her head as if those weren’t the words she’d planned.
And maybe they finally had the truth. “I left?”
She closed her eyes. “You walked away. You didn’t come back. You went off to chase Kade’s dream and you left.”
“I left.” He was thirty-six years old and blindsided by something he’d never given a second thought, other than to wonder what might have happened if.
He reached for her but she pulled away and he saw in her eyes that something more was going on. Her eyes looked wild with hurt, with loss.
“Sophie?” He didn’t reach for her. “I didn’t know you wanted me to stay.”
“I had a miscarriage.” The words were whispered and her arms wrapped around her middle. She didn’t look at him. She’d been strong forever and now he saw that she was strong because it held her together. And he hadn’t known.
“I didn’t know.”
She shook all over, and he didn’t know what to do. “No one knew. How could I tell something like that? I definitely couldn’t tell my parents and break their hearts.”
“I think they—”
She raised her hand to stop him. “I know that now. But as a kid, I thought I couldn’t tell them. I thought it would break their hearts if they knew I’d done something like that.”
“So what did you do?”
“A friend took me to the doctor, and then I stayed at her house in Grove for a few days, until I could get my head on straight and stop crying.”
She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked at him.
“Oh, Soph, I’m sorry.”
“I was going to have Kade’s baby.” She shook her head and turned from him when he tried to reach for her.
“Sophie, I’m here now.”
She turned, her face pale, her hands shaking. “I know you’re here now. But I needed you then. I needed my friend and until you moved, you avoided me. I really wish we weren’t having this conversation now. I’m not seventee
n. I’m not even twenty-seven.”
He owed her an explanation. Now, looking back, he realized he’d made some serious mistakes. After Kade’s funeral he’d put distance between himself and Sophie.
“I wanted to give you space.”
She looked up, her eyes rimmed with red, tears still hovering on the surface. “Space? When we needed each other, you thought I needed space?”
“I didn’t want to be a replacement for Kade. I didn’t want to spend my life wondering if you loved me or if I was a replacement for him. I still don’t want that to be between us.”
The words fell harsh and real between them. He backed up, his hands up in surrender. From the living room he heard Lucy fussing. Reality in diapers.
“You should go.” Sophie wiped at her eyes. “We shouldn’t have had this conversation and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anyone.”
“You think I’d tell?”
“I don’t know what I think. I just know that I’ve made mistakes in my life and I’ve lived with them.”
“And punished yourself for them?”
“Maybe.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“I don’t think I’ll be ready to talk tomorrow.” She reached into the cabinet for a pan and swiped the food onto it with the knife. She covered it with foil. “I need time.”
“I’ll give you time, but I’m not walking away from this. We’re going to talk. We’re going to find a way to move past what happened.”
She looked up at the ceiling. Her eyes were dark with shadows and her lips pursed together. He wanted to hold her, but he knew better. He knew she needed time to pull herself together and decide what she wanted.
As he walked out he wondered if he was making another mistake by walking away. Years ago he’d given her space. And that space had now opened into a giant chasm that left them on two sides of a huge canyon.
Chapter Fifteen
Sophie wandered out to pet her mule a few days later. She’d been holed up inside her house, rethinking what she’d told Keeton and wondering why in the world she’d told him. All these years, only her friend Alicia had known. It had been safer that way. At seventeen she’d really thought the whole world would condemn her and paint a scarlet letter on her chest.
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